Mamas of picky eaters (Long and rambling - sorry)

[DietCokeLover]

Talk me through what you do at your house. I'm struggling. I read (most of) Amy Satter's book. Honestly, I don't follow it exactly like she said. We don't serve food family style.

But, my DC continue to get pickier and pickier. Often, my kids go to bed very hungry because they have not eaten lunch and/or dinner because they refuse to eat what I gave them. And I am not willing to make chicken nuggets and PB&J for every meal. I try to accomodate these preferences some (2 to 3 times per week), but they won't eat anything!!! It's heartbreaking as a mother to see your children go to bed hungry multiple days in a row.

They are pretty good about eating breakfast - pancakes, cereal, biscuits - but of course that's all yummy carbs!
But, other than that, we are down to a handful of foods they will eat - yogurt, applesauce (DD, but not DS), bananas (DS, but not DD), cheese (DS only), sometimes scrambled eggs.... I can't even think of anything else!

I'm seriously in tears about this on a daily basis (though not in front of them). I can't get them to even taste anything new. I've tried engaging them in preparing the food and they have a great time doing that, but then when it is cooked, they will not eat it.

Please share with me some of your tricks and some of your own coping strategies. I seriously feel like I am a horrible mother most of the time around meal times. I can't even feed my children!

Help!!!

[Reyadawnbringer]

No advice here, but I will be stalking this thread because DS is the exact same as you described. He is so adverse to trying new foods that when we made cookies together he was super excited but then wouldn't touch a bit of them after they were done baking... I have no idea how to break out of this :( :hug:

[larig]

right there with you ladies. I can't get DS (2.25) to put anything new in his mouth, really, and a lot of old things he's started to avoid too.

[bubbaray]

You described our house too. I have no solutions, only hugs.

[DietCokeLover]

So, do y'all only make what they'll eat or do you cook "normal" food and send them to bed hungry if they won't eat?

[bubbaray]

I cook for the family -- not separate meals (I know someone who does that). If they refuse what is served, they can get themselves some yogurt and I might make them toast. And, yes, if they want something "dessert-ish" (we don't have "real" desserts), they have to eat their dinner first.

[egoldber]

I feel your pain. My older DD is very picky. She has become less so as she has gotten older and we have been able to start talking to her about the importance of nutrition, etc.

I have basically made my peace with it, but largely because what she *does* it is usually healthy. She would not even eat chicken nuggets until about a year ago and even now she will only eat one particular brand (Trader Joe).

For many kids the issues around food are sensory and, as we realized over time with older DD, anxiety related. For her, she literally has a fear response to new foods and textures that she finds displeasing. I have also realized over time that she is a "super taster" and things that seem very weakly flavored to me taste very strong to her.

There are some meals where she will eat what we eat, but mainly I guess I do make her her own dinner. Protein is one area where she is extremely particular. She will only eat simply cooked chicken, eggs and some sausage. She does not eat beef at all or anything that is highly seasoned. This is one reason we make sure she eats a high protein breakfast every morning of egg and sausage and that the eggs she eats are high quality, fresh eggs and the sausage is lean, real meat sausage without soy fillers.

I personally do not find it onerous or burdensome to cook separately for her. Last night the rest of us ate a beef roast from the crockpot. She ate leftover pasta with carrots and cheese. I'm OK with that. But I appreciate that not everyone is. But I am personally not comfortable with the Satter type approach of offer one thing they like and if they choose to only eat that it is OK. Because she would choose to fill up on bread every single night and I am not OK with that, not when there are other simple meal choices that she *will* eat that are perfectly healthy.

[groundhog74]

My kids are very picky, but I really don't fight it at all. DS eats fairly healthy for breakfast or lunch but for dinner he only he will only eat hot dogs, nuggets, pizza or taquitos. I can occasionally get him to eat eggs or steak. My ped said that I really shouldn't push too hard... he sometimes pukes if we make him try things he doesn't like - not sure if it is a texture thing, it usually happens with chicken breast or turkey breast. As long as they get some dairy and some fruits/veggies, they will be okay. I do need to figure something out for DD though because she only wants to eat PB toast and taquitos. Sheesh.

[MissyAg94]

My DD isn't picky but she does sometimes refuse to eat something that I've made. I always make at least one healthy thing for each meal that I know she'll eat. She either fills up on that or waits for her next meal or snack.

