Help me referee battles between the baby and the toddler!

[wendibird22]

Ugh, I'm ready to buy a black and white striped shirt because all I do is referee battles between the 10mo and the 3.5yo. DD2 wants to play with or knock or or chew all of DD1's things and DD1, bless her heart, just wants to play with her own stuff without DD2 constantly interfering.

For example, DD1 is playing with her doll and blanket. DD2 starts screaming and grabbing at them. I get DD2 another doll and blanket, but no, she wants the one DD1 is playing with. Of course DD1 starts screaming "No DD2! This is MINE!" Repeat this by replacing doll and blanket with any other toy. DD2 is cruising so nothing is really out of her reach any more.

So, how do you limit, minimize, or deal with this?

[twowhat?]

Is your 3.5 yr old old enough to play in a separate room? That might be the best thing to do?

Sorry:( I feel a similar pain - mine are both 2 but they fight like this. All. The. Time. And I can't put them in separate rooms because I can't monitor them both that way. My only solution thus far is to referee...constantly...and it's exhausting!!

[Dr C]

Yeah, we have the same issue here so I'll be watching for ideas. Sometimes it helps to have DS play up on the kitchen table where DD can't reach. I'd send him upstairs to play but then he feels banished and to make matters worse, DD will stand at the gate at the bottom of the stairs and WAIL because she wants him to come back.
After we've yelled at them a couple of times to knock it off, it's time to go outside and ride bikes.

[longtallsally05]

Experiencing the same issues here, with 4.5 yo DD and 21 month old DS. It's so tempting to think DD is pestering DS when DS squawks, but usually it's usually DS encroaching on DD's stuff. It's unrealistic for older siblings to have to give up all their stuff just to keep the peace. My cousins had to do that and by the time youngest cousin got to kindergarten, none of her peers would play with her b/c she was so overbearing.

DS hates being told "No", and being redirected, but he has to learn not to grab, so that's what I do. I tell DD that if she doesn't want the hassle of DS trying to get her stuff, she should go play in her room (which is gated so DS can't get in). I don't want to hear DD squawking either, when she has a perfectly good escape option. I spend a lot of time investigating, to make sure there is no teasing involved, either.

[wendibird22]

Is your 3.5 yr old old enough to play in a separate room? That might be the best thing to do?


She could for a short amount of time, but that means sending her upstairs and she really doesn't want to be alone. I can't blame her. DH and I both work out of home full time for nights and weekends are her only time with us.


It's unrealistic for older siblings to have to give up all their stuff just to keep the peace. My cousins had to do that and by the time youngest cousin got to kindergarten, none of her peers would play with her b/c she was so overbearing.


Yeah, this is what I worry about. I don't want to keep telling DD1 that she always has to share everything with DD2 or that she can't play with something until DD2's nap. I try to redirect DD2 but she's crawling and cruising and she's a fast little bugger so move her and give her something new and 2 seconds later she's back at annoying DD1. And quite frankly I get annoyed to. I want to build with duplos and not have DD2 knock it down so I can only imagine how frustrated DD1 gets.

Maybe I have to put DD2 in the PNP or superyard for short periods of time so that DD1 can have a quality play experience w/out interference?

[georgiegirl]

We're in a similar situation. DD is 4.5 and DS is 15 no. We ended up creating a special space for DD so she can play in peace. Its a closet off the living /family room. We keep the door open but have a baby gate in the doorway. We call it the chokeable room because it was originally where DD would keep and play with toys that had small parts. This setup works pretty well since DD is right there with us. However DS does spend a lot of time shaking that gate.

I also try to encourage them to play together, which works better now that DS is getting older.

[Momof3Labs]

IMO, the older child needs a place where they can play without baby interference. Sometimes they will play there, and sometimes they will play together, but they need that space. Put your oldest in the Superyard with her duplos so she can build them without the baby knocking them over (yes, the oldest in the superyard, you read that right). Can she play at the kitchen table or counter where baby can't get to things? Or let her play in a separate room behind a baby gate.

And if she chooses to play outside of her "safe space" then she must expect to share with her sister.

[hillview]

IMO, the older child needs a place where they can play without baby interference. Sometimes they will play there, and sometimes they will play together, but they need that space. Put your oldest in the Superyard with her duplos so she can build them without the baby knocking them over (yes, the oldest in the superyard, you read that right). Can she play at the kitchen table or counter where baby can't get to things? Or let her play in a separate room behind a baby gate.

And if she chooses to play outside of her "safe space" then she must expect to share with her sister.
:yeahthat: