Am I depressed? Or just tired? (long, sorry)

[JoyNChrist]

Taking care of these babies is exhausting. More exhausting than I was prepared for, to be honest. I'm still pretty much exclusively breastfeeding, and it doesn't leave a whole lot of time for anything else. And getting them both to sleep at the same time at night so I can sleep is challenging, to say the least. DH helps as much as he can, but he leaves before daylight and gets home right at dark, so there's only so much he can do.

So anyway, I'm tired. Really really really REALLY tired. But...I have a toddler and infant twins, so that's pretty much to be expected.

My house is a wreck. I'm struggling to keep up with the bill paying and grocery shopping and cooking and all that. DS1 watches way more television than he should.

But I know all of that is temporary and will get better with time. What concerns me is my attitude.

Much of the time I'm fine. I do the best I can and let the rest slide. But then I have these moments when I just want to cry. Moments when I wonder why in the world we did this to ourselves. Some days I get up and get going and everything is great and I feel confident and competent and handle everything pretty well. But then some days I feel like a horrible mom and wife and can't see things ever getting any better.

My patience is also pretty thin. Things that DS1 does that wouldn't ordinarily bother me much now drive me crazy. There have been several times when I've yelled or spoken more harshly than the situation warranted, and had to go back and apologize (then felt like a horrible mother for that). I'm also a lot more short-tempered with DH. And I find myself worrying about things that I never worried about before (like our finances, which are in perfectly good shape, or really bizarre stuff, like how I'm going to be able to take care of my parents when they're older).

Is this PPD? Or just general irritability brought on by lack of sleep and all the demands on my time? I don't remember feeling this way with DS1 (and I remember feeling more bonded to him than I do to the babies), but then again it was a totally different situation.

Do I sound like I need meds or just a few good naps? I just feel so dumb about going to my doctor and being like "Um, I'm really tired and irritable. Am I depressed? Of course I only get 3 hours of sleep a night, so that might have a little something to do with it." ;)

[Kaylee31]

I think you are doing amazingly well under the circumstances! I can't imagine having infant twins & a toddler. One kid is a lot of work! It doesn't sound like you have PPD to me, you just need some rest and a break once in a while. I don't know your situation, but do you have family members who can help watch you DCs while you get stuff done or take a nap? Maybe a part-time babysitter or have a cleaning person come in once in a while? It just seems you're a little overwhelmed. Hang in there, I'm sure things will get easier as they get older.

[poohbear]

Sounds like you're overwhelmed, and I don't want to diminish that but I think you should see your doctor. You might want to have your thyroid checked. That can contribute to your tired feeling, listlessness, depression, etc....

[edurnemk]

Sounds like you're overwhelmed, and I don't want to diminish that but I think you should see your doctor. You might want to have your thyroid checked. That can contribute to your tired feeling, listlessness, depression, etc....

:yeahthat: At my recent checkup my doctor kind of "scolded" me for not getting a full check up after DS was born. He said pregnancy can trigger a lot of things, including thyroid and immune issues and every woman should get bloodwork and everything after having a baby. I don't know why OB's don't tell us this.

But I do think you must be overwhelmed at the very least, can you get some kind of help: friends, family, cleaning service, babysitter or even a mother's helper to help with DS1 while you nap? You need to take some time for yourself. I cannot tell you the difference that made for me. Once I went back to yoga and meditating my outlook did a 180. Well hiring a cleaning lady also contributed to that ;)

[wellyes]

Hang in there. You are doing a fantastic job. Really and truly fantastic. I think you are probably completely exhausted and spent. I think of PPD / depression as being more irrational... crying a lot, having no hope, knowing you're being irrational but not able to do anything about it. Irritation, being easy to anger, increased anxiety I think of as being more part of the torturous phase of taking care of new babies.

Can you call in some family or friends to give you a little more support?
No matter what, as the babies get older, it will get easier to get the sleep you desperately need.

[elizabethkott]

Oh Stacy, I'm right here with you! (except for the twins!)
Our darling little monsters are at the same age - both the older one and the new addition(s). J is watching too much tv too. And he is grating on every.last.nerve. I swear, I love my son, but most days I find I'm not liking him too much lately.
Talk to your DH - can he take the kiddos for one hour each night when he gets home just so you can have some well-deserved alone time? Or at least take two of the three? Or just the oldest? My DH just took J to the grocery store just to get him out of the house and out of my hair for a bit, and I swear its the first time I've heard blessed silence all day long. :) I'm going upstairs to try and get in a quick soak in the bath. :)
Be kind to yourself. You're doing great, mama.

