Velveeta is not food.

[infomama]

Do you have one of these in your family? The one who thinks that because it's made at home that it's homemade even though it's full of preservatives and nastiness? Who insists on letting your dc have things like circus peanuts and fritos ever though you make it very clean that you read labels, avoid HFCS/artificial colors, flavors, preservatives and so on??

"It's in everything" is NOT true!!!

I think I may appear to be some sort of radical hippie to this person.

Suggestions??

[denna]

I have the same issue here with certain family members and I can't wait to see some suggestions on what to do. I hear as a retort "I've eaten for years and I'm still alive. If I switch to "healthy" foods now it will probably kill me.".....no joke.

[Smillow]

I always bring the food I want DS to eat with us when we travel. If the food that is provided is okay, then great, but I like having my ww bread (w/no HFCS) and Peanut butter and real cheese and fresh fruit ready & waiting. I really don't care if my realtives think I am crazy.

[wellyes]

Very very dangerous ground to criticize what someone else chooses to eat and feed her own family. It's one thing to chose to be the radical hippie mom who doesn't let her kids have circus peanuts; it's another to tell the person who purchased them that they're crap. So don't argue. Say "we don't let Jack/Jill eat candy" and let them roll their eyes and leave it at that. Zero discussion.

[vludmilla]

Oh yes, I do. My younger sister who I love dearly, drives me nuts with this. Pretty much every time I see her she offers my DD things like ring pops, yoo hoo, diet soda, arizona tea, and sugar based juice. She thinks I'm a health nut with too much money because of the various organic foods I buy. She believes that organic food tastes worse than its non-organic counterpart and doesn't want to eat my food.

[AnnieW625]

Honestly I think outside of this board there are people who give their children Velveeta, peanuts, and Fritos and live an ordinary life, and to 98% of population out there would think you are a radical hippie. It's a zero topic of discussion unless it brought up by the person who makes the food. We don't have Velveeta in our house normally, but even though I visit the board regularly I am not the normal "everything must be home made, be organic, must not come from a box, and must always be perishable to be eaten at my home" kind of mom. Now I have gotten strict about limiting HFCS, and artificial sweeteners in the last couple of years, but am I going to simply refuse home made food or tell my children they can't eat home made food because the person who made has been known to use Velveeta or other supposed "non food" products? Nope, but then again I am not the normal BBB mom.

[ABO Mama]

My boys eat real mac and cheese at home (actual homemade with real cheese and milk, not the box type). MIL knows this, and still tries to give them the boxed crap, but thankfully boys can taste the difference and refuse to eat it.

[WolfpackMom]

So Im not the only one whose ILs sneak 11mo DS Bojangles sweet tea....? I bring our own food for DS some of the time but usually that doesnt work out anyways and I have just decided to let it go. Once and awhile I would rather accept than to fight, now if it were more often it would be a bigger issue.

ETA, then again like Annie I am not a 100% organic all natural person. We eat organic/all natural where we can (eg when I can get a good deal/sale) so maybe thats why its easier for me to just let it go.

[mezzona]

Yes to all of the above, and homemade has everything like MSG and mixes who knows what's in it. However it tastes delicious, which is hard for me to compete with because I am a rookie. Nevermind that my food is nearly entirely organic, grass fed, from scratch, which is how my DH likes it LOL. Though I must say I am thankful for my MIL stocking organic milk for my DD.

ETA I have my weaknesses as well and i love me my occasional candy bar and microwavable burrito. and i will totally accept food from others cuz I'm too tired to cook today.

[wellyes]

My boys eat real mac and cheese at home (actual homemade with real cheese and milk, not the box type). MIL knows this, and still tries to give them the boxed crap, but thankfully boys can taste the difference and refuse to eat it.

Is it more important to never eat processed food or is it more important to be a gracious guest?

[JBaxter]

Is it more important to never eat processed food or is it more important to be a gracious guest?

To some children yes. Nathan and Jack have NEVER had kraft crap. Now they have had Annies Organic mac & cheese from a box. My kids My rules. If all you have is processed junk then make them a scrambled egg or some other real food

[WolfpackMom]

Is it more important to never eat processed food or is it more important to be a gracious guest?

Definitely have to agree with that sentiment...

[ahisma]

I don't worry about it if it's not a regular thing.

We're pretty darn uptight about food in the house, and I know for sure that most of my friends would describe me as a hippy;) 95% of what we buy is organic, over 70% is local (or grown in our backyard). We buy very, very little processed food. I'm vegan, the kids are vegetarian. It goes beyond food - clothing, toys, etc.

But, my MIL loves to make those freezer premade cookies with them and velveta grilled cheese. They even have redi-whip. Not what I'd pick, but I don't think it's going to hurt them either. We draw the line at some things over there (pop, jello, artificial sweeteners, etc.). But, for the most part, they eat stuff there that I wouldn't dream of feeding them.

[infomama]

Very very dangerous ground to criticize what someone else chooses to eat and feed her own family. It's one thing to chose to be the radical hippie mom who doesn't let her kids have circus peanuts; it's another to tell the person who purchased them that they're crap. So don't argue. Say "we don't let Jack/Jill eat candy" and let them roll their eyes and leave it at that. Zero discussion.

You see I feel very disrespected by this person. In my eyes she is poo pooing my efforts to feed my family healthy food. I do not have a fit if boxed mac nd cheese is served..its the extremes that get to me. I don't argue or preach but I feel like since she knows about my views on food what she does is like serving a vegetarian a steak and expecting them to eat it with pleasure.
That being said this may not be a battle I want to fight. It's not everyday or every week.

[artvandalay]

I made the Pioneer Woman's macaroni and cheese..you know, the all -natural, time consuming recipe..and my picky 3 year old hated it. I guess he likes the kind from a box.

How do you guys make your mac n cheese using real cheese? Because mine wouldn't melt right. I followed her recipe to the T. It was if the cheese didn't dissolve enough and it wouldn't stick to the macaroni noodles.

[crayonblue]

Is it more important to never eat processed food or is it more important to be a gracious guest?

One million percent agree with this.

Unfortunately, my mom was the one who insisted on all natural, no sugar, etc. growing up and guess what? It backfires. No one wants to cook or entertain for someone who doesn't appreciate the effort.

[dhano923]

Honestly I think outside of this board there are people who give their children Velveeta, peanuts, and Fritos and live an ordinary life, and to 98% of population out there would think you are a radical hippie. It's a zero topic of discussion unless it brought up by the person who makes the food. We don't have Velveeta in our house normally, but even though I visit the board regularly I am not the normal "everything must be home made, be organic, must not come from a box, and must always be perishable to be eaten at my home" kind of mom. Now I have gotten strict about limiting HFCS, and artificial sweeteners in the last couple of years, but am I going to simply refuse home made food or tell my children they can't eat home made food because the person who made has been known to use Velveeta or other supposed "non food" products? Nope, but then again I am not the normal BBB mom.

:yeahthat:

[infomama]

I made the Pioneer Woman's macaroni and cheese..you know, the all -natural, time consuming recipe..and my picky 3 year old hated it. I guess he likes the kind from a box.

How do you guys make your mac n cheese using real cheese? Because mine wouldn't melt right. I followed her recipe to the T. It was if the cheese didn't dissolve enough and it wouldn't stick to the macaroni noodles.

Make the panera clone mac nd cheese I posted in cooking. Its good and not time consuming at all.

[artvandalay]

Make the panera clone mac nd cheese I posted in cooking. Its good and not time consuming at all.

I'll search for that..sounds good. What I liked about the Pioneer Woman's recipe is that it was really rich. My little guy is super skinny and I'm always trying to sneak in some extra calories.

[infomama]

I'll search for that..sounds good. What I liked about the Pioneer Woman's recipe is that it was really rich. My little guy is super skinny and I'm always trying to sneak in some extra calories.
This is very rich but in a good way. I changed it a little (see my post after I made it) but it's still wonderfully creamy after my changes.

[infomama]

but am I going to simply refuse home made food or tell my children they can't eat home made food because the person who made has been known to use Velveeta or other supposed "non food" products? Nope, but then again I am not the normal BBB mom.
I have never refused food. I think I am being painted with the wrong brush here.

[Indianamom2]

I definitely don't fit the "crunchy" mold AT ALL.

My personal opinion on this is that if this person you are referencing is someone you pay to watch your child, then you probably have the right to dictate what they feed your child. On the other hand, if this is an occasional visit, then it is much more important (IMO) to be a polite guest and not throw a fit about the ingredients. Occasional "junk" food won't hurt your kids.

[infomama]

Since when did eating wholesome food equate to being "crunchy"??

[denna]

Definitely have to agree with that sentiment...

And to the OP. At what age our children expected to be so gracious? Id prefer my child refuse something processed and unhealthy then eat it to be nice.
Would you eat a food you didn't want/ like to be nice? Like if you were Vegan/ vegetarian for example? Eating natural and not processed is a choice too and I see nothing wrong with not eating it.

[Pennylane]

I think they should respect your wishes on what you want to feed your child, end of story.

Ann

P.S I love velveeta though :)

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Honestly I think outside of this board there are people who give their children Velveeta, peanuts, and Fritos and live an ordinary life, and to 98% of population out there would think you are a radical hippie. It's a zero topic of discussion unless it brought up by the person who makes the food. We don't have Velveeta in our house normally, but even though I visit the board regularly I am not the normal "everything must be home made, be organic, must not come from a box, and must always be perishable to be eaten at my home" kind of mom. Now I have gotten strict about limiting HFCS, and artificial sweeteners in the last couple of years, but am I going to simply refuse home made food or tell my children they can't eat home made food because the person who made has been known to use Velveeta or other supposed "non food" products? Nope, but then again I am not the normal BBB mom.

:yeahthat: i'm the same way. i think i'm a real oddball here in this regard. i try to eat healthy, but i've let ds have the occasional tortilla chip or eat takeout off my plate. i've fed him ice cream a number of times. i often feel bad when i read a lot of the threads on here where people say things like "i refuse to feed my kid (insert brand name/type of processed food) crap" bc usually whatever "crap" that is (kraft mac& cheese, whatever) i've fed to my son at one point! :bag


Very very dangerous ground to criticize what someone else chooses to eat and feed her own family. It's one thing to chose to be the radical hippie mom who doesn't let her kids have circus peanuts; it's another to tell the person who purchased them that they're crap. So don't argue. Say "we don't let Jack/Jill eat candy" and let them roll their eyes and leave it at that. Zero discussion.

:yeahthat: i agree completely. if anything, i would just say we don't let x have that, and leave it at that. no discussion necessary, because you run the risk of offending someone. i wouldn't care at all if someone came to my hosue refused to eat a certain thing (or refused to let their kids have it), but i would feel bad if they tried to lecture me on why a certain food item i was serving didn't meet their standards for consumption.


Is it more important to never eat processed food or is it more important to be a gracious guest?

:yeahthat:

when we're at my DS's 80-year old great-grandmother's house, i'm not going to quiz her over the ingredients in the tamales that she took the effort to make to make sure they're organic or contain ingredients i approve of. unless there's an allergy or serious sensitivity something, i just don't make that big of a deal about it. sure, i'd prefer my kid to not eat processed foods but i'm another one who just doesn't think it's worth offending a family member or friend over over the ingredients of one meal.

a few months ago we were having dinner at my parents' house and my aunt (who works as a nanny) was going off about some mom she works for, and how this mom "fed her kids garbage" like Gerber jarred food, and would.not.let.up about how this mom had no clue about nutrition and what not bc she fed her kids packaged/jarred foods. well all i can say is, my DH & I both left the table feeling pretty bad. i could see her point but the message we ended up getting is that we're rotten, clueless parents bc we fed our kid jarred food. i get why people feel strongly over what they feed their kids, but i could have done without the judgment.

