Is this a reasonable request for our nanny?

[gatorsmom]

She's new and she's young, as in she just graduated from college. She's great with the kids and they really like her. However, she's started bringing things to our house for them. Last week she brought a deck of cards to play memory games with them. I've never had a nanny bring stuff to our house for the kids so I was just a little surprised at this. Today she brought over peanut butter Christmas cookies and offered to my boys. The problem is, Cha Cha is allergic to peanuts (his allergy response is not life-threatening, though) and I KNOW i told her this when we hired her. He told her he couldn't have them and didn't eat any but Gator did. I found this out much later, after she'd gone for the day, when the boys were whispering about it. But, I'm concerned that she didn't tell me what happened after she found out that he was allergic. And now after typing this, I"m concerned that she told them not to tell me, although that seems HIGHLY unlikely from what I learned of her from her references and from working with her up til now.

So, I simply wanted to ask her not to bring anything into the house except for her own consumption. No more games or toys (goodness knows, we have way too many games and toys) and no food to share. I don't mean to be mean, I am pretty sure she meant well, but I don't want to run into this issue in the future, kwim? Thoughts?

[elephantmeg]

I think it's reasonable. She sounds like fun though. I gather she is trying really hard to make a good impression!

[bubbaray]

In the circumstances, I think the no food request is reasonable -- and, IMO, necessary.

I'd probably go over with her the food issues again (and again and again until she clearly gets it).

I dunno about the cards. I'd probably focus on the more important issue, the food allergy.

[gatorsmom]

In the circumstances, I think the no food request is reasonable -- and, IMO, necessary.

I'd probably go over with her the food issues again (and again and again until she clearly gets it).

I dunno about the cards. I'd probably focus on the more important issue, the food allergy.

Good ideas, all. I think I'll just emphasize not sharing food with the kids. It's simply easier than trying to remember all our kids' unique issues.

[elektra]

Our Friday nanny has brought some stuff for DD, but she asks me first.
She bought her a little princess jewelry set for $1.99 or something and she also gave her a Rudolf lip balm. I think it's really nice and I do prefer that she ask me first though, I would be grateful but not totally happy about not being able to approve the items first.

I would just be clear that you love that she thinks of your kids when she is not working but that she please ask you first before bringing anything in for them, especially food. And I would also have no problem asking her to bring no food at all if that's what you want, and it makes sense with the allergy.

[egoldber]

I'm not sure what the issue is what the cards? But given your children have FAs, I think asking her not to bring food before checking with you is totally reasonable!

[mommylamb]

I would talk to her about the food and let her know not to bring it. I wouldn't worry about toys/games unless you have reason to think that something she would bring is not age appropriate in some sort of bad way.

[TwinFoxes]

I would talk to her about the food and let her know not to bring it. I wouldn't worry about toys/games unless you have reason to think that something she would bring is not age appropriate in some sort of bad way.

:yeahthat: The games wouldn't bother me, but I think you definitely should ask her to never share food.

It's really odd she brought peanut cookies of all things. That's the one type of cookie I'd never bring to a kid!

[MomToOne]

The games wouldn't bother me, but I think you definitely should ask her to never share food.

It's really odd she brought peanut cookies of all things. That's the one type of cookie I'd never bring to a kid!

:yeahthat:

Also wanted to mention you used a real name in your post, don't know whether that was a slip or on purpose but just wanted to point it out in case it was the former and you wanted to go back and edit

[Momit]

I agree that I would address the food issue but not mention the toys.

[Melaine]

I think it's fine to ask her not to bring food or to share food. In fact, it might be good for her if the kids know not to ask her about what she is eating or to share. Is she free to eat anything in your fridge? I would be sure to tell her she can eat from your home also, so she might not really need to bring food all the time.
I wouldn't address her bringing games or toys. To me, that is like telling a friend or relative not to bring your kids gifts, which could be taken the wrong way.

ETA: I might just ask she not bring nuts of any kind since the allergy is an issue.

[twowhat?]

I agree with telling her no nuts, even for herself, since there's an allergy in the house.

As for other food - this is just me but I don't really like the idea of other people bringing sweets for my kids. Just because I KNOW how difficult they are to manage after having some sugar and I really like to limit treats like that. But you might be more comfortable with something more lenient - like asking her to run it by you first before making something for the kids (which, I do agree, is very sweet of her).

I'd be OK with the toys but would probably also ask her to run it by you so you can be sure it's age-appropriate and safe.

[WolfpackMom]

I would address the no peanuts...other stuff I would probably let slide. I might mention she is welcome to eat anything in the house, but bringing food wouldnt bother me unless she was bringing "treats" pretty often.
As for the cards, I wouldnt address that at all. When I was a nanny I would sometimes bring some new crayons and new paper, or a puzzle, or a game or something to just mix it up and make the day exciting for the kids. Especially if I personally was getting tired of playing with the same toys over and over. ;)

[vejemom]

Our babysitter/nanny often brings toys/games with her. Typically it is a game like Chutes and ladders for her to play with older DD while the younger naps. She takes them back home with her when she leaves. Unless it is age innappropriate, I'd leave it be. The food is a different story. Our sitter wouldn't do that without asking. We don't have FA, but i've really had to crack down on my ILs about junk food. They try to feed the girls all kinds of crap at all times of day (chocolate bar at 6:45 am, anyone?), and then fuss at them for not wanting to eat regular meals. Because the 500 calories of crap you fed them at 4:30 won't impinge on their dinner at 6... Where is that eye roll smiley when I need it?

[gatorsmom]

:yeahthat:

Also wanted to mention you used a real name in your post, don't know whether that was a slip or on purpose but just wanted to point it out in case it was the former and you wanted to go back and edit

Oops, slipped. thank you, I edited it. :)

[gatorsmom]

thanks, everyone, these are all really good points. She is doing GREAT with the kids but is a little quiet. And since I'm DEFINITELY not a quiet person and not used to quiet people, I'm afraid of scaring her off. I mentioned today that she is doing really well, the kids love her but in the future, only to bring food here for herself.

She brought mason jars today because she and the boys are going to make rock candy. How cool is that?? :boogie:

[AnnieW625]

I'm not sure what the issue is what the cards? But given your children have FAs, I think asking her not to bring food before checking with you is totally reasonable!

:yeahthat: I wouldn't force the issue about the games, but definitely have her let you know when and what kind of food she can bring or just tell her not to bring food in the house, but if she wanted to make something with the kids then she can do it with ingredients you already have in the house.

[boolady]

She brought mason jars today because she and the boys are going to make rock candy. How cool is that?? :boogie:

That's really neat, and it's why I wouldn't discourage her from bringing in outside activities. I'm sure that you have a houseful of toys, but it's kind of like how kids always go nuts when they are at someone else's house, with their toys...they're fascinated because they're different. If she's able to keep them engaged by bringing in some items or activities she has used successfully in the past, I'd think that's a really good thing.

[gatorsmom]

That's really neat, and it's why I wouldn't discourage her from bringing in outside activities. I'm sure that you have a houseful of toys, but it's kind of like how kids always go nuts when they are at someone else's house, with their toys...they're fascinated because they're different. If she's able to keep them engaged by bringing in some items or activities she has used successfully in the past, I'd think that's a really good thing.

You are right. I really need to be less paranoid.