Hanukkah Help Please!

[StantonHyde]

So I have always wanted to celebrate the various winter holidays so my kids would know the various traditions etc. (we celebrate Christmas) Well, DD has been really interested in Hanukkah so I got out our books from when DS went to JCC kindergarten and now she wants to light a menorah. (and yes, I have explained to her that Hanukkah already started)

okkkkkk. DS made a menorah in kindy and we lit it every night and he said the prayers (in Hebrew). But he can't remember them. I am ok with making a menorah with some craft supplies and using small candles. But--what about the prayers? Is it ok to say them in English or is that totally sacrireligious? (I am not about to butcher the Hebrew language--unless I can find some that are spelled phonetically). If it is ok to say them in English, is there a web address where I can find them?

I want to give her the experience without being disrespectful. What do you suggest????

Maybe I will just try to talk her out of it and do some better planning next year.....

[Clarity]

My dh is using this website to recite some new prayers this year but it also includes the one he traditionally says: http://www.chabad.org/holidays/chanukah/article_cdo/aid/103874/jewish/Blessings.htm.

The prayers here are in Hebrew, written phonetically and printed in English.

Dh is culturally Jewish, he's not religious, but we still light the candles and say the prayers for our dd's. I don't think it's disrespectful at all, in fact, I think it's incredibly respectful to expose your children to other religious traditions. I hope the link helps!

[egoldber]

We do the same as the PP. DH is culturally Jewish, but not practicing. I can probably recite the prayers better than he can at this point, but it's kind of his thing. :)

[erosenst]

I want to give her the experience without being disrespectful. What do you suggest????

Let me start by saying that I'm only posting this because you specifically asked. Had you posted the rest of your post, without this question, I would have easily gone on to the next thread.

BUT - while I'm not sure 'disrespectful' is the right word, it's probably close. You are not Jewish, and it sounds like no one in your family is. So while it's not at all disrespectful to admire the traditions, the menorah, watch as friends light their menorahs, etc etc etc, it's not what I would choose to do. IMHO, it minimalizes the religious implications of the tradition.

It comes awfully close to how I feel about Jewish homes having a Christmas tree - it's not our holiday. Trees are pretty, I loved helping friends decorate their trees as I was growing up, and even after college, etc. But it's not my/our holiday.

I would suggest that you might explain to DS that he went to a Jewish kindergarten so did it there, but that in your religion you celebrate Christmas (I assume) and Jews celebrate Hanukkah. You can explain the traditions, stories, traditional foods, etc. If you have a close Jewish friend, you can invite yourself over one night for the candle blessings. You might even make latkes (or better yet - buy them at Trader Joes if you don't want the mess).

I have a feeling I'll be in the minority - but I do think it trivializes (again, strong word) the religious significance. (Yes, I know that's an odd comment to make about a non-Biblical, non-major holiday....but that's a separate post! :) ) I also feel pretty strongly that we don't all have to be exactly the same to understand each other, coexist, etc - the differences make us interesting.

Emily

[mommylamb]

I'm Jewish and DH is not (though both of us are non-believers). I get what erosenst is saying, but it wouldn't bother me having a non Jew do the prayers. It's all the same Old Testament after all.

On the sacrilegious side of things, DH tried to convince me tonight that we should use our seder plate to put the menorah on to catch the wax drips because it's a Jewish plate.:ROTFLMAO: Let's just say that while I don't really believe in God, I'm not chancing it by letting wax drip all over my seder plate.

[sadie427]

I am Jewish and agree with Emily. Lighting the menorah and saying prayers would not really be appropriate. Playing dreidel, because it is a game and not a religious ritual, would be fine as would reading a book or making latkes.

[swissair81]

I'm going to have to agree with Emily as well.

[StantonHyde]

I really appreciate the various view points.

The Jewish families I know well enough to invite myself over are all more culturally Jewish and they don't have young children anymore. (but maybe if I initiate the idea earlier next year--instead of part way through the holiday!-they would probably be fine with it) Although they would probably tell me to go ahead and light a menorah.

Thanks for the respecting religion aspect of your posts. DS brought home the menorah and we lit it every night because that's what his class was doing. Nobody mentioned that we shouldn't do it because we weren't Jewish. (lots of non-Jewish people go to the school--it is excellent) But if a non-Christian went to an Episcopalian Christmas mass, the expectation would be that that person wouldn't take communion. (at least at my church) So I can totally understand that there might be parts of a ritual that you can observe but not necessarily partake. Things for me to consider.

I may take a look at the JCC calendar and see if they don't do a first night of Hanukkah celebration at the center (for next year). When I lived in Philly I had friends who took me to temple and invited me over for seder etc. Needless to say, there aren't as many Jewish families in Salt Lake City as there were in Philly!!

Thanks again for the ideas and different view points.

[trales]

We use Jewfaq.com for our questions.

I really like the idea of going to an open seder for the holidays at a JCC or temple better than trying to replicate a religion at your home.

[StantonHyde]

My dh is using this website to recite some new prayers this year but it also includes the one he traditionally says: http://www.chabad.org/holidays/chanukah/article_cdo/aid/103874/jewish/Blessings.htm.

The prayers here are in Hebrew, written phonetically and printed in English.

This link is awesome--it has a sound file of someone reciting the prayers. Maybe I will just let DD listen to them so she can hear them and I can read the translation.

I loved the comment about the seder plate mommylamb!!! I don't blame you--there are some things you just can't do even if it isn't rational!

[StantonHyde]

We use Jewfaq.com for our questions.

I really like the idea of going to an open seder for the holidays at a JCC or temple better than trying to replicate a religion at your home.

Oh there is no way I would try to do a seder!!! The logistics alone would stop me cold let alone the immense religious significance. They do have community seders at the JCC. I am just not sure about Hanukkah--they must though because they celebrate so many other holidays there. We went to several celebrations there but the emphasis was always on food and family and culture.

Off I go to see what they did have for Hanukkah and to put a note in my planner for next year.

[erosenst]

If you want to hear the blessings being sung, Barenaked Ladies has a great version of the Hanukkah blessings, with a 'preamble' (?) about the story. I know it's on iTunes and Amazon...