More pity for me - great

[mamicka]

So I've posted before about people making comments about me not having a daughter. I know people get it going both ways so many of you can relate.

But this is a first. This same woman has made comments before, but never this vehemently. After very awkwardly asking when we'll be trying for a girl again (DS4 is only 6.5 weeks old!) despite the fact that we've NEVER tried for a girl & me responding that we're done so we won't be having a girl ever & then (again) politely explaining that I don't feel bad about it... she gets in my face & with this really creepy look on her face tells me that I will most certainly care when I'm 75 - girls "have such a different perspective on life" & I'll feel bad that I don't have that, really bad. I was literally speechless. ("different perspective on life" - what does this even mean?)

Afterwards I thought about formulating a response referrencing my husbands sperm & our sexual habits (also mentioning my vagina) & perhaps asking for her advice in that regard in order to "get a girl". But in hindsight I'm glad that I don't have such a quit wit because I don't think the fellowship hall at church is the appropriate place for that discussion. Plus it wouldn't be very nice.

Seriously, it's like she won't be satisfied until I tell her that I cry myself to sleep at night distraught over the daughter I'll never have. If I thought I could be convincing I'd fake it just to get her off my back but I don't think I could. Sorry, lady - my boys are the bees knees & I couldn't be happier about their gender.

[Smillow]

Next time just mumble "Lizzie Borden"....:p

[♥ms.pacman♥]

wow. sorry u had to deal with such persistent rude comments. well, it sounds like that lady prolly has some major issues in her life and one way of making herself feel better is trying to make others feel bad/deprived. maybe she never had a son and secretly wanted one, or she had one and they have a bad relationship or whatever, and she's just jealous of you for being happy with your boys.

[buddyleebaby]

People are just weird.
I had DS with me in the supermarket the other day while the older two were at school and a older woman came up, asked how old he was, said how cute he was, and then looked me straight in the eye and said very sternly "This is when they are good. Then they grow up and break your heart. It's only a matter of time before they destroy you." Then she walked away.

Seriously??????

[mommylamb]

Well, that woman may not raise her sons to be caring, loving people, but I'm sure you will.

[gatorsmom]

Ugh, sorry that lady was so annoying. She was probably just very lonely and socially inept. Wanted to talk to someone and didn't know anything nice to say.

If she approaches you again you could say you are looking forward to the four daughters you'll have when your sons get married! (and if she carries on tell her to read the bible story about Ruth and Naomi. You're in a church, you can do that. :) )

[LadyPeter]

People are just weird.
I had DS with me in the supermarket the other day while the older two were at school and a older woman came up, asked how old he was, said how cute he was, and then looked me straight in the eye and said very sternly "This is when they are good. Then they grow up and break your heart. It's only a matter of time before they destroy you." Then she walked away. Seriously??????

I had this too! I'm hugely pregnant and I had a total stranger say "If I'd known how children would destroy my life, I would have kept my legs together." THANKS FOR SHARING, PSYCHO.

OP, I'm sorry that lady was so weird. I'm gonna guess she's dealing with her own issues and projecting them onto you.

[liz]

People are just weird.
I had DS with me in the supermarket the other day while the older two were at school and a older woman came up, asked how old he was, said how cute he was, and then looked me straight in the eye and said very sternly "This is when they are good. Then they grow up and break your heart. It's only a matter of time before they destroy you." Then she walked away.

Seriously??????


I had this too! I'm hugely pregnant and I had a total stranger say "If I'd known how children would destroy my life, I would have kept my legs together." THANKS FOR SHARING, PSYCHO.

OP, I'm sorry that lady was so weird. I'm gonna guess she's dealing with her own issues and projecting them onto you.

:47: Wow. That's terrible.

[ThreeofUs]

Hugs. No advice, just hugs. You're a much better person that I am; I'm sure I would have said something terribly inappropriate.