ETA: Relaxing bath? Epic fail. Baby crying now. Off to nurse. Sigh. :D

[maestramommy]

At this moment I would say you are exhausted. With a capital "E." Seriously, 3 hours of sleep a night? It's a wonder you have good days.

I went through something similar after Laurel was born. It lasted for months until I started seeing a counselor. BUT what really turned the tide was getting a housecleaner and a sitter. I don't know if any of that is in your budget, but if I had to choose I would get a sitter, and clean house be damned. I'm sure it must be really hard EBFing twins, I can't imagine. :hug:

[SkyrMommy]

It sounds as though you are doing an amazing job... and are completely and totally tired. Just simply sleep deprived. I agree with the PP, is there a sitter or someone who can come in for even just an hour to give you some time to yourself to nap, shower, or sit in a chair in the corner of the room with a cup of cocoa and just be...

Many, many :hug: to you. I hope you get more rest and that lets your worries settle.

[WolfpackMom]

I think you are doing amazingly well under the circumstances! I can't imagine having infant twins & a toddler. One kid is a lot of work! It doesn't sound like you have PPD to me, you just need some rest and a break once in a while. I don't know your situation, but do you have family members who can help watch you DCs while you get stuff done or take a nap? Maybe a part-time babysitter or have a cleaning person come in once in a while? It just seems you're a little overwhelmed. Hang in there, I'm sure things will get easier as they get older.

:yeahthat: I cannot imagine having a toddler and twin babies, oh my goodness! You are doing a wonderful job and you are one tough chick coping with that little sleep. Please get a sitter, or a family member or friend to take over for even an hour to give you a rest. I think you need a recharge, big time! Remember you're doing a great job, and a little extra tv isn't going to hurt your LO!:thumbsup:

[Ceepa]

Oh, Mama! :hug: You have so much on your plate right now. I know you guys live near a lot of family and friends. Is there someone who can help out short-term with the babies or the house, even a mother's helper for Avery a couple times a week?

The main goal is to keep everyone fed and rested. If you and the three kids have to hang out in bed with books, snacks and nursing, do it.

Set up online bill payments, grocery delivery, when people offer to help with meals or babysitting accept their offers. They want to help.

I know you are super capable and you WILL find a new normal that works for your family, but right now cut yourself some slack and focus on basics - sane mama = easier times for all.

[Momof3Labs]

Want a laugh? Read this post of mine, when my girls were about 2 months old. The title is almost identical to yours. Yeah, I remember those days of 2.75hrs of sleep per night - and not in one stretch. Feeding newborn infants is time-consuming however you do it. Super time-consuming. You have a lot of family close by, right? Call in the reinforcements. Set up a schedule so that you have help as much as possible. People love to hold babies so that you can spend a few quality minutes with Avery (soooo important). You need as much help as people will give you!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=335310&highlight=depression

Hang in there, and LMK if you need a sympathetic ear!!

[elephantmeg]

could Avery go to preschool 3 mornings a week? That would give him some outside stimulation and burn off some energy and give you some "down time". If you can double that with a relative to hold babies you might really get a break!

[sste]

I totally agree with pps about calling family/hiring help/preschool.

My first child I had some form of PPD. However, when I look back on it I think WTH who would not have been depressed in that situation?! I had pretty demanding baby (nursed every 90 minutes to 2 hours for a good two months), next to zero family help, my dh worked 12 hour days and often was gone for 35 hours at a time, it was the coldest winter in recorded history in my city, my car died and I couldn't replace it for several months, and I was recovering from a c-section, etc. And living in a third floor walk-up!

This pregnancy I had an awful delivery and objectively you would think this would be the time I would get PPD. However, the one silver lining was that we had no choice but to set up a schedule of 30 hours per week of nanny care as I couldn't lift or drive for almost two months. And we have our DS in preschool so the nanny was just taking care of the new baby and quite frankly of me! The nanny does all the laundry, cleaning, when I am tired brings me the baby in bed to nurse then whisks her away so I can nap. This allows me to spend my time playing with the baby and trying to reassemble my postpartum self. Before I thought it was impossible to enjoy the newborn period. Now, if I was endlessly wealthy I would give every new mom the gift of part-time household help.

So, this is a long way of saying I wonder sometimes if some significant portion of this epidemic of PPD is due to women being in impossible and grueling situations with limited family support (which is a change from previous generations). If you can swing it, hire someone. Or call in those relatives!

