Questions for those who spend Christmas away from home

[misshollygolightly]

Background: I've always celebrated Christmas Day with my family, at home (with my parents at their home when I was younger and single, and now with DH and DS in our home). I've often traveled over the winter break, but never been away from 'home' on Christmas Day. We do a very traditional Christmas morning: stockings, presents under the tree, brunch (either just our immediate family, or occasionally friends or family members will visit and do it with us). We live far away (as in, many states or, in my parents' case, continents away) from most of our family), so this works well for us. This year, the fates have aligned and nearly all of our family (my parents, ILs, lots of extended family on both sides) will be in Texas, and we're planning to go spend the holiday with everyone there.

So here's my question: how does Christmas away from home work? Specifically, the presents? I can't imagine anyone packs the presents for each other (that is, presents from DH and me to DS, presents from me to DH, etc.) in suitcases and bring them on vacation with them to open Christmas morning and then repack and drag back home. So do you open presents from each other *before* you leave for Christmas or *after* you return home? I'm a little worried that DS (who will be 2 1/2) might have a hard time with opening all his presents and then being told he has to leave them behind and can't really play with them until we get back from our trip. But then again, I don't want the whole present-opening thing to drag on and on and take over our whole holiday. Regardless of whether you open presents before or after your trip, do you go ahead and do the whole holiday thing (setting out cookies for Santa, stuffing stockings, opening presents in the morning, etc.), but just do it on a day that you're at home? Or do you forgo the fuss and just open the presents without ceremony? What other suggestions do you have for handling this--esp. with a 2 1/2 year old?

(By the way, I realize that presents aren't the most important part of the holiday, and I'm probably obsessing over this. It's just that I have a hard time imagining celebrating this part of the holiday any other way from how I've always done it.)

[MamaMolly]

Isn't it funny what you start to think about when you have kids? I think you are smart to decide what traditions you want to keep and start them now. Most of them are travel friendly (like a plate of cookies, etc).

When Lula was 2 we went to my sister's for Christmas. We drove, so we ended up taking back a lot of the presents that way. IIRC DH and I exchanged one gift each and we saved it for when we got home because I like to savor the waiting. My mom and stepmom went insane and bought wayyyyyy too much stuff for all of us, so we ended up shipping some of the stuff that wouldn't fit in the car. Yay USPS!

Last year MIL and FIL came to us. Lula was 3 and really started to 'get' Christmas, but I think this year will be even better. MIL had to remind me to put out the plate of cookies and milk. :bag I asked her what she was doing...So my advice is to not worry so much about the gifts. Your DS will have gifts there to open. Think more about the traditions like cookie baking, caroling, driving around to look at the lights, etc.

This year my mom will be coming. Keep your eyes peeled on the BP! :ROTFLMAO:

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

When we go somewhere else, we have the immediate family Christmas before hand.

This year we have a bunch of family coming to us, so I am not sure what to do. I think it is a bit rude to open our family gifts in front of others, so I'm trying to figure it out. We did it that way once before and it was a bit strange to have more gifts than everyone else.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

we take it all with us and then bring it all back home.

we've done it both ways, driving and flying. the last time we flew, they lost our luggage with all the Santa gifts but they delivered it at 4:00AM on Christmas morning so it all worked out.

[vonfirmath]

Background: I've always celebrated Christmas Day with my family, at home (with my parents at their home when I was younger and single, and now with DH and DS in our home). I've often traveled over the winter break, but never been away from 'home' on Christmas Day. We do a very traditional Christmas morning: stockings, presents under the tree, brunch (either just our immediate family, or occasionally friends or family members will visit and do it with us). We live far away (as in, many states or, in my parents' case, continents away) from most of our family), so this works well for us. This year, the fates have aligned and nearly all of our family (my parents, ILs, lots of extended family on both sides) will be in Texas, and we're planning to go spend the holiday with everyone there.

So here's my question: how does Christmas away from home work? Specifically, the presents? I can't imagine anyone packs the presents for each other (that is, presents from DH and me to DS, presents from me to DH, etc.) in suitcases and bring them on vacation with them to open Christmas morning and then repack and drag back home. So do you open presents from each other *before* you leave for Christmas or *after* you return home? I'm a little worried that DS (who will be 2 1/2) might have a hard time with opening all his presents and then being told he has to leave them behind and can't really play with them until we get back from our trip. But then again, I don't want the whole present-opening thing to drag on and on and take over our whole holiday. Regardless of whether you open presents before or after your trip, do you go ahead and do the whole holiday thing (setting out cookies for Santa, stuffing stockings, opening presents in the morning, etc.), but just do it on a day that you're at home? Or do you forgo the fuss and just open the presents without ceremony? What other suggestions do you have for handling this--esp. with a 2 1/2 year old?

