s/o so who raised you? (or took care of you)

[AnnieW625]

besides your parents?

My mom was a SAHM until I was 17 and then she went back to work part time. She didn't work full time until I was 20 (bro. was 18, and little sister was 10) so I never had a nanny or went to daycare. We had baby sitters for my parents date nights and I loved having baby sitters.

My DH was watched by his mom's aunt until he was 4 and then he went to preschool/daycare until 1st grade. From first grade on he and his brother were either picked up by their grandparents, or he would walk home from school with his brother who was 5 yrs. older so they were latch key kids.

[daisymommy]

My mother quit her job as a nurse practitioner to be a SAHM when she had me. She raised me and my brother, and my Dad pitched in nights and weekends. My brother and I went to school when we turned 5 (Kindy) but nothing before then. We had babysitters for my parents date night, which was few and far between times.

[maestramommy]

My mom was a SAHM until I was 8. But my grandmother lived with us for many years, and although she didn't do personal caregiving for us (feed, change, bathe, etc), she was there in case anything happened, and she did do some fun things, like teach us songs, give us treats, pray with us occasionally at night. After she went to live with my cousins, we did have an older girl stay with us few a couple of hours after school until my mom got home each day. That lasted until I was in Jr high I think. Then we were on our own. My lil bro was 1 when my mom went to work, and he was 5 when we started watching ourselves. he went to daycare then nursery school when my mom started working.

[WolfpackMom]

For quite awhile my Dad worked days and my Mom worked nights (back when they could not afford childcare), othertimes we had daycare or a sitter, others we had afterschool programs etc... We moved around a lot because of my dad's work so sometimes my mom was just home or working part time, but most of the time both were working and we had school then after/day care or were on our own (late elm-middle school and older).

ETA: I know OP, that you aren't saying anything negative about having help etc. but since this steams from the thread where many people were very opinionated about having someone else "raise their kids for them" and thats the terminology this thread uses....My parents "raised me," regardless of having some daycare or babysitting, or afterschool programs or whatever. They provided love, and a home, and my basic needs and then some, they didn't have someone else acting as a "replacement" (as some might put it) for them and didn't neglect me by having outside care. And I turned out just fine TYVM!

[AJP]

My mom sold her business when I was born and raised us as a sahm till the 3 of us were in school full time. When she started working again she worked "mothers hours" at my dads business. She started working "full time" when we were all in HS.
My DH's mom worked Shen he was young and his grandmother watched him. When he was in school ft his mother had "mothers hours" and later she worked more.

[egoldber]

My mother was a SAHM. Honestly, I think it would have been a lot healthier for all of us if she had not been.

[Corie]

My mom was a SAHM until her youngest child was in 1st grade.

She stayed home for about 12 years.

[JoyNChrist]

Both my parents worked full-time. I was in daycare 8-10 hours a day until I started kindergarten. My mom did take off for one year when I was in second grade and was home with me after school and all summer. I remember loving it, but then my parents divorced when I was 8 and she had to go back to work full-time. I started staying by myself after school and during the summers when I was in 5th grade (including some nights when my mom worked shift work - she's a police officer).

I remember hating daycare, which largely influenced my decision to be a SAHM (not a commentary on anyone else's decision - I know many kids who thrive in daycare - just what influenced my personal decision).

Honestly, though, I'd say I largely raised myself. My parents were both pretty absent a lot of the time. I had to grow up pretty fast.

[kijip]

Mostly my mom. My dad was around a lot because of different decisions to go to school and unemployment. I briefly went to aftercare type thing when my mom decided to go to college for a bit. Then when she was in school when I was 11 I was a latchkey kid. As a baby and young child she was home with us all the time. Not ideal for her or us. I don't recall ever having a babysitter. My brother was 6 years older so I think they left us alone sometimes afer he was about 12, mostly for church stuff or we might go to the church nursery during bible study etc. I think they went on two dates in 18 years. Their marriage was not a happy one.