[tiapam]

So, this is a long way of saying I wonder sometimes if some significant portion of this epidemic of PPD is due to women being in impossible and grueling situations with limited family support (which is a change from previous generations). If you can swing it, hire someone. Or call in those relatives!

Yes, I think this is so true now. Many people move away from family now by choice or not and then there is not that readily available help nearby.

Stacy, I would get your thyroid checked. I remember you having some issues in the past, before you got pregnant, did you ever get tested then?

Also, pretty obvious but you have got to eat a lot and drink a ton of water to keep up with nursing two babies. Taking care of you comes before the house.

[gatorsmom]

I dont' have much time but I wanted to respond. YOU HAVE TWINS!!!! This is not PPD, this is life with twins. They are so exceptionally hard. And exclusively breastfeeding twins mean that you will be at home all the time doing nothing but bfing them. I understand, I've been there. I feel like I did not really emerge from the house for the first 6 months while I was bfing. It was so hard for me. I really wanted to get the twins on a feeding schedule like I did with my older 2 babies so that I could get out and do stuff. But I was never able to do it. I had successfully bfed my older 2 boys for a year and had them on a feeding schedule (first every hour and a half then every 2 then ever 3 hours) fairly early. I had plenty of experience with getting my babies to eat at regular intervals. With the twins it never happened. I ended up weaning them to formula at 7 months. It made my life much easier.

If there is any way you can get help for getting things done around the house, now is the time to use it. You know all those people who said, "if there is anything I can do for you..." well now is the time to use them. Seriously, YOU HAVE TWINS!!! Dont be proud, take the offers of help. Give someone a list and some money to do your grocery shopping, have them help you fold your mountains of laundry, leave someone with the twins and a couple of bottles of breast milk while you take Avery to the park for an hour. Or take a nap. Call all those people and ask for help. You really need it right now. Believe me, I know. And any time you start to feel like a bad mom or down on yourself. Dont. YOU HAVE TWINS! It's so hard.

You won't get everything done in your house that needs to be done for the next 2 years. Don't even aim that high or you'll die trying. I know this is a very hard time right now and you are doing very well. But this time will pass too. Eventually they get easier, I promise.

Just wanted to emphasize that you don't need meds. You don't need your thyroid checked (well maybe you do, I don't know), but you are simple EXHAUSTED. Twins have been the hardest thing I've ever experienced. And still am experiencing at nearly 3yo. You don't remember being this exhausted and irritable with Avery because you weren't. TWINS ARE HARD. Nobody gets it but us moms of multiples. I'm sorry, I've had 2 singletons and there is just no comparison to multiples.

I really suggest joining a Moms of Multiples group. You need to hear from other moms of multiples just how much your suffering and exhaustion right now is normal.

:hug: big, big hugs. It will get better, I promise.

[brittone2]

So, this is a long way of saying I wonder sometimes if some significant portion of this epidemic of PPD is due to women being in impossible and grueling situations with limited family support (which is a change from previous generations).
DH and I talk about this all of the time. I think it is a major contributor to depression in mothers in general.

Hang in there Stacy! Life w/ a newborn and transitioning to more than one child is hard on any mama. Throw in twins, and well, I can only imagine how challenging it must be.

You'll find a new groove, but in the meantime get all of the help you can and don't be shy about asking for it. Definitely keep your standards low...keep everyone alive and get through it day by day.

[amldaley]

I wanted to reply to you yesterday but I was too busy/tired/depressed (that was meant to be funny, but really it's not now that I think about it!)

Honestly? It could be both. But I def. think it is more tired. Have I noticed you are not your old self? Yeah, a little. Would I be managing half as well as you are? Not a chance. You are doing a great job. And it WILL be EXHAUSTING (I have to imagine) for quite a while to come.

But let's go back to that other part....YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!

Be good to yourself. Sleep when you can, hydrate well and get some good nutrition into your body. Clean fuel = clean energy. And talk to your Doctor.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[JBaxter]

I wanted to add that your doing an awesome job.

Right now your job should be keeping kids fed and clean. ;) IF the laundry gets done great you wouldnt be the first mom to tell your husband which clothes basket he needs to look in for his socks.

Is there anyone who can come in as a moms helper for a few hours a couple times a week?

