Do you purge toys with or without DC present?

[wimama]

Just wondering if you purge toys with your DC or without.

My DS is so attached to all his toys. I asked him which toys he would be willing to give up he gave me a little Hot Wheels and a small stuffed moose. He wouldn't give up any other toys. I am thinking I may do a big purge myself and then start working with including him in the process so he can learn how the process of decluttering?

[DebbieJ]

I usually do it without him. I did it with him once and when we dropped the bag off at Goodwill he cried. That was the first and last time he helped me.

[connor_mommy]

I usually do it without him. I did it with him once and when we dropped the bag off at Goodwill he cried. That was the first and last time he helped me.

Ooo! I should do this with the boys! I bet it'll be the last time they leave their stuff lying around!

[karstmama]

i do it without him, but he wouldn't understand the thought yet, anyway. i hope he'll be able to purge when he's older, and i'll ask him to help then.

[lalasmama]

Both--DD helps me get rid of some of her toys, but all those stupid McDonald's toys get tossed when she's not around. She insists that she "loves" them (even though she's never played with it!), and would choose to keep *everything* if she had her choice.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Both--DD helps me get rid of some of her toys, but all those stupid McDonald's toys get tossed when she's not around. She insists that she "loves" them (even though she's never played with it!), and would choose to keep *everything* if she had her choice.

Sounds like my ds1.

I have done it both ways. Once he helped me and all was well and good. We donated the items to his g'parents' church nursery. We were there one time and he noticed all of his old toys and tried to take them back.

Beth

[wimama]

I am glad to see the poll results show so many of you all purge without your kids helping. I am going to just purge toys with my DH, for this upcoming big toy purge. Then, I will work on trying to teach him to purge and donate items.

I know it is age appropriate to not want to give up your toys at DS age. But, after watching some of those hoarder shows, I really want to teach him how to let go of his belongings and declutter. Those hoarder shows scare me.

I am chuckling about your DS seeing the toys at the church nursery. My DS friend at daycare freaked out when her mom donated toys, that she never played with, to daycare. She ran around collecting them and putting them all in her cubbie.

[infocrazy]

Normally, they help me under the idea that it is going into the basement for baby sister to play with some day...not all of it makes it there though... DS1 is getting a little more protective of his stuff though. He is more than willing to offer up the stuff that only DS2 likes though!

[kristac]

I am chuckling about your DS seeing the toys at the church nursery. My DS friend at daycare freaked out when her mom donated toys, that she never played with, to daycare. She ran around collecting them and putting them all in her cubbie.

Yeah I tried donating a few things to DS2's preschool. Not pretty.

[brittone2]

All of the above?

It depends on what I'm purging and why. Ideally I purge without them around if I know for a fact that they don't use or play with certain items. However, we do a big purge about 2x a year (one is always in oct/nov before the holidays) and I do enlist their help. But I also like to pare down more once they are out of sight ;)

Oh, and it also depends on their ages at the time. I have different discussions with my 6 yo and my 4 yo. I don't ask my infant what his thoughts are on my purging just yet. When they were toddlers and didn't notice what they had around as much, I purged without them a lot more often.

We often rotate toys, and many things will be rotated out of use if I don't think the kids really need/want the item. If it isn't missed, it rotates into the donation bag sometimes ....

[hbridge]

We started when DC was little and have friends that run a children's charity. At about age three DC started to come up and tell me that she is "done with this" and I can take it to our friends. It helps that she "knows" where it's going (at least where it's starting) and the item will be given to a child "that can't afford the toy themselves". Sometimes I purge without her, but then ask if it's okay, most of the time she agrees...

[wellyes]

I know it is age appropriate to not want to give up your toys at DS age. But, after watching some of those hoarder shows, I really want to teach him how to let go of his belongings and declutter. Those hoarder shows scare me.

Just tossing out a theory based on my own relatives with hoarding tendencies..... I'd think forced deprivation (which is what witnessing the purge would *feel* like to a preschooler) is more likely to create a hoarder than to prevent the problem.

[egoldber]

All of the above?

Yes, this is kind of me too.

I often go through and purge stuff that I know the kids will never miss: Happy Meal type toys (although there are actually 1 or 2 that have become huge favs....), party favor bag o' crap, papers and artwork, "projects", etc.

With older DD we often go through her things with her and she will decide what she wants to keep and what she wants to give to her younger sister or donate.

I don't really purge "with" younger DD yet because she always wants to keep everything, even infant toys.

Most of our stuff I give to my SILs, who have younger kids. Sometimes my kids will see their old things there and exclaim "We have that toy!" :ROTFLMAO: I will tell older DD that those are our old things, and isn't it nice that we can pass them along to other who need them? But younger DD, no not so much yet. :o

[wimama]

Just tossing out a theory based on my own relatives with hoarding tendencies..... I'd think forced deprivation (which is what witnessing the purge would *feel* like to a preschooler) is more likely to create a hoarder than to prevent the problem.

I do think it is important to learn that process and go through the discomfort of letting things go.

I am not sure he is really there yet as far as understanding the concepts of it. When I showed him the gifts we bought our Angel Tree boy, he was like "I want that" and clutched onto the toy and stickers. He did come to terms with the fact that they were for a little boy that needed toys more than he did. He has been willing to give up a few of his toys. Just not the number we need him to. Some I don't think are appropriate anymore and I want to try and phase out some of the more electronic toys. During the purging process I plan on adding in a new puzzle or two, a new music bin, and an art area he will have free access to. So, I think the newness of the more creative toys/activites will win out over the loss of his old toys. And, we will rotate some toys.


