How do I tell my BFF

[HIU8]

That her 2 yr old cannot participate in DS's bday party. the place we are having it allows kids 3 and older to use the moon bounces (it's a bounce party). Her DD is 2.5. Does she lie when they go in? I certainly don't want that on my head. FWIW, we can have a total of 20 kids. If everyone comes there will be 1 6 yr old, 7 5 yr olds, 1 4 yr old, 1 3 yr old for a total of 10 kids. I'm going to write on the invites "cannot accomodate siblings" since DS is in a new school and I don't know the families yet (although I know 1 child has an older brother and sister and 1 child has a younger brother). I certainly don't want those parents to know that I allowed a sibling to come if I said their's could not. BUT, this is my BFF. What to do?

I have half a mind to plan the party the weekend I know my BFF will be away and not have to deal with the issue at all (DS's bday is Tgiving and she goes away from the sunday prior to the sunday after). I could plan for the Sunday prior and just say that is the only date the place still had open.

[sarahsthreads]

Does your BFF have a child who *can* participate in your DS's birthday party? Or does she just have the 2.5 year old?

If we were invited to a good friend's child's party (i.e. one where we'd normally all be invited, not just DD1) and it was in a venue where only kids ages 3+ could participate, I wouldn't be offended that DD2 couldn't go. We'd either split up so one of us took DD1 and the other did something fun with DD2, or I'd just drop DD1 off. Do you think your friend is going to be really upset that you're not planning your 6 year old's birthday party to accomodate her 2.5 year old?

I'd just tell her that the place you're having it only allows kids 3 and up - it's really less about not accomodating siblings so much as your DS having an older kid birthday party that's just not appropriate for a 2 year old. (Which is perfectly fair and normal.)

Sarah :)

[MamaMolly]

Tell her the bounce house rules only allow 3 and up, and that there will be a lot of bigger kids there, bouncing. I get wigged out about bounce places when there is a pile of really big kids on them.

[Globetrotter]

Blame it on the facility and their rules.

[hwin708]

First of all, I don't think the other parents would mind if the child of your BFF is there, regardless of if she is technically a "sibling." She's not there as a sibling. She's there as part of your circle of close friends and family.

However, if the issue is just that you don't want a child that young there - then just tell her the truth. The facility does not allow 2.5 year olds in the bounce house, they're strict about it, so the 2.5 year old can't really come.

I guess I'm not really seeing the problem. This isn't like another school mom, where you have to try to be polite without oversharing. This is your friend. You can talk to her freely.

[TwinFoxes]

Tell her the bounce house rules only allow 3 and up, and that there will be a lot of bigger kids there, bouncing. I get wigged out about bounce places when there is a pile of really big kids on them.




I guess I'm not really seeing the problem. This isn't like another school mom, where you have to try to be polite without oversharing. This is your friend. You can talk to her freely.

:yeahthat: To both. I wouldn't lie to my BFF about it, or plan a party when I knew BFF couldn't come. I'd rather just tell her. It's not like you have any control over the rules. And as mom of just over 2 year olds, I wouldn't want them smashed by the bigger kids.

[set81616]

Check the place out. DS has been to 2 bounce places and they have a toddler area gated off for the little ones. It's still one big room. Younger siblings have also been in the bounce stuff WITH an adult. There were employees there the whole time and no one said no. Maybe an option.
Shannon

[HIU8]

Yes, her 5 yr old is my DS's best friend.

[HIU8]

This is a big sports place with indoor games such as soccer etc... There is no gated place for younger children (we have been to 5 bday parties there in 2 years already). Ad adult can go into the bounce area but not on the bounce equipment, that much I am aware of.

Still on the fence as to what to do. BFF will be devistated that her little one can't be there. I'm not changing the party venue for this one child (this was DS's first choice for a party place and it's very affordable). Maybe I can have BFF's DH take my DD and his DD to play the video games and watch the soccer games while the bouncing is going on (hopefully my DD will not want to bounce--YEAH, right).

[cvanbrunt]

Why not just present it as a choice to your friend? Just tell her that her DC won't be able to bounce but she is welcome to do other activities with her kiddo until it is time for cake. Of course, if she doesn't want to do that, you would most certainly understand, blah, blah, blah......

[HIU8]

This is the direction I'm headed.

Ok, another question. Do a lot people who go out of town for Thanksgiving leave the weekend prior? DS's bday is tgiving weekend and I have normally done a party the following weekend. We cannot do that this year. My options are the second or third weekend in November. I would like to do it as close to DS's bday as I can, so I was leaning towards the weekend of November 21st. We don't go out of town for tgiving b/c people come to us instead. Is that a big travel weekend?

[amldaley]

You have so many other good suggestions here....I could "yeah that" to most of them.

We had this issue come up just a few weeks ago for DD's 2nd Bday. We rented a bounce house for our yard and I made a point of specifically only invite other kids ages 18 mos - 3 years and told the parents how fun it would be for the kids to be in a bounce house where they would normally get trampled. Everyone totally seemed to get it.

As for having a party at a place where you pay a fee and which has rules...I would address it, even if DH thinks it is tacky. It prevents a far more akward situation when people show up with 3 siblings in tow that you now have to feed.

I guess when I see those invites, I always assume it just means DD, b/c those places usually either have a max number of participants or you pay per person, etc. But I do think it should be addressed if this is an issue for you.

[amldaley]

This is the direction I'm headed.

Ok, another question. Do a lot people who go out of town for Thanksgiving leave the weekend prior? DS's bday is tgiving weekend and I have normally done a party the following weekend. We cannot do that this year. My options are the second or third weekend in November. I would like to do it as close to DS's bday as I can, so I was leaning towards the weekend of November 21st. We don't go out of town for tgiving b/c people come to us instead. Is that a big travel weekend?

Well, if the day before Thanksgiving is the busiest travel day of the year, I would have to think the weekend before would be, too.

I would base it on your local school schedule to see when they break. If school is in session that week, most people will be local the preceeding weekend.

Also, depends on where you live. Small town where lots of folks live local to their families? Metro area where everyone is from somewhere else? Military town where holidays = traveling "home"?

[chlobo]

What if you told her you were sorry but her child can't come but you wanted to plan an outing with just your kids to celebrate DS's birthday? Something special.

[Beth24]

This is the direction I'm headed.

Ok, another question. Do a lot people who go out of town for Thanksgiving leave the weekend prior? DS's bday is tgiving weekend and I have normally done a party the following weekend. We cannot do that this year. My options are the second or third weekend in November. I would like to do it as close to DS's bday as I can, so I was leaning towards the weekend of November 21st. We don't go out of town for tgiving b/c people come to us instead. Is that a big travel weekend?

I think people are more likely to be out of town the weekend after Thanksgiving Day than the weekend before.

[HIU8]

Hey, I like that idea. Thanks. We are going to Port Discovery with them the next weekend. We always go to the MD Science Museum that weekend, but we altered this year. It's $1 admission to museum's in Baltimore that weekend and Port Discovery only does it on Sunday (this would not be an issue for the bday party except that we don't do bday parties on Saturday's). We could make that trip a special one with them for DS's bday.