[KrisM]

No suggestions, but I hear you. We are not 100% healthy here, but I really don't like that some people think it's a fun game to see what they can give my kids to eat when I'm not there. It reminds me of people posting things like "so-and-so gave my 10 month old ice cream" or "my mom has been feeding my 4 month old solids when I asked her not to". This is the same thing, IMO.

There is a difference between a person trying to get my kids to eat something they know I don't want them to eat and going somewhere for a meal and eating what is served. If we're at my parents house for the day and my mom makes grilled cheese with Velvetta and fruit, I'm fine with it. If lunch instead is Fritos, Jell-O and Kool-Aid, I'm annoyed. Or, if someone is going behind my back and sneaking things to the kids.

[AnnieW625]

I have never refused food. I think I am being painted with the wrong brush here.

Okay, hopefully no hurt feelings; I honestly never know when people post those type of questions how far off the end of the spectrum they are, kwim?

[Smillow]

I think that there is a big difference between letting your child eat homemade tamales vs. circus peanuts.
My DS took a long time to eat food (only breastmilk until almost 1), so I wasn't ready to let him eat cookies & cupcakes as one of his first table foods. I have certainly relaxed about his every bite (he's 22 months) but I get the veto power over what he is offered - it's my job! And he does not need candy or sugar cereal!

[WolfpackMom]

There is a difference between a person trying to get my kids to eat something they know I don't want them to eat and going somewhere for a meal and eating what is served.

I guess here is where the waters get muddied...what I was trying to say earlier was that yes, I would be annoyed if someone were purposely sneaking my kid food (like my grandmother used to do for me since I grew up in a sugar free household lol). I have been annoyed when MIL has purposely tried to sneak DS hard candy, soda, etc since he its 11 months old. I kind of see things like politely refusing soda or candy which aren't meals a little bit different than politely refusing boxed mac and cheese. That being said, if DS were older I would allow an occasional piece of candy as a treat at a friends house or whatever.

But if I were going somewhere for dinner and they served something for dinner that was processed I would not refuse it because I would consider that rude to do. I guess I would assume the person wasnt serving that food in an effort to rub in my face that he or she didn't agree with my feeding healthier foods, I dunno, I just wouldnt think that much into it. If I were to decide not eat it, I would probably even say I wasnt hungry so as not to offend the host by speaking about how unhealthy the food is and how we only eat organic, wholesome food because that would imply to the host that she isn't serving her family wholesome wonderful healthy good enough meals.

[RunnerDuck]

I was suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper uptight about food when my son was a baby... I have learned to relax a lot since then. I figure so long as he eats well MOST of the time - that's pretty good.

And I like velveeta... LOL... but I finally learned to make a good home made mac and cheese without it (the recipe on the back of the smart taste elbows... YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... my husband hates it, though, which is so ironic because he will literally eat ANYTHING...)

I have to say though THE most uncomfortable food refusal moment I ever had - a friend invited us over to make s'mores... well they were cooking over a duraflame. It took me a little while to realize that the marshmellows weren't toasting, they were getting covered in black greasy stuff. I was like, oh god, what do I do?? I'm a guest, she's my friend, I don't want to look like a snob, but I can't in good conscience let my child consume that...

I took him quietly aside and explained to him that we weren't going to be eating the marshmellows because mommy wasn't sure they were safe and I tried to make light of it with my friend... oh didn 't you realize? Yeah I don't think i would have thought about it, either...

Really, it's all small potatoes after you watch your kid eat food cooked in black chemicals...

[Green_Tea]

Do you have one of these in your family? The one who thinks that because it's made at home that it's homemade even though it's full of preservatives and nastiness? Who insists on letting your dc have things like circus peanuts and fritos ever though you make it very clean that you read labels, avoid HFCS/artificial colors, flavors, preservatives and so on??

"It's in everything" is NOT true!!!

I think I may appear to be some sort of radical hippie to this person.

Suggestions??

Are we talking about someone who cooks for your child and you on a regular, daily basis? Or someone you see much less often? If we are talking about someone who serves you food only once or twice a month, this is a molehill, not a mountain. Smile graciously, take a small portion, compliment the cook and move on. It is more important to be a gracious guest, and it is important behavior to model for your child.

(Also, my mom makes a mean mac and cheese with velveeta :bag:. So totally worth the nutritional trade-off.)

[BabyMine]

My SIL tried to feed M, at 9 months old, fudge. I almost freaked. We do Velveeta here but there are some foods I don't have at home.

If we are offered we don't say no. We can try it and if the kids like it I can try to make a more nutritious one at home.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I guess here is where the waters get muddied...what I was trying to say earlier was that yes, I would be annoyed if someone were purposely sneaking my kid food (like my grandmother used to do for me since I grew up in a sugar free household lol). I have been annoyed when MIL has purposely tried to sneak DS hard candy, soda, etc since he its 11 months old. I kind of see things like politely refusing soda or candy which aren't meals a little bit different than politely refusing boxed mac and cheese. That being said, if DS were older I would allow an occasional piece of candy as a treat at a friends house or whatever.

But if I were going somewhere for dinner and they served something for dinner that was processed I would not refuse it because I would consider that rude to do. I guess I would assume the person wasnt serving that food in an effort to rub in my face that he or she didn't agree with my feeding healthier foods, I dunno, I just wouldnt think that much into it. If I were to decide not eat it, I would probably even say I wasnt hungry so as not to offend the host by speaking about how unhealthy the food is and how we only eat organic, wholesome food because that would imply to the host that she isn't serving her family wholesome wonderful healthy good enough meals.

i totally agree. i think there's a big difference between a relative repeatedly sneaking soda/candy to a kid (when they KNOW it's against the parent's wishes) than a relative preparing a meal that happens to have a processed ingredient or whatever. i don't think you can really fault someone for not having the same nutritional standards as you.

and i don't think it's necessarily rude to refuse food per se..i have friends over all the time who won't eat certain things bc they're on Atkins or some other diet, or they're vegetarian, or whatever...no prob at all. i think it would be rude though to go into detail over why x or y food item "isn't really food" which would probably make the host feel bad.

[infomama]

I think some of you guys are missing the point of this thread. I would never refuse food and now that my dds are older I don't bring my own food. I don't give my friends a ration because they make Kraft or Stouffers or use jarred baby food. Who am I to judge...they aren't MY KIDS. I make my own applesauce and bread and some people act like I am a pioneer woman. Whatever.

I *never* interrogate people about what they serve or lecture them for not choosing my path when it comes to food but this person knows about my convictions and she should respect that.

[infomama]

i think it would be rude though to go into detail over why x or y food item "isn't really food"
I agree and I would never do that.

[ChristinaLucia]

I think if it is someone in your family and they know your convictions they should respect that.

What I try to do is avoid any and all food situations when dealing with these people that are in my life. We decline meal invitations and visit in between meals. I make sure I feed my kids before hand so I can say, oh so and so just ate, thanks anyway, if we are offered a snack. It might be impossible for you to completely avoid them, but it's the best I have come up with.

[infomama]

. It's one thing to chose to be the radical hippie mom who doesn't let her kids have circus peanuts
BTW...I'm not a radical hippie mom...not even close. I just said I must appear to be one to this person.
Again...when did making the choice to eat healthy/organic/non or minimally processed food make one a radical??

[newg]

I use velveeta to make grilled cheese and I use it to make homemade mac&cheese. It's not something I do daily, or even every week.....I use whole grain breads and pasta, organic milk, flour and healthy "butter". So, could I make it healtheir, yes.....but it's better than it could be. We also do Annie's for "instant" mac & cheese.

To OP, I think it's a fine line you have to walk with family members or friends. You don't want to insult or offend them, but you want to protect your family and your families healthy choices. It's one thing if they go against your wishes unknowingly.........it's a completely different can of worms if they go against your wishes on purpose.

[wellyes]

BTW...I'm not a radical hippie mom...not even close. I just said I must appear to be one to this person.
Again...when did making the choice to eat healthy/organic/non or minimally processed food make one a radical??

It was meant to be a tongue in cheek reference to your comment in the OP.

I think one reason this topic can become a little uncomfortable is due to class issues....I know that cooking from scratch can be very inexpensive, of course. But organic foods, coops, CSAs, Michael Pollan etc. are viewed skeptically and resentfully in some circles - considered a very privileged viewpoint. I myself like to shop at Whole Foods but my mom, from a different generation and culture, finds it shameful that I voluntarily spend more than I need to for produce. Thrift is a more important virtue to her. We obviously don't see eye to eye on this and it is hard to not irritate each other. So I definitely do sympathize.

[AnnieW625]

BTW...I'm not a radical hippie mom...not even close. I just said I must appear to be one to this person.
Again...when did making the choice to eat healthy/organic/non or minimally processed food make one a radical??

You are right it doesn't, and it shouldn't but it's just the public's perception because you are doing something that most people don't. On this board I am pretty middle of the road, but in real life I got odd questions about my desire to cloth diaper my baby (we unfortunately had to stop due to persistent diaper rash/yeast infection issues), and why I would want to use glass bottles with an infant (we ended up not using them because of nipple confusion early on), but yeah no IRL got it so I see what you are saying. I am sure next summer when DD2 shows up to swim class without a disposable swim diaper (I've already bought her a cloth one) I'll get more of the same questions.

[infomama]

Thanks for coming back to respond to my comments. It's all good.
I apologize if I truly offended any Velveeta lovers out there. I think I have my bearings now on this one.

[TwinFoxes]

Say "we don't let Jack/Jill eat candy" and let them roll their eyes and leave it at that. Zero discussion.

You clearly don't know my inlaws. My DH said your exact words to my SIL at OUR house re: Kraft Mac and Cheese. (btw, sorry anyone if you feed it to your kids, I don't feed it to mine.) She said "why not?" I just said "I don't want them to eat it". "Why? It has calcium and protein. It's healthy. There's nothing wrong with it. What don't you like about it." All this in rapid fire succession. I couldn't care less what she thinks, but that doesn't stop her from talking. Some people don't care if the discussion is one sided, they still are going to have that discussion.

That being said, I'm fine with DCs eating most things when we are guests. I do have my limits though.

[MommyAllison]

My sister deals with this with her ILs - her FIL fed flavored coffee creamer to another of the grandchildren when they were less than 6 months old. Yes, really, and the mom of the baby was. not. happy. (or aware of it til afterwards). And it was far from the first time that they fed something inappropriate at an inappropriate age. My sister just tries to never let her kids out of her sight when she's there, esp when they are babies.

Maybe this will encourage you though - my FIL has always wanted to "spoil" the grandkids (his words) in regards to dessert, especially, and they were not healthy choices. Though his idea of a kid's portion size still leaves something to be desired, he has become really interested in nutrition since we (esp DH) started gently mentioning things we were learning, like when we watched Food Inc, why we avoid HFCS, etc. Now my FIL loves to cook, and is constantly whipping up homemade quiche, shrimp quesadillas, etc without a recipe.

[niccig]

I'm the mother and even at my parents/ILs I have a say in what my DS eats.

My mother tried to give DS a frenchfry when he was 1 yo, I said no, she kept trying so I told her I was the mother and I decide what he can/can't eat.

On our last visit, she tried to force DS to finish is milk drink (Australian milo + milk), but she had made him a HUGE glass, and there was no way he could drink it all. She hates waste and told him he had to drink it or she wouldn't talk/play with him. He came to me for help, I told him he didn't need to finsih it, poured it down the sink and told my mother if she doesnt' want waste, then don't give DS more than he can eat.

Yes, food is an issue - I was forcefed when we didn't what was considered enough food, so no way no how will someone else tell my child what they must eat.

