Thoughts please

[HIU8]

DH is a supervisor. His division is himself and 3 people who report to him. He works for a large hospital and I assume they must do something during the holiday for employees. DH wants to give each of the people under him a visa gift card out of his own pocket (with $$ we really don't have right now unless we don't send DS to OT for December). At first he wanted to do $100/each. Then he thought $50 each. What do you think?

Here is what I think....I have only once gotten a gift from a boss that was not in some way from the company. Once I got a SMALL personal gift from a boss. I think DH is nuts to give each person even $50 out of his own pocket (knowing that I am not working now and we are having a hard time meeting some bills and are cutting back yet again until I can get another job). I thought it would be nice to get one of the gifts that Costco has (they have wrapped gifts etc... that are not expensive and present very nicely). DH is against that . He is adament about giving a gift card. Supposedly one of the ladies that reports to him got him a JosABanks tie and a gift card to starbucks and he thinks the whole thing is at least $40--so he doesn't want to appear cheap since he makes at least 2 times what they make.

What would you do--honestly?

[jse107]

I think $25pp is plenty. Regardless of what DH makes in comparison, it is the gesture, rather than the dollar amount.

Another idea would be for him to take them out for a holiday lunch.

[bubbaray]

I'd be very surprised if his workplace didn't have a policy on this. He should ask HR. I know we aren't allowed to "gift up" where I work, though it is very common/expected to "gift down" (ie., I give to my secretary but she won't give to me). I know that my terminology isn't the right terms, but you get the idea. Basically, if you make more than someone and you give them work, you get them a gift. Not $50, mind you. Under $25 is the norm in my current workplace, but it really varies. I've worked in places where the norm was $100 and that was years ago.

[LMPC]

DH typically takes the people that work for him out for a nice lunch. But I agree with the $25 per person idea as well. It's a nice gesture but doesn't go overboard.

[liamsmom]

Supposedly one of the ladies that reports to him got him a JosABanks tie and a gift card to starbucks and he thinks the whole thing is at least $40--so he doesn't want to appear cheap since he makes at least 2 times what they make.


Yeah, but did she give that gift to 3 other people? It does add up. And I would personally wonder why my boss is trying so hard to impress me with an expensive gift.


I think $25pp is plenty. Regardless of what DH makes in comparison, it is the gesture, rather than the dollar amount.

Another idea would be for him to take them out for a holiday lunch.

:yeahthat: If he likes the gift card/personal present idea, he could get gift cards to a movie theater. Like two free tickets per employee.

[HIU8]

I suggested the holiday lunch. He is considering it. I think he feels like he needs to act like the big macher or something...

[AnnieW625]

At my job we either get a holiday lunch or a $10 gift card to Trader Joe's. I like either, but honestly the holiday lunch is great because it gets us out of the office.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

interesting... when i worked i don't recall ever getting a christmas giftcard from a boss. i would be somewhat surprised. i don't think this is done at DH's workplace either. what was pretty common was the boss would take the group out to lunch (say to a nice restaurant on a Friday afternoon). as pp said, i think most people would appreciate that bc you get time away from the office. i know if my DH was gifted a tie, even it was designer and $$$, he would not appreciate it and would never wear it. so my vote would be for the lunch.

[ncat]

DH usually takes his group of 2-3 out for a nice lunch to celebrate the successes of the year.

[MoJo]

I'm spoiled in this way. . . both of my bosses at my last two firms were very generous with gifts. It's not seen as inappropriate because I was either not the only recipient or I was the only employee who reported to that boss. And there is always a meal and a gift. The gift has been up to $200 in gift cards. My gifts back are usually the token but thoughtful rather than expensive variety.

Did he have this role last year or know what was done then? If he has to give something substantially less, he might want to let them know ahead of time.

All that being said, a gift is a gift, and you do what you can afford. I wouldn't take my child out of OT to pay for it. I would try to save money for next year, assuming he will be in the same role and same position.

[sste]

This depends on workplace culture - - it is expected your dh may not have much of a choice. OTOH, if it is not expected and he does it he has created the expectation!