[wendibird22]

I'm inclined to say that it's a result of utter exhaustion. I know when I'm sleep deprived I am much more easy to provoke into tears or anger. When DD2 was born, DD1 was 2.5yo and I can remember days of standing in the shower sobbing on days when I had been up most of the night before. Still now, the days DD2 is up a portion of the night, I'm just not in a good frame of mind. Getting adequate sleep is so important. I agree with PPs to call in the reserves...family, friends, a neighbor kid who can keep your toddler occupied. And go easy on yourself. Heck if you have to switch to paper products so that you don't have dishes to wash do it!

[egoldber]

So, this is a long way of saying I wonder sometimes if some significant portion of this epidemic of PPD is due to women being in impossible and grueling situations with limited family support (which is a change from previous generations).

I truly believe this. In this time, I think people/families are incredibly stressed to the max. Given that caregiving and family juggling falls largely to women, I think they are feeling the brunt of this.

I know that when I had younger DD who nursed all.the.time for months, had reflux and didn't nap and didn't sleep for more than 1-2 hours at a time until she was 15 months old, and then would only sleep ON me or NEXT to me, I thought I would go crazy at that time!

And then if I had twins....... :dizzy:

I agree OP, I think you would be amazed at what a solid 2 weeks of sleep and help would do for you. :hug:

[Tondi G]

HUGS mama..... I agree with everything the other ladies have posted so far. Call in the reinforcements.... family... call in friends... you need HELP! Help with cooking meals (or at least getting stuff prepped so you can pop it in the crockpot or oven and have dinner/lunch on the table quickly) , entertaining your toddler, entertaining/holding babies, letting you get in a shower or a nap, cleaning house (doing dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming.. whatever someone can do, let em do it).

Try to get more rest (I know easier said than done... I laughed at my pediatrician when he told me this). Are you getting ANY time without a baby or child on you? Even a quiet walk around the neighborhood will help (and make you happy to see/be with your babies again). Are you taking your prenatal still? Fish Oils (there are studies that have shown it can make a huge difference for Post Partum women and depression)... Vitamin D. Have your thyroid checked, just to make sure you are alright in that dept.

Hang in there... things will get better when the babies are sleeping more and are have a more predictable routine. Use those bouncy chairs and swings and gymini's. Don't feel bad about Avery watching more tv than usual. Try to make it enriching tv as much as you can and try to sneak a few minutes for him in your day for some snuggles and one on one.

If you truly feel like it might be PPD and are ok with taking meds while BFing the twins then talk to your doctor. You know yourself better than anyone. For me I had anxiety and panic attacks after DS2 so it was more than simply feeling down and exhausted. I would finally get DS to sleep and then couldn't sleep myself... I had a hard time eating. It was terrible... and I knew that meds were the answer (they made a world of difference).

[Andi98989]

I would go and talk to your doctor. The fact that to me you're questioning whether it's PPD versus "just" being tired, is a tip-off to me. If you aren't feeling like you any more, there's a problem going on.

PPD comes in many forms, and everyone experiences it differently. Personally, I didn't have blues per-say. I was a.n.g.r.y. and anxious and frustrated. All the time. When DS would being a bit of a pain during a diaper change, I wanted to just scream at him. I was always second-guessing myself, always feeling angry, and like I just wasn't good enough of a mom to DS when he would be fussing.

There are a few bloggers that I follow who turned out to have PPD. They actually did an online "rally." That was my wake-up call. I was reading their stories and relating entirely too much to them. I printed some out and took them to my doctor. She was fabulous. She knows me quite well and agreed that I just wasn't me any more. That something was wrong. She asked me if I was still doing the things I enjoyed doing. I couldn't come up with anything. At all. That was scary to me. She did test my thyroid, got me started on some meds, and a referral to therapy. I felt like a new woman within two weeks. And I remembered that I enjoyed baking. I couldn't tell you the last time I had baked a batch of cookies.

Now? I love being with B. We have fun together! We get out of the house just the two of us and it's fine. I've been in treatment for 4 months now and really feel like I'm back to my "baseline." I'm going to therapy once a month instead of every 2 weeks, and I'm weaning off my meds.

So sure, you could be "just" exhausted. But if you feel like it's more than that, don't hesitate to talk to your doctor about it. I regret not going in earlier than I did.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Others have given great advice! I think some hired help is in order. It really helped me survive with three very close. Last year, I begged and prayed for any warm body to come help me just hold the baby or read to the 1 or 3yo during the day. A lovely older woman from our church heard of my need and just came over willingly 3x/week. I love her. It was SO great to get to know her and let her love on my babies.

