How would you rename the "Daddy/Daughter Dance"?

[Asianmommy]

Our PTO is having a "Daddy/Daughter Dance" this year, and one of the parents wrote in to complain about the name of the dance. She feels that it is a nice event, but should be renamed, as it excludes those girls whose fathers are absent and that makes them sad. We do encourage girls to bring their dads, grandpas, or other special men in their lives. Is there a better way to rename the event?

[bnme]

Our school calls it the Sweetheart Dance. They do it in November. In February they have a Valentines Day dance that is mother/son.

[EllasMum]

At our preschool, rather than doing a Father's Day event, they called it "Special Person Night" and had each kid bring whoever they wanted - my daughter brought her Grandpa. :)

[shawnandangel]

If she had enough time on her hands to write in and complain she should have had enough time to think of and propose a new name.

[DietCokeLover]

The Miss and Mister Ball

[Corie]

"B.Y.O.M."

Bring Your Own Man. LOL! :)

[sariana]

The Miss and Mister Ball

:thumbsup: I like.:D

[LMPC]

VIP dance? That way the special could be of either sex.

[designermv]

There is a charity event here every year in December and it's called the Sugar Plum Dance.

[ehf]

If she had enough time on her hands to write in and complain she should have had enough time to think of and propose a new name.

I think it's a thoughtful bit of feedback. I have students this year who are being raised by two women, students whose fathers have passed away, students whose fathers are in jail, and students who desperately would like to live with their fathers but can't because of custody battles. They all might feel pretty sad and marginalized by a "Father-daughter Dance"

I'll be mulling this over. It's hard to capture the sense of "father figure" without a lot of awkward phrasing. I think the strategy of calling it something random and cute and then just explaining the idea in the invite makes a lot of sense.

[Mommy_Again]

I love the "Sweetheart Dance" suggestion...it could encompass any number of situations.

[dcmom2b3]

If she had enough time on her hands to write in and complain she should have had enough time to think of and propose a new name.

Hey now, easy. I know that there are plenty of things that have made me uncomfortable as a single (widowed) mom -- including last year's father's day preschool project that's still sitting in the middle of the coffee table. It's not like her dad is going to pick it up on his EOW visitation. It was supposed to be something else (per my conversation with her teacher) but ended up being a gift assuming someone to give it to.

I wouldn't presume to tell a school what to do, but I would like to think that if I voiced my discomfort I'd be heard, and not told to come up with my own solution.

It's a fine balance to walk between making your kid the odd person out and properly challenging the presumptions that everyone has a living/involved father or father figure so that your kid can be included in events and activities. I would like to think that I could establish a dialogue about the name of a "daddy-daughter" dance that would exclude my daughter by its terms alone. And I'd hope that I'd be graceful in doing so. But I have my bad days, too. Maybe she's not being graceful in that she's "complaining" but, frankly, I'm not so sure she shouldn't complain.

[happymom]

I love the "Sweetheart Dance" suggestion...it could encompass any number of situations.

:yeahthat:

[GonnaBeNana]

Our city holds an annual event and calls it "A Knight for a Princess." Anyone special in the girl's life can bring her. I think it's a nice play on "Knight" and "Night" since it's an evening, dressy, event. It's the hottest ticket in town and tickets go very fast for each night it's held.

Beth

[KpbS]

I like Sweetheart (my neices' school calls the dance this) and a Knight for a Princess--cute name. Good choices.

[mskitty]

We switched to best guy, best gal several years ago in Girl Scouts.

mskitty

[kransden]

Our Girls Scouts call events like this "Me and My Guy" or "Me and My Gal".

It broke my heart one year when we were making Mother's Day cards, I was teaching Art, and the little girl told me she didn't have a mother. The mom was dead, and she was being raised by her grandparents. I told her of course she had a mom, she was just in heaven. So the rest of the week, I was more careful about how I explained who the cards were for and how many they could make.

[JustMe]

Hmmn, I am having trouble coming up with a good name but I also like something along the lines of Sweetheart dance, and think its important to not have something that specifies gender so that you can be inclusive to all sorts of families and situations.

For some reason "The apple of my eye" keeps running through my head, although I know its too long, not catchy, and would be lost on kids...but just trying to think of something that conveys the meaning of someone who is loved and admired. I like the VIP idea, as well...maybe the kids could make pins that say VIP for their guest or something like that.

[elektra]

DD's preschool calls it F.U.D.G.E night. It's not a dance but it's a Fall thing, where they decorate pumpkins.
Fathers
Uncles
Dads
Grandfathers
Everyone Else Male

How's that for inclusion!
There is then a little paragraph explanation saying that any meaningful adult male in the preschooler's life is welcome.

[Momit]

DD's preschool calls it F.U.D.G.E night. It's not a dance but it's a Fall thing, where they decorate pumpkins.
Fathers
Uncles
Dads
Grandfathers
Everyone Else Male

How's that for inclusion!
There is then a little paragraph explanation saying that any meaningful adult male in the preschooler's life is welcome.

What a cute idea! I also like Sweetheart Dance and A Knight for a Princess.

[daisymommy]

I'll be the only voice of dissent on "Sweetheart Dance". The word sweetheart conjures up romantic notions and feelings, as in someone you are in love with, and that just icks me out when you're talking about a male figure and younger girl. I don't like the connotation.

I know, I'm complaining without a better option :o, sorry.

[Asianmommy]

Thanks for all of your great suggestions! I'll bring them to the PTO & see what they think.