Observations for private school admissions

[nmosur]

DD is 4 (in pre-k) and we are in the process of applying for private schools. All these schools have an observation where the children are taken in small groups and maybe alone and "observed". This is my issue - DD is very unpredictable. She might just skip off and be with them or she might just cling and refuse to let go of me. Anyone run into this kind of situation. Or what should I do?? What can I do?? These observations will done sometime in Jan.

TIA

[niccig]

I felt the same. We got there, the teacher engaged DS immediately, he saw a HUGE toy truck, and he didn't care what happened to me.

Don't talk it up too much to your DD, just say you're going to play at a new school. I think I told DS the night before. I had already done a tour, so I could DS about some of the toys in the room etc. Ours was a 9am appointment, so I made sure we were up early, dressed and there without any rushing.

[nmosur]

I felt the same. We got there, the teacher engaged DS immediately, he saw a HUGE toy truck, and he didn't care what happened to me.

Don't talk it up too much to your DD, just say you're going to play at a new school. I think I told DS the night before. I had already done a tour, so I could DS about some of the toys in the room etc. Ours was a 9am appointment, so I made sure we were up early, dressed and there without any rushing.

I would be so happy if DD did that. There seem to be nothing that will make her change her mind once she decides on something - it seems like she makes up her mind in the very first minute that she in a situation. Nothing will budge her - not a toy, candy, nothing. And the observation last about two hours.

[SnuggleBuggles]

My ds1 hid under a table for some of the time at one school. Needless to say, they did not offer him a spot in k for that and other reasons. They did offer him a spot in pre-k as he was a summer b-day. I think that was their plan regardless of the success of the visit though...gets them an extra year tuition. Sorry, only a tad jaded about the process.

In hindsight there were a lot of things I didn't really like about the school and I am glad things worked out as they did. He found the right school for him after all.

Beth

[HonoluluMom]

Not sure if your LO went to preschool, but can you enroll your child in something like Kumon? It will give your child the opportunity to get used to (and perhaps learn to like) being a formal small group setting with other children and teacher.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Btw, most schools are used to kids that age having opinions about separating. A good school should understand that the kid is in an new, strange environment and only make some opinions about that part of the visit. Likely there will be some one on one time and things that might engage her and let them see more of her abilities and personality.

Beth

[HonoluluMom]

Oops, re-read the original and it looks like your LO is in pre-K. My suggestion came from someone whose child was in pre-school and the parents sent the child to Kumon right before private school observations/testing to get the child used to being with other children/teachers he wasn't familiar with.

[Karenn]

Try to schedule your observations/evaluations later in the admissions season if possible. A few weeks or months can make a lot of difference developmentally at this age. Older children usually separate more easily.

Know that the admissions committee is used to kids having transition issues at this age. It's very common. A rocky separation may not necessarily be a deal breaker.

Don't be afraid to ask to reschedule appointments when your child is sick. The admission committee wants to see your child at his or her best. If a child has an 'off' experience because he or she was under the weather, it can be difficult to come in again with a clean slate. If they can't reschedule, make sure they know your child isn't feeling well.

Don't sell your daughter short. :) I've been a part of this process for years on the admissions side and just went through it as a parent. It was NERVE-WRACKING!! Some other moms and I were talking this week about having survived the admissions process and we were *all* convinced that our kids wouldn't separate or do well in the observation. They all did fine. One kid actually did have trouble separating, but he still did well enough to get in.

If the observation really doesn't go well or your child really won't separate, consider the fact that the school might not be a good fit for her right now. It doesn't mean that she's not bright or that she's not a great kid. It doesn't even mean that the particular school will never be a good fit for her. It just means that for this year, a different program might be better.

[bubbaray]

I view observations as being as much for you, as a purchaser of private school services, as they are for the teachers/administrators. Fit is a 2-way street.