DS knows to ask me about something before he has it. Most times what is on offer is perfectly fine, but I still want him to check in with me. Sometimes I do say No, as it's close to bed time and I don't him hopped on on whatever the treat is.

ETA I was mostly talking about treats and other junky treat food above. My DS does eat boxed mac n cheese when we're with friends/family if that is what they've made. I don't say no we don't eat boxed and then recook from scratch. - I don't make mac n cheese much anyways. But I have noticed that DS doesn't eat much of it. Same with my friend's son. My PJ&J on wholegrain bread with natural peanut butter and jam doesn't taste the same as what his mother makes, so he won't eat it here. He's told me he doesn't like the peanut butter I use - kids are used to what they get given at home.

If I know we're going somewhere and DS might not like the food, I'll give him a big snack before hand if I can. Oh, and this also applies to my mother who makes everything from scratch - she made home-made chicken korma pot pies, but DS didn't like the curry sauce. So I had him eat more vegetables and gave him a cheese stick afterwards. I have more troubles with my mother as she's a foodie and while DS has a pretty wide selection of foods, some of her meals and definitely not kid friendly. We're not a 100% organic/healthy family either. DS eats ice cream, chips etc, but I buy no HFCS, sun chips that kind of thing. He's treat with DH is gatorade and doritos when they're out or Taco Bell with the awful plastic cheese like substance. He's 6 yo, but luckily he doesn't have a sweet tooth and can't stand soda.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

I very much believe that your body is a temple and what you put in you get out. My friends all know and respect it, with a bit of teasing. At 3.5 DD has asked if something was "ganic" and refused when it wasn't, my friend was watching her and she asked, my friend thought it was funny.

I let most stuff go on occasion, but since we are veggies, DD is always limited to certain foods.

I don't insult others, but I won't allow DD to eat certain things. I think as a parent you have the right to allow your kids to eat/do certain things and not allow others. Everyone is different, and respect people differences. Most people aren't as hyper aware as my family is. My daughter will tell me, I had no fruit or veggie, this isn't a balanced meal mom. I try not to judge, but feel as long as I am polite it is well within my right as a parent to make choices I feel are best for MY child.

[salsah]

depends. with my parents, i tell them. my mom doesn't like it and doesn't listen, but i still try. the girls eat at her house often enough (and all she does is feed them) so it is important to me. at her house, i can buy what i want the girls to eat and bring it to her house. she is okay with that. and if she knows that i prefer a certain brand, she will buy it herself. but she won't be bothered with putting on her reading glasses while at the store and reading the ingredients to determine if she should buy it or not. my dad is better about that stuff, he even asks me for advice about the things he buys for himself. he almost always checks with me before feeding the girls anything that he hasn't seen them eat before. (and sometimes he'll check first to make sure that i don't mind them eating at that time.)

at my in-laws or at friends' houses, i don't want to stir things up and they don't eat their often enough, so i just let it slide. i will try to limit the amount (if the girls ask for more) by saying things like "you've had enough juice for now, would you like an apple instead?" or if F/MIL offer them something, I may intervene with a similar comment "she has already had a lot of candy today." or "it's safer is she doesn't drink too much before bed." the only exception is with soda. i flat out say that we do not allow the girls to drink soda.

[ThreeofUs]

Used to be like that for me, too. Until the other moms started reading labels and "the establishment" began to talk about chemicals.

Now, most food at our family gatherings is really home-made and even organic. Grandpa is a hold-out, but loves all the fresh food when someone else is cooking.

[JBaxter]

Im probably in a different spot. We do a lot of organic because Nathan NEEDS to be on the Feingold diet. I do question people about what is in the food item. If not we might as well eat and go home because Nathan will be wild/adhd/obnoxious behavior in 5-15 minutes. My mother is old school about cooking. Most is grown on her little farm but she does not cook from a box very often. Sugar is not an issue with us. My kids ASK for water to drink and Nathan at 7 tasted soda once and didnt like it. There usually isnt an issue with homemade (from scratch) baked goods.

[artvandalay]

[QUOTE=JBaxter;2991100]Im probably in a different spot. We do a lot of organic because Nathan NEEDS to be on the Feingold diet. I do question people about what is in the food item. If not we might as well eat and go home because Nathan will be wild/adhd/obnoxious behavior in 5-15 minutes.QUOTE]

I've never heard of this diet. It sounds like it has been successful for you and your son? Sorry if I'm hijacking.. I'm generally curious about this.

ugh.. I always have trouble posting just a portion of a quote

[Melaine]

I always bring the food I want DS to eat with us when we travel. If the food that is provided is okay, then great, but I like having my ww bread (w/no HFCS) and Peanut butter and real cheese and fresh fruit ready & waiting. I really don't care if my realtives think I am crazy.

:yeahthat: totally agree. it really hasn't come up much for us, but my family is very health conscious.

[JBaxter]

[QUOTE=JBaxter;2991100]Im probably in a different spot. We do a lot of organic because Nathan NEEDS to be on the Feingold diet. I do question people about what is in the food item. If not we might as well eat and go home because Nathan will be wild/adhd/obnoxious behavior in 5-15 minutes.QUOTE]

I've never heard of this diet. It sounds like it has been successful for you and your son? Sorry if I'm hijacking.. I'm generally curious about this.

ugh.. I always have trouble posting just a portion of a quote

artvandalay


Feingold diet is no food dyes / preservatives and certain other foods that trigger ADHD behaviors. Kids vary on how they are affected by dyes. Nathan is dye free and orange free. There are a fairly good size group of children with hyperactivity disorder that is triggered by food dyes -- Red#40 Yellow #2 etc.. They are all petrolium byproducts that are not allowed in foods in Europe without a warning label. Several of the momma's on this board follow the diet for their kids.
Within a short time of ingesting food dyes Nathan starts to display very undesirable behaviors rapid speech, HYPER activity, does not respect personal space , impulse control etc. Its NOT a fun 12-24 hours. Even in his sleep he twitches and jerks around.
"I" think parents that have to medicate their children should give the diet a try. It makes a HUGE difference to us.
SO I have learned to question at church events , family reunions , parties etc.

[minnie-zb]

Is it more important to never eat processed food or is it more important to be a gracious guest?


:yeahthat:

[edurnemk]

I have the same issue here with certain family members and I can't wait to see some suggestions on what to do. I hear as a retort "I've eaten for years and I'm still alive. If I switch to "healthy" foods now it will probably kill me.".....no joke.

This is my Dad. Just add "poor kid, you're depriving him of so much"

And FIL knows I'm pretty picky about the food I give DS and he gives him Doritos and all sorts of candy when we visit. But with him the issue runs deeper, he always does the exact opposite of what I do, not just with DS and food. He's very passive aggressive.

[wimama]

Im probably in a different spot. We do a lot of organic because Nathan NEEDS to be on the Feingold diet. I do question people about what is in the food item. If not we might as well eat and go home because Nathan will be wild/adhd/obnoxious behavior in 5-15 minutes. My mother is old school about cooking. Most is grown on her little farm but she does not cook from a box very often. Sugar is not an issue with us. My kids ASK for water to drink and Nathan at 7 tasted soda once and didnt like it. There usually isnt an issue with homemade (from scratch) baked goods.



Feingold diet is no food dyes / preservatives and certain other foods that trigger ADHD behaviors. Kids vary on how they are affected by dyes. Nathan is dye free and orange free. There are a fairly good size group of children with hyperactivity disorder that is triggered by food dyes -- Red#40 Yellow #2 etc.. They are all petrolium byproducts that are not allowed in foods in Europe without a warning label. Several of the momma's on this board follow the diet for their kids.
Within a short time of ingesting food dyes Nathan starts to display very undesirable behaviors rapid speech, HYPER activity, does not respect personal space , impulse control etc. Its NOT a fun 12-24 hours. Even in his sleep he twitches and jerks around.
"I" think parents that have to medicate their children should give the diet a try. It makes a HUGE difference to us.
SO I have learned to question at church events , family reunions , parties etc.

We are another Feingold family. DS has been on the Feingold diet for a year now.

I have seen the difference in DS eating the traditional dye filled and preservative filled food and now I cannot willingly feed him that stuff. We used to feed him some of that conventional dye & preservative filled food. And, back then my son was always sick before we changed his diet. Always had a chronic runny nose, cough and bloody noses. Multiple rounds of bronchitis, pneumonia and chronic ear infections. The next bad infection he was going to be evaluated for asthma. All that is gone now. No more daily allergy meds. No cough. No runny nose. He has only had a few short days of mild illnesses in the last year. He is the healthiest he has ever been.

You can watch his behavior deteriorate when he eats food with dyes, preservative or artificial vanilla (that is a big one for him). He is also sensitive to apples, strawberries, oranges. If he eats those things his behavior deteriorates. His impulse control plummets. He gets very LOUD. He can't get to sleep. And he can't concentrate. The difference in concentration is huge. The difference is night and day. Like DS reading to us or DH and I reading to DS and having to continually stop and threaten to stop reading to him 8-9 times.

That said I am not a cook everything from scratch kind of gal. I like my convenience foods, the food just have to have better ingredients in it. In fact, later today I might make some cookies from the refrigerated dough I have in the fridge. LOL.



Is it more important to never eat processed food or is it more important to be a gracious guest?

I would rather be an ungracious guest and not feed my child something I know that will make him sick and take away from the pleasantness of our visit together. Is it really enjoyable to have a kid that is sick and bouncing off the walls? My DH, DS, myself and DS’s teachers will be the one that pays the price for you feeding him something that he will react to long after our visit is with you is over. We simply bring food for our son to eat during a visit or if traveling stop at a store and pick some up. He is my kid and I am not going to stand by and let you feed him food that will make his miserable. I don’t really care if you think I am an ungracious guest or an overprotective mother, he is my son and it is my job to protect him and care for him. Do I comment on the contents of my guest food. No. That is not my place. DH and I do eat whatever food that is offered. I simple explain to the host that DS has food allergies and sensitivities and that we will send food for him to eat and that is usually easier to do just that.

[srhs]

I don't have a lot to add, just that I deal with this too. Compared to a lot of great moms here, I am probably lax, but compared to most people IRL, I am a nut. My family really doesn't understand. DS1 cannot handle food dyes, so they kinda respect that and have stopped tucking Twizzlers and M&Ms in his gifts.

But they just have no clue what junk (HFCS, caramel color) is in their food. I don't judge; I didn't know 5 years ago, honestly.

My mom likes to make comments about not "getting in trouble" with me if she gives a snack or something. Very frustrating. There is such a tone of tension when we visit.

I have fibro (as does she) and read MSG can be a problem. Since it is already bad for you, I avoid it. I feel like 90% of their food has dyes, HFCS, MSG, or nitrites. (I'm willing to have nitrites as a guest but avoid them at home.)

It's really hard when you are trying to do what you think is best for your kids, and you feel judged for it.

FWIW, we purchased the Feingold materials but have never done the full plan. Right when I was ready to start, DH lost his job and we needed to just eat what I already had since we'd be moving soon. Plus, it's more $ to purhase specific and researched approved-brands. I hope to do it fully in the future.
We basically just follow the suggestions and avoid artificial triggers. if your child has specific issues like hyperactivity, I highly recommend it to identify problem foods. For some, it is even natural foods like berries, and you won't know if you don't do an elimination-type diet.

[wellyes]

I would rather be an ungracious guest and not feed my child something I know that will make him sick and take away from the pleasantness of our visit together. Is it really enjoyable to have a kid that is sick and bouncing off the walls?Of course you're right about that. I'd no more ask a Fiengold diet kid to eat dyes than I'd ask a diabetic kid to eat cake. Or a kid who keeps kosher to eat pork.

