Should I follow up with parents who did not RSVP?

[ncat]

DD's birthday party is this weekend.
We haven't heard from one little girl's parents. We mailed the invitations - it is theoretically possible that it got lost in the mail.
Would it be rude to followup with an email? I don't really know the mom. DH wants me to call (he is not volunteering to do it himself).
Thanks!

[KrisM]

Did you ask for an RSVP? By what date? If you did and that has passed, I would definitely call. If the date hasn't passed, I'd wait. If you didn't ask for one, I'd probably still call, but I think that one is harder.

[ncat]

The date was a few days ago.

Interestingly, most of the RSVPs (both yes and nos) were on the day after.

I have been terribly disorganized this fall and have not RSVP's "no" for several parties DD missed. No one has ever followed up with me. (We always RSVP for invitations sent by mail. It is the evites and invites handed out in class, presumably to the whole class, that have escaped me.)

I know this family has been going through a rough time.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd have followed up the day after RSVPs were due. I need time to plan, shop... It's up to you if you need to know those things or if you'll have enough food, supplies and treats for the non RSVP'ers.

Beth

[ncat]

This was the only one we didn't hear either way on, so I wasn't too concerned about the #s. The day after RSVPs were due was yesterday and I was stuck at work really late preparing for today's early morning meeting.

So in general its not rude to follow up with people who don't RSVP?

[wendmatt]

People get busy and forget. I think it's perfectly fine to call or email if you don't want to talk to her (but then she might not reply). You can then apologize for calling and say you just wondered if they were coming because DD has been asking, then hopefully they'll feel guilty for not calling you!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Absolutely ok. It;s more of a faux pas not to RSVP so you are just fine to follow up.

Beth

[KpbS]

I would definitely follow-up with the family since you know they have been having a hard time. People get busy, forget, loose invitations, have emergencies, etc. It probably would be a good thing for the child to get to attend your DC's party-esp. since things have been difficult lately. A friend sent me an email today b/c we had never RSVPd and I was very thankful. We never got the invite but were able to still make the party. DS1 had a great time.

[ett]

Yes, I would followup.

[ncat]

Thanks! This is helpful.
This will be the 1st party we have thrown for DD. She is very excited and I am very nervous.

[oneplustwo]

It's definitely not rude to follow up with someone who hasn't RSVPed. I always frame it the following way ~ I sent Susie an invite to Mary's party and haven't heard whether Susie can come, so I wanted to make sure the invite didn't get lost/didn't reach you, and we hope Susie can make it.

IME invitations sometimes do get lost in the mail or misplaced into some black hole for a busy family. My twin boys just had their party and one person never got the invite that we mailed ~ it was a close friend, so when she says she didn't get it, I believe her.