DD wakes up and won't go back to sleep

[crl]

DD actually goes down for the night easily. I give her a bottle and put her in her crib drowsy, but awake. She sometimes cries out once or twice, usually as I am putting her down. I pat her once or twice and go sit in the rocking chair for a couple of minutes. She's out and I leave. Great!

Then she wakes up at about 11pm. I give her a bottle. She is harder to get back to sleep this time. I put her down and pat her for 15 to 20 minutes. If I try to leave or stop patting before she is soundly asleep she shrieks until I go back and pat some more.

Then she wakes up at 3am. I give her another bottle. This time it takes about 40 minutes of patting to get her back down. And once a week or so she just doesn't go back down at all.

I decided to get rid of the 3 am bottle. She is 6 months old and it seems like she ought to be able to make it with just one bottle, right?

Thoughts? Suggestions? I am really tired of that 3 am feeding, especially what a struggle it is to get her back down.

Catherine

[MoJo]

My 4 month old wakes up at 3 a.m every day. . . but she soothes herself back to sleep and doesn't eat 'til about 5 or 5:30. Her pedi thought that was good/appropriate when she was there this week. And her last feeding is typically between 8:30 and 9:30 pm.

[PGTB]

I think you should be able to eliminate this 3am feeding at this age. I have similar waking pattern for my 5.5 months old DS. He goes to sleep between 7-8pm and wakes up at least twice - 11pm and around 3-4am. He is up for the day at 5-6am and although this sleeping pattern is much better than what we use to have before we are still exhausted. I talked to my ped about his sleeping issues during his 4.5 months appointment and the doctor said to me to stop feeding him between midnight and 6am. He said at that age he should be able to go for 6 hours straight without a feeding especially if his last feeding takes place at 11-12am. So, your 6 months old definitely should be ok without the 3am feeding. I remember the time when my DS would go for 6 hours straight without a feeding on regular basis when he was just 2 months old!

One night I was feeling sick and I was physically unable to get up to feed DS in the middle of the night. He managed to sleep through it. Having said that, I am still feeding him at night, at this point because we are so exhausted and just want to have all of us go back to sleep asap without crying.

As far as the long night time awake periods - we had a very similar problem too. At around before DS turned 5 months he would have trouble going to sleep after waking. At least one of the night wakings he would stay up for 1-2 hours usually. Very often he would be up for 2 hours in the middle of the night, this is how long it would take him to go to sleep! I was lucky if he would go to sleep 40 min after waking. Now, it seems like it is easier for him to go to sleep (hope I don't jinx it, keep my fingers crossed). I started to attribute his long wakeful period at night to him learning to turn on his side from his back. I would see him struggling to turn around when trying to fall asleep. After he mastered the ability to turn on his side he is going back to sleep easier. Now he is sleeping on his side half the time. I wonder if your DD is learning to settle down into a different sleeping position and maybe this is what is keeping her up? Another reason for long wakeful period could be tummy problems - problems pooping, DS would cry sometimes in the middle of the night passing gas and trying to poop but not being able to. I also notice that sometimes he wakes up after passing gas loudly, this must cause him pain or discomfort and probably what is keeping him up. The 3rd problem for us was changing his diaper in the middle of the night. I used to do this even if it was just a wet diaper, it would always prolong the wakeful period during the night. Now I avoid doing this unless I know for sure he has pooped.

Could your DD be learning a new skill that is keeping her up or learning what position is comfortable for her to sleep in? We are told to put babies on their backs to sleep, but once they get older I guess just like all of us they want to find what position is comfortable for them. Could that keep them awake after their immediate needs like food and clean diaper and burping are satisfied?

[BabyBearsMom]

Our pedi told us to eliminate the 3am feeding at her 4 month appointment. She recommended we feed her more in the day so she doesn't need to eat at night. we started by giving her an extra 4 oz bottle during the day which gradually turned into a 6 oz bottle. Also introducing solids really helped a lot. DD now sleeps from 7pm to 6am every night. If she does wake up in the middle of the night (like right now she wakes up because she is teethng), I don't feed her or pick her up. I just give her a paci and few strokes on the back until she goes back to sleep (usually 3 or 4 months).

[crl]

Thanks for all the thoughts, especially the confirmation that dd is old enough to start skipping the 3am bottle.