[wendmatt]

DD is 7 and a very picky eater. I like stir fry, pasta with sauce etc and she just won't eat that. So she gets different from us. Sometimes it's cereal (I buy mootopia milk with protein in) but I kind of gave up on giving her what we have. It's not hard for me as she's an only and I will just prepare easy stuff for her. She was very skinny when she was little and I was not going to send her to bed hungry. I tried a few times and it just didn't work, so that's what we do, probably not the right thing but that's one thing I don't worry about any more.

[daisymommy]

My oldest DS is exactly as Beth describes, and has been his whole life.
I have tried everything under the sun with him:
-read stacks and stacks of books on children and feeding
-gone to see specialists
-Made food just for him
-refused to cook anything besides the family dinner, and that was all that was offered to him: he just flat out wouldn't eat anything from the meal that I served, went to bed hungry, crying, holding his stomach, saying it hurt, woke up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep saying his stomach hurt because he was so hungry. This went on for weeks. After a month, I took him for a check-up at the Ped's and he had lost 5 pounds in one month.

The Ped. was shocked and scared for his health at this point, and sent me to yet another nutritionist, who told me that for children like him, who are not the typical child, it was dangerous to use the old, "They'll eat when they are good and hungry" approach, because some of them won't. She has had to hospitalize children for failure to thrive, malnutrition, and stomach ulcers for this very reason.

Her advice? For children such as my son, make everything he will eat count. Just like Beth said, if they'll eat eggs, make sure they are good quality eggs, and don't be afraid to serve them daily for protein. If they are big on carbs, sneak whatever nutrition you can into muffins (pureed vegetables, whole grains, flax, whatever). He loves PB&J, so she said make sure it's all-natural peanut butter, all-fruit jam, good quality bread, and serve with whole milk. you get the idea. She also suggested V8-Fruit Fusion & fruit leather strips. I would rather he ate a real piece of fruit and vegetables, but he says they feel like worms in his mouth, and literally gags on them, ends up in tears.

She said that the majority of these kids eventually outgrown their food issues, but for most if takes years. Until then, do what you can to keep them healthy and fed.

FWIW...I know my child could benefit from OT for feeding issues. But our insurance won't pay for it, and it's crazy expensive. So for now, we're doing the best we can with it, and hope to switch to a new insurance plan that will pay come January.

[Nicsmom]

DS1 used to eat everything, and I mean all things kids normally would not like. I thought this was the result of not giving him "kids" foods. The whole family eat the same things and I never prepared something different for him. Even at restaurants, I would never order from the kid's menu. This worked like a charm until now. He is 5 and now he's starting to become a picky eater. I don't know why. I notice that most of his friends are picky eaters, and I am thinking that maybe this is partly the reason why he is refusing some foods. It may be that being the only broccoli eater is not very cool. So I really don't have any advice now that my method has been proven flawed :(

[ThreeofUs]

For children such as my son, make everything he will eat count. Just like Beth said, if they'll eat eggs, make sure they are good quality eggs, and don't be afraid to serve them daily for protein. If they are big on carbs, sneak whatever nutrition you can into muffins (pureed vegetables, whole grains, flax, whatever). He loves PB&J, so she said make sure it's all-natural peanut butter, all-fruit jam, good quality bread, and serve with whole milk. you get the idea.


We have a very picky eater, and this is what we do. And he's gaining weight with it. I do my best to keep him healthy and get a good layer of muscle on him so that (when he gets sick and won't eat), he doesn't shrink down to nothing. That's just too scary.

When I cook bland foods that I know he's okay with, though, and he decides he's not eating, he gets the "oh, I guess you'll go hungry" response. He always decides to eat at that point. Thank goodness!

I tried different approaches, too, and they just don't work for us.

[urquie]

But I am personally not comfortable with the Satter type approach of offer one thing they like and if they choose to only eat that it is OK. Because she would choose to fill up on bread every single night and I am not OK with that, not when there are other simple meal choices that she *will* eat that are perfectly healthy.


