WWYD: Adpot A Family

[dukie41181]

We just got out Adopt A Family family information for this holiday season. I'm itchin' to get started as I am due with baby #2 in less than 2 weeks! In looking over the lists, I'm a bit stumped as to what to do so I am hoping for opinions. The family consists of a single mom and 2 children (ages 3 and 9 months). There are lots of items "checked" to indicate that they'd be items the individual would like (ex: dress pants, PJs, winter boots, etc.) and then there are items that are circled which represent "items that are most needed." Well, the only items that are circled for the 3 year old (and therefore have been identified as "most needed") are toys (VTech Vreader, Dairy Queen Blizzard Maker and Glitter Barbie). I'm kind of guessing these are really the items that the child most wants rather than most needs. I looked these up online and noticed that the Vreader is fairly expensive ($60) and the others are about $30 each too. The program does set a budget of $100 per child and clearly if I got these toys the entire budget would be gone without getting any of the more practical items. What would you do?

[HIU8]

I think I would do 1 of the items and then the practical items along with it.

[JustMe]

I guess I would try to respect the family's priorities as much as possible. Maybe they have other ways of getting the practical items or would be able to purchase them since they are a lot less expensive. I'm not sure if there are things checked/circled for the the 9 mo old as well? I would probably buy 2 of the $30 items if there were things checked for the 3 year old and then spend the rest on the 9 month old. If nothing was checked for the 9 month old, I might (or might not, really not sure) buy 3 of the $30 items for the 3 yr old...Again, not sure as it would be hard to know if I really shouldnt buy anything for the 9 month old. However, as I said, they may have other ways of getting those things as well.

[jellibeans]

I am sure that the sensible side of me would say to get more affordable toys but it is Christmas. And lots of kids that the 3 year old goes to school with probably has those toys and you are her only hope;) I would probably do the VReader because it is atleast educational. Then with the rest of the money budgeted to her, I would go to Walmart or another cheap store to find things(boots, dress pants, etc.) that she needs w/n the price range.

[dukie41181]

Just to clarify a little (sorry for not being clear in the original post), the budget is $100/child so $100 for the 3 year old and $100 for the 9 month old. There was nothing circled for the little one so I'm a little more open there as far as what to get. I'm thinking I'll get some of the "write in" items for the 9 month old since clearly the mother specifically thought of them to add to the predetermined list.

[niccig]

I'd get some of the wants and some of the needs. Kids want some toys, and it's not fun just getting clothes and other practical items.

[TwinFoxes]

I'd get her a toy, and then practical stuff. Even if I buy the V-reader for $60, I can find a lot of clothes for a 3 year old for 40 bucks. :)

But honestly, I don't think you can do the "wrong" thing in this situation.

[sste]

I have been and thought like an extremely financially constrained person . . . OK, at times in my life I would say I was poor.

The way you think when you are poor is just different. For example, there have been times I purposefully ate very high-fat, low-nutrition food (think fried food, McDonalds) because I knew I would feel full for a longer period of time, thus needing to spend less money on food.

What I think is happening here is that clothing is one of the first things to go on a budget . . . you can get all the clothes items mentioned for free at various community organizations or for dollars at goodwill/salvation. And that is with minimal driving, gas/bus money, etc. because you can find stuff in good condition readily. Sure, new is nice for kids but if you have to prioritize. Specific toys that your kid wants would be very hard to find in excellent condition . . . can you imagine driving/taking the bus to a zillion thrift stores looking for glitter barbie?

So, I would follow the family's priorities (even though I personally wouldn't buy half that stuff for my own three year old!).

[AbbysMom]

We have family who are going through a tough time. They don't accept things from me that I think they'd need (Backpacks, clothes, GC's to supermarket etc.) They get what they need for free or at a very reduced cost. but when Christmas comes, the kids want IPads etc. I think the mom in your case probably gifts that she cannot afford for her kids for Christmas and what she thinks will make her kid happy. So I'd probably stick to what she wants (within your budget limits - i.e. the 2 $30 toys and fill in the rest of the budget with clothes or other things).

[dukie41181]

I am thinking of doing the VReader but just noticed that the VReader books are $20 each! I'm afraid that I'll get the $60 unit and a book and then be uncertain how much use it will be able to get. I like the idea of an educational toy which is why I'm leaning that direction. Does my concern seem unfounded? Am I overthinking it?

[dogmom]

My personal opinion is get the toys. There are many ways to get clothing and other things for little or no money. Heck, I've got clothes for my DD up to age six someone gave me, much nicer clothes then I would every buy for her, and I wasn't looking for them. They have a gift tag thing every year in our town, they kids write what they want down on the tag. All the cute little kid gifts go first and the one's always left are the teenager's request for some specific kind of jeans, or the request for a gift card to buy a video game. I always grab those tags. I figure the Holidays are the one time you can want what you want with no guilt or judgment.

[niccig]

I am thinking of doing the VReader but just noticed that the VReader books are $20 each! I'm afraid that I'll get the $60 unit and a book and then be uncertain how much use it will be able to get. I like the idea of an educational toy which is why I'm leaning that direction. Does my concern seem unfounded? Am I overthinking it?

I wouldn't get the vreader as you have to get the books. And while we want education toys for our kids, they love the non-educational toys.

I would get the barbie and I'm not a barbie fan. It might be the only barbie the little girl ever has.

[ha98ed14]

I am thinking of doing the VReader but just noticed that the VReader books are $20 each! I'm afraid that I'll get the $60 unit and a book and then be uncertain how much use it will be able to get. I like the idea of an educational toy which is why I'm leaning that direction. Does my concern seem unfounded? Am I overthinking it?

Get the V reader and as many books as you can for $100. sste is right. Mom probably gets clothes from the Thrift store or St. Vincent de Paul vouchers or another charity. As much as it kills me to do that, it might be the merriest christmas that child will ever have.

[California]

I've helped out with various drives, and the one hesitation I'd have on the VTech is if it takes batteries. What I heard was that the long term fate of such toys is to get ditched when the batteries run low, rather then having the batteries replaced. (That is a generality and may not be the case with this mom.)

Personally I would lean towards the Barbie, some Barbie clothes and a container to store it all in. I'm not a huge fan of Barbie either but that toy wouldn't require any batteries and wouldn't break easily.

[WolfpackMom]

I wouldn't do the vreader due to the cost of books and batteries. I would do the barbie and the Blizzard Maker and some of the "checked" items.