Anxiety over school work being difficult now in older grade

[niccig]

2 situations.

1. A friend's DD is in grade 2 and is upset about school and doesn't want to go. She said the work and homework is too difficult. This morning, she was so upset she threw up.

I suggested my friend talk to the school counsellor, her DD's teacher, and call he Dr, to see if there's anywhere to get some help to deal with this. She's only grade 2, she shouldn't be freaked out about school work at SEVEN years old.

2. We have a very small amount of the same thing with DS. He's been moved up in gymnastics to older group and he now says it's too difficult. He wants to go back to the younger class. He said the same thing about PE at school and not wanting to go because it's PE today. Both the school PE and outside gymnastics are not competitive and both teachers are all about just trying. I told DS he's just to try and if he's tired, he can take a break then join in again. DS is good at both PE and gymnastics. I mentioned it to the PE teacher at drop off, so he's aware of how DS feels. I think my DS isn't liking the transition to older group, and things are a little more difficult.


Thanks for any advice.

[bubbaray]

Not sure about your friends DD. Someone here was dealing with anxiety issues with their daughter -- was it Beth?? Can't remember.

About your DS, this is pretty normal IME. Just lots of reassurance, pointing out the benefits/good things in the new class, like can he use more equipment, is the class longer, etc..

[Indianamom2]

I think in situation number one, seeking counseling is the way to go. Getting so upset that you get sick over school at 7 years old is a bit out of the norm. Of course, I say this as a parent whose almost 6 year old K'er is very similar. We are seeking counseling (getting the ball rolling, anyhow).

Your son sounds like a less severe problem. He's probably a perfectionist and maybe a little anxious. When something is initially hard, it's tempting to quit because they can't get it right away. DD is always like this when she's challenged. Speech really, really brought this out in her.

So maybe not much advice, but I think I understand what you're dealing with.

[KpbS]

2. We have a very small amount of the same thing with DS. He's been moved up in gymnastics to older group and he now says it's too difficult. He wants to go back to the younger class. He said the same thing about PE at school and not wanting to go because it's PE today. Both the school PE and outside gymnastics are not competitive and both teachers are all about just trying. I told DS he's just to try and if he's tired, he can take a break then join in again. DS is good at both PE and gymnastics. I mentioned it to the PE teacher at drop off, so he's aware of how DS feels. I think my DS isn't liking the transition to older group, and things are a little more difficult.


Thanks for any advice.

We had the same situation at the beginning of the summer. DS1 moved up to the next level and it was more challenging for him. He said he didn't like it and didn't want to take lessons anymore. I reassured him that he could handle it and the teachers were there to teach and help him learn. He stuck it out and things got better. I am glad I had him continue. He isn't taking now b/c we are just doing one extracurricular this semester and that's swimming for now.

I would encourage your friend to talk to her DD's teacher and see what she reports and then set up a counseling appointment for her DD. Is her DD in an advanced program or school setting? Is she a perfectionist? Are there other issues to be considered--stress at home, etc.?

[egoldber]

1. A friend's DD is in grade 2 and is upset about school and doesn't want to go. She said the work and homework is too difficult. This morning, she was so upset she threw up.

This is pretty classic anxiety. But OTOH, it is the beginning of the school year and it can take 3-4 weeks for many kids to settle in. If I were your friend, I would let the teacher know and then see what the next 2-3 weeks bring. If it doesn't get better, then I would think about seeing a counselor or therapist. If this becomes a pattern over the next year or so of school, then I would definitely consider seeing someone over the next few years for the time around when school starts.

And with your DS, again I think that this is pretty normal. The transition to higher grades with more expectations are stressful for some kids. I would just keep an eye on it. Of it does not resolve on its own in 3-4 weeks, I would consider seeing someone.

[ehf]

Let the school counselor, teacher, and admin know.

If everyone sort of seems okay, teachers assume the work level is optimized. If complaints start to pour in, they know to back off.

For your DS, let him drop back. Why not? Then, when he's ready, move him up.