:yeahthat:

[goldenpig]

How is their growth? Are they tracking along the same curve or is it dropping off? If they're growing fine, it is very normal for toddlers/preschoolers to be "picky". They often will grow out of it. It's only a problem if they're not gaining weight or if it becomes so much of a power struggle that it becomes entrenched. BTW I second everything that daisymommy said. I think Satter has some good ideas and is fine for normal kids, but her advice doesn't work for everyone esp. if there are medical or psych issues involved.

We went through a picky eating phase when DD was 1 & 2 years old. She had silent reflux and would only eat very small amounts and was very choosy what she would eat. It got to a point where the pedi was threatening that she needed a NG tube if she didn't gain weight (!). We went through all the OT feeding evals, GI, nutrition, feeding her high fat foods, supplementing food with calorie powder, etc. I was so sick with worry and stress over her eating. Eventually, I just kind of gave up stressing so much. I was able to wean her off the meds. And she eventually got better at eating, either because her reflux went away or because she grew out of it or because I relaxed and stopped trying to push food so much.

Here are some of the things I did during that phase (I'm not sure if you're looking to fatten them up or just get them to eat a wider variety):
1. Offer high calorie, high fat foods (like yogurt, avocado, olives, mac n cheese with extra butter, butter on everything).
2. Offer new foods along with a little bit of the old familiar foods at each meal. Don't only offer the new foods and force them to eat it. It will just cause them to reject the new foods more--it's a control issue. If they only eat the old foods and want more, tell them they have to try (not finish) some of the new food first.
3. Offer new foods repeatedly (sometimes up to 10 times), but don't force them to eat it. Just looking at it or tasting it increases familiarity, even if they don't eat it.
4. Ask them to taste the food and say "If you don't like it you can spit it out". That way they're not forced to swallow something they hate and it takes the pressure off trying something new. It's OK for them to just try one bite.
5. Divided plates (Gerber Graduates or Skip Hop Palette) or bento boxes (Laptop Lunch etc) so everything has its own compartment.
6. Make food fun and visually appealing. Cookie cutters...amazing what DD will eat when it's cut into a shape. Or when she can use a toothpick to pick it up (with supervision). My mom used to make us omelettes and draw trains or other designs on it with ketchup.
7. Don't refer to the kids as picky esp when they can hear you. If you label them they will internalize it.
8. And just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they won't so don't limit your DC's food choices by what you like or don't like or what you think they will or won't like. Never say "You won't like this" if they ask to try something. You might be surprised!

:hug: It's a really hard phase to deal with, but hopefully they will grow out of it eventually.

[moonsky]

My picky eater likes this plate and has eaten a lot more than before. You just need to put a variety of food with diffrent color in there.


http://www.innobaby.com/Din-Din-Smart-Stainless-Divided-Platter_p_80.html

[kristac]

DS2 is that way. Breakfast is pretty easy (no protein though) but lunch and especially dinner are a daily frustration. I try to follow Satter division of responsibilty but I often struggle. I was a TERRIBLE eater as a child. I have already called my parents and appologised many times and begged them to remove the "I hope someday your kids are just like you" curse.
The only dinner I can get him to eat semi consistantly is pizza so we have that at least once a week but DS1 doesn't like pizza so I still have whining even on those nights. DS2 also will randomly refuse pizza or will stop eating if the cheese comes off the top and there is too much sauce showing, etc. Lunch used to be PBJ but his preschool is nut free so I had to change to sunbutter. I didn't tell him since I didn't think he would even try it if he knew so I just switched it without saying anything. The first few days we were ok but now he has stopped touching his sandwich even if we are at home and I have made it with real peanut butter. So I think I totally messed up there. :(
The thing that drives me nutty is that IF we can get him to try something he 99% of the time likes it and will eat all of his (small) serving even ask for more sometimes. But the next time the same food is presented he says he doesn't like it and won't go near it. Tonight he tried both steak and twice baked potatoes and said he liked them both. But I know not to get my hopes up that he will eat them again. He goes through phases of trying more things and then stops trying anything new all together.
I do sometimes wonder if it is sensory. PP talking about it being anxiety related has me thinking as well. I know I had alot of food anxiety when I was a child but my parents chose to make it a battle (clean plate club, used foods I didn't like as punishments, etc)- I hope that I'm not instilling that kind of fear in him. His weight/ growth are ok, though honestly I don't see how- sometimes I think the kid runs on tantrums and sunshine.