She has been rolling over for a long time now and I actually put her down on her tummy because that's where she ends up anyway. She has been working on crawling and sitting, but I'm not seeing her trying either out during these night wakings. She already has two teeth and we think another is on the way. She isn't fussy during the day, but I guess it is possible she is having teething pain at night?

I don't change diapers during the night--she hasn't pooped at night in months. She isn't passing gas usually and I haven't noticed any digestive issues.

I do wonder about solids. We just started and I decided to try baby led solids. So she isn't getting much in that way just yet. I wonder if I started feeding rice cereal or oatmeal in the evenings if that would fill her up for longer.

Thank you,
Catherine

[wendibird22]

Both my girls went through periods of wakefulness during the night where it seemed such a struggle to get them back to sleep. DD2, who is 10mos, has done this several times over the past say 4-5mos and it usually corresponds to nearing a new milestone. I'd say that doing so at 6mos is totally normal. Aggravating. Exhausting. But normal.

[BabyBearsMom]

Thanks for all the thoughts, especially the confirmation that dd is old enough to start skipping the 3am bottle.

She has been rolling over for a long time now and I actually put her down on her tummy because that's where she ends up anyway. She has been working on crawling and sitting, but I'm not seeing her trying either out during these night wakings. She already has two teeth and we think another is on the way. She isn't fussy during the day, but I guess it is possible she is having teething pain at night?

I don't change diapers during the night--she hasn't pooped at night in months. She isn't passing gas usually and I haven't noticed any digestive issues.

I do wonder about solids. We just started and I decided to try baby led solids. So she isn't getting much in that way just yet. I wonder if I started feeding rice cereal or oatmeal in the evenings if that would fill her up for longer.

Thank you,
Catherine


I think teething bothers them more at night, less distraction from the paint KWIM? DD gets two servings of solids a day and the ped told us to start introducing a third before we go in for her 9 month appointment. I don't know anything about baby-led weaning, but we do the purees and cereals (so the term solid is pretty relative). It does seem to help keep her more satisfied.

[crl]

Things have gone from bad to worse. Dd's night sleep is all over the place now but all of it bad.

She still goes down for the night easily. I've started giving motrin, thinking that teething pain was the issue. But that has not improved things. I'm trying to tank her up in the evening so she's been taking about 12 oz total in the two hours before bedtime. Last night she actually slept from 7 until 11:45, which was an improvement over the previous couple of nights. I gave her a bottle at 11:45 and stayed with her until she fell soundly back to sleep at 1:15. At 2:30 she woke back up crying. I went in and gave her another dose of Motrin; she was inconsolable. At 4, I handed her off to dh who was also unable to console her. At 4:45 he gave her back. At 5, I gave her a bottle--at this point I'm trying to get her to go 6 hours between the night feeding and an am bottle. She polished it off promptly and is dosing in my lap right now.

It has been nearly a week since I took away the 3am bottle and I can't believe things are worse now than before. I'm at a loss and we are all exhausted.

Catherine

[wellyes]

Ack, sounds like a rough night. So sorry. It sounds like right now, with the crying at night, she's going trough something where she needs her parents. I think we've all BTDT and there is just no describing how exhausting and frustrating it is. Hugs.


Both my girls went through periods of wakefulness during the night where it seemed such a struggle to get them back to sleep. DD2, who is 10mos, has done this several times over the past say 4-5mos and it usually corresponds to nearing a new milestone. I'd say that doing so at 6mos is totally normal. Aggravating. Exhausting. But normal.

Yes, that's my experience too. And it becomes a game, too, because at night the parents are constantly holding the baby, soothing her, talking to her, trying to get her to sleep. So much attention is obviously wonderful to a little baby so the cycle just gets worse and worse. This is when many families decide to change the pattern with Ferberizing. (Again, not something you'd do to deal with teething or a distraught baby - just for general wakefulness at night).

[crl]

Yes, she is crying even if we are there. She would sort of stop for me if I was holding her, rocking her and singing all at the same time. She wouldn't stop for dh at all.

This is particularly frustrating because until about age 4 months she always went straight back to sleep after bottles. And I only started rocking her in desperation the last three nights.

I actually would be up for some sort of sleep training at this point, but nothing I've read even seems to fit because she is inconsolable. . . . She was fully medicated for teething pain last night (if she even has any). She's been fed a ton to try to get her through the night. I can't think what else to do.

