How do you feed your 1 year old/toddler?

[barkley1]

I just wanted to get some ideas from you all, in case my first time mom cluelessness is hindering DS's eating. He's such a picky eater. My friends w/ children his age (14 months) have babies that will eat spaghetti, chicken/chicken nuggests, guacamole, beans, etc. DS will only eat the VERY familiar - hardly will try anything new and I don't know why. Basically, he eats this:

any fruit
noodles - curly, shell, spaghetti-type
mac n cheese
shredded cheese
tofu
diced ham (pretty much the only meat he'll eat, but I don't like it b/c it's so high in sodium and nitrates)
applesauce
cheerios
yogurt

So, that's not a big variety when you try to get 3 meals a day every day out of that.

Am I doing something wrong? The way I feed him is one food at a time, in pieces on his highchair tray. He either eats the pieces until he's bored of that food and then I offer another food, OR, throws it on the floor if he doesn't want it. If I don't offer what he's wanting (like if I'm trying to have him eat what the rest of the family is eating) he starts crying out of frustration. I can't give him a bowl of food to eat on his own b/c he just wants to turn it over and dump it out everywhere - like too much food at one time. That includes the bowls/plates that are supposed to stick to the tray - never works or DS becomes so focused on prying them off he won't eat.

Is there another way to do this? I'm trying to be as relaxed and easygoing about this as possible, but his eating habits aren't getting any better. Help!!

[Katigre]

What happens if you start adding an additional food to the things he already eats? Like mixing pureed carrot into his applesauce (I get these apple-carrot sauce squeeze packs from Trader Joe's that are really yummy)?

Will he taste any of your regular dinners when you put bits on his plate?

[barkley1]

I have snuck things into his applesauce, etc before - sometimes he eats it, other times, he's onto me and spits it right out. I'm really trying to move him towards eating what the family eats, with a few modifications of course...this business of trying a bunch of old standbys each night to see which one he's in the mood for tonight is getting old. And, I know he needs more variety.

When we put pieces from our plates on his tray, he usually just pushes it aside if he doesn't recognize it. If he does touch it, it's to squeeze it and then throw it on the floor :(

[the2bobs]

don't worry about what the other kids are eating, it sounds like your kid is eating pretty well--a lot more than DS1 would even touch at that age. Our Ped told us to aim for 1 good meal a day--that used to be breakfast for him, he would eat waffles and baby food whereas DS2 (he's 1) doesn't like breakfast foods but eats twice the amount of his 3 yr old brother. It's so frustrating, but you can't force feed him. If he wants mac n cheese 3 times/day, then at least he's eating. DS2 didn't even touch dinner last night, oh well.

[barkley1]

So at what age do you begin to say, "OK, this is what we're having for dinner, and if you don't touch it, there's no other choices." Right now, DS wouldn't understand that, and I've "taught" him, my fault, that if he doesn't want what's offered (example: tonight it was spaghetti - he did his little hands like windshield wipers and it went flying!!!) then I'll find something else.

in fact, like I mentioned earlier, he even starts crying if it's not something he wants.

[MomToOne]

Just keep trying. Every day or two I try to introduce/rotate in something different. Right now we're having a hard time with vegetables. So every couple of days I pick up a small amount of something different: a tomato, a bell pepper, etc and chop it into the pasta or whatever.

A lot of times she will pick the veggies out and put them to the side and refuse to eat them, but I feel like I've tried and that one day we'll stumble upon something she likes and that will be the payoff.

[Dr C]

We just put a selection of whatever we're eating on DD's tray and see what she does with it. Sometimes she eats it. Sometimes she throws it at the dog. Sometimes she screams. If she acts hungry but she's not interested in whatever is on her plate, we'll sometimes throw in a handful of cheerios... but that's it--I am too busy to be a short order cook for either of the kids.
I think this is easier with my second because we don't over think it. Unlike with DS, I don't really take inventory of how many bits of chicken she has eaten vs stuffed down her shirt and smeared in her hair. We offer whatever we cook (just put it on the highchair tray, no bowls for us yet). We try to provide at least something the kids like to eat but we also challenge them from time to time with interesting new foods. If DD scarfs something down, I give her more. When she starts screaming, mealtime is over and she can get down and play.