[HIU8]

DS's sensory issues carry over into food textures. He has certain items he will eat and those only. What I do is make a family dinner. DS will sometimes try new things and sometimes not. I have gotten him to try a number of new items that he will eat but not on a regular basis. If he does not want what we are eating he can have a pbj, wedding soup, hot dog, his favorite meatballs (these items are usually eaten with noodles, mustard and broccoli--except for the wedding soup). I'm ok with this b/c DS will try new things. He hates chicken and fish (but I have gotten him to eat dinasaur nuggets and chicken in a chicken and cheese quesadilla). He also will eat couscous and white rice. Oh, and his all time favorite food and his daily staple is yogurt (gogurt, yogurt drinks, yogurt in cups etc.....).

Food is not a battle in my house b/c I understand DS's issues much better and can slowly introduce things as he matures and handles some of the sensory stuff better. he actually eats more of a variety of things than some of my friends kids without sensory issues.

[DietCokeLover]

Neither of my DC are underweight, but I am just very concerned about their nutrition. They won't eat any vegetables (unless you count french fries). They also won't eat fruit except banana for Ds and applesauce for DD. They won't touch a gummy fruit or a roll up. So, it's also hard to get a vitamin in them as most are gummy somethings. (they've NEVER had one).

We literally have a rotation of maybe 8 foods that we can use with them for all meals. And very little of it have any serious nutritional value. I'm just at a loss. They can't even be bribed to try anything new!

I appreciate all of you sharing your stories and experiences. I'm going to continue to try and introduce new things. I'm just not sure how to get them to even taste things that I am confident they would like if they would just give it a try.

[HIU8]

What about giving them fruitables to drink (at least it has a serving of fruit and veggies in it) or v8 fusion (which is fruit and veggie juice as well. It's not ideal, but my kids LOVE it and esp for DS with a limited list of foods it works.

Oh, I forgot to mention. For at least a year or longer DS drank pediasure. That was at a time when he had I think 3 foods he ate and NOTHING else. We gave him this once a day on the recommendation of our pediatrician to get balanced nutrition into him. Once he started eating a few more foods we stopped this (but it we used it for a period of 18 months to 2 years). Now, DS was at 5% for weight and 75% for height. The ped said he wasn't going to worry unless DS dropped off the charts and stayed there for weight (he didn't, but he has been consistent at 10% and really no higher for awhile now).

[Tanya]

It drives me crazy. My oldest has always been a pretty good eater. She'll eat a variety of things. She's actually gotten a bit worse in the last couple years probably because I now let her buy kids' meals and she sometimes buys lunches at schools....so, can we say chicken nuggets? She's 7.

My just turned 4 year old is a nightmare. For some reason, just the word "dinner" sets her off. She'll throw herself on the floor screaming how she doesn't want what I fixed. Even if I know it's something she has eaten before!

Anyway, I certainly wouldn't say we have a solution to the problem.

If I know the kids don't like something I'm fixing, I might ask them to try it (going with the theory that if a person tries something 10 times or whatever, they might develop a taste for it), but I typically fix them something else. If it's something I know they'll eat and LIKE, I expect them to eat it or I'm not fixing anything else and they certainly aren't getting any sweets/desserts. If it's just something that I know they've eaten before, but not crazy about, I expect them to try everything. I try to stick to veggies they'll eat without gagging (corn, green beans, broccoli, raw carrots). I know the oldest will eat a large helping without problems, but for the younger one, I just give her 3-4 bites that I expect her to eat. My oldest will eat just about any kind of bean, but I know the youngest won't. So, I might have her try one bean. I've had them try new veggies, but I don't push them to eat them if they don't like them. Sometimes I'll wait awhile and have them try them again.

I do have the youngest help with food preparation. Sometimes she gets excited about trying what we fixed, but then she usually has a meltdown when it's actually time to eat.

I wouldn't say my kids ever go to bed hungry though. They might not get sweets before bed, but they get some decent food in them with our system. Usually, once they try something I know they've liked before, they'll eventually end up eating it. Sometimes they may only get a little bit of something, but it's something.