The anecdote I was thinking of when I mentioned the ungracious guest was from my DH.... he was staying for dinner at a friend's house (without his parents) when he was a kid, and was offered Chef-Boy-R-Dee. He refused it and explained, at the dinner table, why his mom's from-scratch Italian was so much better. He is still embarrassed about his behavior 25+ years later.

I don't think kids have to eat anything they don't want to as a guest. But kids need to know how to politely decline what's being offered, and we as parents should be role models. In other words, don't eat it if you don't want it, but avoid explaining why your way is better than your hosts. I'm a vegetarian so I run into this a lot. If there's not a meatless choice I say I already ate, or I'd be delighted with just side dishes, or bring my own. I don't debate or explain the ethical choices that brought me where I am, or rise to baiting comments (usually revolving around the deliciousness of bacon).

I do have a HUGE problem with my mom wanting to feed the kids junk..... she is shockingly ignorant about nutrition and really only thinks about food in terms of the pleasure it can bring (and I don't mean the pleasure of feeling healthy). Fortunately she only visits rarely. For a lot of reasons I'd love to see her more often but nutritionally? No, she's a disaster. I am not sure how I'd handle it if I had to deal with it more often. I know it's hard and I really do sympathize with parents who deal with this sort of conflict every day. But I still do think that avoiding the topic is much more effective than explaining your position. For most people talk about avoiding processed food is about as welcome as a vegetarian talking about slaughterhouses.

[Nooknookmom]

So, I grew up on Velveeta, lol. ONCE in a while I make Velveeta/Pace melted dip. Like once every two years. But seriously, my Mom always had the big V in the house. I ate it on everything.

Maybe that is why I have so many health issues, ;) Ha!

Seriously though, I read labels and TRY to keep nastiness out of our diets, I don't go nuts, the kids can have junk, sometimes. I make a lot of tofu stir-frys, Trader Joes meats, veggies, fruit, etc.

However, if we are going to someones house to eat, I'm not going to make a fuss over what is on thier table, (Aside from when DD2 was in full MSPI).

At home, I think that if all junk is denied - it is wanted more!

[mommylamb]

Y
That being said, I'm fine with DCs eating most things when we are guests. I do have my limits though.

That's how I am. Even when we go out to a restaurant, DS can have certain things that I don't allow in the house (chocolate milk is his big treat). At home, it's different. Then again, I'm nowhere near as strict as a lot of the parents on this board are, even at home. But, like TwinFoxes, I have my limits. For example, I would flat out be a rude guest and say no if someone offered my 3 year old soda, but ice cream is ok by me (so long as he has eaten real food first). Maybe my rules on this are arbitrary.

I have to say, I really struggle with fast food though. DS has never had it. He doesn't even know what McDonalds is. Several months ago one of the kids at daycare had a birthday and the parents wanted to bring McD for all the kids in school. My daycare provider talked to me about it ahead of time because she knows we have issues with this to make sure it was ok. I said to go ahead, but I was super reluctant about it. Then, coincidentally, DS was sick so he missed the lunch anyway. Regardless, it's something I have a hard time with, and I know I'll have to make decisions about it at some point.

[gatorsmom]

[QUOTE=Nooknookmom;2991452] ONCE in a while I make Velveeta/Pace melted dip. Like once every two years.

MMMMMmmmm, we just had Velveeta and Rotel tomatoes melted together to serve with chips for New Year's Eve. And we might have it again if we have a party this summer but otherwise, any Velveeta I have expires in the pantry untouched. Once in a while is fine for us but not more than that.

[vonfirmath]

Do you have one of these in your family? The one who thinks that because it's made at home that it's homemade even though it's full of preservatives and nastiness? Who insists on letting your dc have things like circus peanuts and fritos ever though you make it very clean that you read labels, avoid HFCS/artificial colors, flavors, preservatives and so on??

"It's in everything" is NOT true!!!

I think I may appear to be some sort of radical hippie to this person.

Suggestions??

I am so glad I don't have relatives/friends that are going to get angry at what I feed their kids

No, I don't read labels (much) for HFCS and such in food in my house. If you are that picky what your kid eats at my house, please bring food for your kid to eat. I do the best I can.

Homemade in my house probably DOES include stuff that you will turn your nose up as "not homemade" I don't make everything from scratch. I use canned foods and mixes and such. (and prefer it in some cases even!)

[infomama]

I am so glad I don't have relatives/friends that are going to get angry at what I feed their kids

If you are that picky what your kid eats at my house, please bring food for your kid to eat. I do the best I can.

Homemade in my house probably DOES include stuff that you will turn your nose up as "not homemade"
Wow..that's harsh. I thought I made my point clear but I guess I am just coming across as a winy food snob to some.

[vonfirmath]

Wow..that's harsh. I thought I made my point clear but I guess I am just coming across as a winy food snob to some.

responding to your original post
"The one who thinks that because it's made at home that it's homemade even though it's full of preservatives and nastiness?"

I would be very hurt if I served what I figured was my homemade food to someone and they turned their noses up and said "full of perservatives and nastiness"

Or even if I found they were saying that about my food behind my back.

I believe you'd be saying just this if you walked into my house, from what you said in your first post. SO maybe harsh? Responding to harsh.

[infomama]

I believe you'd be saying just this if you walked into my house, from what you said in your first post. SO maybe harsh? Responding to harsh.
You can't possibly make these kind of assumptions about me. You don't know me. And I would not say that. This is an issue with ONE person in my life.

[crayonblue]

OP, this is not directed at you. I've been thinking about this thread since I read it last night.

I think it is the height of rudeness to negatively comment about what someone makes for you. It's ill-mannered and self-centered. Can you tell this bothers me?!

I had three back-to-back instances that forever affected how I think about food and company.

1.) DH and I were a young married couple and invited a friend over. I fixed a very healthy meal, chicken and rice and salad. I made home-made brownies. After dinner I pulled out the brownies and the friend informed me that he does not eat sweets. Not a big deal but I was a little disappointed.

2.) DH and I invited two couples over for dinner. I fixed my favorite chicken with cheese and cream dish and another less calorie-laden dish . One of the guests commented over and over about how much cholesterol was in the chicken dish and how she couldn't possibly eat something so bad for her. Her husband commented that it was the best thing he had ever eaten! I was a little hurt by the friend who wouldn't eat my meal. Fine, don't eat it but don't complain about it!

3.) DH invited a friend over for dinner. I asked DH what the friend liked to eat (having learned from the two former incidences). DH said anything. DD was little and I wasn't up to much cooking but I busted my butt to make something nice. Friend arrives, I set out dinner, and friend informs me that he is a vegetarian and can't eat my dinner. I was MORTIFIED. I really wanted to smack DH upside the head but I also wanted to cry. So, I went upstairs to feed DD and cried.

From these three experiences I learned two things:

1.) I will ALWAYS ask ahead of time about dietary restrictions, allergies and likes/dislikes.

2.) I will ALWAYS, within my power, eat what is served me. And I will NOT comment on something I don't like or something I wouldn't normally eat. I will ONLY make positive comments on what someone provides for me. I have a daughter with peanut allergies so clearly I understand when a food cannot be eaten, but I will teach my kids that they are to behave the same way.

ETA: To the OP: The reason I wasn't directing this comment to you is that I think it is a very different scenario if the person making the food knows you are concerned yet makes it anyway.

[TwinFoxes]

OP, I do think people are being really harsh to you. It's pretty clear to me that there is one person who tries to push your buttons by serving your kid food you don't want her/him to eat. Somehow people have decided to call you rude and ungracious. I get what you're saying. It's not a big issue with me, but I totally understand. :hug:

[gatorsmom]

OP, this is not directed at you. I've been thinking about this thread since I read it last night.

I think it is the height of rudeness to negatively comment about what someone makes for you. It's ill-mannered and self-centered. Can you tell this bothers me?!

I had three back-to-back instances that forever affected how I think about food and company.

1.) DH and I were a young married couple and invited a friend over. I fixed a very healthy meal, chicken and rice and salad. I made home-made brownies. After dinner I pulled out the brownies and the friend informed me that he does not eat sweets. Not a big deal but I was a little disappointed.

2.) DH and I invited two couples over for dinner. I fixed my favorite chicken with cheese and cream dish and another less calorie-laden dish . One of the guests commented over and over about how much cholesterol was in the chicken dish and how she couldn't possibly eat something so bad for her. Her husband commented that it was the best thing he had ever eaten! I was a little hurt by the friend who wouldn't eat my meal. Fine, don't eat it but don't complain about it!

3.) DH invited a friend over for dinner. I asked DH what the friend liked to eat (having learned from the two former incidences). DH said anything. DD was little and I wasn't up to much cooking but I busted my butt to make something nice. Friend arrives, I set out dinner, and friend informs me that he is a vegetarian and can't eat my dinner. I was MORTIFIED. I really wanted to smack DH upside the head but I also wanted to cry. So, I went upstairs to feed DD and cried.

From these three experiences I learned two things:

1.) I will ALWAYS ask ahead of time about dietary restrictions, allergies and likes/dislikes.

2.) I will ALWAYS, within my power, eat what is served me. And I will NOT comment on something I don't like or something I wouldn't normally eat. I will ONLY make positive comments on what someone provides for me. I have a daughter with peanut allergies so clearly I understand when a food cannot be eaten, but I will teach my kids that they are to behave the same way.

:yeahthat: I'm sorry that happened to you and I completely agree with you. I invited some ladies over from the new neighborhood we'd just moved to. I never thought to ask about food allergies or preferences. So, I made a really nice lunch, served with cloth napkins and matching placemats and tablecloth, the whole shebang. I really wanted them to be impressed and relax since they left their children with babysitters. I made a nice lunch complete with individual chocolate tarts. The tarts were a lot of work. One friend said she couldn't eat my salad because it had walnuts in it. Both new "friends" said they couldn't eat the tarts because one didn't like chocolate and the other was allergic to almonds. If i had known this, I'd have left all the nuts out of everything. In the end, no one even touched the chocolate tarts (which DH proclaimed to be awesome. They were an epicurious recipe). It really hurt.

I have family that thinks heavily processed foods are fine. And when we visit, I tell my kids to try it. If they dont' eat it because they don't like the taste or for whatever reason, I make sure the hostess thinks the kids didn't like it because they'd just had a snack before hand. Processed foods once per month or even once per week isn't going to hurt them or taint their taste buds for whole foods. It's more important to me that they see me going out of my way to let our hostess know we appreciate her hospitality.

ETA: despite what I posted above, I think posters are coming down pretty hard on infomama.

[wimama]

FWIW, we purchased the Feingold materials but have never done the full plan. Right when I was ready to start, DH lost his job and we needed to just eat what I already had since we'd be moving soon. Plus, it's more $ to purhase specific and researched approved-brands. I hope to do it fully in the future.
We basically just follow the suggestions and avoid artificial triggers. if your child has specific issues like hyperactivity, I highly recommend it to identify problem foods. For some, it is even natural foods like berries, and you won't know if you don't do an elimination-type diet.

Are you still a member? There were some really great post on the Feingold board about doing the diet on a budget. Some stuff is a lot more expensive. But a lot of stuff is similar in price. It is the convenience food that are a lot more expensive, like chicken nuggets and such. I buy Feingold acceptable cereal at $2 a box. Check out the post on the board or PM me if I can be of some help.


Of course you're right about that. I'd no more ask a Fiengold diet kid to eat dyes than I'd ask a diabetic kid to eat cake. Or a kid who keeps kosher to eat pork.

The anecdote I was thinking of when I mentioned the ungracious guest was from my DH.... he was staying for dinner at a friend's house (without his parents) when he was a kid, and was offered Chef-Boy-R-Dee. He refused it and explained, at the dinner table, why his mom's from-scratch Italian was so much better. He is still embarrassed about his behavior 25+ years later.