[maestramommy]

I feed my 1yo everything we eat except that which her lack of molars can't chew. So no nuts, raw carrots, etc. For meat I give her the least stringy pieces, and cut it up small. For something like broccoli I give her smaller but still whole florets. She will hold it and chew away. I figure it's easier and maybe safer than trying to gauge what size pieces to cut it into. Plus the more she feeds herself the more she ends up eating. She eats a wide variety of foods, but will not often eat that much in a single sitting. Sometimes if she's very hungry she will eat a ton, but that's pretty rare. A lot of our meals are mixed foods (rice with a meat and veggie, spaghetti, stir fried noodles with all sorts of stuff), and so her bites end up with a little of everything.

All of my kids are fairly good eaters, but the older two have gone through picky phases around 2-3, and I expect that my youngest will as well. I have gotten tired of cooking different meals (for the kids and Dh and I) so most of the time they eat what I eat, if they want. If they don't, they don't eat, or they eat very little. I do my best to show it matters very little to me whether they eat a lot or a little. The only exception being, if they want dessert, they have to finish dinner, including the one little bite of their non-preferred food. For a while I was giving my 1yo Cheerios as a backup because she had so little teeth. But I stopped doing it a couple of months ago, and she no longer cries for it.

[LMPC]

So at what age do you begin to say, "OK, this is what we're having for dinner, and if you don't touch it, there's no other choices."
I think this stage comes much later, IMO. But that doesn't mean that you need to stop offering him foods over and over again until he gets a taste for them. The list you gave has a wide range of textures -- I think that's a good sign.

Does it help if you make a fuss about a new food? DD was always interested when I would act as if what I was giving her was the end-all-be-all new food! I really hammed it up.... just a thought.

Don't give up! If you have "taught" him one thing, you can teach him another :) Keep introducing those new foods! He'll come around!

[maestramommy]

I know someone whose toddler has a limited list of foods she likes. So what she does is serve her some of the guaranteed choices, but she also adds a bit of something new. She does one new food a week, and if at the end of the week the toddler still doesn't, she moves on to something else. I would probably try something similar, but not stay with the same addition for a week. I mean, *I* don't like to eat the same thing every day for a week, even my faves. But I think the principle is good. Her toddler is terribly picky, and she has gotten her to like new foods in this way.

But I am a mean mean mommy, and by now my 14 month old has to eat what we have, or she doesn't eat:p I'm sure I was more of a softie with my first, but now I just don't have the time or patience to make separate meals unless the kids are eating leftovers.

[karstmama]

if you're concerned, give ellyn satter ('how to get your kids to eat, but not too much' and 'feeding with love and good sense') a read.

remember to keep putting it in front of him, but requiring nothing of him. there's some big number (8? 14?) of times it's offered before it becomes ok to even taste for some cautious kiddos, then about that same number of taste & rejects before it might be 'ok'.

your jobs are to provide a time and a variety of nutritious meals & regular snacks. the child's job is whether and how much to eat.

[barkley1]

Someone else on this board recommended ellen sattyr (sp?) so I did give it a read. It sounds really good in principle, but she never mentions what to do if your toddler cries the whole mealtime for a different food :(

i guess that's why i was wondering at what age do you just quit catering to them? I think, too, that I will be less of a softie w/ my second, but being my first, I just hate to hear him cry b/c he knows I've got tofu or blueberries in the fridge!! I suppose I'll just do the some familiar + some new and eventually hope he accepts the new foods and comes around. thanks!!

Another question: I'm assuming we'll eventually get to the point where he can use a plate, bowl, etc? It's just a toy right now - Ellen Satyr specifically says not to scold at mealtime, so, I'm just avoiding them at this point, and trying to be patient with food being thrown on the floor!!