When we had no help (in the first couple weeks) we hired a PP doula who suggested the 1) asking for help and 2) Once A Month Cooking. I got this book from Sam's Club http://www.amazon.com/Once-Month-Cooking-Family-Favorites/dp/0312534043 and hired someone to watch the DC while I did the food prep all afternoon/evening for a day or so. I ordered the groceries online, and DH did the cleanup. It made me be able to sit back and nurse in the afternoons without worrying about what to cook for dinner. I consider it one of those things that I will keep doing long term to keep me from being exhausted.

Have three LOs is hard. Having twins is harder than singletons, but I don't doubt you are flat out exhausted, even with your youthfulness :)

[twowhat?]

It really sounds pretty normal to me. We just have twins, but that first 8 months (when they started STTN for us) was ROUGH. I'd break down and cry for no reason. DH and I snapped at each other all the time. We'd snap at our family who came to help (and they still love us, somehow). It got significantly better around 6 months when we only had 1 feeding to do at night. Then another jump to significantly better when they STTN. It will get better, I promise! In the meantime, totally agree with rounding up ANY AND ALL the help you can get. I think if MIL weren't cooking for us at that time, I'd be dead today. For real. There was no way I could come up with enough food for myself, esp while breastfeeding and with the INSANE amount of hunger I felt.

BIG HUGS to you! I know how hard it is, and for you it must be even harder since you're juggling a toddler!!

eta: oh and for my first trip out of the house, to go to target while DH watched the babies, I had forgotten how to get out of the house. Really. I went out in a nursing tank, lounge pants (and nothing else). I bought more maternity clothes when I was there (cuz I still had a 5 months pregnant belly). I picked up some diaper rash cream. I went to check out. No purse. No wallet. No drivers license. Nothing.

[Melaine]

I guess I am always torn responding to these threads. To me, what you are saying sounds totally normal. But, then again, I did wind up being diagnosed with GAD when the girls were about 5 months old...so I'm not sure how helpful my opinion is. It is so hard and so stressful and just....miserable really. Honestly, it sounds like you are really on top of things to me. I didn't have any help and in retrospect I guess I should have tried to get some. Things will get better, though. You can do it!

[twowhat?]

I guess I am always torn responding to these threads. To me, what you are saying sounds totally normal. But, then again, I did wind up being diagnosed with GAD when the girls were about 5 months old...so I'm not sure how helpful my opinion is. It is so hard and so stressful and just....miserable really. Honestly, it sounds like you are really on top of things to me. I didn't have any help and in retrospect I guess I should have tried to get some. Things will get better, though. You can do it!

I'm curious what you think about your situation, Melaine. Sometimes I believe that having twins really can push someone over the edge into a clinical depression or anxiety. Do you think you would have had the same diagnosis if you had a singleton? I hope I'm not coming across in the wrong way or anything...just genuinely curious. For the same reason that statistically, divorce rates are higher among parents with twins. The stress really can have a huge impact on life, in general.

Miserable is a good way to describe it. All those times people would tell me to enjoy them because they grow so fast, all I could think of was "WHEN WILL THIS EVER END???" LOL! I still think "when will this ever end!" I guess that answers my question:)

[ThreeofUs]

Stacie, I have to say I ended up in a really bad place after 2 years of not getting enough sleep. The sleep - at least one 5 hour stretch per night - is just so important. The lack thereof will change your hormonal pattern, your thyroid, your temper, and your patience levels. You will also get severely depressed.

Do what you can to get enough sleep. See if you can get help at night, even if it's a post-partum doula. You do not want to end up where I was.

Sending you hugs, p&pts.

[hillview]

I went through this after DS2 was born. I was a mess. I don't think I had PPD (I did go see my therapist) I was just SO SO tired. I had to work with DH to get 2 good nights sleep. It didn't cure it all but made a big difference. I was pretty bitchy for about 9 months after DS2 arrived. It DOES get better. For me it was really totally tied to lack of sleep.

HUGS you are doing a great job. Go see your doc and get a medical opinion.

Hang in there!
/hillary

[Melaine]

I'm curious what you think about your situation, Melaine. Sometimes I believe that having twins really can push someone over the edge into a clinical depression or anxiety. Do you think you would have had the same diagnosis if you had a singleton? I hope I'm not coming across in the wrong way or anything...just genuinely curious. For the same reason that statistically, divorce rates are higher among parents with twins. The stress really can have a huge impact on life, in general.