I don't think kids have to eat anything they don't want to as a guest. But kids need to know how to politely decline what's being offered, and we as parents should be role models. In other words, don't eat it if you don't want it, but avoid explaining why your way is better than your hosts. I'm a vegetarian so I run into this a lot. If there's not a meatless choice I say I already ate, or I'd be delighted with just side dishes, or bring my own. I don't debate or explain the ethical choices that brought me where I am, or rise to baiting comments (usually revolving around the deliciousness of bacon).

I do have a HUGE problem with my mom wanting to feed the kids junk..... she is shockingly ignorant about nutrition and really only thinks about food in terms of the pleasure it can bring (and I don't mean the pleasure of feeling healthy). Fortunately she only visits rarely. For a lot of reasons I'd love to see her more often but nutritionally? No, she's a disaster. I am not sure how I'd handle it if I had to deal with it more often. I know it's hard and I really do sympathize with parents who deal with this sort of conflict every day. But I still do think that avoiding the topic is much more effective than explaining your position. For most people talk about avoiding processed food is about as welcome as a vegetarian talking about slaughterhouses.

Gotcha!:thumbsup:

We try to be discrete and polite when a guest in someones home or at a party. Most of our friends and DS friends know about his diet. I either bring all the food for our DS and/or offer to bring some dishes to share that he can eat. He has a kiddie party coming up that I had to explain to the mom that he would be bringing some food to the party due to his diet sensitivities. I am not sure if parents are staying for this party, so she needed to know. At party I will just slip a piece of safe pizza on his plate and he will then eat his cupcake I send.

I don't really volunteer information about his diet unless someone asks. I just try to be discrete and slip DS his own food. Often other parents are curious on why he is eating different food. I just volunteer that he has food allergies and sensitivities. If they don't ask more I don't volunteer more. If they continue to question me about his allergies, I tell them that he is allergic to artificial dyes, preservatives and flavors and some fruits. And that prior to switching his diet he had lots of respiratory problems, behavior problems, and problems with his attention, which are all better now with his his new diet. Probably more than they wanted to know, but I don't want them thinking I am just some sort of crazy strict granola mom. (No offence to anyone, I consider myself semi-crunchy.)

We haven't really coached DS on what to say to others. He seems to do just fine himself. Recently, at 41/2 I have heard him recent tell an adult who offered him food, something like "I have food allergies, I eat food my mommy brings." Because DS is so young, I was careful when explaining his new diet to him to tell him that although some of these food he can't eat make him sick, they might are not necessarily bad for other people to eat. He had just watched Snow White and I told him the bad foods were like the bad apple she ate. All apples are not bad, but that apple was bad for Snow White and some foods were bad apple foods for him and some foods were good apple foods. At the time I told him Mommy & Daddy were going to do their best to only feed him good apple foods. He really seemed to grasp that. A year later, he still goes around asking me if food is good apple or bad apple or on mommy's list or not on the list. We are starting to explain things to him more, but I don't want him saying something rude to someone. So, we have left it as that for now. He has never snubbed his nose at food someone is serving. He just declines it and comes looking for his food. Or brings me to the food and asks what he can eat.

I have never encountered anyone who said negative about our choices except my Dad has told me that "You grew up on that food and you turned out ok". My Dad is a big junk food guy and he is slowly coming around. My mother is good at respecting our parenting choices and we live with my MIL. My MIL has seen the difference herself in DS with the diet and is a believer.

[JBaxter]

Nathan at 7 pretty much knows what he can eat and cant. He was offered a cupcake w/ icing with blue sprinkles. He tole the mom ( was birthday at school) that he couldnt have that he was allergic and the colors made him all crazy. The mom was taken aback. His teacher called me and asked if he could have just the cupcake which was made from scratch. They removed the icing and he was able to have it. His teacher explained to the mom about Nathans "allergy" and the dye issues.

Now he CAN get a little sarcastic at church one evening he said to the teacher... Are you TRYING to make me get crazy and get in trouble ... its going to happen if I eat that. We have to work on graciously declining but to him it is someone trying to give him things he KNOWS he cant have.

[Uno-Mom]

OP, [edit for length] It's pretty clear to me that there is one person who tries to push your buttons by serving your kid food you don't want her/him to eat. :

I agree. I got what you meant. It's one particular person & I bet they undermine you in other ways, too. It's not just the food.

I think a lot of people are sensitive about this topic because what we feed our families and guests is so personal. Even though DH does most/all our cooking (maybe BECAUSE DH does all our cooking & I appreciate it so much) I think of hospitality and cooking as a form of love. Having someone criticize how we feed our families feels like they are saying we don't care, or don't love. That goes whether they think we're silly for wanting whole organic food...or silly for considering processed food.

That's why, even though I'm not very sensitive, personally, about pre-made non-organic foods ... I'm interested in why other people are and how they go about it. I do have some parenting areas where I'm VERY opinionated and counter-cultural so I feel commonality with people who are that way about food. KWIM?

[goldenpig]

Infomama, I'm sorry you're feeling attacked. It sucks--that happened to me a few months ago on a thread I posted and people were reading things into my thoughts/motivations that just weren't true. I think I understand where you're coming from, it's tough when the relative knows what you don't want your kids to have and deliberately feeds them it anyways. Way different situation from being a dinner guest and criticizing what is served. Maybe you can just bring food with you whenever you're visiting this person.

I do think that in general it is good & polite to accept what is offered and that eating "junk food" occasionally doesn't hurt, but it's different if it's an allergy or if your DC has a definite reaction to certain foods (eg like the kids who are on the Feingold diet mentioned above). Or if it's really important to you for whatever reason, it's your kid and you get to decide what they eat. As long as you're refusing graciously I don't see a problem with it.

On a side note since people posted how disappointed they were when food was refused by their guests, what do you do if you're going to someone's house and they don't ask you about your dietary restrictions? We went for brunch to a friend's house with several other families. I absolutely can't have dairy because of DS's milk protein intolerance. She didn't ask and I didn't tell her because I knew if I did she would feel obligated to change whatever she was making to be dairy free and I didn't think that was fair to her & all the other guests. So I brought some dairy free pumpkin muffins and that was the only thing I ended up being able to eat besides some fruit. She had made quiche, and there were a bunch of breads and baked goods that had butter in them. But now I'm wondering if she felt bad about it and that I should have told her. I think if I was going over to a friend's house for dinner and it was just us going, that I'd probably mention it even if I wasn't asked though because it'd probably be rude to refuse the whole dinner.

[NancyJ_redo]

OP, I do think people are being really harsh to you. It's pretty clear to me that there is one person who tries to push your buttons by serving your kid food you don't want her/him to eat. Somehow people have decided to call you rude and ungracious. I get what you're saying. It's not a big issue with me, but I totally understand. :hug:

:yeahthat:

[WolfpackMom]

Infomama, I'm sorry you're feeling attacked. It sucks--that happened to me a few months ago on a thread I posted and people were reading things into my thoughts/motivations that just weren't true. I think I understand where you're coming from, it's tough when the relative knows what you don't want your kids to have and deliberately feeds them it anyways. Way different situation from being a dinner guest and criticizing what is served. Maybe you can just bring food with you whenever you're visiting this person.

:yeahthat:
I think the thread morphed a little out of your situation to something else. I also think that the responses (including mine) that noted it would be rude, are NOT referring to instances where people are on restricted diets for health reasons such as food sensitivities, allergies, diabetes, etc. or where people are deliberately doing something to just be mean or undermine another person. Sorry if what I said earlier hurt your feelings! :hug:

[wimama]

Infomama, I'm sorry you're feeling attacked. It sucks--that happened to me a few months ago on a thread I posted and people were reading things into my thoughts/motivations that just weren't true. I think I understand where you're coming from, it's tough when the relative knows what you don't want your kids to have and deliberately feeds them it anyways. Way different situation from being a dinner guest and criticizing what is served. Maybe you can just bring food with you whenever you're visiting this person.

I do think that in general it is good & polite to accept what is offered and that eating "junk food" occasionally doesn't hurt, but it's different if it's an allergy or if your DC has a definite reaction to certain foods (eg like the kids who are on the Feingold diet mentioned above). Or if it's really important to you for whatever reason, it's your kid and you get to decide what they eat. As long as you're refusing graciously I don't see a problem with it.

On a side note since people posted how disappointed they were when food was refused by their guests, what do you do if you're going to someone's house and they don't ask you about your dietary restrictions? We went for brunch to a friend's house with several other families. I absolutely can't have dairy because of DS's milk protein intolerance. She didn't ask and I didn't tell her because I knew if I did she would feel obligated to change whatever she was making to be dairy free and I didn't think that was fair to her & all the other guests. So I brought some dairy free pumpkin muffins and that was the only thing I ended up being able to eat besides some fruit. She had made quiche, and there were a bunch of breads and baked goods that had butter in them. But now I'm wondering if she felt bad about it and that I should have told her. I think if I was going over to a friend's house for dinner and it was just us going, that I'd probably mention it even if I wasn't asked though because it'd probably be rude to refuse the whole dinner.

:yeahthat:

Infomama- If you have repeatedly told your family member what food is ok and is not ok, then them disregarding your parenting choices is rude. This is a family member and you should be able to speak frankly with them, not a new acquaintance. I would just bring some food from home next time. Maybe, not the whole meal, but maybe some snacks that you are ok with.

Goldenpig- That is why I usually discreetly mention to the host that my DS has food sensitivities. I don't want the host to think I don't like her food and offend them. If it is a small enough party where the host might notice what you are eating, then I would mention it.

[wellyes]

Infomama please don't feel attacked, I think this is a useful discussion, thanks for bringing up the topic.

We do mention food restrictions but always couch it by saying that we usually just bring our own food. Truth is, most hosts do accommodate our limitations, but I want to give an easy out if they don't want to for whatever reason. I hate imposing but i know how disappointing it can be to someone if their hard work in preparing doesn't pan out for reasons that a simple phone call could have prevented.

[MelissaTC]

[QUOTE=Nooknookmom;2991452] ONCE in a while I make Velveeta/Pace melted dip. Like once every two years.

MMMMMmmmm, we just had Velveeta and Rotel tomatoes melted together to serve with chips for New Year's Eve. And we might have it again if we have a party this summer but otherwise, any Velveeta I have expires in the pantry untouched. Once in a while is fine for us but not more than that.

I make this dip once, maybe twice a year. YUM!!!!!! I love it mixed with the authentic jarred salsa from TJs. So good!!!!

[kijip]

Do you have one of these in your family? The one who thinks that because it's made at home that it's homemade even though it's full of preservatives and nastiness? Who insists on letting your dc have things like circus peanuts and fritos ever though you make it very clean that you read labels, avoid HFCS/artificial colors, flavors, preservatives and so on??

"It's in everything" is NOT true!!!

I think I may appear to be some sort of radical hippie to this person.

Suggestions??

Infomama, yeah, I have someone like that in my family. It seems to be their sport to try and convince me that there is no reason to eat the way we do. I DO NOT speak the gospel of foodie wherever I go, but they assume that anything that is not the way they do it makes us food snobs. Frankly, I think they are the snobs because they are the ones that can't shut the %^#! up about it. And we eat anything we are served or quietly don't eat something we can't. So I don't have advice, just hugs. I totally understand the original intent of your post, sorry you have been picked apart. I also get that people will say things here that they would never say to a person IRL, that is part of the role of a message board. I abhor my brother's penchant for crappy chain restaurants like Olive Garden and Claimjumpers. People on this board know my feelings more than he does. I have never uttered a peep to him and never will. If I am treating for his birthday, I will go there and eat without saying anything negative. :hug:

[citymama]

OP, I do think people are being really harsh to you. It's pretty clear to me that there is one person who tries to push your buttons by serving your kid food you don't want her/him to eat. Somehow people have decided to call you rude and ungracious. I get what you're saying. It's not a big issue with me, but I totally understand. :hug:

I agree with this! I take a break from the boards one weekend and I return to a food fight! Come on people, let's have some perspective. If you don't want to feed your kids Velveeta, you shouldn't have to. If I had jumped in on this thread before all the madness broke out, I'd have said "yes, I do have someone like that in my life who's always trying to feed my DD defrosted chicken nuggets and Kraft Mac and cheese. My sister." This is someone who I adore and appreciate in a million ways. She just feeds her kids differently from me. I have never discouraged DD from trying it and encourage her to be a gracious guest. Needless to say, DD does not consider either of those items food (she is too young to be a snob - they just don't taste good to her) and will just ask for more milk to fill up her tummy. For their part, this person's kids will not eat the home-made pizza or other food at our place bc it's not what they're used to. She brings the jarred alfredo sauce, I boil some pasta, everyone's happy, and I am not in the least bit insulted.