[maestramommy]

Occasionally I use a plate, because my toddler sees her sisters using one, and wants one too;) But it's more trouble than it's worth. But it's all for fun, so if she really wants it, I use it for cereal, goldfish, fruit. The food *I* feed her (meaning she doesn't self feed) is usually in a bowl.

[karstmama]

when j was really starting to self-feed, i'd just put a few bites worth on his high chair tray and replenish as he ate it. if i put a lot, he'd throw it in the floor. then when he really had the idea that meal time was for eating, i'd put things on a small melamine or plastic plate.

now he's 3 1/2 and starting to get the idea of spoon & fork, so it's not like he's all quick at this or anything, but he's a terrific eater. i don't think that's on me, though - it's luck.

ellyn says to have something at every meal that each family member likes, so for a picky little one, i guess i'd have maybe applesauce and cubed (non-shredded, to make him 'reach') cheese and tiny bits of turkey. he gets one thing 'easy', one that's a reach, and one to get familiar with. no pressing, no comments, all of whatever we're having that he wants.

you're doing fine!

[hellokitty]

This is a hard stage. DS3 was a good eater until about a month ago when he learned how to walk. Now he is a horrible eater and other than breastfeeding, I have no idea how he sustains himself. He basically throws most of his food off of his high chair during meal times, after only eating a few bites. Usually, that means I take him off his HC, b/c he's obviously lost interest.

[Clarity]

We just put a selection of whatever we're eating on DD's tray and see what she does with it. Sometimes she eats it. Sometimes she throws it at the dog. Sometimes she screams. If she acts hungry but she's not interested in whatever is on her plate, we'll sometimes throw in a handful of cheerios... but that's it--I am too busy to be a short order cook for either of the kids.
I think this is easier with my second because we don't over think it. Unlike with DS, I don't really take inventory of how many bits of chicken she has eaten vs stuffed down her shirt and smeared in her hair. We offer whatever we cook (just put it on the highchair tray, no bowls for us yet). We try to provide at least something the kids like to eat but we also challenge them from time to time with interesting new foods. If DD scarfs something down, I give her more. When she starts screaming, mealtime is over and she can get down and play.

:yeahthat: I swore off hotdogs, mac and cheese and chix nuggets for my kids and simply served them whatever we were having. Try to serve a well balanced meal, every meal. Think, fruit, vegetable, protein and small amt of carb. Make them finger food sized and offer them repetetively so they become familar. For example, cook up carrots and just cut him ONE for his plate. Experts have been saying that it takes offering a new food more than 10x for it to be accepted. Keep trying but keep it low key. Don't make a big deal out of what he's eating. Best of luck!

[HannaAddict]

He is fine, what he's eating seems great! Don't worry about what other people say their kids are eating. Use the info for ideas for things to offer, but your little one is doing fine.

[barkley1]

These are really great ideas - thanks so much everyone! I like the idea of a "reach" - same food, different presentation. We'll keep on plugging along :)

[Momto1]

I also do as PPs mentioned - a variety of 2 or 3 foods, including 1 or 2 that I know she likes.

If she does "windshield wiper" hands at the beginning of the meal, I'll only give her 1-2 pieces of foods at a time. When she does "windshield wiper" after she's alreay eaten a bunch, then I take away her tray and put her on the floor, letting her know that if she does that, then meal time is over.

Often, she'll tell me she's all done and start dumping food off the side of the table. I've started giving her a little bowl to "clean up" her food. She loves putting all the bits of food in the bowl, and will often decide to eat a couple of pieces before putting them in the bowl. Then, she'll sometimes grab a couple pieces out of the bowl and eat those as well.

But.... I agree with PP that it doesn't sould like your LO is a picky eater at all for his age. He certainly eats more than DD did at 12 months. Try not to compare him to others because there's always going to be some kid out there who eats more than yours.