Santa WWYD

[khalloc]

DD (5 years) has been awful sleeping in her own room since August 1st. She suddenly got scared. I think she isnt scared anymore, but still doesnt want to be alone. So she starts the night in her own room and wakes around midnight and will either go back to her bed if we sit outside her door or i cave and let her sleep on the floor in our room....

Anyways, we've been telling her that she needs to be good for Santa to come and bring her presents. Sometimes she says OK and she will try. Other times she will even say she doesnt care and will just play with her little brothers presents...

In my heart I can't not have stuff for her to open on Xmas day. But should I have less of them be from Santa and put more as from us (parents)?

[Pear]

All children are good and deserve to be spoiled from time to time. I would not change your gifting plans.

[brittone2]

I would not change gift plans for normal childhood challenges and developmentally appropriate behavior (even if challenging). No child is perfect. I wouldn't want DH to withhold my gifts because I have the occasional craptastic day as a mother or wife, and I'm an adult.

[WolfpackMom]

I honestly doubt a 5 year old would make the connection. Christmas morning is exciting, she would have to read all the tags and determine how many she got from Santa and how many from you and the compare and contrast that to her siblings etc...

[JElaineB]

I guess I don't think being "good" has anything to do with a child's sleeping habits. I wouldn't use this issue as any type of punishment related to Christmas, or anything else for that matter. Perhaps a reward system would work better if you want her to sleep on her own.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I guess I don't think being "good" has anything to do with a child's sleeping habits. I wouldn't use this issue as any type of punishment related to Christmas, or anything else for that matter. Perhaps a reward system would work better if you want her to sleep on her own.

:yeahthat:

This doesn't deserve a punishment at all, especially not fewer presents for Christmas.

Beth

[khalloc]

Well I wasn't planning on punishing her. I had hoped talking about being good for Santa would encourage her to stay in bed at night...but it hasnt. So now I am probably going to get a "see mom, Santa didnt care where I sleep!" LOL.

I have still bought her a similar amount of presents as DS is getting. But I think less than last year (I tend to go overboard). I'm trying hard this year to not buy toys just for the sake of having another thing to open. Plus DH's family will bring another 15 presents for each child (some very small) between his parents + 3 siblings.

I just wasnt sure what to do about Santa. Perhaps I will write a note from Santa and put it in her stocking encouraging her to try hard to be good and sleep in her bedroom.

[wimama]

When my DS was age 2-3 he was truely scared to go to sleep by himself at night. Big time. At 4 year old, sometimes still he will need us there to settle down and get to sleep. We leave the door open and his closet light on and he has a Teach Me Time alarm clock that acts as a night light. That seems to help calm his fear of monsters and scary noises.

When we took his crib down we had to sleep next to him to get him so sleep. Then, we inched our way out of the room until we were sitting in the hallway outside his door. Then we gradually would say, I am going downstairs for a minute and I will be back up. And, we would leave him at bedtime for a few minutes. Then, would say the same and he would be asleep by the time he gets up. We eased into the whole thing.

For DS, some days we can just tell he is having a rough time and we cave and lay next to him for a while. They are only little once, DH and I figure. We want him to learn how to get to sleep himself. But, sometimes he just needs a few more cuddles. I often find out some interesting stuff in those bedtime cuddles. DS is much more willing to share information with me at those times. DH and I both enjoy snuggling with him from time to time. He is growing up much too quickly.

Why is she scared all of the sudden? I would try and figure that out. I would not withhold presents from her over it. Her fears are very real to her. If you want to motivate her instead I would offer a positive incentive, like a trip to a special place or a toy she has been wanting. I think positive rewards are much more effective motivators.

[vonfirmath]

Write a note to Santa (depending on what you decide to do)

1. We will be in Florida for Christmas. Could you please leave the gifts at our house so we can open them when we get home?

2. We just wanted to be sure you knew we will be in Florida for Christmas. We expect to be staying at X Hotel, but just in case we'll give you an updated note on Christmas Eve. Just follow your nose to the Oreos with the Reindeer on top (or whatever)

[khalloc]

Just to clarify - I wasnt going to withhold presents. I was merely going to have them be from Mom&Dad rather than Santa. Or write a note from Santa telling her to try to be good.

DD got scared from Scooby Doo. She always slept in her own room just fine. She had a bad dream one night and thats when it all started. I've tried almost everything. I sit outside her room at night until she falls asleep (10 minutes max). There was a time when she would let me "do chores" in my room down the hall while the light was on in the hallway. But thats not allowed by her anymore. When she wakes up at night (very frequently since this dream) she will sometimes fall back asleep easily. But more often than not I listen to crying etc, even if I lay outside in the hallway with her door open. I have to work in the morning too so I usually cave and let her sleep in my room on the floor. Then I get a good nights sleep.

Once in a while she will sleep thru the night without waking. LIke the other night she was sick with a cold. I didnt hear a peep from her all night. Its happened about 3 times since August 1st. Before that would happen about 3x a week, and the other nights she would just get up once a night to pee.