OP, please don't let this thread make you want to stop coming here. It's just Velveeta! Please stay.

[citymama]

Since when did eating wholesome food equate to being "crunchy"??

And as a late arrival to this party (;)), I couldn't agree with this more. It is scary to contemplate the extent of our dissociation with food if food-like products are considered more mainstream American than food - food being derived from things that grow from the ground and not stuff made in factories. Eating food - fresh fruits, vegetables, healthy dairy products - should not be the prerogative of some kind of fringe group.

[hillview]

My parents used to be like this -- they'd sneak DS food I didn't want him to eat. They have SLOWLY come around some. We have had multiple discussions about why and over the last couple of years there has been a lot more mainstream press about the food we all eat. So yes, my dad is a little like this (was a lot worse 4 years ago!). He eats fast food weekly and my kids don't. For him it is more education than mal-intent (I think). So over time he has learned some (although he still struggles) also his health (high blood pressure and other issues) had perhaps had him rethink my point of view.

HUGS
/hillary

[minnie-zb]

Like some of the others I've been thinking about this post a lot too. And as soon as I saw the title of the post I knew it would be trouble. I know the OP was directing it to a particular person who is a thorn in her side, but the post was going to offend -- it was harsh and there are lots and lots of people who eat Velveeta and use canned soups, etc. to prepare meals. There's no way (if you fall into the category who enjoys Velveeta) that you could not be offended by the post. You've just been told your cooking is horrible and you are feeding your family poorly.

[egoldber]

When I was growing up, my family considered the processed, prepared foods like Velveeta, as special foods and extravaganzas. So it was something to aspire to, KWIM? "Rich" people ate store bought foods and "poor" people ate plain, homecooked food. So I think a lot of people were raised in a generation where they totally bought into the marketing that processed was a "step up". I think that many older people who were raised in that generation of the Depression or right after it still have a lot of that mentality.

[lhafer]

Like some of the others I've been thinking about this post a lot too. And as soon as I saw the title of the post I knew it would be trouble. I know the OP was directing it to a particular person who is a thorn in her side, but the post was going to offend -- it was harsh and there are lots and lots of people who eat Velveeta and use canned soups, etc. to prepare meals. There's no way (if you fall into the category who enjoys Velveeta) that you could not be offended by the post. You've just been told your cooking is horrible and you are feeding your family poorly.

Well, as a velveeta eater (just ate Rotel during a football game this weeken) I can see how the title could be offensive. I read this thread and thought, "we eat the stuff, her family doesn't. Moving on."

I think people feel the need to defend their actions or thoughts. Why? Your family is not my family. What works for mine might not work for yours. And the same goes for families within families! Just because grandparents or in laws eat this or that, doesn't mean your family should, nor should they try to force their food onto anyone.

I'm sorry Infomama has decided to leave the board because of this thread. I hope she decided to find her way back here some day.

[pinkmomagain]

I have not been involved with this thread and don't feel passionate about the subject at all. So as an "outsider" looking in I think the wording of the OP could have been better in terms of 1) expressing the original poster's dilemma, 2) not being so inflammatory (unintentionally!) to others. Something like "I am having a problem with a family member who insists on giving my dc foods that he/she knows I do not want for my child. Any suggestions on how to handle this?" Details like: how frequently this comes up, how it's been handled up until now, is this person a caregiver when OP is not around or is OP present when the food is being served...all would've been helpful for clarification in the original post. There was some clarification in subsequent posts, however, oftentimes people respond after just reading the initial post and don't get the benefit of further details.

I too have been guilty of being either rushed or passionate or just not wise in my word choices...and have been called out on it. I appreciate when it's been pointed out, apologize, and clarify.

I hope Infomama reevaluates and comes back to BBB. The root of the problem seems tobe a communication issue which we have all had to deal with on this board, I suspect.

[Green_Tea]

I have not been involved with this thread and don't feel passionate about the subject at all. So as an "outsider" looking in I think the wording of the OP could have been better in terms of 1) expressing the original poster's dilemma, 2) not being so inflammatory (unintentionally!) to others. Something like "I am having a problem with a family member who insists on giving my dc foods that he/she knows I am do not want for my child. Any suggestions on how to handle this?" Details like: how frequently this comes up, how it's been handled up until now, is this person a caregiver when OP is not around or is OP present when the food is being served...all would've been helpful for clarification in the original post. There was some clarification in subsequent posts, however, oftentimes people respond after just reading the initial post and don't get the benefit of further details.

I too have been guilty of being either rushed or passionate or just not wise in my word choices...and have been called out on it. I appreciate when it's been pointed out, apologize, and clarify.

I hope Infomama reevaluates and comes back to BBB. The root of the problem seems to have been communication issues which we have all had to deal with on this board, I suspect.

:yeahthat:

Yes to all of this. I am sure that the OP wrote the subject of her post when she was feeling upset and angry with her family. Because for some people Velveeta actually IS food, feelings got hurt. What we feed our families is an expression of our love and commitment to them, and to be told that you are feeding them junk? Well, that hurts. We're all doing our best.

I think, though, the OP is typically a compassionate and thoughtful poster who was having an off day and simply failed to communicate well. Hopefully she will choose to come back after she's had a break.

[Ceepa]

What we feed our families is an expression of our love and commitment to them, and to be told that you are feeding them junk? Well, that hurts. We're all doing our best.

I admit to bristling every time certain foods are referred to as "crap" because to me it's offensive to blatantly call something that a person feeds their family "crap" even if you don't agree with it.

[JBaxter]

Interesting... Since I have not bough Velveeta in at least 10yrs I started googling.
http://www.squidoo.com/velveetainfo
Who Buys Velveeta?
Well, a lot of us have it safely hidden behind the Wheaties in the pantry, so no one will find out. However, there are those that embrace their relationship with Velveeta. About 5% of the population buys about 75% of all Velveeta sold in the United States.


Read more: http://healthmad.com/nutrition/is-velveeta-cheese-bad-for-you/#ixzz1Ae9lM0NV

Although Velveeta cheese advertises itself as a soft cheese, if you study the label you’ll see it’s actually a ‘processed cheese food”. A closer inspection of the Velveeta cheese label shows that the only mention of cheese is the last item on the list which is labeled “cheese culture”. Other ingredients include milk, milk fat, whey protein, and alginate which is a gum found in seaweed. It also contains sodium citrate and coloring. If you’re looking for a natural food product, Velveeta isn’t a good choice since it’s undergone a fair amount of processing.

[sewarsh]

[QUOTE=JBaxter;2992143
Although Velveeta cheese advertises itself as a soft cheese, if you study the label you’ll see it’s actually a ‘processed cheese food”. A closer inspection of the Velveeta cheese label shows that the only mention of cheese is the last item on the list which is labeled “cheese culture”. Other ingredients include milk, milk fat, whey protein, and alginate which is a gum found in seaweed. It also contains sodium citrate and coloring. If you’re looking for a natural food product, Velveeta isn’t a good choice since it’s undergone a fair amount of processing.[/QUOTE]

OMG! NASTY! Sorry to anyone who doesn't agree, but this makes me want to barf!! :rotflmao:

Clearly, I'm saying this in a joking, but serious manner!

[egoldber]

Oddly enough, my SIL is a food scientist (she develops new foods for a major food manufactuer) and her specialty is cheese and "cheese foods". Technically, Velveeta is not cheese. It does not meet the legal definition of cheese so it cannot be labelled as cheese, which is why it is a "processed cheese food" (which also has a specific definition).

ETA: Oops, took too long to post and duplicated the PP.

[wellyes]

I think the OP probably meant to put this in Bitching Post, not the Lounge. That small distinction makes a big difference -- discussion topic vs venting.

[kristenk]

Along the lines of velveeta ingredients, etc., does it surprise anyone else to learn that the only ingredients in Fritos are corn, corn oil and salt?

ETA: I'm sharing this info b/c it really surprised me when my sister told me. I always assumed that all of the standard chips would have a lot of extra chemically ingredients in them.

[BabyBearsMom]

:yeahthat:

Yes to all of this. I am sure that the OP wrote the subject of her post when she was feeling upset and angry with her family. Because for some people Velveeta actually IS food, feelings got hurt. What we feed our families is an expression of our love and commitment to them, and to be told that you are feeding them junk? Well, that hurts. We're all doing our best.

I think, though, the OP is typically a compassionate and thoughtful poster who was having an off day and simply failed to communicate well. Hopefully she will choose to come back after she's had a break.

:yeahthat: Wow, I'm a little late to this thread and was pretty surprised to see 9 pages of discussion on velveeta. I will from time to time eat velveeta, but it isn't a frequent food. DD hasn't had it. I totally get where OP is coming from. As I frequently discuss in a b*tching post, my MIL and SIL are super hard on me about the choices that i make for DD. They frequently comment that I am being a "snob" just because I don't want DD to have dairy products with hormones in them and because I buy antibiotic/hormone free/grass fed beef for her. So OP, I feel for you.

[JBaxter]

Along the lines of velveeta ingredients, etc., does it surprise anyone else to learn that the only ingredients in Fritos are corn, corn oil and salt?

ETA: I'm sharing this info b/c it really surprised me when my sister told me. I always assumed that all of the standard chips would have a lot of extra chemically ingredients in them.

No.. I we don't regularly buy them but the were on the Feingold list. I havent checked in a while. Im rather brand loyal on a lot of things and do read new item lables.

[lhafer]

Just remember that for ALL the food the FDA controls, it allows for an "acceptible levels of filth" of things such as:
rat hairs
lead
bacteria
mold
insect parts

You get the idea....

If you don't believe me...look up
Defect Levels Handbook, The Food Defect Action Levels, Levels of natural or unavoidable defects in foods that present no health hazards for humans on the FDA's website.

And just think...a few seconds ago, you only though Velveeta was gross! :hysterical:

[BabyBearsMom]

Just remember that for ALL the food the FDA controls, it allows for an "acceptible levels of filth" of things such as:
rat hairs
lead
bacteria
mold
insect parts

You get the idea....

If you don't believe me...look up
Defect Levels Handbook, The Food Defect Action Levels, Levels of natural or unavoidable defects in foods that present no health hazards for humans on the FDA's website.

And just think...a few seconds ago, you only though Velveeta was gross! :hysterical:

:rotflmao: I had a psych professor once who passed out fig newtons. After everyone ate them he told us the percentage of insect eggs that were allowed to be in the fig newtons. I still can't eat fig newtons to this day.

[sewarsh]

A tad off topic, but you probably do NOT want to read this article:

The Maggots in your Mushrooms:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/13/opinion/13levy.html?_r=3

Yuck!

[o_mom]

Along the lines of velveeta ingredients, etc., does it surprise anyone else to learn that the only ingredients in Fritos are corn, corn oil and salt?

ETA: I'm sharing this info b/c it really surprised me when my sister told me. I always assumed that all of the standard chips would have a lot of extra chemically ingredients in them.