[Tondi G]

As a mommy to boys I am with you.... my boys are the bees knees and that lady is missing out if she thinks otherwise. Sure we would have loved a little girl but honestly I can't imagine life with daughters.... I'm a "Boys" mom!

I have a friend who has 3 boys and they get the comments all the time. They "tried" for a girl 2 times (#3 was unplanned) and they got 3 boys out of the deal. You get what you get!

If she says something to you again you should just say ... hey I learn in Preschool "you get what you get and you don't get upset!" That lady needs to get some manners.

[elliput]

I'm so sorry you had to listen to the rantings of an moron. Obviously, she thinks only biological girl children are acceptable which is extraordinarily short sighted. You happen to be lucky enough to have the chance of having 4 fabulous daughters-in-law in addition to your wonderful boys.

[lovebebes]

Ugh, what a witch. You really should have some sort of a story about how you had a girl and actually gave her away because you liked boys better:ROTFLMAO: then walk off leaving them feeling so stupid.

We have two girls and Im pregnant and everywhere we go all I hear is "that one's a boy!" "finally a little brother huh?" "you guys are keeping on trying,great!".

it makes me want to :30:

[icunurse]

I don't get people like her at all. There seems to be some sort of societal obsession about having a girl and yikes if you don't believe in it. I;d drop it, but if she pushes again, I;m sorry, but I would have to push back a bit. When people say how "bad" adult boys are, I tell them that my hubby is pretty darn great and it's all in how you raise them :)

FWIW, I always dreamed of a houseful of BOYS. I am completely thrown off by having a DD (I am a huge tomboy), but I guess I shouldn't be since I get people telling me all the time how I am so lucky and how now I can be done because I have one of each (no, we are probably done because of adoption fees -so out of my control). Heck, some days with a difficult DD, I still dream of a houseful of boys ;) I think you are very lucky to have 4 wonderful boys!

[JBaxter]

OK ... whip this one on her

God had granted me these wonderful boys who are healthy and strong Who am I to question his will in gifting me these sons to raise for him.


;)

:D 4 boys back at ya

[kijip]

Borrow a line from Rachel Lynde from the first Anne book. Tell her girls are the ones that put strychnine in the well.

[Fairy]

Send her to me, I'll give her plenty of real quick wit. What kind of idiot gets in someone else's face about their personal procreation in such a way? Horrible. ((( Hugs ))).

Wait, I've got one for you! Is this an older woman? 75, herself, perhaps? Tell her, ya know, some people just don't get good luck in life and end up raising rotten kids. But I'm so blessed to not only have four wonderful little boys that i wouldn't trade for a girl, but to have a peace and confidence that my older years will be perfectly fulfilled, thank you. And please mind your own business.

[MamaSnoo]

I am sorry that she has persistently been so mean to you. She sounds like a miserable human being.

I have no wit for you, but lately my approach it utter honesty:

"It is incredibly rude and hateful of you to say such things to me. Let's never discuss this again."

I think the response from PP about raising your boys as a gift from God is probably kinder, though....

[ncat]

We always get annoying comments (from the time we knew DS would be a boy) about how wonderful it is that we have one of each and are done.

We're not sure about being done - and I have no idea why total strangers would think we are. Also, I really wanted DS to be a girl - I did not want one of each.

You can't win. People will make obnoxious comments no matter what genders your children are.

[arivecchi]

Well, that woman may not raise her sons to be caring, loving people, but I'm sure you will.
:yeahthat: What a dummy.

[Fairy]

I get the comments, too. "Oh, too bad you're letting DS be an only child." People sometimes just don't have tact.

[KrisM]

I don't get why 1 boy and 1 girl equal the perfect family to so many. And, I sure don't get why they need to impose those thoughts on everyone else.

I had a boy and then a girl and then got rude comments when I was pregnant with DS2. Why could I possibly want another child when I already had a boy and a girl?

You really can't win. If you had had all girls, the comments would be about your husband needing to have a boy.

I have no witty remarks, but like some of the others!

[MamaMolly]

I wonder what her own mother would have to say about HER.