[JBaxter]

My mom had her own business at home till I was 10 we didnt have childcare except the occasional trip to grandmas. At 12 then mom went back to college and I got to take over all the house and child care duties for my younger siblings.

[mommylamb]

My mom worked PT when I was little, but was FT by the time my sister was here. My dad worked FT. While we both had daycare, and we had lots of other important adults in our lives, my parents raised us. There is no question in my mind on that fact.

[Cam&Clay]

My mother was a SAHM. Honestly, I think it would have been a lot healthier for all of us if she had not been.

:yeahthat:

I feel the same way! She needed an activity other than getting into my business, especially when I was older!

[Melanie]

Just my mom. She was a SAHM until I was in Jr. High School. At that point I would come home after school on my own (I rode the school bus). Sometimes my Dad would be home, sometimes not. He had odd hours. Regardless of age, the times he was in charge of me equated me playing alone while he watched television all day. On rare occasions my mom would do some freelance work when I was younger and I'd have a babysitter or she would take me to Grandma's house. They didn't live super close so that was usually for sleepovers, which I loved. A few years after she went back to work, they divorced but by then I was nearly old enough to drive and keep an eye on myself. I was a fairly "good" kid, but I still hope I can be around for my kids during the teen years when they are not in school. Even good kids use poor judgement now and then. ;)

[khalloc]

My mom was a SAHM when we were real little. Then once I went to preschool, and brother was in Kindergarten I believe she worked part time. Her BFF took car of me for an hour or so when preschool let out. She would pick me up there. I dont think it was every day. Once I went to kindergarten/grade school, my mom worked till about 2pm I think. My dad also worked different shifts, so if I carpooled home with another family, he may have been the one who was home when i came home because for a period of time he worked 4pm-midnight. When I got older, 7th + grades I think my mom came home around 4:30 or so. My brother and I probably got home around 3pm and were home for 60-90 minutes until my mom came home, but that might have also been when my dad didnt start work till 4pm. its all a haze...but I never really went to daycare.

[dogmom]

My mother was a SAHM. Honestly, I think it would have been a lot healthier for all of us if she had not been.

Yeah, that. Until 6th grade, then my Mom went back to school and started working. However, she worked night shifts, so she still did all the work, which probably didn't help the marriage and she eventually left when I was a Senior in HS.

[hellokitty]

My mother was a SAHM. Honestly, I think it would have been a lot healthier for all of us if she had not been.

:yeahthat: My mom hated being a sahm. She is not happy that I chose to be a sahm and is very verbal about letting me know her feelings on this topic.

[hillview]

My mom was a SAHM til I was about 3 and then we had a sitter.
/hillary

[pinkmomagain]

My mom was a SAHM until I was probably in college! Dad worked 6-7 days a week. Love and appreciate her sooooo much. She still provides a sense of support and security that is irreplaceable, even as an adult. I'll be forever grateful.

[HannaAddict]

My mom and I stayed with my grandma (mom's mom) during the day as a toddler when my mom had to go to work to support us. My mom also started a licensed in home daycare so she could stay home with my baby brother and did that until he started kindergarten, then went back part-time (half day kindergarten). Then full time when we were both in school. One or two babysitters ever, for the count on one hand times my mom went out with friends.

[Melaine]

After I was born, my mom went back to work for 2 weeks and came home one day to find that my babysitter had not buckled my carseat on an outing because she didn't want "the metal to be too hot against her skin". She quit and never went back and homeschooled us too. My dad was almost always working 2 jobs but he was very present in our home as well and did a lot of the child-rearing stuff too. I have to say that our local church family was also very responsible for my upbringing. In a very good way.

[smilequeen]

My mom was home until my younger brother started K. Then she worked (she was a teacher).

I had 3 grandparents around and we were with them a lot as kids. We had occasional babysitters. In school, we had an afterschool babysitter until my mom got home from her school.

I'm so thankful for the other people who were around. We moved back to my hometown so that my children could have grandparents involved :)

[egoldber]

She needed an activity other than getting into my business, especially when I was older!