That's why it is one of the few 'junky' things we eat. One of the blogs I read talked about choosing the healthier 'junk'. Tortilla and corn chips have very short ingredient lists. Pretzels are another - not health food, kind of empty carbs, but they aren't loaded with bad things. These are the kind of things that we put in lunches so that the kids feel like they are still getting 'chips' like their friends.

OP: I'm sorry the thread took a bad turn. When I first read it, I thought it was a BP item - a venting post - but it since it was in the lounge, it came across a bit harsh. It seems like the wording put a lot of people on the defensive and they missed that you were asking for suggestions.

[artvandalay]

A tad off topic, but you probably do NOT want to read this article:

The Maggots in your Mushrooms:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/13/opinion/13levy.html?_r=3

Yuck!

OMG I cannot read that. I love mushrooms with all my heart! Besides, maggots are probably high in protein, right?;)

[Jenn27]

We are also a Feingold family so we have to refuse food sometimes. I usually briefly describe the issue and move on. Both sets of Grandparents, however, initially took it to mean I was being a 'mean mom' and tried to sneak chips, cookies, etc. So I let them unleash the beast :) Now they go along with whatever food I provide. In public, I choose 'safe' foods or politely ask about ingredients. I do think dietary restrictions are a bit more acceptable, though if you don't want them eating it, it's your decision.
Velveeta... I love some velveeta sausage dip (though I make it maybe every 2 years) but don't buy velveeta otherwise. Though if DD weren't on Feingold, I'd let her taste it!

[wimama]

Along the lines of velveeta ingredients, etc., does it surprise anyone else to learn that the only ingredients in Fritos are corn, corn oil and salt?

ETA: I'm sharing this info b/c it really surprised me when my sister told me. I always assumed that all of the standard chips would have a lot of extra chemically ingredients in them.

Surprising isn't it. I would have thought that there were a bunch of preservatives in it. But, there are no preservatives.


OMG I cannot read that. I love mushrooms with all my heart! Besides, maggots are probably high in protein, right?;)

I am so not reading that article. I know there are lots of gross things in food, but I also tell myself what I don't know doesn't hurt me and yes the bugs add protein. In general I have had way too many biology classes in my lifetime and I tend to over-cook everything to be sure all the bacteria are killed.

[goldenpig]

I think the OP probably meant to put this in Bitching Post, not the Lounge. That small distinction makes a big difference -- discussion topic vs venting.



OP: I'm sorry the thread took a bad turn. When I first read it, I thought it was a BP item - a venting post - but it since it was in the lounge, it came across a bit harsh. It seems like the wording put a lot of people on the defensive and they missed that you were asking for suggestions.

Hmm, I wasn't aware of this rule. Shouldn't we should try to express our differences in a respectful and supportive manner no matter which forum it's posted in? I agree that the title and wording in the OP contributed to the problem, but that doesn't mean it's OK for people to attack the OP when she stated she was asking for suggestions. It's not like she's a troll trying to incite responses. People may have felt defensive, but that doesn't mean they should be "harsh responding to harsh".

[TwinFoxes]

Hmm, I wasn't aware of this rule. Shouldn't we should try to express our differences in a respectful and supportive manner no matter which forum it's posted in? I agree that the title and wording in the OP contributed to the problem, but that doesn't mean it's OK for people to attack the OP when she stated she was asking for suggestions. It's not like she's a troll trying to incite responses. People may have felt defensive, but that doesn't mean they should be "harsh responding to harsh".

:yeahthat: Two wrongs don't make a right.

[o_mom]

Hmm, I wasn't aware of this rule. Shouldn't we should try to express our differences in a respectful and supportive manner no matter which forum it's posted in? I agree that the title and wording in the OP contributed to the problem, but that doesn't mean it's OK for people to attack the OP when she stated she was asking for suggestions. It's not like she's a troll trying to incite responses. People may have felt defensive, but that doesn't mean they should be "harsh responding to harsh".

That's not what I meant at all. There is often a much wider lattitude given in the BP. People say things that they may feel but know it isn't polite to say directly to the person (especially ILs) as venting. Reading a post like that in the context of the BP, it is understood that it is venting and that the poster doesn't necessarily want to be told how their feeling is rude or wrong. The tone of this post reads more like that and it wasn't until going back to re-read it that I saw it was in the Lounge and understood that there was actually a request for suggestions and not just someone wanting commiseration in dealing with a difficult relative/friend (if you don't navigate the forums and just read from new posts, which forum it is in can easily be missed).

I didn't say at all that it excused attacking the OP, just that it is obvious to me (and others) how telling someone that what they are eating is not food and full of nastiness, along with no context, is bound to be misinterpreted and may offend some people. I don't think that it was the intention at all of the OP to offend, but sometimes things are read very differently than how we think they will be.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

That's not what I meant at all. There is often a much wider lattitude given in the BP. People say things that they may feel but know it isn't polite to say directly to the person (especially ILs) as venting. Reading a post like that in the context of the BP, it is understood that it is venting and that the poster doesn't necessarily want to be told how their feeling is rude or wrong. The tone of this post reads more like that and it wasn't until going back to re-read it that I saw it was in the Lounge and understood that there was actually a request for suggestions and not just someone wanting commiseration in dealing with a difficult relative/friend (if you don't navigate the forums and just read from new posts, which forum it is in can easily be missed).

I didn't say at all that it excused attacking the OP, just that it is obvious to me (and others) how telling someone that what they are eating is not food and full of nastiness, along with no context, is bound to be misinterpreted and may offend some people. I don't think that it was the intention at all of the OP to offend, but sometimes things are read very differently than how we think they will be.

:yeahthat:

i read things in the BP and if i don't agree with or don't understand the overall sentiment, i simply don't respond because i figure the OP is just venting and is looking for others (who may have been in similar situations) to commiserate. however, because it was placed in the Lounge i figured it was more a topic of discussion (asking for suggestions, thoughts etc) versus just venting.

to be honest, i've never eaten Velveeta in my life (so i don't have strong feelings for it) and actually i wasn't even really offended by the tone of the original post. reading back in the thread, I guess what bothered me was the tone of the responses that a few others gave in response to the first post, which seemed like they were bashing anybody who dared to serve boxed/packaged foods (aka "crap") at their house. bc i've been on the receiving end of these types of criticisms/judgments, that overall sentiment bothered me and i felt like i needed to respond. i apologize if i sounded like i was attacking the OP, i guess what i was responding to were sentiments that others (not so much the OP) expressed towards the start of the thread.

[deborah_r]

Well, as a velveeta eater (just ate Rotel during a football game this weeken) I can see how the title could be offensive. I read this thread and thought, "we eat the stuff, her family doesn't. Moving on."

I think people feel the need to defend their actions or thoughts. Why? Your family is not my family. What works for mine might not work for yours. And the same goes for families within families! Just because grandparents or in laws eat this or that, doesn't mean your family should, nor should they try to force their food onto anyone.

I'm sorry Infomama has decided to leave the board because of this thread. I hope she decided to find her way back here some day.

This is me. I wasn't offended because although we do use Velveeta occasionally, I will totally admit it's not healthy and it isn't real cheese! It's "processed cheese food", and every once in a while, we like to have it (especially with Rotel and chips - yum!) The OP is upset by someone who is insisting it is "homemade" (which has a healthy connotation) when it is made with Velveeta. I would think boxed M&C would be more healthy (but I don't know, just guessing) because while you are using the powdered cheese, you are adding real milk and butter.

[scriptkitten]

i try to buy good ingredients when i can and make smart choices about my produce, but its more important to me that i get my twins to EAT than it is to cram all of the super vegetarian stuff that i crave down their throats.

i cringe inside when i see that super low quality ingredients are being used to make a meal for my family, but outwardly i'm gracious and if it's delicious i ask for seconds.

one night of mediocre food isn't going to kill anyone or make anyone fat. and come on.. none of us are eating food that was scavenged from a polluted river bank or from an apocalyptic garden. there are better things to stress about.

and for the record… 3 of the most healthy, clean-eating, clean-living, nature-living people that i've ever known have suffered through painful, catastrophic cancers. Two of them are dead. Whole Foods isn't going to save you from everything, or maybe it won't save you from anything at all.

and then you have people like my mom. she can't afford anything but store brands and i think it would be horribly pretentious of me to insist that she start grinding flour to make her own bread and growing her own string beans. she's too busy trying to earn a few bucks.

[goldenpig]

That's not what I meant at all. There is often a much wider lattitude given in the BP. People say things that they may feel but know it isn't polite to say directly to the person (especially ILs) as venting. Reading a post like that in the context of the BP, it is understood that it is venting and that the poster doesn't necessarily want to be told how their feeling is rude or wrong. The tone of this post reads more like that and it wasn't until going back to re-read it that I saw it was in the Lounge and understood that there was actually a request for suggestions and not just someone wanting commiseration in dealing with a difficult relative/friend (if you don't navigate the forums and just read from new posts, which forum it is in can easily be missed).

Yeah, I only click on New Posts so I usually don't pay attention to what forum it's in.


I didn't say at all that it excused attacking the OP, just that it is obvious to me (and others) how telling someone that what they are eating is not food and full of nastiness, along with no context, is bound to be misinterpreted and may offend some people. I don't think that it was the intention at all of the OP to offend, but sometimes things are read very differently than how we think they will be.

I think this kind of misunderstanding tends to happen a lot on the internet when you can't really get the nuances of communication just from reading a statement (I think someone mentioned that recently with another poster who did not use smilies to convey her intent/sarcasm). I still think we ought to give each other the benefit of the doubt though...I think we're all parents just doing our best and are basically good people, right? :22:

Oh and I've never eaten Velveeta, but I have eaten Pretzel Thins with Easy Cheese spray from a can when I was pregnant (why is it pregnancy brings out the worst in my dietary habits :bag) and it was pretty darn tasty! Too bad I can't have dairy anymore or I'd go out and buy some! :ROTFLMAO:

[Fairy]

I am so glad I don't have relatives/friends that are going to get angry at what I feed their kids

No, I don't read labels (much) for HFCS and such in food in my house. If you are that picky what your kid eats at my house, please bring food for your kid to eat. I do the best I can.

Homemade in my house probably DOES include stuff that you will turn your nose up as "not homemade" I don't make everything from scratch. I use canned foods and mixes and such. (and prefer it in some cases even!)

Honestly, why do you have to be so mean? Did you read the context the replies gave you at all?


responding to your original post
"The one who thinks that because it's made at home that it's homemade even though it's full of preservatives and nastiness?"

I would be very hurt if I served what I figured was my homemade food to someone and they turned their noses up and said "full of perservatives and nastiness"

Or even if I found they were saying that about my food behind my back.

I believe you'd be saying just this if you walked into my house, from what you said in your first post. SO maybe harsh? Responding to harsh.

But she didn't do that. She is frustrated at her friend's refusal to show her some respect. Info should go ahead and not refuse the food, and the friend should continue serving food against Info's wishes. That's nuts and unfair. She wasn't attacking you, V, she was trying to figure out how to navigate this with her friend, she clarified that very quickly, yet you come here well after the understanding has been made and make her feel bad. Why?


OP ... I think it is a very different scenario if the person making the food knows you are concerned yet makes it anyway.

This was the point.

[Fairy]

Like some of the others I've been thinking about this post a lot too. And as soon as I saw the title of the post I knew it would be trouble. I know the OP was directing it to a particular person who is a thorn in her side, but the post was going to offend -- it was harsh and there are lots and lots of people who eat Velveeta and use canned soups, etc. to prepare meals. There's no way (if you fall into the category who enjoys Velveeta) that you could not be offended by the post. You've just been told your cooking is horrible and you are feeding your family poorly.