Last night, my 4 year old swore up and down that she didn't want pork chops. I make a Russian dressing that they dip the meat in and they do like/love it. I also had green beans which is one of the easier veggies to get my little one to eat typically. Anyway, she insisted that she doesn't like pork chops, but from experience, I can sometimes just rename something and she'll eat it. So, I did my "abracadabra" and turned her pork chop pieces into "swine surprise" (which I've also used for ham and sausage before). It took her awhile to get over her fit, but then she ate all she had on her plate and asked for more...too bad for her that she took so long and her sister had already had 3-4 helpings and finished it off.

[Green_Tea]

I am relieved to read these responses. If I played the "it's this or nothing" card, my kids would go to bed hungry several nights a week. I think Satter seriously underestimates the will power of the picky eater. I have never bought into her theories about me choosing the options and my kids choosing what to eat from those options. My children have been know to turn down three meals in a row if they do not like what's being served.

There are a few things that my kids will eat under most circumstances: oatmeal, cheese and crackers (2 out of 3 kids), PB sandwiches (DS only), bananas (DS only), apples and carrots (DD2 only), mac and cheese (DD1 and DS), hotdogs (all three kids will eat them - I buy organic, nitrate free ones), chicken nuggets. I freely admit to catering to their tastes because I have learned the hard way that they simply will not eat most anything else, and they will be up at 4 am complaining of hunger.

You know what? They're growing. They have energy. They are smart and active. They're HEALTHY. They each take a multivitamin each day, which hopefully helps fill in the gaps. I think that you'd have a hard time picking them out from a crowd of kids who eat their veggies and protein. I am hopeful that they will grow to like a variety of foods, but in the meantime I refuse to battle daily about food choices and pay the price of sending hungry children to bed. I don't give a rat's a$$ what Satter thinks - it's simply not worth it.

[1964pandora]

I could have written all of your posts! My 6 year old DS is growing well, but he has a pretty limited diet. No meat, no cheese, no nuts or nut butter. He eats broccoli, the occasional green bean and a bite of carrot here and there. On the positive side, he will eat almost any fruit, but oddly hates bananas. I can get those in smoothies, though. For protein, we have to do bean burritos, milk, yogurt in smoothies and scrambled eggs. He'll also eat the white of a hard boiled egg. For iron, I have to do tahini in homemade hummus with OJ for absorption.

I've read tons of how to deal with a picky eater books/articles. Satter doesn't work for me except for the idea that I shouldn't push him to eat things. I could certainly never succeed with the old, "they'll eat if they're hungry enough" strategy. He really can't consume things he hates. He really just can't. I can be a total hard-ass and no one has ever accused me of being a push over. Even I don't have the heart to make this kid eat things he doesn't like by making him hungry and only offering him what the rest of the family is eating.

As for what we do to deal with this, I serve what he eats and also offer him new things. We recently had a huge, huge breakthrough and he said he liked some cheese on some pizzas. I can't tell you what a huge deal that is. The kid has always taken all of his cheese off his pizza.

We live with it and do the best we can to get nutrients in. We have a smoothie on most days and I sneak a lot into that. I make sure he's hungry at meal time. It's easier if I don't freak out and try some new crack down. Easy does it, works best for him and me.

[HannaAddict]

I would really try to relax about the food choices as much as you can, since it seem (as indicated by the number of posts on this, the amount of time parents spend discussing it, the books on it, etc.) to be normal for children. It won't resign a child to a lifetime of only eating noodles plain or Cheerios. I would not send my children to bed hungry because they won't eat what I've cooked. That seems counterproductive. That said, we are very, very relaxed about food and just try to offer good choices for the most part. My oldest is not picky, tries things, etc., my second child is also pretty good but does decide she doesn't like something and is my "carb girl" and would live on bread and butter if we let her, at least she would give it a try! If she doesn't eat, we will eventually let her have Cheerios or something similar for dinner. We are lucky in that both of them love vegetables and fruit and will ask for "pu pu platter" which around here consists of either a large appetizer tray filled with sugar snap peas, cherry tomatoes, carrots, bell peppers of some color sliced, maybe apples, and a few black olives for a special treat or some cheddar cheese. They devour this almost every night before dinner. We just started offering sliced veggies when the oldest was little and they eat healthier than us on that front, and are better at eating veggies than my husband who remembers food battles with his parents. My mom did not pressure us, but my choices were limited to non-processed stuff mostly because of our budget! Good luck.

