Sex before 6 weeks post-partum...what could happen?

[LadyPeter]

So, my baby is one month old tomorrow (yay!) and my husband and I are thinking there is NO WAY we can last another two weeks without sex. It's really driving us crazy. I had an easy vaginal birth, no episiotomy, and I feel great. Is it actually dangerous to jump the gun a little bit? Why the 6 week waiting period?

[Katigre]

You should gauge your readiness by your own body's recovery and not the arbitrary '6 weeks' timeline. As long as your bleeding has slowed down to spotting and you're comfortable then go for it :).

FWIW, we didn't last anywhere close to 6 weeks before jumping back into intimacy again and I am glad we didn't drive ourselves nuts waiting weeks longer than necessary ;).

[edurnemk]

I just have to say kudos to you both! Sex wasn't even in my radar for several months! I had tearing which hadn't healed completely by my 6 week PP appointment and I was so relieved when my OB said I needed another couple of weeks.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I got the ok from my midwife at 2w pp. We went for it at 3 weeks with both kids and all was fine. Of course, i was ready the next day after birth but figured I should probably wait a smidge longer than that. :) Infection is one concern as is any healing from tears. But, like pp said, if bleeding has slowed and you are ready then I say go for it.

eta- I breastfed and aside from some leaking it really wasn't an issue (no dryness or anything).
Beth

[scriptkitten]

kudos to you! sex was a disaster for me until i was done nursing!

[dec756]

i think we waited 3 weeks after my csection and everything was cool. uncomfortable the 1st time but after that back to normal even with ebfing

[LadyPeter]

kudos to you! sex was a disaster for me until i was done nursing!

Can I ask why?

[brittone2]

With DS1 my midwife also gave me the okay at 2w, saying whenever we felt ready. I think we went ahead around 3-4 weeks? Closer to 3?

My bleeding lasted a little longer with DD and DS2. I don't remember if we waited until after 6w pp...fuzzy memories of those weeks (we were in the middle of a move, etc. as well...)

[AngelaS]

My midwife said any time after the bright red bleeding stopped. :)

[edurnemk]

Can I ask why?

Not scriptkitten, but to answer your question, BF hormones can cause vaginal dryness, and that makes it very uncomfortable. Might be a good idea to get some lubricant just in case ;)

[Katigre]

Not scriptkitten, but to answer your question, BF hormones can cause vaginal dryness, and that makes it very uncomfortable. Might be a good idea to get some lubricant just in case ;)
Hands down the best lubricant for vaginal dryness is Coconut oil - comparing it to something like Astroglide or Ky, there is just no comparison. CO is awesome and I know a lot of nursing mama friends who swear by it for their own comfort :).

[Melanie]

I thought it had something to do with making sure you were no longer dialated due to risk of embolism and the '6 week' rule was just b/c that's when most people have their first internal exam.

[Beth24]

I had my first post partum visit at 3 weeks and got the ok then.

[LadyPeter]

Not scriptkitten, but to answer your question, BF hormones can cause vaginal dryness, and that makes it very uncomfortable. Might be a good idea to get some lubricant just in case ;)

Will definitely do that. I had read that BFing could cause dryness, but since scriptkitten said sex was a "disaster" and lubricant is a really easy fix, I wondered if there was another problem caused by BFing?

[mrspeachykeen]

I am having a similar issue as scriptkitten. In addition to dryness there is definitely a lack of desire that I am experiencing that I attribute to BF. I will say though that i just got my first period post-partum a couple of weeks ago and things are seeming much better. Even though I am still BF I don't have the extreme dryness, my libido is getting better and it is finally starting to feel good to have sex. Even with extra lubricant, I will honestly say that there wasn't any pain, but there wasn't any pleasure either with sex. Thankfully it is getting better, but DD is 8 months old already so it has taken time.

[Katigre]

Will definitely do that. I had read that BFing could cause dryness, but since scriptkitten said sex was a "disaster" and lubricant is a really easy fix, I wondered if there was another problem caused by BFing?
For some women it is not just dryness - it is that the vaginal tissues lose their elasticity due to the bf'ing hormones. This means sex is painful since your body isn't stretching/adjusting during sex like normal (compare how it feels to pull on regular skin vs. skin that has a scab on it - one stretches with elasticity and no pain and the other pulls/tugs/hurts). There are hormonal creams you can use and ways to do sex that make it less painful - but it's more drawn out process. Usually once your cycles resume and/or breastfeeding stops things go back to normal. Not all women experience this but it is more than a matter of just 'dryness'.