(By the way, I realize that presents aren't the most important part of the holiday, and I'm probably obsessing over this. It's just that I have a hard time imagining celebrating this part of the holiday any other way from how I've always done it.)

I packed all the gifts up (and DS's stocking) and took them with us for my 2 1/2 year old. We needed them for him to play with over the holiday!

We do not do Santa, though, so it was no big deal for him to see the gifts (Not that he cared. I think he might notice this year)

Also, we drove on Christmas day so we celebrated "Christmas" on the day after Christmas. and it took hiM ALL day to open his gifts (And I ended up doing some just to get it done) because he would open something and want to play with it right away and I'd rather him have fun iwth his gifts than make it a JOB to open gifts.

We also took small stuff for husband and I to open for each other.

This year, we might be going to my sister's (2 hours away) Christmas day. If so, then we probably won't open gifts until day after Christmas. Don't want to open gifts with her family because her kids get a lot less than we give DS and I don't want tensions starting because of that. So we'll celebrate our family Christmas on the day after and use Christmas day to spend with extended family.

This way, also, Grandma and Grandpa don't have to decide which family to spend Christmas with.

[MoJo]

Growing up, all Christmases were at home with just immediate family. As an adult, all of my Christmases except one involved travelling to the home I grew up in. I've always been able to drive, and I've always taken the presents for everyone with me and then brought them back. I'm the only one with kids, so everyone wants to see the kids open their presents. . . and my house isn't anywhere near big enough to comfortably host everyone.

I'm exactly at the stage of needing to decide how to handle this going forward too. Part of the reason it's hard is that DH doesn't care anything about Christmas at all, and my family of origin loves it so much (like me).

For now, we do stockings, wrapped gifts under the tree, etc at my mom's house. Traveling doesn't take anything away from what we do, except I sometimes skimp on the decorating at my own house, knowing I won't be here on Christmas day. FWIW, I typically travel with unwrapped gifts and wrap them there. . . I nearly always spend several days at my mom's house before Christmas.

[fivi2]

Are you going to be in a hotel or with family?

If with family, I would have all presents shipped to that person's house (warn them not to open). by that I mean the presents for your dc and for the other relatives. as pp mentioned it would hard if luggage gets lost, and you don't want to cart it around. I would have you and dh exchange at home or just bring little things for each other.

If Santa is bringing your dc something big, I would have it set up for when you get back, as though he came and set it up on Christmas eve while you were gone (and even if you do stockings at relatives, *I* would probably also have a little stocking set out at home for when you return, but I do go overboard. you would get it ready in the closet, dh buckles dc in the car, you run in and set it out so it will be out when you all get home.)

You will most likely have to box up and ship stuff home.

I would do Santa cookies and stockings where ever you are. if in a hotel, I would try to get a small fake tree to plug in and set cookies under and do a little stocking. If at relatives, then do it there.

[egoldber]

we take it all with us and then bring it all back home.

:yeahthat:

My mom's house is not large enough for us to stay there, so we stay in a nearby hotel. We put out stockings there and Santa fills the stockings and leaves his presents at the hotel.

The kids open our presents to them at my mom's house.

So far this works well for us although it is a bit of a PITA. We also usually drive, so it is not as bad as it would be flying. In the past I have generally shipped or simply had packages delivered to my mom's house and wrapped there. We are all about the reusable gift bags and Santa does not wrap for us, so the wrapping is not that onerous.

ETA: This is all if we are going to be there Christmas Day. Some years we have gone after Christmas. Then we do the Santa stuff and stockings at home and then do our presents to the kids at my mom's.

[misshollygolightly]

Wow! I'm surprised so many people take all the presents with them...and back! I had no idea. We're going to be flying, and we'll be traveling some by car once we arrive in Texas (from ILs in Austin to my family in Houston), so I'm pretty sure I don't want to haul everything with us. I know that we'll receive many gifts from family (probably too many--DS is an only grandchild on both sides of the family, and the youngest member of the extended family), so I'm not worried that he won't have enough gifts. Also, I kind of like the idea of the grandparents, etc. getting to see him enjoy *their* gifts without the competition of ours. All this to say that I'm pretty sure that we'll leave all our gifts for our nuclear family behind (with the possible exception of one small gift for each of us). And I do think I'll try to keep as many of the traditions as possible--you guys are right, we can put out cookies for Santa wherever we are! :)

I'm still undecided on whether we should open nuclear family gifts before or after we travel, though, and what kind of "set up" (in terms of tradition and rituals) would be good (like, open the presents one morning and sort of pretend it's Christmas morning, or just acknowledge that we'll be doing things a bit different this year).