If I am desperate and lay next to her one night, in her bed, then the next night she is begging and whining for that again. Most likely i need to be firm and not let her in our room to sleep and just sit in her room or outside her room until she is sleeping each time she wakes up. But I dont like being woken up at night and I usually want to go back to bed so bad that I give in and do whatever will get me asleep the fastest. Whats the real kicker is DS is getting a bed for Xmas and I may potentially have to deal with 2 children up in the middle of the night soon. God help me!

[khalloc]

Write a note to Santa (depending on what you decide to do)

1. We will be in Florida for Christmas. Could you please leave the gifts at our house so we can open them when we get home?

2. We just wanted to be sure you knew we will be in Florida for Christmas. We expect to be staying at X Hotel, but just in case we'll give you an updated note on Christmas Eve. Just follow your nose to the Oreos with the Reindeer on top (or whatever)

I think maybe you replied to the wrong thread? Just because your answer doesnt really make sense to my original post. Nice Santa note though!

[BabyBearsMom]

Maybe Santa could leave a note saying that she was so good in other ways that he decided to over look the sleeping this year. But next year, since she will be such a big girl, he expects that she will be good in all ways including sleeping? I really have no clue, just trying to throw an idea out there.

[carolinamama]

I guess I don't think being "good" has anything to do with a child's sleeping habits. I wouldn't use this issue as any type of punishment related to Christmas, or anything else for that matter. Perhaps a reward system would work better if you want her to sleep on her own.

Another :yeahthat:

DS1 (5yo) has had difficult times related to sleep. We had a period that seemed to have just ended in the past few weeks where we kept a sleeping bag on the floor of our room so he could sleep with us when he got scared without disrupting anyone else's sleep. It started out with him ending up in our room almost every night and slowly tapered off on its own after 3 or so months. I don't even remember the exact time frame since it wasn't bothering us as long as he didn't wake us up. I just figured he needed alittle extra comfort and security for some reason around that time.

I also agree that I would do a reward chart for staying in her own room if it is important to you.

[Melaine]

I think you made a mistake by telling her that and now you are stuck. I totally understand, we have all done that before. I wonder if you might give her something special from Santa to help with her fears along with a note. "Dear DD, here is a flashlight so that you can see anytime you want. I know it's hard to sleep sometimes, but I know you can practice staying in your room all night for me this year. Love, Santa"
Or, a nightlight, a stuffed animal of some kind, a sound machine, clock, whatever you think might help her.

[smilequeen]

Honestly, I would tell her that you were wrong and that Santa doesn't care where she sleeps.

Then I would explain to her that YOU care where she sleeps and that at 5, she is old enough to understand that Mommy and Daddy need their sleep too and that it makes you very tired to be woken up at night. Then I would set goals for getting her back to sleeping in her own room. Like she can have a spot on your floor for the next 2 weeks. After that, she has to go back to her room. And you can have a reward system for the nights that she DOES stay in bed. We had a similar problem with our 6 year old and we worked out a reward system. He understands that if he's truly scared or not feeling well that he is welcome in our room, but that generally he needs to respect Mommy and Daddy's need for sleep as much as we respect his.

Santa might work, but it's not a great behavioral modification tool. What happens when Christmas is over? Behavior should be for the same reasons all year long IMO.

[vonfirmath]

I think maybe you replied to the wrong thread? Just because your answer doesnt really make sense to my original post. Nice Santa note though!

Ugh. you are correct and now I can't remember what I meant to be posting to.
Sorry!

[tarahsolazy]

Well, we don't do Santa around here, so I'm not sure about that part.

Is it really intrusive to have her sleeping on your floor? You say that you get a good night's sleep that way, why not just let her sleep there if she wants? I bet she'll give it up eventually. My younger sister was 'scared' a lot as a kid, and slept on my parents' floor often between the ages of 4 and 8 or so, but stopped on her own. They put a sleeping bag on the floor for her.

That way, you can stop making it seem like something important to you. It sounds like your DD is negoiating with you about this, and if there's an easy way to get rid of all the back and forth about it, seems like a win-win situation. If you aren't very interested in where she's sleeping anymore, I bet she won't be for long, either.

But then, I'm a lazy parent. If sleeping on my floor was easiest for me, and made the kid happy, I'd go with that, lol.

[khalloc]

Well we certainly could just let her sleep on the floor in our room. but we'd rather not. Next thing both kids will be doing it. I feel like she should sleep in her own room since she has had no problem doing that for over 4.5years. And my2.5year old is about to move to a Bed so he will be able to get up and leave his room now too. It's just a PITA.

I definitely put my foot in my mouth by telling her to be good so Santa would come. I'll try to save face by writing a note from Santa and maybe giving her a special light. Believe me we have tried rewards! It only works if it's by accident that she stays in bed all night. The she gets something small and doesn't try to stay in bed the next night. Oh well....this too shall pass! I might just have to wait 3 years.