I am freaking out! Help...

[C&C's mom]

Just found out I am pregnant and my DD just turned 8 mos. I also have a DS that is 10yrs old and has special needs. My pregnancy was high risk. I don' t know if it is even safe to be pregnant again. And how do you juggle a newborn and an 18 month old? Oh and my son? I think I am just freaking out! Anyone get pregnant this soon?

[bubbaray]

Congratulations!

I believe ms pacman is also PG with a young child already.

I would ask your perinatologist/MFM specialist. I know that my peri wanted me to wait 2y before I got PG again. My IF specialist did not agree, however -- they wanted me to try again for #2 at 6m PP.

[ThreeofUs]

Congratulations! No advice, just hugs.

[smiles33]

I can guess at how freaked out you must be and just wanted to offer some P&PT. You'll get through this. Part of it is that I'm sure you're still exhausted/sleep-deprived with only an 8 month old and trying to imagine being more sleep-deprived is really scary.

FWIW, my brother and I are 14 months apart and while the early years were tough on my mom, I'm immensely grateful that the close age gap led to a very close bond between us.

Good luck figuring this all out!

[JenaW]

My oldest was 16 1/2 mos when #2 was born. It was challenging but actually not that hard. I made sure to nap when he did. He was young enough not to get jealous at all of the new baby. Yes, it was hard being pregnant again so soon. If he isnot overly mobile yet take advantage of that now and rest while u can. My early pregs are not easy but I was fortunate that he was not too mobile until I was in my 2nd tri and feeling better. I went on to have 5 in 5 years. #3 was a 25 week preemie. My water broke at 22 weeks with her and dd was just 10 mos and ds was barely 2 1/2. I learned quickly to accept offers of help from anyone, even tho that was not my style. If people called and asked what they could do, I would ask them to pick up milk/bread whatever so I didn't have to drag all 3 out alone (dh was in residency and working 80-100 hour weeks) and we had no family close by. I'd also have friends come over and hang with the kids for an hour or two so I could nap as I was still nursing my middle dd and had to feed/pump for my preemie every 2 hours around the clock. An incredible group of moms (many of whom are still here) arranged for super suppers to make meals for us so I did not have to think about cooking. You CAN do this. It WILL be hard, and at times you may wonder what God was thinking when He blessed u with another child so soon. But I promise u, it IS a blessing! As I sit here 26 weeks pregnant with #6, and my youngest is 2, and the oldest is 7 1/2, I know how truly lucky I am, and would not trade a second of it for anything! And my pregnancies were all considered high risk too, for multiple reasons. I try to find comfort jn my faith and be grateful for all i have been given Congratulations! Try not to stress too much, even tho some is inevitable I'm sure.

[WatchingThemGrow]

twice! our DC are all 18m apart (one set is a little under). Congrats!

[C&C's mom]

Thanks for the encouraging words! Always freak out prematurely. I actually need to talk to my doctor on mon. Hopefully she will make me feel better also. I just wasn't planning this obviously so it is a surprise. I worry about too much. And I am high risk because of my heart so it does conern me a bit.

[mommylamb]

Congratulations! No advice, just hugs.

:yeahthat:

[Roni]

I know it was a different time, but my mother had 6 kids in just over 6 years (she was 42 when the youngest was born). I still don't know how she did it, but she did. Congratulations! Mine are spread out, but I know a lot of people with children close together. Hugs!

[maiaann]

Congratulations! No advice, just hugs.

:yeahthat: Take a deep breath & think positive thoughts - everything will be fine! Congrats!

[m4nash]

My second and third are 16 months and 2 days apart. It was a shock for us when we found out I was expecting DD, but it really hasn't been that bad. DD is almost 4 months old now. My older two are 3 years apart, and while that was easier in some regards, the closer age gap is nice in other ways.

[LarsMal]

:hug: to you! Try not to freak out too much!! My first two are 16 months apart (16 mos 2 days, like pp!). I had many freak-out moments/days before M was born, but it really wasn't that bad. You'll find a way to manage it all, and everyone will be just fine! There may be days when only your 10yo gets dressed and you eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but that's okay!! ;)

I hope you have a healthy pregnancy!

[srhs]

Awww, congratulations!
Mine are 16 mo apart, :waving4:although I don't have an older DC.
Keep us posted!
Wishing you a healthy and nauseau-free pregnancy!

[citymama]

Sending good wishes for a healthy pregnancy for you and the baby!

[Dream]

Congrats!! No advice here but I'm sure you'll appreciate it when they're a bit older. You can do it!!

[Uno-Mom]

It stinks that you have to deal with the extra stress of high-risk pregnancies. That isn't fair for anybody to have to face. I don't blame you for freaking out a bit (or a lot).

But you obviously are very strong because you made it twice before! Tell your partner that he needs to give you some extra hugs...

I hope soon you can feel excited about this. I bet it will be great watching the two babies mature together!