Yes, this is kind of me too.

I often go through and purge stuff that I know the kids will never miss: Happy Meal type toys (although there are actually 1 or 2 that have become huge favs....), party favor bag o' crap, papers and artwork, "projects", etc.

With older DD we often go through her things with her and she will decide what she wants to keep and what she wants to give to her younger sister or donate.

I don't really purge "with" younger DD yet because she always wants to keep everything, even infant toys.

Most of our stuff I give to my SILs, who have younger kids. Sometimes my kids will see their old things there and exclaim "We have that toy!" :ROTFLMAO: I will tell older DD that those are our old things, and isn't it nice that we can pass them along to other who need them? But younger DD, no not so much yet. :o

I also purge happy meal, bag o'crap toys, and artwork, when he isn't looking. Your youngest DD is only a few months younger than my son. I guess I will just purge for him this time and then keep working with him on how to purge items. I think it is harder to let go of toys that he has played with and loved compared to donating new toys or bringing his piggy bank change in to donate to kids in need. Maybe they just can't differentiate between I played with you and liked you and I play with you and like you now. Now matter how nice the donating toys to other sounds to him, I think to him he thinks he still does play with them all and love them all.

I guess I shouldn't worry too much yet.

[wellyes]

I do think it is important to learn that process and go through the discomfort of letting things go.

I am not sure he is really there yet as far as understanding the concepts of it. When I showed him the gifts we bought our Angel Tree boy, he was like "I want that" and clutched onto the toy and stickers. He did come to terms with the fact that they were for a little boy that needed toys more than he did. He has been willing to give up a few of his toys. Just not the number we need him to. Some I don't think are appropriate anymore and I want to try and phase out some of the more electronic toys. During the purging process I plan on adding in a new puzzle or two, a new music bin, and an art area he will have free access to. So, I think the newness of the more creative toys/activites will win out over the loss of his old toys. And, we will rotate some toys.

Very possibly true. Poverty sometimes results in hoarding tendencies (the generation of people who lived through the Depression begat the hoarding problem as we know it) but choose simplicity explicitly is obviously quite different and explaining will help. Again, a lot depends on the child's age.

I'm sure your son will have some tears through the process but of course he'll be fine --- better off --- in the long run.

[Twoboos]

Whenever DDs try to help me purge, they end up offering up little random things... a Barbie shoe. One doll from a set. A half used sheet of stickers.

We don't really get anything done. Goes a lot faster/further if I do it myself!! :wink2:

[wimama]

Very possibly true. Poverty sometimes results in hoarding tendencies (the generation of people who lived through the Depression begat the hoarding problem as we know it) but choose simplicity explicitly is obviously quite different and explaining will help. Again, a lot depends on the child's age.

I'm sure your son will have some tears through the process but of course he'll be fine --- better off --- in the long run.

I do plan on sitting down with him when he sees the changes and explaining in order to bring things into our homes and lives we need to let some things go. Someone else might need those items we are not using much more than we do. It might not hit home with him completely this time. But, over time he should get that. My mom did everything for me cleaning and purging. I don't think that was really beneficial to me. I had to learn those processes myself later. Yes, I grew up in a home that was perfectly clean and organized. But, I didn't learn that process from my mom really.

Overall, I think he will be very pleased with the results. His toys were somewhat organized before. But, I plan on labeling things better with pictures and having separate areas/bins for different types of activities. Hopefully that will stimulate creative play and make clean up easier.


Whenever DDs try to help me purge, they end up offering up little random things... a Barbie shoe. One doll from a set. A half used sheet of stickers.

We don't really get anything done. Goes a lot faster/further if I do it myself!! :wink2:

I don't feel so bad now. I got a small stuffed moose, a small battery powered car and a match box car from DS.;)

[hbridge]

Another thing I do when the playroom starts to overflow is make it a game "Find 5 things to donate to __________" ... "GO!" It can be anything and usually it takes about 3 minutes for DC to come up with 5 things. I veto anything we should keep for whatever reason (the single doll shoe, Daddy's favorite DVD, ect) and send DC off to find something else. It's really interesting to see what DC finds and is willing part with without a second thought.

[MoJo]

I voted "without" but my oldest is 2 1/2. I have attempted many times to include her, but she doesn't even want to let me throw away the wrapping paper she ripped from the roll, much less a toy. And if the toy isn't for her, well then it's for her sister (probably true, but not when it's broken etc) or her baby doll! And if it's for her sister, she wants to give it to her RIGHT THEN, but we have a lot of stuff that Jelly Bean is outgrowing that Ha really isn't old enough for. So I wait for a time that she's asleep or better yet with DH.

She immediately notices anything new, but so far she doesn't seem to notice anything I've tossed/donated/put aside for her sister.

I will keep trying to include her, and from what you said here it looks like it could be a while. I routinely include her in purging MY stuff, so hopefully that will help too.

[Melaine]

More often I do it with them, but sometimes I will purge some artwork or meaningless knick-knacks while they are asleep or something. They are great about helping me choose things to give away though. Or sell. I've been craigslisting stuff since before they were born, so they are used to it.

[twowhat?]

With. They will KNOW if something "goes missing". They're good about it though, I simply say "You don't play with this anymore, let's give it away to another baby. Go put it in that bag."

[Corie]

When the kids were young, I did the purges without them.

Now that they are older, they help me with the purging.