Miserable is a good way to describe it. All those times people would tell me to enjoy them because they grow so fast, all I could think of was "WHEN WILL THIS EVER END???" LOL! I still think "when will this ever end!" I guess that answers my question:)


No worries, it doesn't bother me at all....it's something I've thought a lot about. And I'm not sure. At first I really thought the anxiety thing was temporary. But now I really can see that I have had symptoms my whole life. However, up until having the girls I really was able to cope without outside help/meds for the most part. For the first couple years after they were born, I needed some extra help to cope, for sure. And it does seem to be a downward spiral. Knowing you are prone to anxiety brings more anxiety, yk? So getting out of it can be more difficult for that reason.

I think it's great that we can have these conversations. Because there wasn't really anyone IRL I could talk to about it at the time, and honestly, it was only relatively recently that I found myself able to be honest about the first couple years. Because they were just plain miserable. Period. I loved the girls and was glad to be a mom, but the vast majority of the time my internal dialogue was just what you said, "When will this ever end?" and everything was just so negative. So, to answer your question, maybe I wouldn't be on meds right now if I had a singleton, but I think the diagnosis would stand. Just might not have spiraled out of control quite so quickly.

[inmypjs]

Stacie, I have to say I ended up in a really bad place after 2 years of not getting enough sleep. The sleep - at least one 5 hour stretch per night - is just so important. The lack thereof will change your hormonal pattern, your thyroid, your temper, and your patience levels. You will also get severely depressed.

Do what you can to get enough sleep.

I agree with this completely. I was not well at all after my first was born. My sleep duration was about 2-4 hour at a time for the better part of 5 months. I was a mess. Once I began to get sleep again, my symptoms improved and then disappeared. Sleep deprivation can turn us into totally different people!

I would talk with your DH about a plan for you to get 5-6 hour stretches of sleep - however you can. Then see how you are functioning. If it does not improve, I'd see your doctor. I am also a counselor FWIW.

I am not in your shoes, but wanted to say that I think you're doing great. It will get better!

[Tondi G]

No worries, it doesn't bother me at all....it's something I've thought a lot about. And I'm not sure. At first I really thought the anxiety thing was temporary. But now I really can see that I have had symptoms my whole life. However, up until having the girls I really was able to cope without outside help/meds for the most part. For the first couple years after they were born, I needed some extra help to cope, for sure. And it does seem to be a downward spiral. Knowing you are prone to anxiety brings more anxiety, yk? So getting out of it can be more difficult for that reason.

I think it's great that we can have these conversations. Because there wasn't really anyone IRL I could talk to about it at the time, and honestly, it was only relatively recently that I found myself able to be honest about the first couple years. Because they were just plain miserable. Period. I loved the girls and was glad to be a mom, but the vast majority of the time my internal dialogue was just what you said, "When will this ever end?" and everything was just so negative. So, to answer your question, maybe I wouldn't be on meds right now if I had a singleton, but I think the diagnosis would stand. Just might not have spiraled out of control quite so quickly.

This was me with DS2. When I discussed my panic attacks and anxiety with my doctor I came to the realization that I have been prone to anxiety (and had panic attacks a couple of times before in my life but didn't know what it was) since my childhood but had always been able to power through it without outside help. It is amazing how knowing you are prone to anxiety can bring on more anxiety. I am not currently on medication but I have had times where I've seriously considered going back on them. I know that "if" we ever decided to have a 3rd child I would probably have to do so with some kind of medication involved.... and thats a bummer. Anxiety SUCKS!

[JoyNChrist]

Want a laugh? Read this post of mine, when my girls were about 2 months old. The title is almost identical to yours. Yeah, I remember those days of 2.75hrs of sleep per night - and not in one stretch. Feeding newborn infants is time-consuming however you do it. Super time-consuming. You have a lot of family close by, right? Call in the reinforcements. Set up a schedule so that you have help as much as possible. People love to hold babies so that you can spend a few quality minutes with Avery (soooo important). You need as much help as people will give you!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=335310&highlight=depression

Hang in there, and LMK if you need a sympathetic ear!!

This makes me feel so much better! I was feeling like maybe I wasn't handling it as well as other people would...glad to know this is normal. :)

Thanks everyone! Some of your responses literally made me tear up. I think you're right that I'm probably just exhausted. I'm going to start trying to take advantage of help more often. And I have an appointment with my family doctor Monday anyway (I became severely anemic with this pregnancy, so we're making sure we have that under control), so I'm going to ask about having my thyroid checked and see what he thinks about PPD.