Well, in our case it was more that my dad was controlling and emotionally abusive. He made her be a SAHM (she was in nursing school when they got married) and it made us all extremely isolated and left her with zero power in the relationship. I think life could have been really different for her, me and my siblings if she had maintained some control and power.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

mostly my mom. she was a SAHM until I was 14. my mom pretty much did everything for us (my brother & I) and the household (did all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc). My dad wasn't around a ton to help, especially from ages 3 to 8, when he was working FT plus going to night school to get his master's. Even after that, i remember most (if not all) our dinners on the weekdays would be just my mom , my brother and I. We didn't live around family and my dad never wanted to hire outside help (or didn't think they could afford it), so my parents RARELY went out alone. I remember my parents both being very stressed out and fighting pretty often.

[fivi2]

My mother was a SAHM. Honestly, I think it would have been a lot healthier for all of us if she had not been.

:yeahthat: Pretty much, except my mom did eventually go back to work after my parents' divorce (I was maybe 11?) And it wasn't much better. I

[elephantmeg]

My mom was a SAHM and dad was a workaholic. However mom was emotionally pretty absent. I remember a lot more about dad's interactions with us. I remember him giving us baths, teaching us stuff, working on school projects. I remember mom yelling, nagging and reading endless books. Mom went back to school when I was in HS to get her master's in counselling but still has not found a job she can do/enjoys

[catsnkid]

I was in daycare till I was 4 1/2. It was a home based but later on I also went to preschool w/ an aftercare component on some days. Then my sister was born and she became a SAHM for 10 years. My parents raised me, I had a grandfather that lived with us for 7 years. DS was in daycare full time for his first year, and for the 2 months he spends 2 days week with grandma.

[MontrealMum]

My parents raised me. That's not to say that they didn't have an extensive kinship network to draw upon, but ultimately, it was my parents that did the raising and parenting.

My mom was a SAHM until I was in 2nd grade, and then she went back to work as a sub on a very PT basis (she's a teacher). She went back to school to get her Special Ed. certs when I was in Jr. High while also working FT, and my dad took over a lot of the running of the house and ferrying me around. I had three local grandparents and a great aunt that provided a lot of support. I don't think they left me with a non-family member until I was 9 or 10 at least though they did go out on a regular basis.

[mousemom]

Lots of people. Probably most credit goes to my Mom, who worked PT teaching evening classes at the local community college, so was home with us during the day. She was the most involved in our lives, volunteered at my school, did all kinds of stuff with and for me. From grade school on, I also spent a lot of time with my Dad b/c I commuted 30 minutes to an hour to and from school with him most days. We all had dinner together pretty much every night (my Mom would leave stuff in the crockpot most nights that she was working). My grandparents lived two houses down the block from us, so my grandmother was really like a second mother to me and she always watched us/made dinner for us if my Mom was working and my Dad had a meeting or something. I wish that we lived closer to family so that DS could have that kind of family support.

[ett]

My mom was a full time WOHM in Taiwan until I was 6. My grandmother or aunt watched me while my parent were working. I started full day school when I was 3. When we moved to the US at age 6, my mom stayed at home full time until I was in middle school at which point she went back to work full time. My dad is a professor so he has a flexible schedule and was home a lot during the summer. Both my sister and I have a very close relationship with our parents, despite my mother working full time during the first 6 years of my life.

[Raidra]

My mom was single when she had me, so she had to work. She found a nice older woman to watch me in her home during the day. My mom remembers me saying that I wanted to go and live with 'Aunt Lorraine' when I was mad. We lived with my grandmother at the time, but I don't think she helped my mom out too much.

Then I was in preschool, and then school. My sister was born when I was 7, and soon after my mom started working nights in the ER and doing daycare during the day, so she could be home with my sister. That was a really stressful period.. my mom was exhausted and money was really, really tight.

When my sister went to school, my mom started working days. I was old enough by then to watch her after school if necessary, but my grandmother lived with us for much of our childhoods, so she was always around if we needed her.