[Clarity]

Your son is 2 1/2? Honestly, I'd select one or two presents to take with you for him and leave the rest at home. Either open them before or after your trip. He's only 2 1/2, he's young enough that you can fudge the "rules" a bit and he won't really remember. I don't think he'll have a problem leaving his new toys for a few days, especially if it's to go visit much loved family members and get MORE toys!

[traciann]

If we travel on Christmas eve/day then we will celebrate Christmas on another day, usually the day before we leave. I feel its important that we have a day to celebrate with just us, no matter which day it is. I think when the kids are little they don't understand that its not technically christmas day, so it doesn't really matter to me. I would leave the presents because you are right your dc will have plenty of fun presents to open when you get there.

[mmommy]

Your son is 2 1/2? Honestly, I'd select one or two presents to take with you for him and leave the rest at home. Either open them before or after your trip. He's only 2 1/2, he's young enough that you can fudge the "rules" a bit and he won't really remember. I don't think he'll have a problem leaving his new toys for a few days, especially if it's to go visit much loved family members and get MORE toys!
:yeahthat:

I don't think it will actually be the problem you might be imagining.
And if you're flying, you certainly don't want to have to pay to haul everything there and back again.
When we travel over the holidays my family has a "it must be easy to pack" rule for gifts. So, if Grandma wants to get LO a play kitchen, she does and has it shipped before or after our trip. But only small, easy to pack gifts are exchanged during the trip.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Ship some directly there, if small enough to bring back home. My brother and his family often packed up a Rubbermaid storage tote with the gifts and checked that as luggage. Worked well.

I agree, at 2.5, just do Christmas before or after and it'll be fine. Likely other people will spoil him day of. :)

Beth

[crl]

I buy nearly everything online and have it shipped directly to my parents. We open everything there and bring some stuff home with us in suitcases. The rest, we box up and my dad mails to us.

Catherine

[Pear]

I remember being a kid and visiting family at Christmas. Even though my parents explained that we would have presents at home, it was awful
Sitting there watching my cousins open tons of gifts and I would have one token present. If your extended family will be providing lots of gifts I wouldn't worry about it. Otherwise I would bring along a good portion of whatever you an to give your DS.

[muskiesusan]

We write Santa a letter explaining the situation and ask that he bring presents on a specified date. The boys are then allowed to bring a few presents with them on the trip. It has never been that big of a deal to leave most toys behind b/c they get other stuff from relatives. Plus the boys have always thought it really cool that Santa is willing to make a special trip!

[vonfirmath]

Ah. Flying changes things.

When we flew, we shipped the gifts ahead of us and did not give our family's gifts because he was an infant and would not know.

I thought you were driving

We drove Austin->Tucscon Christmas Eve and Christmas day last year.

[katydid1971]

I buy nearly everything online and have it shipped directly to my parents. We open everything there and bring some stuff home with us in suitcases. The rest, we box up and my dad mails to us.

Catherine
:yeahthat:
I will also send a box to the Grandparents house a few weeks before Christmas of stuff I found on sales locally. I got all of my DN's Christmas gifts at the Target clearance when it went to 75% off. :yay:

[septmama2b]

I am so glad to see this thread, I'll be looking for good ideas.
I am facing an away from home Christmas for the first time since we've had kids. We'll be traveling to California from Virginia this year with a 2 year old and a 1 year old. In addition to the holiday stress, my youngest's 1st birthday is on the 15th which is our travel day. We are having his party on the 18th. We'll be returning home on the 31st. We'll be staying with my parents, and they are thrilled. I was planning on only putting up minimal decorations at home since we'll be gone for so long. I have no idea how we'll manage the gift issue either, we'll have both birthday and Christmas gifts. I love the idea of checking a rubbermaid tote, we're traveling on Southwest so no checked bag fee. We figure this is the last year we'll be having Christmas away from hime fir a while. As soon as the kids get into Santa I'd rather be at our house.