Do you lend stuff out?

[SpaceGal]

This probably might be seem like a BP thread but I was just curious the general consensus.

I lent a friend of mine my GPS for her road trip. Granted I don't use it on an everyday basis like my DH does but I like having it. Of course they are back and no word on whether I will be seeing my GPS anytime soon. The track record for this friend is for them to hold on to stuff till we ask....and I mean it could be like 1-2 years later and then they will have lost it or misplaced and will buy a new one to replace (my Twilight books for example). In any case, DH is way annoyed and says they better return it by the weeks end...and I'm like don't hold your breath. Generally when I borrow stuff I return within a reasonable time frame...I don't like to hold things for long and what not.

Do you lend stuff? Do you find that more people return within a given amount of reasonable time? Or do you find yourself asking for your things back...which I find is annoying and feel like being a nice friend and lending stuff out comes to bite you in the ass and makes you angry when some people just don't seem to make it a priority to return your things. Or am I at fault and should I be asking for my things back...or giving like a date for return (like a library does)?

[Melaine]

I feel exactly as you do. We have been trying to get several seasons of tv shows back from a friend for a couple years. One time I actually went to her house and asked for them and when I was leaving she said her DD was asleep in the room where they were so she couldn't get them.....I will not lend to them ever again. And, yeah, too many situations like that have made me want to not lend things at all.

Yeah, I feel like if you are going to borrow something I should NOT have to ask for it back. And certainly should not have to ask multiple times.

[BillK]

I've loaned my brother in law my sawzall, jigsaw and a few other tools but he's always been good about returning them.

[bubbaray]

I don't generally lend stuff.

In your circumstances, I'd have your DH call and ask for it back ASAP.

[edurnemk]

I don't like to lend stuff, so I avoid it as much as I can. Other than one or 2 people who I know will return thing ASAP, most people tend to forget or whatever. I've lost several books, my roller skates, a sweater, etc. this way. So I decided I would not lend anything to most people.

So I usually don't offer to lend things, and if someone asks directly I try to change the subject or make and excuse because I feel bad saying no directly.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I've never had a friend that holds onto stuff, but I have two now. Wow, it's annoying! Makes me wonder if I've been good about returning stuff before. Now I will be..

Hey, tell her you need it back b/c you just read about something cool... We don't have one, but DH always wanted to get one and try loading the good yard sale addresses into it from Craigslist the night before. He says I could be more efficient that way. You've GOT to try it this week!

[SpaceGal]

So I usually don't offer to lend things, and if someone asks directly I try to change the subject or make and excuse because I feel bad saying no directly.

Yeah this is my other problem I have a hard time saying no...but I'm terrible at lying or dodging the topic.

[nfowife]

I would just shoot her an email saying you hope she had a great time and the GPS was useful, can you meet up in the next day or 2 to get it back?
No big deal.

[melonpan]

just ask for it back, just like nfowife suggests. i like being direct.

[khm]

Totally just say "hey I need the GPS, let's meet at XYZ" or whatever.

Books, I basically write off books that I lend out. If I get them back, yeah! If not, I expected it. If it's a special book or series, I'll just either not lend it or make a point that "my mom wants to read it next" so I have a reason to retrieve it.

[sste]

Yes, but usually when I am hoping it never comes back!!

In my circle of friends, it is very common to pass on things like books, dvds, baby items in a kind of loose lend/give context (what it amounts to is I would like you to keep this unless I need it back but if you don't still have it when I need it back I won't be heartbroken). Most of my friends live in expensive areas where space is at a premium and unless it is a favorite book or dvd or a sentimental item . . . well, it is just clutter waiting to happen.

So, maybe that is part of the problem some of you are experiencing - - you are lending to people who assume it is a sort of perma-loan. You may have already tried this but you might need to say explicitly, "I can lend you this but I am attached to or often use this item so I need it back at the end of the month." If someone doesn't respect that . . . well, that is rude.

[vonfirmath]

I'd ask for your GPS back.

[Green_Tea]

I'd just call her and tell her you need it back. No biggie. If I borrow something from a friend, I don't make a special trip to drop it back off to them unless they have told me they need it by a specific date or time. I just hold onto whatever I borrowed until I see them next. A GPS I might make a point of returning sooner, but she's probably completely unaware that you're tapping your foot waiting. Just call her.

[Binkandabee]

I'm pretty stingy when it comes to my stuff and I always have been...so I generally don't loan things out. I will loan things out to my family but with them, I have no problems asking for the item back or just walking into their house and taking it back myself so they don't really count. On the flip side...I also don't borrow things. I do however GIVE lots and lots of things away!

I'd just ask your friend for the GPS...no biggie...it probably just slipped her mind!

[DebbieJ]

I have one friend that I will never loan anything to again. She currently has one of my dresses and one of our Wii games and I need to ask for them, but I'm kind of avoiding her right now (I'm pulling away from our friendship) and I'm just not ready to face her.

Otherwise, I'm happy to lend out things and I keep a list on a white board in my office to make sure I get them back.

[niccig]

Otherwise, I'm happy to lend out things and I keep a list on a white board in my office to make sure I get them back.

Good idea. I need a list or I forget who has what. I don't lend too much now, I do get them back but I have a couple of friends that trash/damage the item. It annoys me when I get something back and it's not working or damaged more than usual wear and tear. If I don't want it, you can have it, eitherwise I don't lend out anything I would be worried about.

In case of the GPS, I would call. Tell her you need to get it back so you can use it and set up a time to get it. That's not a book you can write off - it's expensive and useful for you to have.

[Asianmommy]

I generally don't lend out anything that I definitely need back. So, I lend out books that I've read that I will likely never read again, but I do not lend out expensive electronics equipment that I still want to use. I learned my lesson in college when I lent a friend my walkman and she never returned it until I went to ask for it & found that it had been cracked & damaged.

[pb&j]

Why would you loan something to someone with such a miserable track record?

I would bother her every day from now until she returns it, and then not loan her anything in the future. It's perfectly appropriate to clearly state that you'd like your GPS back asap, without giving any other reason than you own it.

[BabyMine]

I never lend stuff I would want back.

[SpaceGal]

Why would you loan something to someone with such a miserable track record?

I loaned it to her cuz she asked...and told that they didn't quite have the money to get one for themselves. She also noticed that we had three...(two are DH's and one is mine). The two that are DH's I don't dare loan out and what not since those are his work ones and what not. As for mine she asked and I felt bad so told her she could borrow it. It bugs me that they live around the corner from me...not far at all! It just peeves me that I have to ask for stuff back from her. I mean I get the books and DVD thing....I have lent her books and stuff...and hinted and hinted I needed it back...I know she lent it to her sister, her mother etc...but it's a book so I didn't really care. I kick myself because I don't like to say no to a person I feel I can help out. I know I will end up calling her to ask for it back and heck I may have to go get it myself...it just annoys me. And I wondered if I was being ridiculous. I have other friends that I don't mind loaning things to at all cuz they make it a point to give it back....*sigh* no more lending out...especially to those that I feel don't get stuff back to me.

[salsah]

i don't mind lending stuff out, but i hate borrowing things. i hate the responsibility. i feel that if you borrow something, you have to care for it better than you would your own, and definately return it promptly. i also fear something, through no fault of my own, could happen it and then i would need to replce it. so i don't borrow anything that i can't replace (either because it is irreplaceable or too expensive).

in your case, given their track record and their inability to buy a replacement should something happen, i would ask them for it back. i don't like asking people for stuff back, but i think you need to. just let them know that you need it too.

i recently had a bad expereince where i lent someone a car seat, they didn't return it when they were done with it, then decided to take it on trip (w/o telling me), and then lent it to someone I don't know (also w/o telling me), and then lost it. i wouldn't have known about it if I didn't need it and ask for it back. moral of the story: get your gps back asap!

[Globetrotter]

SaY "I need the GPS. When is a good time for me to come and get it?"

If this friend doesn't return things, I would avoid loaning important stuff to her in the future.

[Babymakes3]

I would definitely get hold of her and tell her you will be in need of your gps in a few days and can you come get it or meet up somewhere.

I recently decided that I won't be loaning anything anywhere because the last 3 times I did I ended up taking it to them then having to go pick it up and one of the things I still don't have back bc she keeps forgetting.

I seem to have this funny notion in my head that if you ask to borrow something from someone you should be responsible for picking it up AND returning it in a timely manner. Where did I ever get that idea from????!

[niccig]

Ok...they can't afford to get their own. I get that...but they are not being considerate of your time and energy to get the GPS back. You've got better things to do than chase down inconsiderate friends.

Get the GPS back and when they ask to borrow something else, say "No, I'm using it." And don't feel guilty. I have a friend that I swear would ask to use your grave plot if her DH died before we did - as soon as you finish with it she's "oh, can we use that." I now say "no, I"m lending it to someone else/I'm selling it etc. " She's also the friend that will leave YOUR bike she knows you want to resell, out in the weather so it gets all rusty...GRRR

[gatorsmom]

You should just call your friend and say in a casual voice, "how was your trip? How did you like the GPS? They are so helpful, aren't they? BTW, I'm going to need it before this weekend I have an important meeting out of town (or some other important- sounding reason). Can you please get it to me before then or should I come and pick it up?"

I won't lend stuff out that I want back.

[Corie]

I don't lend things out. But I also don't ask to borrow things either.

[lovebebes]

I'm pretty stingy when it comes to my stuff and I always have been...so I generally don't loan things out. I will loan things out to my family but with them, I have no problems asking for the item back or just walking into their house and taking it back myself so they don't really count. On the flip side...I also don't borrow things. I do however GIVE lots and lots of things away!

I'd just ask your friend for the GPS...no biggie...it probably just slipped her mind!

:yeahthat:

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I would just shoot her an email saying you hope she had a great time and the GPS was useful, can you meet up in the next day or 2 to get it back?
No big deal.
:yeahthat: this is what i would do.

i don't usually loan things out bc most of my friends aren't the type to ask. but i am usually happy to loan stuff out if it helps ppl. i too have a hard time saying no and making up little white lies/excuses, but i would never loan something out to someone who has a bad track record of returning things. not worth it..life's too short.

[fumofu]

People don't usually ask to borrow stuff from me! but usually I will lend things out if asked. But I have responsible family members and friends who I know will promptly return things. If I know someone has the tendency to not return something, I will make up an excuse to refuse them.

In your case, like PP's have said, just simply tell the person you need to use the GPS device and would like her to return it to you ASAP. Better ask now than later, when it's really misplaced.

[Dcclerk]

I haven't read the other posts, but yes, I loan stuff out all the time. In fact, I think we are known as the gear family, because we are always being hit up for borrowing our ski clothes, sleeping bags, tents, life vests, DH's tools, etc. I am also almost a librarian for parenting books. I'm usually really glad that they get used.

That being said, I think that I must give off a certain vibe because I can only think of a couple of times that I did not get things back promptly and in great condition. I would also think nothing of calling or e-mailing and just saying, "Hey, I need my GPS this weekend. Would you mind swinging by tomorrow or the next day and dropping it off? Thanks!"