We always had extended family living with us, usually my grandparents but sometimes also my aunt and her family. I don't think my parents ever went out at night.. we certainly didn't have non-family babysitters except when I was very little.

My parents raised me.. there were other caregivers around, and while I'm sure I really loved 'Aunt Lorraine' when I was little, I don't remember that too much.

[niccig]

My mother did most of the care giving work. She worked with my father in the family business. If she wasn't home when we got home from school, my grandmother (Dad's mum) lived next door. My mother was asleep most mornings and it was my older sister that got us up and ready for school most days - she's only 2 yrs older than me so it was an 8 yr old making sure a 6 yr old and a 5 yr old ate breakfast, got dressed for school and walked with us to school.

Mum went back to work as a teacher when she divorced Dad, I was about 13 yrs old, and we would go home after school by ourselves. For some of that time we lived next door to my mother's parents, so there was often another adult around. But still we got ourselves ready in the morning. I went to the same highschool my mother taught at, and my younger sister and I would have to wake her up telling her we would all be late for school if she didn't get up and get dressed and drive us to school...

I make DS breakfast every day, sometimes a cooked breakfast, and I pack his lunch every day. Both my siblings have positive comments about me doing this, mostly because it was foreign experience in our childhood...we all now think my mother struggled with depression, which makes sense living with my Dad.

[mom_hanna]

We had a nanny/housekeeper until my brother was maybe 11? Both my parents worked full-tiime+. We then were "latchkey" kids - my brother watched us after school until my parents came home around 6pm. We were fine - we had a lot of fun together, watched tv when we weren't supposed to, etc. My mom definitely raised us though. Even though my parents were together, my dad was pretty non-involved with us.

[BabyBearsMom]

Both my parents WOH full time. I went to day care or stayed at a neighbor's house. Regardless of who may have watched me during the day, my parents raised me. My DD goes to daycare now, but I have no doubt that I am the one raising her and not her daycare providers. Sorry, this is a prickly topic to me.

[lmh2402]

my mom was a teacher. she went out on extended maternity leave for me and by the time leave was up, she was about to have my brother...and so on for two more kids after that (four total)

she was home until the youngest kid was in 2nd or 3rd grade.

and then she counted on my brothers to keep an eye on our little sister until she could get home from teaching. it wasn't very long...maybe an hour or so.

but it was a mistake. my sister took a lot of abuse during that hour. she actually has voiced a lot of resentment toward my mom over it in recent years...

[edurnemk]

My mom worked PT until I was about 2 yo, she left me with my grandmother a few hours every day. After that she was a SAHM. For a large part of my childhood, when we lived in countries where they could afford it, my mom had help, i.e. live-in maids. A lot of people in those places have live-in nannies, but my mom preferred help around the house and taking care of us herself, although these maids would help out with us for some periods of time (while my mom ran errands, watch me and my older brother while my mom fed my baby brother, etc).

My grandmother and aunts helped out a lot, watching us during evenings if my parents were going out, when they travelled, etc. After my grandmother died, sometimes an aunt would help. When we lived away from family my mom relied heavily in the helpers she had or close friends. When I was in HS I'd babysit my brothers when needed.

[hellokitty]

Well, in our case it was more that my dad was controlling and emotionally abusive. He made her be a SAHM (she was in nursing school when they got married) and it made us all extremely isolated and left her with zero power in the relationship. I think life could have been really different for her, me and my siblings if she had maintained some control and power.

Sadly, this is the same situation with my mom, except she was an experienced nurse. She tried to work, but my dad made life as miseravle as possible for her, so she ended up quitting. She is still married to the ape, I don't know why, b/c she used to use us kids as an excuse, but now it's like she's too afraid to be alone, and would rather just put up with my dad. We've been trying to talk her into getting a divorce since we were in elem school.