We gift to people in our professional settings who make our lives easier. Last year, DH did 2 fifty dollar gift cards and one twenty-five dollar one to someone he works with but less intensely (that was actually a mistake because $25 lady was mad). Anyway, the $50 each did pay itself off over the year in terms of those people going the extra mile for DH.

I hear you. DH and I now have a tradition of not exchanging gifts with each other. We are broke after generous gifts to the nanny, the housekeeper, the three med staff DH works with, one assistant for me, and the preschool teachers!!

[jenfromnj]

I'd be very surprised if his workplace didn't have a policy on this. He should ask HR. I know we aren't allowed to "gift up" where I work, though it is very common/expected to "gift down" (ie., I give to my secretary but she won't give to me). I know that my terminology isn't the right terms, but you get the idea. Basically, if you make more than someone and you give them work, you get them a gift.

:yeahthat: I think it does depend on the culture of the place he works. If it's customary to give gifts to one's team, then he's right to stick with the norm IMO. But if it's more open-ended, then a decent lunch should be plenty.

[connor_mommy]

DH has never gotten any of the people who report to him gifts, nor has he taken them out to lunch. He's been given gifts, which he doesn't accept because the people report to him.

On the other hand, my sis and BIL have people who report to them and they have gotten their direct reports gifts.0 It's usually something my sis puts together like a gift basket or they just take them out for a nice lunch.

I've worked in a hospital for a few years and the managers have never gotten us gifts. Our department was quite large. I think a nice lunch would mean a lot.

[dhano923]

I directly manage a team of 6 women (front office -- reception, admin assts, etc). I oversee the company as a whole as Office/HR Manager (~48 employees) but I can't give everyone a gift. For my direct reports this year, I got eco-friendly reusable water cups to use at work. They were about $8 each. For the other departments, I give them each a tin of cookies so everyone in the department could enjoy. I give the company owners a bottle of wine each every year, spending between $30-50 on each. They are all wine lovers, and I like wine too, so they often share their wine shipments with me as well, and I can't "pay them back" during the year, so this allows me to thank them for their gifts.

If your DH is a high ranking manager or exec, then I think $25 gift cards would be nice, especially if that is the norm at the company. But otherwise, I think a $10 gift card and a nice card thanking them for their hard work might be more suitable.

[Meatball Mommie]

I'd be very surprised if his workplace didn't have a policy on this. He should ask HR. I know we aren't allowed to "gift up" where I work, though it is very common/expected to "gift down" (ie., I give to my secretary but she won't give to me). I know that my terminology isn't the right terms, but you get the idea. Basically, if you make more than someone and you give them work, you get them a gift. Not $50, mind you. Under $25 is the norm in my current workplace, but it really varies. I've worked in places where the norm was $100 and that was years ago.


:yeahthat:

I'd suggest a lunch out where your DH pays. That's what I've always done when in that situation. Gifting "up" is generally not done (per HR rules) unless the whole group jointly gets something for the boss. Honestly, I find it odd that one of your DH's direct reports gave him a gift and it wasn't from the whole group. I'd feel very strange giving my boss a a tie or any personal gift, but that's just me.

[TwinFoxes]

I think trying to outdo his employee is a bad reason to overspend. Personally, I think he should have declined the gift. It's setting himself up for being accused of favoritism. He doesn't want it out there that he expects gifts (not that he does, but office politics are weird).

$100 is crazy, IMHO, if it means your family will struggle. Taking DS out of ST would be a non-starter for me. I've never gotten a gift worth more than $25, and any gift at all has been rare.

[HIU8]

DH will not budge on this. He will find out on Monday of the corporate policy on gift giving. He wants to give a generic gift card b/c one of the women is complaining about her salary (they are in the process of raising her) and he knows she wants the $$. DH is very very affected by people (and they can figure it out quickly). I really want to see him do something fair for them and for us. We simply don't have an extra $300 lying around. We may not even have and extra $150 right now (it's really that bad) unless DH will give up cable or dry cleaning (which he also refuses to do).

[dotgirl]

Hm. I have a total of 16 people under me (2 managers who each have 7 people that report them), and I will probably give them all $10 GC to Chipotle out of pocket, not on my expense account.