Catherine

[PGTB]

Yes, she is crying even if we are there. She would sort of stop for me if I was holding her, rocking her and singing all at the same time. She wouldn't stop for dh at all.

This is particularly frustrating because until about age 4 months she always went straight back to sleep after bottles. And I only started rocking her in desperation the last three nights.

I actually would be up for some sort of sleep training at this point, but nothing I've read even seems to fit because she is inconsolable. . . . She was fully medicated for teething pain last night (if she even has any). She's been fed a ton to try to get her through the night. I can't think what else to do.

Catherine

First of all, big :grouphug:, I am sorry you are going through that. We have been struggling with DS sleep issues ever since he turned 3 months old, and I know unfortunately, how terrible it feels to have a stretch of really rough nights and feeling like there is nothing you can do.

If your DDs problems sleeping are not related to any physical illness or discomfort at this point you can try some extinction method. Either the Ferber method with gradually increasing intervals or the complete extinction (ignoring). I know this sounds wrong, but at this point if your LO is not sleeping at all she is only getting more and more sleep deprived and the soothing requirements are going to get more and more complex to the point of her becoming inconsolable and eventually having to cry herself to sleep anyway.

You said that she is not entirely inconsolable, and that if you rock and sing to her she would calm down, but not your DH. Seems like she learned to associate you and your actions with falling asleep. They learn new associations really fast, which is fortunate when you re trying to sleep train them to fall asleep on their own and unfortunate as soon as we start interfering and soothing. From what I read and observed myself every time we introduce something new to the baby that has established certain routine and associations we can make them inadvertently learn a new thing. From what you describe your DD has gotten used to being soothed whether or not she is in real physical pain. Now, she has to re-learn to fall asleep on her own without that complex soothing you do.

I am not a sleep expert, quite the opposite - a parent with a baby who has sleep issues. From my experience, after a few nights of constant inconsolable waking periods we tried and tried to do everything we could to soothe DS, which meant making the soothing routine more and more complex. This was around when he was 4.5 months. At one point there were a couple of nights when we had to walk with him around the apartment for 2 hours straight to help him sleep each time he woke up, he wouldn't accept anything but constant walking. Our soothing routine became at that point impossible for us to implement - none of us got any sleep and the baby was so badly sleep deprived we had to do something. We at that point out of desperation resorted to Ferber method. it was helpful right away after the first couple of nights we had DS who was able to finally fall asleep without our assistance. We haven't had to walk around with him ever since. But he had gradually fallen back on some associations like nursing, patting etc and we did end up with many more rough nights after that, albeit of a slightly different flavor.

I read both Ferber and Weissbluth books. After reading Weissbluth's "happy sleep habits, happy child" we started working on establishing a rigid schedule for DS and putting him to bed earlier, and being structured around his naps. DS is still not sleeping through the night and sometimes there are wakings that last 2 hours. Often he just wakes up for the morning at 4am or 5am and wouldn't go back to sleep. So, we haven't all figured it out.. It's not an exact science and nobody seems to have the answer.

What helped us right away is eliminating associations like rocking, walking, etc, complex acts we cannot do in the middle of the night and establishing early bed time routine. I still feed him at night and if we are lucky he falls asleep fast. Eventually, we will try to wean him from his middle of the night feeding between midnight and 6am, but I am not sure yet how.

What did you do to cut your DDs 3am feeding and why you think this is what caused her issues?

[MommyAllison]

DD had an inconsolable stage like that around 4-5 months. I think for her, she was super tired but could not relax enough to sleep (she was learning to sit and crawl at the time). She wouldn't nurse, so we'd end up walking around in the dark, singing to her for an hour or more until she'd finally fall asleep and we could lay down (we co-slept). There were only 2 things we found that helped:

1- MeiTai - we'd strap her on and start walking, and she'd fight it and cry for 3-5 minutes, then be out like a light. Once she figured out she wasn't going anywhere, she'd relax and fall asleep. I think she liked the swaddle-like feeling of the MT, though she was only swaddled for a couple weeks as a newborn, because she could unwrap her swaddle.

2- Time. She did outgrow it, or something. One of those things that is so hard when you're in the middle of the stage, and then one day you realize she doesn't do it anymore. I thought we might wear a path into our bedroom carpet in the meantime though! DH still tells people horror stories about that stage, and we were so thankful that DS never went through it. :)

I hope you are able to figure out a solution so you can all get more sleep soon!