[scriptkitten]

both of my parents.

my mom stayed home, or helped my dad with his businesses until we were in middle school when she went back to work part time.

my dad was a jack of all trades with various self-owned businesses and projects.. so when my mom was working, my dad was filling in the gaps.

they were both around a LOT

[HIU8]

My mom was a SAHM. Even with her PT business from the house she was always there when we got home. She did not take a full time job until I was a junior in high school. By that time the three of us came home and were by ourselves for about 2 hours. I cooked the dinner every night so it was ready (or mostly ready when my mom got home--my dad didn't get home until after 8 pm every night). I vowed never to put my kids in daycare b/c my aunt and uncle did it (b/c they really didn't want the children they had). However, both DS and DD have been in daycare or preschool with aftercare b/c I have had to work either full or PT so that we can live. To be honest, they are so much the better for it.

[codex57]

Grandpa til I was 2 or so. Then a housekeeper until I was 8ish? Basically was home alone until 14? I'm skinny cuz after the housekeeper was gone, there was no food in the house. I don't really remember family dinners until about 13 or 14.

I wasn't abandoned. It was just life. Dad had to work a ton cuz he was supporting a ton of people. Not sure what the hell my mom was up to. She didn't really have a job after she had me. Just dabbled in a ton of random crap. By the time I was 13 or 14, my mom spent all her time with my sister's athletic career so they were always gone.

I was a boring kid and my mom did an EXCELLENT job in lining up my schools so they never really had anything to worry about once I hit 5th grade. Sounds a lot worse than it was.

[brgnmom]

my grandparents raised me & my sister when we were infants/toddlers, and they lived with us. I was close to them and grieved when they both passed away from cancer later during my childhood & in high school. my parents worked full-time and had demanding jobs - my dad still works even though he technically could retire. my mom has always worked full-time outside the home and likes to keep busy. for a few years though, I think she tried to be home earlier (mid-afternoon versus by dinner time). we rarely took family trips together b/c of my parents' demanding work schedules.

as a result, I've chosen to be a SAHM even though based on my academic background (undergrad & grad schools), I would be expected to be a WOHM. my OB and even primary care physician both commented how they think it would be a real shame if I didn't make the most of my career potential, etc. But quite frankly, I know that time is a limiting factor and I really would rather invest most of my time in raising my own kids and being there for my DH who is in a stressful profession. I can always pursue my career goals later on.

[smiles33]

Both my parents WOH full time. I went to day care or stayed at a neighbor's house. Regardless of who may have watched me during the day, my parents raised me. My DD goes to daycare now, but I have no doubt that I am the one raising her and not her daycare providers. Sorry, this is a prickly topic to me.

:yeahthat:

[elektra]

My parents raised me and my mom was especially involved in all my sports stuff- she was always the manager of my teams until the time I was about 14. She was a WOHM and I don't know how she found the time. We did eat at McDonald's a lot!
We were also in daycare, which I wasn't a huge fan of, but it wasn't horrible.
I am also proud of my mom for having her career and becoming very successful in her line of work. She would have been a horrible SAHM.
My dad worked a lot too, but was also very loving and devoted as a dad.
We never had babysitters. I remember staying with my grandmother a handful of times but that's it.

[swissair81]

My father owned a real estate business & my mother worked very part tiime until I was 6. My dad died right before I started 1st grade & my mother worked full time/went to night school to get her broker's license until she remarried when I was 10. My mother had full time help- she didn't have much of a choice in the matter. She's been a full time SAHM pretty much since she remarried though. My youngest sibling is in high school in another state & she is still staying at home & minding the house. My siblings and I are actively trying to get her to go back to school. As bad as the full time help sounds, my mother is the most devoted mother in existence. We never felt neglected. I wish I was more like her. Now she spends a lot of time being an excellent grandmother to my kids & being captain of her house (my father works, she takes care of just about everything else).

[SoloMelody]

Till I was 5 my mom and dad raised me and my brother in Africa, where dad was at work at the time. Mom was a SAHM.

By age 5 and when we had to start school they had us stay with our maternal grandparents in Asia. Mom shuttled between both continents, splitting her time between dad and us.

