The one thing you can never say to your spouse

[kijip]

Because you love them too much.

"you are a terrible cook. Yes, you can bake from a recipe if it is a good recipe but please, please stop experimenting with dinner dishes. If I am not eating this broccoli it is because you can't steam vegetables. If I buy a $20 huge organic roasting chicken and come home to find it encased in nasty salt bread and totally bland with a side of plain cous cous then don't be shocked when no one eats a lot and I am dicing up the meat for a soup and feeding the kids sandwiches 1 hour later. Seriously, cinnamon and cilantro and oregano don't work. Not even for "fun". You are a fab husband but your cooking totally blows. You should basically never attempt to do anything but heat up prepared foods or leftovers and frankly, even that can go wrong sometimes. "

So what do you keep to yourself because it is mean to say aloud?

[sariana]

Hmm, my DH tells me I'm a terrible cook all the time. And it's true.

I can't say, "Then you do the cooking," because he's never home, literally. So I guess it doesn't really matter. But he does all the holiday cooking so we don't all end up with food poisoning.

[citymama]

Do you want to be stuck with all the cooking? If you don't mind that, then go ahead and say something. If you want to encourage your DH to cook, some cooking lessons might be in order. Hmm, gift cert for cooking lessons as a Christmas present?

You're a more patient spouse than me - I would totally have said something!

[kijip]

Do you want to be stuck with all the cooking? If you don't mind that, then go ahead and say something. If you want to encourage your DH to cook, some cooking lessons might be in order. Hmm, gift cert for cooking lessons as a Christmas present?

You're a more patient spouse than me - I would totally have said something!

Oh he knows he sucks. We laugh about it in little ways sometimes. And 95% of the time I actually don't mind doing all of the cooking.

But he persists in this delusion that he will learn by doing. For most things that is true. But not for him and cooking. It has been 10 years, he still sucks. After countless of hours of me and my dad showing him things, after 2 cooking classes and an addiction to cookbooks. I am happy to do the vast majority of the cooking if it means that we don't have to eat nasty food all the time. He simply has no knack for it at all. My mom was bad but it was edible, just not good. He takes nice food and wrecks it. Totally wrecks it. :tongue5: But I am not going to tell him, it's hopeless and really f-ing sucks. Because he really likes to try and he really thinks he is getting better. He is not.

I am sure a lot of spouses have things they just won't say to each other. For example in the other direction, my husband never breathed a harsh word about the extra weight I put on. However, when I started to lose it finally in a serious way he was and is very, very happy. I am glad he never said anything harsh to me about it.

So what do other people hold back?

[cheri]

I'm with you, kijip. Mine's about a weight issue, too. And that's all I'm going to say (even here).

[citymama]

I missed the question at the end there the first time around. Mine would be: honey, you can't hold a tune to save your life so please don't torture us with your cat being strangulated imitation! He knows his singing sucks but he does it anyhow.

ETA and how can I forget: DH, you have no clue how to load the dishwasher or separate the laundry. Why exactly are those bright purple socks of DD's in with the "whites"???

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

you're a terrible driver dh. I'm amazed you get to and from work alive each day. Please, when you're driving with me and the kids-I'll drive. it's not the other guys fault-you're the twerp behind the wheel that everyone curses at.

[wellyes]

I am sure a lot of spouses have things they just won't say to each other. For example in the other direction, my husband never breathed a harsh word about the extra weight I put on. However, when I started to lose it finally in a serious way he was and is very, very happy. I am glad he never said anything harsh to me about it. Amen to that.

[kozachka]

So many things, unfortunately, but I still do. DH does not take criticism, even a very light one, well. Even if I say "this was not as fantastic as what you normally do" I'd be called insensive and rude. Talking from experience here. Europeans tent to be more straight forward than Americans, and I am from Eastern Europe so I am even more straight forward, not the best combination, I am afraid :(.

Things that I want to tell to DH - you are not as good in the sack as you used to be, you need to lose weight, you need to dress better, and you should stop being such a spendthrift, you are not making as much $$ as before. I am biting my tongue as much as I can and hinting, hinting, hinting...

[DrSally]

Seriously, cinnamon and cilantro and oregano don't work.

:rotflmao: OMG, this is just too funny! Reminds me of the time I sent DH to TJ's for cinnamon and cloves, and he came back with Rosemary and Oregano. He said, "well, they're spices".

[Twoboos]

Technology stuff is boring. You're not a master chef on the grill. (Hockey puck burgers, anyone?) And too much Latin music (read: more than 2 songs) makes me want to shoot myself.

:p

[TwinFoxes]

I still think NASCAR is lame. I'm a good sport, and follow the drivers and learn the rules, but I still think it's lame. Luckily I like sports in general, so it's not terribly painful for me, but if I never saw another race I wouldn't care.

And while I'm at it...hockey's not so great either. :innocent:

[american_mama]

Katie, I am shocked. I thought your husband once whipped up bagels on a whim. I have though of that severeal times; last weekend, even, when I was at a bagel place. I love to bake, have many friends who love to bake, and yet I know of only one other person eve (a grandma) who made homemade bagels.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

:rotflmao: OMG, this is just too funny! Reminds me of the time I sent DH to TJ's for cinnamon and cloves, and he came back with Rosemary and Oregano. He said, "well, they're spices".

LOL! this totally sounds something that my DH would do. all the spices or cooking ingredients (baking powder, baking soda) are the same to him. plus, he's colorblind, so brown, green, and red literally all look the same to him. so you can imagine how often he comes back with the wrong thing (or claims the store didn't have it). :p

[elliput]

Reminds me of the time I sent DH to TJ's for cinnamon and cloves, and he came back with Rosemary and Oregano. He said, "well, they're spices".
Someone needs to take a refresher course on herbs and spices and how to tell them apart. :30:

Where to start? Please DH, use hot water to wash and rinse dishes. If the dish water has been sitting there for a while and is cold, change it. And actually wash the dishes, don't just swish the water around a little bit and assume the bowl that had oatmeal in it is clean. Then, when you are done with the dishes, wipe down the table, the counters and the stove top with the dishwater. And then, please, please, please EMPTY THE SINK. The job is not done until the sink is empty, wiped down and the dish towl is rinsed and hung flat to dry instead of wadded up in the corner of the dirty sink. Better yet- just leave the dishes to me.

[kijip]

Katie, I am shocked. I thought your husband once whipped up bagels on a whim. I have though of that severeal times; last weekend, even, when I was at a bagel place. I love to bake, have many friends who love to bake, and yet I know of only one other person eve (a grandma) who made homemade bagels.

He is a great baker man. I think because it is all about chemistry and he is very good with chemistry. The attributes of flour, rising time, yeast, the coldness of butter, the magic of boiling bagels all just flows for him nicely. Pastry, good. Bagels, great. He makes a lot of bread. He really and truly lacks the general sense to just say, get veggies, potatoes and pork chops on the table for dinner. Or pretty much anything besides pancakes and eggs. But if he gets creative with the eggs? Watch out, that is where he might decide it is time to mix cinnamon and taco seasoning in.

I think there are a lot of people who are good cooks but not good bakers and vice versa. I am a good cook and a passable baker but a better cook for sure. So it is good I married a baker and he married a cook, I guess!

[salsah]

Reminds me of the time I sent DH to TJ's for cinnamon and cloves, and he came back with Rosemary and Oregano. He said, "well, they're spices".

:hysterical:

[salsah]

I think there are a lot of people who are good cooks but not good bakers and vice versa. I am a good cook and a passable baker but a better cook for sure. So it is good I married a baker and he married a cook, I guess!

absolutely. baking and cooking are so different. i love baking (and i'm good at it) because i love following directions, precisely. cooking on the other hand, i don't enjoy as much. i like and need to follow a recipe with exact measurements. it drives me crazy when i ask someone for a recipe and they use words like "some", "a little", "to taste", etc. shoot, i don't even like "a pinch" or "a dash".