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View Full Version : WWYD? Candy rewards at school



lalasmama
11-03-2010, 05:22 PM
La's teacher has a reward box for kids when they have great days. It used to be filled with little doo-dads: pencils, bookmarks, cheap little party favor toys, etc. ... Sounds good to me. La loved it. Now, though, apparently it's switched to licorice. La came bouncing out of class today, thrilled that she's getting candy (licorice) on an almost daily basis. She had two short (6") pieces with her today.

I fully admit to being a bit obsessive about this. La knows candy of any sort--suckers, m&m's, licorice, cupcakes, even tiny tootsie rolls--are a special treat, and that they aren't healthy, and that they don't help kids grow. To put this in prospective to our family life, she is thrilled with a single jelly bean; she refuses soda 90% of the time, because she wants to grow taller than me by the time she's 10, and knows that kids who drink soda and eat candy don't grow as healthy. SO got her a small box of Mike-n-Ikes, and she ate 2 before deciding she was done. In the past, she's had cavities that the dentist said was from too much candy (her birth mother was very free with sugary items, as was I before I had to deal with kid fillings and extra brushings and sugar highs!). Unfortunately, La's attitude goes down the tube when she's given special treats like this; it's seriously like she just can't make her brain work. There's a family history of childhood diabetes, which also plays a role in why I watch the treat intake.

So, here's my problem. Do I ask the teacher to stop giving out the licorice? If so, how do I do this? I'm trying to avoid becoming "that parent"... La has ADHD and can be demanding--she always wants to move to whatever is next, including at school, and gets frustrated when the other kids aren't moving as fast as she is. I've already had to talk with the teacher when the reading teacher told the kids it was fine to say something was fat. So, I have a high-needs student, I've already complained about things... and I really don't want to be "that parent" but I also really don't want La having licorice every school day (or any other gummy or sugary treat!).

What do you think? What would you do? Suck it up? Email the teacher? Get a letter from the dentist or her doctor? I'm really at a serious loss here of what to do!

infomama
11-03-2010, 05:32 PM
I would be pissed if Dd1's teacher was giving her gummy anything. We have been through three cavities they are not fun. Candy shouldn't be used as a reward in school IMO. Treats from time to time at parties, that's OK with me but this sounds really excessive. If it were effecting my dd's behavior I would be even more upset.
I would send an email and feel her out. Let her know you aren't cool with this as it's not only unhealthy but effecting your dd's behavior in a negative way. Ask her if she has explored any other methods of rewarding the children (you know she has just not why she stopped using the trinkets...let her tell you about that). If she comes back bull headed about it I would probably go over her head.

Edensmum
11-03-2010, 05:52 PM
I would nicely mention that food as a reward is a concern to you for many reasons and that you aren't comfortable with this. Ask her if other items for the treasure box could be alternately supplied by parents, see if you can help It's possible she maybe didn't get a chance to shop and had the candy handy, everyone does right now.

crl
11-03-2010, 05:55 PM
I think I'd make the dentist the fall guy. Just say, after her last cavities, her dentist said no more sticky candy at all. Then I'd offer to go to the dollar store and refill the treat box with toy type stuff, hoping that that would help smooth things over.

Catherine

ehf
11-03-2010, 06:39 PM
It's too bad you can't find out the answer about why the treats have changed without contacting the teacher! If she has 20 pieces from Halloween that she's getting rid of, I'd probably just let it go. If the treats are going to be candy from now on, I'd say something.

If you do say something, I would just watch tone. If you think this is a terrible thing she's doing, she'll be able to tell, and she'll probably think you're over-reacting and start to tune you out. If you make it clear (without lengthy details) that this is something you just happen to be particularly concerned about, I think that's great and fine. She doesn't want to be doing something harmful to your child!

YouAreTheFocus
11-03-2010, 06:46 PM
...It's too bad you can't find out the answer about why the treats have changed without contacting the teacher! If she has 20 pieces from Halloween that she's getting rid of, I'd probably just let it go...

Yeah, this was my first thought too. Similar to the basket of leftovers that showed up in my office's kitchen on Monday!

peanut520
11-03-2010, 08:20 PM
i would not be happy either. i think i would talk to the teacher about it. here is another suggestion if it doesnt change. can you make a trade deal with dd? for every piece of candy she gets...10 minutes past baed time or a dime/quarter and gets to spend?

lalasmama
11-03-2010, 08:28 PM
La says the teacher went from the trinkets to the licorice because this class behaves better than this teacher's classes in the previous years, so she was giving out a lot of trinkets, which La tells me is "exmempfis" (expensive). "It was too exmempfis so she got licorice, and it was 100 pieces, and from Costco!" Not sure what La's current fascination with Costco is, LOL!

I have thought about just going and spending $10 or $15 at Dollar Tree and Party City to replenish the treasure chest, without even mentioning the licorice, but I don't want La to even have the licorice choice, ya know?

SnuggleBuggles
11-03-2010, 08:56 PM
I would suggest suggesting to your teacher that they move to a different reward system. It might be a discussion to have with administration, if need be. At ds1's school the whole class earns points for good behavior (it is not removed for bad behavior, btw). After they earn X number of points they get a special prize. The prizes are things like PJ day, dress down day (they wear uniforms), lunch in the classroom, no homework coupon, show and tell...these things get the kids really excited, cost no money and cause no cavities!

Beth

kmkaull
11-03-2010, 09:41 PM
I would suggest suggesting to your teacher that they move to a different reward system. It might be a discussion to have with administration, if need be. At ds1's school the whole class earns points for good behavior (it is not removed for bad behavior, btw). After they earn X number of points they get a special prize. The prizes are things like PJ day, dress down day (they wear uniforms), lunch in the classroom, no homework coupon, show and tell...these things get the kids really excited, cost no money and cause no cavities!

Beth

Agreed. As a teacher, I'm against token reward systems period. Reward them with extra recess or something. In my opinion, good behavior should be an expectation and not constantly reinforced with treats.