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jgenie
11-19-2010, 09:33 PM
A couple of things have happened with DS1's ST in the last few weeks that have me puzzled. I'm hoping someone here can shed some light on it or see something I'm missing. When DS2 was a newborn - I would sit in on DS1's sessions and nurse DS2 or just hold him. As he's gotten more mobile we've been staying in another room. Lately DS1 hasn't wanted me to leave the room - he wants us to stay in the same room. I'm not sure if it's because he recently started preschool or something else.

- A couple of weeks ago DS1 was having a session and DS2 and I were playing in the same room. The ST had a magnetic board with an oval drawn on it and had flat Mr. Potato Head parts to put on it. So she asked DS1 to put different parts on it and he did. He got stuck on the tie, hat and ears - he kept putting them on in the right place but inside the oval instead of outside the oval. She kept correcting him when he would place them incorrectly and he would try again but still put them inside the oval. I don't think he was being difficult - he just didn't understand that they oval was the face and that certain accessories belonged outside the face. She kept at him for quite a while and wouldn't move on to something else nor would she demonstrate that the items belonged outside of the circle. At one point she took out a different toy showed it to DS1 asked if he wanted to play with it but told him he couldn't have it until he placed the remaining items correctly on Mr. PH. At the time I thought it must have been just something they were working on but the more time passes the more it bothers me.

- Earlier this week the ST brought foam blocks to play with and at some point during the session DS1 put one in his mouth I heard her telling him she was going to have to clean it but didn't think much of it. When I went in to sign for the session I saw two blocks that weren't in the bag and told her because I was afraid they overlooked them and she would leave them behind. She then told me that they were not in the bag because DS1 had put them in his mouth and that DC his age shouldn't be putting toys in their mouth and that she was going to have to take them home to clean them. (DS1 will be 3 in Jan.)

- Today I was in the kitchen while the ST and DS1 were in the next room. They were working with Playdoh on a tray she brought and I guess DS1 was trying to use it somewhere other than the tray because I heard her tell him "You're not the boss - I am - You don't get to make the rules - I do." I came in from the kitchen when I heard her and asked if there was a problem. She said no they were just wrapping up and she started putting things away and getting ready to leave.

Sorry this got so long - one of these would have made me stop and wonder but figure she just had a bad day - all of these together really makes me question whether DS1 should continue to see her. Is there something I'm missing here? Maybe there's a reason and I'm completely missing the obvious. Thoughts?? TIA

daisymommy
11-19-2010, 09:43 PM
Jeez oh peets. I'll have to think up some advice--I'm not good at that on the fly, but I would be so irritated at her lack of understanding of child development, especially for someone in her field! I think you have every right to be concerned and annoyed.

Everything your child did was very age appropriate. How she doesn't see that is beyond me. And how she handled it was quite poor. No wonder he doesn't want to interact with her.

niccig
11-19-2010, 09:47 PM
Jeez oh peets. I'll have to think up some advice--I'm not good at that on the fly, but I would be so irritated at her lack of understanding of child development, especially for someone in her field! I think you have every right to be concerned and annoyed.

Everything your child did was very age appropriate. How she doesn't see that is beyond me. And how she handled it was quite poor. No wonder he doesn't want to interact with her.

Does she have kids? I'm guessing no.

I'm hoping to go back to school to eventually be a SLP, and a friend who recently graduated from the same course told me that being a parent definitely helps

Indianamom2
11-19-2010, 09:56 PM
I don't know that I have a ton of advice to offer, but I will say that I agree with you...something doesn't quite feel right about all of that to me either. I have a rather strong-willed child who didn't always cooperate during ST, but we didn't get responses like that.

One thing that stood out to me was that the ST seemed determined (in the Mr. Potato Head example) that your DS would finish and get it right. Sometimes, especially with young kids, you just have to know when to move on and try another day. It sounds like she didn't get that, which would concern me.

Thirdly, if your instincts say that this isn't a good fit, FOLLOW them. Our first ST, who we waited months for, was not the right fit. On a personal level, we got along great, but as a therapist, she just wasn't right. Hands down, the best decision we made was to ask for a different therapist because the second one we got (which we had to wait for again) was fantastic. The right fit, even if it's just personality, is so very important in a therapy situation.

Good luck. It's hard to know what to do when you're in unfamiliar territory.

hillview
11-19-2010, 10:08 PM
I'd ask for a differnt SLP. It seems off to me
/hillary

marge234
11-19-2010, 10:09 PM
She may have a very behavioral approach and there may be some logic behind these activities. Still, that potato head stuff sounds awful. I wouldn't be OK with any of what you've described. There are different philosophies/schools of thought about doing therapies. OUr DS is younger. We're working with an SLP who's into following his interests, the sessions are fun. There's no shaming. At all.

It seems especially odd that an SLP would talk about your DS's mouthing as if it were a behavior problem. And the guilt trip about having to wash the blocks--wha? Per our SLP, mouthing is related to the speech difficulties. Our DS needs a lot of stimulation to register stuff in his mouth. It makes expressive language difficult. She has vibrating toys and stuff to help him get his mouth "warmed up."

I'd find another provider.

mousemom
11-19-2010, 11:09 PM
Seems off to me too. DS is younger, but I just can't imagine our ST saying things like that to him. She will sometimes encourage him to finish an activity if he is getting distracted (for example, let's do two more cards then we'll play with the puzzle, or whatever). She does do Mr. Potato Head with him sometimes and she often shows him where some of the various parts go. If he can't get something on she'll ask if he needs help and then have him ask for help before she does it for him. And she gives him lots of opportunities to choose which activities they play with together and direct the session that way. She certainly does not "boss" him around.

sste
11-19-2010, 11:36 PM
I would sit in on every session (actually, I think its a good idea to do that anyway as an hour or two of speech therapy is not really enough . . . for it to be highly effective the speech therapist needs to be training the parent/caregiver). When you are sitting in try to get a sense of whether she is a skilled speech therapist and if an adult sitting in curbs her impatience.

I am a therapy nutcase but if DC2 is so distracting I would go so far as to hire childcare or schedule it when there are two parents home so that one of you can sit in.

I am sorry to hear your DS experienced this!

bluestarfish18
11-19-2010, 11:52 PM
I'd ask for a differnt SLP. It seems off to me
/hillary

:yeahthat:

My DS is in ST, and I make it a point to only work with those who know what is appropriate behavior for his age, and what is appropriate behavior to expect from the therapist.

Your DS is not comfortable around his therapist. Why should you be? I think by him wanting you to stay in the session, he's communicating with you that he's not in a positive place.

bubbaray
11-20-2010, 12:08 AM
That is not at all what our ST sessions are like. I did 2 years with DD#1 and DD#2 starts in January.

mom2binsd
11-20-2010, 01:23 AM
I'm an SLP and it sounds odd to me to, yes working with toddlers is challenging, but some of the comments made seem strange.

I would directly ask if you're wondering why she isn't moving on, for example, in the Mr. Potato activity, was she working on the concept outside vs inside? I'd just maybe ask afterwards what the goal was.

As for saying "I'm the boss not you", I can't imagine ever saying that.

I guess you need to look at whether your DS is making progress, and if he is responding to her. I'd maybe ask for more explanations. It's really important anyway at that age that the parents know the goals and activities to work on as parent training is as important as the direct therapy.