[pastrygirl]

It was very painful for me for months, after a c-section with barely any dilating, and a VBAC. FWIW, I was always ready mentally and libido-wise as soon as the bleeding stopped.

[hillview]

get some lube!
/hillary

[amm40]

For some women it is not just dryness - it is that the vaginal tissues lose their elasticity due to the bf'ing hormones. This means sex is painful since your body isn't stretching/adjusting during sex like normal (compare how it feels to pull on regular skin vs. skin that has a scab on it - one stretches with elasticity and no pain and the other pulls/tugs/hurts). There are hormonal creams you can use and ways to do sex that make it less painful - but it's more drawn out process. Usually once your cycles resume and/or breastfeeding stops things go back to normal. Not all women experience this but it is more than a matter of just 'dryness'.

Oh, thanks! I've been close to tears several times due to the painful burning stretching feeling that made no sense given my c-section, and lube only made things messier. 6 months past weaning, its finally bearable. Your explanation hits it right on the head. Why didn't my GYN know about this elasticity theory?

[karstmama]

op, if you can insert a finger or two (in the shower, perhaps) without pain & your bleeding has stopped or slowed way down, sex should be fine. remember, though, to use some method of birth control.

[Katigre]

Oh, thanks! I've been close to tears several times due to the painful burning stretching feeling that made no sense given my c-section, and lube only made things messier. 6 months past weaning, its finally bearable. Your explanation hits it right on the head. Why didn't my GYN know about this elasticity theory?
Some aren't as familiar with the issue, some don't take women's bodies as seriously (and I know many women who had csections who had pain during sex b/c it's not always a vaginal birth issue, it's often a hormonal issue). A good vaginal moisturizer (vs. just regular lube) will help matters but in terms of being fully resolved it takes awhile so your hormones can readjust. i'm glad things are better for you now though!

[luckytwenty]

I'm 3 weeks PP right now and I'd rather do just about anything other than sex, so I am really in awe of this post! I had a lot of painful dryness when we tried after my middle child was born and I remember getting a script for a hormonal creme (Estro something), not just OTC lube. Not only that, but I couldn't possibly feel less sexy!! Leaky, lumpy, still spotting, stress-acne, bags under my eyes...even if DH swears I'm as cute as ever! But if you're ready, enjoy!!

[LadyPeter]

I'm 3 weeks PP right now and I'd rather do just about anything other than sex, so I am really in awe of this post! I had a lot of painful dryness when we tried after my middle child was born and I remember getting a script for a hormonal creme (Estro something), not just OTC lube. Not only that, but I couldn't possibly feel less sexy!! Leaky, lumpy, still spotting, stress-acne, bags under my eyes...even if DH swears I'm as cute as ever! But if you're ready, enjoy!!

LOL. I'm giving a lot of credit to my son's 13 inch head and his torpedo-like delivery. I'd say he did as little damage as possible in a vaginal delivery. As for feeling sexy, I don't know how to explain it. I'm just so impressed with what my body was able to do, that I don't mind the battle scars so much. I'm not embarrassed by them; DH doesn't seem put off. I'm within 3 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight, so that's not too much of an issue. I am trying to lose around 15lbs, but I needed to do that before.

I guess I just feel...like myself, only more powerful. Also, I've had lots of baby care support from my mom and DH, so I feel fairly well rested. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it!

[BabyBearsMom]

Some aren't as familiar with the issue, some don't take women's bodies as seriously (and I know many women who had csections who had pain during sex b/c it's not always a vaginal birth issue, it's often a hormonal issue). A good vaginal moisturizer (vs. just regular lube) will help matters but in terms of being fully resolved it takes awhile so your hormones can readjust. i'm glad things are better for you now though!

:yeahthat: The tissues can also atrophy, which is what happened to me. My doctor was able to prescribe an estrogen cream and within a week, things were much better and after 6 weeks, completely back to normal.