[kcandz]

I am relieved to read these responses. If I played the "it's this or nothing" card, my kids would go to bed hungry several nights a week. I think Satter seriously underestimates the will power of the picky eater. I have never bought into her theories about me choosing the options and my kids choosing what to eat from those options. My children have been know to turn down three meals in a row if they do not like what's being served.

Yeah that - has anyone successfully done the Satter approach and come out the other side with a strong eater? My DC also would eat just bread for a meal.

[inmypjs]

I have read Satter's stuff, though it's been awhile, and it has worked very well for us. What I mostly took from her books is not the "it's this or nothing" stuff - but that I need to let my children manage their own eating. That has been very helpful to me. I feel pretty good about my kids' eating. Sometimes days they eat very well, sometimes not. But I don't worry about it much. My kids have turned down a meal or two before. But then they have to deal with the consequences of that. Maybe that sounds harsh - but in my mind it's like natural consequences. And there is always food they like and accept at every meal - maybe not everything, but some.

To the original poster, one of the things that struck me about your post is that you talk about being frustrated because you can't "feed your kids". Hugs! You are not a bad mom! IMHO, you are assuming too much responsibility. This is where I think Satter is right on - it really does have to be up to them to eat. You can't be responsible for that.

I truly don't think it's a problem to serve mostly foods they eat and accept at mealtime. I would look at expanding that as a longer-term goal. When you want to, you can try adding new or previously rejected foods - maybe just 1 per meal.

One thing that I think helps too is not to do any verbal commentary on what your child eats from their plate and how much they eat. This would include not saying things like - come on, you've got eat, you'll get hungry later, you used to like this, please, just 2 more bites, giving rewards for eating, etc. This is pretty much the definition of not letting your kids manage their own eating. It just becomes a big power struggle, and eating becomes a way for them to exercise control.

I would focus all verbal comments on their mealtime behavior and manners. Even if there are some things on their plate they don't like or prefer, they need to deal with that politely. At our house, the kids can say "I don't like that" or "No thank you" but they aren't allowed to carry on about it, or say things like "yuck, ew, gross" etc. Our rules focus on coming to the table and being polite, not on how much they eat.

I don't know if this is too much Satter to be helpful or not, but it really has worked for us. Good luck and I do hope things get better!

(Edited for spelling!)

[kijip]

Yeah that - has anyone successfully done the Satter approach and come out the other side with a strong eater? My DC also would eat just bread for a meal.

We did/do. It's been fine. My older son is moderately picky. We aim for 2 things I know he will eat but I will change it slightly, like adding sauce to pasta. We involve him in growing a little of the food and in cooking food now (he is up to making eggs now for example!) and that helps a lot. Once a week or so, I let him decide what we will cook for dinner. His veggie list is fairly narrow, but it's been expanding and he is great with whole grains, low sugar, all kinds of meat, every fruit etc.

I don't think Satter is a bullet proof plan for every child but I do think there is a lot of good there. For example, my son will not drink soda or much candy, because of preference. He will not infrequently decline dessert or a sweet treat because he is not hungry or he says things like "nah, I had a piece of cake with lunch, so that would be too much". We never have made dessert contingent on eating dinner. His body does a good job of getting what it needs. I do think it works best from a young age. If bread is all he would eat if it was there, then it just wasn't there for a bit. Forces a different choice. We went to a class on babies and food with Ann Keppler when F was a little baby and it reinforced a lot of the stuff we read in Satter years ago.

[mousemom]

Yeah that - has anyone successfully done the Satter approach and come out the other side with a strong eater? My DC also would eat just bread for a meal.

Just wanted to chime in and say that yes, Satter's approach does help some people. So far at least, that idea of the division of responsibility has worked well for us. Sure a particular meal may not be balanced, but over the course of a week DS eats a varied diet. And meal times are pleasant, since we are not worrying or trying to force him to eat something. Similarly, he decides for himself when he has had enough.

However, every child is different and no one approach works for everybody. OP, I'm sorry I don't have any specific advice for you, but please know that you are not a horrible mother. You are clearly trying very hard to give your children the best diet possible. I hope you find some ideas that help you!

[Puddy73]

I agree with the approach suggested by Amy & Beth: feed them the healthiest version of things that they like. After much screaming and tears at the table, I decided that it just was not good for any of us to take the "eat it or else" approach. DS is mildly autistic and has enough challenges with starting Pre-K that I don't want to make mealtimes miserable. He takes a good vitamin and sometimes an Omega-3 supplement. I don't cook a totally separate meal for him at dinner time, but I do make sure that there is at least one part of the meal that he likes, even if its just bread.

[brittone2]

I have never read Satter in full, but I like the gist of what she says. We've always done our own version (my kids are not particularly picky...picky phases, yes, but overall not particularly picky).

I think the takeaway point for me was always the division of responsibility. We also just try not to reward w/ food or make dessert contingent upon eating dinner for example.

Having worked with kids on the spectrum and or with SPD, I do not think Satter's approach is meant to fit every type of "picky" behavior.

[gatorsmom]

I've been watching this thread and agree with those that say- feed them the healthiest version you can find of stuff they like. I use to swear up and down that I wouldn't make separate meals and they'd eat what I made. But I have 5 picky eaters (including DH) and I've found that I like peace in our house at dinner time so I've given up on being strict and go with the flow. Sometimes I'll make them what they ask for, sometimes I'll ask them to eat what I've made for dinner or they can put together their own meal. I don't make them eat anything, although I do push them to try things before saying they don't like it. Sometimes then they'll change their mind and say they like it after all, sometimes not.

I find if I try hard to keep unhealthy, junky food out of the house and instead keep healthy fruits and vegetables, healthy yogurts and cheeses, whole grain breads around and try to minimize the processed food (or get organic or processed foods with less chemicals), then they'll eventually have to eat something healthy whatever that turns out to be. :shrug:

[DietCokeLover]

Ok, I guess I am hearing that I need to first - give myself a break. And second - try to make what they will eat as healthy as I can.

So, as I am typing, I am baking a "banana bread" with banana, zucchini, wheat germ and whole wheat flour. They'll eat the carbs, so I'll sneak some other stuff in as I am able.

Thanks for sharing your stories and experiences. Being the mother of an "eating challenged" child, is maddening at times. I appreciate knowing I'm not alone. (My BFF has children that come up to her and request broccoli and spinach instead of a cookie. I just can't even relate to that! ha)

[wendibird22]

I have had some success with muffin tin meals. We don't do them all the time...maybe once a week. I find DD1 eats more because it's new, it's fun, and it's small amounts of a variety of things. She's not overwhelmed by the portions. I take a 6 piece muffin tin and put a variety of things in the different spaces...meat, cheese, veggies, dip, applesauce, cottage cheese, hummus, fruit, dried fruit, a small treat, etc. Often some of it is what DH and I are eating for dinner and then supplimented with a few things I know she'll eat. I tried to do it on a night where I know she most likely wouldn't eat what DH and I are having so that she'll at least try a bite of what we have and then also know that there are a few other things on her "plate."

[alexsmommy]

but oddly hates bananas. I can get those in smoothies, though.

I hate eating banans in their natural state. It's a texture/smell issue for me. I have no problem with them in smoothies if it's not the predominant flavor and I like fried plaintains. So maybe that's the deal for you DC too? I'm the same way with tomatoes - chopped up fine, cooked, sun-dried all fine. Cut up in my salad - blech!

[blondflava]

Picky eating... I have a toddler (17 months) but have to contribute, as we are heading that way.. DD has always had issues with eating, to the point they suggested feeding tubes and such when she wouldn't eat to gain enough. But we had serious issues since birth (a preemie), milk allergies, reflux issues, aversion to bottles, now texture issues - a lot of throwing up with chunks etc. DD is on a Pediasure/oatmeal diet, that's all she eats (sometimes a little mashed potatoes or pasta sauce), and an occasional Gerber puff here and there. It's enough for her to gain so we're trying to get her on the charts, then we'll start experimenting with new foods - I'm dreadin it already.... I was a picky eater but nothing like that (chronic), I wouldn't eat nothing but bread with Nutella as a kid, no dinners, no lunch, no 'normal' food, up to age 10-12? To the point they'd take dinner ina container out to playground with me, I'd not just sit at the table and eat... I outgrew it, so there is hope, Ladies!
I think they all outgrow it, might take a while, but I don't know a 'picky' adult LOL, no advice here, just a lot of hugs, I know how it feels...

ETA, even spite of not eating all the nutritious stuff and being a rail skinny most of my childhood and adolescence, I'm a healthy adult now...