So I was raised in my grandparents home till I was in 10th grade; I have in me a lot of their values and culture. I would say I was raised by my maternal grandparents and my moms sisters.

I think I have had a pretty diverse set of people raise me and I think it has worked out for the good. I have really strong bonds with all of them.

[jenrub]

We were raised by nannies until all 3 of us went to school then we only had 1 taking care of us. Dad was working in the family's business then eventually had his own. Mom had a good job at a bank while we were in grade school and eventually took care of one of my Dad's businesses while we were in high school. Mom oversaw our needs and made decisions regarding our well being even though the nanny physically took care of us while we spent Sundays with Dad since he works all the time including Saturdays. Our nanny was close to us and became part of the family co'z she ended up being my mom's assistant when us kids went to college and started working until she passed away. Even though we had that kind of upbringing, we are very close to our parents, respect, and admire them a lot. Mom doesn't work anymore and just take care and have meals with my dad since he still works all the time. Mom visits each of us kids from time to time since we all live in different states in different time zones while we visit my parents/Dad whenever we get a chance since parents live in a different country.

DH was raised by his SAHM while his Dad worked and sometimes wasn't home a lot. He has a good relationship with his parents as well. My sisters and I turned out well and so did my DH and his sisters even though we were brought up in a different setting although sometimes there would be different opinions on raising our daughter. DH and I decided for me to be a SAHM and I am excited co'z I'd like to enjoy and take care of our DD and my parents are all for it as well.

[Multimama]

My mom was a SAHM for most of my childhood and the part when she wasn't wasn't a very nice experience. She was great at being a SAHM and it makes me want that for my kid(s). But both of my parents raised me. And my siblings had a big impact on the person I became too!

[c&j04]

My parents make a great team and balanced each other well (imo) in raising us. Mom helped Dad with his business for years which was on the yard but has never held a job since she was married.

They also were married 26+ years before they ever spent one night apart!! This is always impressive to me:)

[shawnandangel]

My mom stayed at home with me until I was 5. I don't remember any of it. I went to latch-key after kindergarden. My aunts and grandparents all watched me at different times. I would go to my aunt's house before school and she would take me and my cousins to school. After school I would be picked up by my mom or my grandma.

I have a very big family, all of whom were involved in "raising" me. If you asked, I would tell you I was raised by my parents and to some degree my grandparents. I never felt deprived of my mother or father's love. I understood they had to work to put food on the table.

[R2sweetboys]

I was fortunate to have both of my parents very much involved in my life growing up. My mom is a nurse and worked either nights or evenings part-time while we were younger. My dad has always had blue-collar type jobs that, for the most part, had family friendly hours. My grandmother would watch us sometimes to fill in the gaps between my parent's jobs when necessary. My brother, sister, and I all participated in lots of sports and activities growing up and my parents rarely missed an event. They tried very hard to make sure at least one of them was there. My head spins thinking of how they managed it all! :dizzy: I know that I'm very blessed to have had such an upbringing and I really do appreciate my parents' efforts.

[bluestarfish18]

My mom worked until I was 22, and my dad retired at age 30. So he stayed home with me until my parents seperated. By then I was in high school.

[SnuggleBuggles]

My dad traveled a ton and when he was around he wasn't very involved. He came to concerts and that sort of thing so he was more involved than some, he just wasn't really into the day to day things. My mom worked part time when I was really little and I either went in with her and hung out in my playpen or with staff. I did have an older woman that babysat me too but not sure ho much...her name was Berth and she made me a Barbie doll cake for my 3rd b-day. By kindergarten she was working full time at a high school school and when our hours didn't line up the high schoolers took care of me (loved it- they were the best babysitters!). She changed jobs yet again to a different full time job and she had hours that meshed with my school hours. I went in with her on sick days or days off as she had a big, cushy office. As I got older she just let me stay at home after school and she worked till closer to dinner time. I have older siblings so I'm sure they helped out too and I'm just not remembering! They were a lot older so gone by the time I was in jr. high. eta- I do remember going to (fun!) aftercare at school in elementary school.

Beth