[C&C's mom]

How did you ladies do it with the kids close in age? I am worried how I am gonna carry my daughter up the stairs because i literally couldn't breath with her. I am a nurse and left my job at 30 wks because i couldn't tolerate the pregnancy. My doctor wouldn't even put me under anastesia again to tie my tubes or perform the essure procedure.She wanted my husband to get a vasectomy. Obviously that didn't happen. I didn't react well during my c-section. And I have a condition where I faint sometimes, and it's worse when I am pregnant. I am a mess. I have to talk to dr. tomorrow and see what she says. She wouldn't even let me go through regular labor because she didn't think that my body/heart could physically handle it. How can I be pregnant and handle the baby and my 10 yr old son with aspergers? I thank you all so much for your encouraging words! Reading you kind words has given be some sanity.

[srhs]

How did you ladies do it with the kids close in age? I am worried how I am gonna carry my daughter up the stairs because i literally couldn't breath with her. I am a nurse and left my job at 30 wks because i couldn't tolerate the pregnancy. My doctor wouldn't even put me under anastesia again to tie my tubes or perform the essure procedure.She wanted my husband to get a vasectomy. Obviously that didn't happen. I didn't react well during my c-section. And I have a condition where I faint sometimes, and it's worse when I am pregnant. I am a mess. I have to talk to dr. tomorrow and see what she says. She wouldn't even let me go through regular labor because she didn't think that my body/heart could physically handle it. How can I be pregnant and handle the baby and my 10 yr old son with aspergers? I thank you all so much for your encouraging words! Reading you kind words has given be some sanity.
Deep breaths, mama! And one day at a time.
If it comes to that, where you are having physical limitations due to your pregnancy, can you hire a nanny or mother's helper for awhile? I paid a 14yo over the summer to come play with DS1 so I could rest and do some things to get ready for DS2 that I hadn't found time to do.
Also, DS1 was more physically independent when I was in my 3rd trimester, as your LO will be. Your LO won't be the same stage she is now when you further along, ya know?
Do you have family in your life who would help out?

To back up, in my 1st trim, when I was exhausted and sick, I could gate DS1 into the living room with appropriate toys and just lay on the couch. That rocked, and I don't think I could've done that with a toddler, for example.

eta: Just remembered one more benefit--DC1 still took 2 naps all throughout my pregnancy and in the newborn days of DC2.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Getting help is essential, given the conditions you describe. You are not super-woman and it is FINE to ask those in your world for help. I cried out when DS2 was born for help - paid or unpaid, old or young, and a sweet retired nurse came out of the woodwork to lend me a hand with the baby. Figure out where you need help, and ask for it. We also had a mother's helper (who could be dropped off) and she has grown into a great MH/babysitter over the years.

[Uno-Mom]

Seriously, people WILL step up if you tell them what you need.

My poor husband had an awful back injury RIGHT when I went back to work and his parental leave started. Sprog was 6 weeks old. He was heartbroken and totally stressed - he couldn't even lift her and he was supposed to be the stay at home parent!

Like you, we're in a caregiving profession. I put emails out to all our co-workers who love us (and some friends from church) and between them and my parents, they literally "staffed" my home for the business day. Friends would come by and do the lifting for DH. Get him and Sprog set up in situations where he could play and comfort her, be the daddy without having to lift or anything.

It was fantastic. They did this for a couple weeks until he was better enough to be on his own. Bonus = co-workers who we already liked a lot became better friends and bonded with our kid! I think we were lucky because we'd already served alongside those people in a caregiving profession, so we trusted them and we had that kind of relationship. KWIM?

[♥ms.pacman♥]

:hug: hugs to you. i am pg with my 2nd and my two will be 15 months apart. while we planned it that way, i still freak out when i think about how the first few months are going to be like. i struggle many days now just dealing with my son & being pregnant, i have no idea how i'm going to juggle my son plus a newborn. maybe i'm in denial or whatever, but i just try not to worry about it too much, at least for now since there's really not much i can do in advance. as others said, i'm sure it will take some time and i'll figure out a new routine/schedule.

as PP said, if you dont' have family around to help, a mother's helper is a great suggestion. i already got a nanny to help with DS once i found out i was pregnant. it has helped tons. the first trimester for me was the hardest..now although i'm huge and waddling everywhere, it's a lot easier to deal with now that i don't have morning sickness or extreme fatigue.

[C&C's mom]

Well, as they say, everything happens for a reason. I started bleeding a bit this week, only spotting. It kept getting worse and now I am miscarrying. It's sad, but I know it happens for a reason. Something wrong with the pregnancy etc. It just wasn't meant to be right now. Thank you all for your nice words of encouragement. I liked reading the posts when I had a bad day. thank you so much!

[bubbaray]

I am so sorry. Hugs to you at this difficult time. :grouphug:

[WatchingThemGrow]

So sorry to hear about your loss. :hug:

[AnnieW625]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts.

[Dream]

I'm so sorry for your loss.:hug:

[smiles33]

I'm so sorry for your loss, too. HUGS!

[Roni]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs.

[WolfpackMom]

So sorry Nicole :hug:

[goldenpig]

So sorry for your loss Nicole. :hug: Hope that whatever happens in the future, that you are happy with the outcome. :love2:

[Kitten007]

Lots of hugs and prayers being sent your way. :hug: So sorry for your loss.