She's since acknowledged that her title should have been different. Doesn't change the context of what she was saying, which was looking for help in how to navigate this with her friend that refuses to respect her wishes and, in fact, revels in the refusal.

[Fairy]

:rotflmao: I had a psych professor once who passed out fig newtons. After everyone ate them he told us the percentage of insect eggs that were allowed to be in the fig newtons. I still can't eat fig newtons to this day.

Thank you on ruining me on fig newtons. No, for real. I'm done with them now. I wonder if it's the fig or the processing.



A tad off topic, but you probably do NOT want to read this article:

The Maggots in your Mushrooms:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/13/opinion/13levy.html?_r=3

Yuck!

Yeah, and thanks to you, too ...

[Jo..]

Thank you on ruining me on fig newtons. No, for real. I'm done with them now. I wonder if it's the fig or the processing.




Yeah, and thanks to you, too ...

If I worried about every insect egg or not so-wholesome food, non-whole grain, non-organic food,...we would starve.

I saw a fruit fly or gnat flirting on the edge of my coffee cup yesterday, and I drank it anyway. It was good.

[goldenpig]

Thank you on ruining me on fig newtons. No, for real. I'm done with them now. I wonder if it's the fig or the processing.


Shall I start round 2? Fig Newton is not food. :wink2: Once when I was a kid my mom asked, "Do you want a cookie?" and she gave me a Fig Newton. Blech! :barf: I still haven't gotten over it. (I can eat fresh figs though!).

[Fairy]

If I worried about every insect egg or not so-wholesome food, non-whole grain, non-organic food,...we would starve.

I saw a fruit fly or gnat flirting on the edge of my coffee cup yesterday, and I drank it anyway. It was good.

Good. Enjoy.


Shall I start round 2? Fig Newton is not food. :wink2: Once when I was a kid my mom asked, "Do you want a cookie?" and she gave me a Fig Newton. Blech! :barf: I still haven't gotten over it. (I can eat fresh figs though!).

Of course, it's not food. It's cake! Heh.

[LexyLou]

If I worried about every insect egg or not so-wholesome food, non-whole grain, non-organic food,...we would starve.

I saw a fruit fly or gnat flirting on the edge of my coffee cup yesterday, and I drank it anyway. It was good.

God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt is my motto. I do have some limits, like a public bathroom floor and an airplane but ya, that's pretty much it.:ROTFLMAO:

BTW, can you believe I've never ever had Velveeta. What does it taste like?

[JBaxter]

If I worried about every insect egg or not so-wholesome food, non-whole grain, non-organic food,...we would starve.

I saw a fruit fly or gnat flirting on the edge of my coffee cup yesterday, and I drank it anyway. It was good.

LOL Jo you bug licker you.....

[srhs]

So let's diverge....

I personally did stop buying Velveeta when I started learning about processed foods a few years ago ... and have not had a good grilled cheese since!!! Ticks me off. Any tips?

[brittone2]

So let's diverge....

I personally did stop buying Velveeta when I started learning about processed foods a few years ago ... and have not had a good grilled cheese since!!! Ticks me off. Any tips?

I like muenster for grilled cheese. YMMV. It won't be velveeta, so you might have to adjust your expectations ;)

[Momit]

BTW, can you believe I've never ever had Velveeta. What does it taste like?

It makes an absolutely delicious warm dip for tortilla chips when you microwave it with RoTel tomatoes. Mmmmmm...

[TwinFoxes]

So let's diverge....

I personally did stop buying Velveeta when I started learning about processed foods a few years ago ... and have not had a good grilled cheese since!!! Ticks me off. Any tips?

I've never had Velveeta, and have had many delish grilled cheese sandwiches. What goes wrong? Is it the taste? I like Monterrey Jack or cheddar. Mmmm. With avocado. Mmmm.

[srhs]

I like muenster for grilled cheese. YMMV. It won't be velveeta, so you might have to adjust your expectations ;)


I've never had Velveeta, and have had many delish grilled cheese sandwiches. What goes wrong? Is it the taste? I like Monterrey Jack or cheddar. Mmmm. With avocado. Mmmm.

real cheese=greasy and not at all creamy, just oily....actually like the Velveeta commercial of the 80s where they pour Velveeta over broccoli... what was the jingle?

[Lolabee]

So let's diverge....

I personally did stop buying Velveeta when I started learning about processed foods a few years ago ... and have not had a good grilled cheese since!!! Ticks me off. Any tips?

Trader Joe's carries a really good organic sliced yellow cheese, it makes really yummy grilled cheese sandwiches. I highly recommend it!

[Fairy]

I like muenster for grilled cheese. YMMV. It won't be velveeta, so you might have to adjust your expectations ;)

I dont' actually like most cheese, but I am a muenster fan, and I do love that in grilled cheese. I also like pepper jack for grilled cheese. Not pourable or nuttin', but very creamy.

[boolady]

real cheese=greasy and not at all creamy, just oily....actually like the Velveeta commercial of the 80s where they pour Velveeta over broccoli... what was the jingle?

I've never had grilled cheese made with real cheese turn out oily. We use muenster or a mild cheddar or, best of all, a slice of each. I don't think I've ever had grilled cheese made with Velveeta.

[JBaxter]

I've never had grilled cheese made with real cheese turn out oily. We use muenster or a mild cheddar or, best of all, a slice of each. I don't think I've ever had grilled cheese made with Velveeta.

We usually buy boars head sliced cheddar for sandwiches and grilled cheese. Munster is good too.

[srhs]

Trader Joe's carries a really good organic sliced yellow cheese, it makes really yummy grilled cheese sandwiches. I highly recommend it!


I dont' actually like most cheese, but I am a muenster fan, and I do love that in grilled cheese. I also like pepper jack for grilled cheese. Not pourable or nuttin', but very creamy.


I've never had grilled cheese made with real cheese turn out oily. We use muenster or a mild cheddar or, best of all, a slice of each. I don't think I've ever had grilled cheese made with Velveeta.
FANTASTIC! We've mostly tried Cheddar. Will try muenster and TJs sometime (no TJs local but will put on ongoing list for next trip with a cooler!) DH says muenster is stinky, no?


We usually buy boars head sliced cheddar for sandwiches and grilled cheese. Munster is good too.
No BH in my area, but I will remember. Who knows when it will show up or when I will be in an area with it?

[mommylamb]

I'm a monteray jack fan for grilled cheese. or really for anything. just love the stuff.

[goldenpig]

Of course, it's not food. It's cake! Heh.

I LOVE cake! Fig Newton is not cake. :nono: Reminds me of one of those nasty cereal bars but even more pasty and gross. I'm going to have to find a slice of REAL cake now :p (although vegan cake is just not the same, sigh).

[TwinFoxes]

I've never had grilled cheese made with real cheese turn out oily.
Same here. Mine are all melty goodness. I wouldn't eat an oily sandwich. Maybe your pan is too hot and the bread gets done before the cheese melts?

[niccig]

It won't be velveeta, so you might have to adjust your expectations ;)

I've never had velveeta - is it like the Kraft singles that when melted it keeps it's shape, but just softer? I like how real cheese melts and you get the stringy bits as you pull the sandwich apart. DH says it's not a real grilled cheese if you don't use kraft singles...I call that plastic cheese, as I do the stuff that goes on nachoes at Taco Bell/the movies. If they're out for the day, DH will do Taco Bell with DS and DS gets the pot of plastic cheese to dip the tortilla chips in :barf:

I have a sandwich maker that makes grilled sandwiches and seals the sides, like this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandwich_toaster and DH says it's not a real grilled cheese sandwich as not done in the frying pan...whatever, as he doesn't cook, he gets things how I do them. Apparently I don't make PB&J right either, no one told me you don't put butter on the bread and I don't use skippy or grape jelly.. :rolleye0014:

[goldenpig]

So let's diverge....

I personally did stop buying Velveeta when I started learning about processed foods a few years ago ... and have not had a good grilled cheese since!!! Ticks me off. Any tips?

This is how I used to do it--melt butter in the cast iron skillet and toast both pieces with one Kraft cheese (or Horizon cheese for DD) slice on each side, then when nicely browned put the two halves together and microwave for 10-15 seconds to really melt the cheese. Sometimes I would add some ham too. Yum!

At least you can still eat cheese!...I have to be dairy-free right now and the fake vegan cheese is nasty. Even DD wouldn't eat it.

[Fairy]

FANTASTIC! We've mostly tried Cheddar. Will try muenster and TJs sometime (no TJs local but will put on ongoing list for next trip with a cooler!) DH says muenster is stinky, no?


I do wanna caution you against the lowfat stuff. That never melts well. And i don't go near cheddar, but I do remember trying to melt it over the years, and it's just an oily mess for me.

[marie]

(although vegan cake is just not the same, sigh).

you've never had my vegan cake (or brownies) :D

never had velveeta

and I use a sharp cheddar in grilled cheese sandwiches.

[brittone2]

cast iron makes great grilled cheese :heartbeat: Nice and crispy on the outside.

[goldenpig]

you've never had my vegan cake (or brownies) :D


Recipes, please? :praying:
ETA: I can eat eggs, just no butter/milk.

[arivecchi]

What??!!! Now Fig Newtons are not food either? What's next? JoJos?

[Fairy]

I LOVE cake! Fig Newton is not cake. :nono: Reminds me of one of those nasty cereal bars but even more pasty and gross. I'm going to have to find a slice of REAL cake now :p (although vegan cake is just not the same, sigh).

I was joking. It's from Nabisco's ad slogan of years ago, "A fig newton is not a cookie, it's fruit and cake." Perhaps this belongs in the pop culture you're to old/young to understand thread.

[MamaMolly]

I LOVE cake! Fig Newton is not cake. :nono: Reminds me of one of those nasty cereal bars but even more pasty and gross. I'm going to have to find a slice of REAL cake now :p (although vegan cake is just not the same, sigh).

Lula had a dairy allergy and for my birthday DH got me the vegan chocolate raspberry cake from Whole Foods. It is OMG good. The *best* frosting E.V.E.R. And this is from someone who makes the Hershey's buttercream, usually. Just to give you a comparison.

Or any number of cakes from The Joy of Vegan Baking. :) YUM!

[brittone2]

When I was dairy free with DS1 for a year, I used to make a great chocolate cake off of the vegweb site. Yummo. People asked for the recipe all of the time.

Something like this
http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=6433.0
( I remember it had vinegar. Can't forget that part of it!). I think the vinegar plus baking soda was theoretically supposed to help it taste lighter. It was good. Use a vegan margarine for the frosting.

A vegan friend loves that Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World cookbook (did I butcher the title? Something like that).

[MamaMolly]

What??!!! Now Fig Newtons are not food either? What's next? JoJos?

JoJos are not food. They are little cream filled wafers of goodness from Heaven.

[goldenpig]

I was joking. It's from Nabisco's ad slogan of years ago, "A fig newton is not a cookie, it's fruit and cake." Perhaps this belongs in the pop culture you're to old/young to understand thread.
:hysterical: Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel old!
But seriously, who buys this stuff? Probably the same people that actually eat the 10-year old Christmas fruitcakes that get passed around.

[daisymommy]

JoJos are not food. They are little cream filled wafers of goodness from Heaven.

:rotflmao:

[goldenpig]

Lula had a dairy allergy and for my birthday DH got me the vegan chocolate raspberry cake from Whole Foods. It is OMG good. The *best* frosting E.V.E.R. And this is from someone who makes the Hershey's buttercream, usually. Just to give you a comparison.

Or any number of cakes from The Joy of Vegan Baking. :) YUM!

Sounds yummy! Off to WF to investigate!
Oh yeah, I forgot. Earth Balance margarine kicks ass! I should make some cake with that.
DH made an entire Thanksgiving dinner :love-retry: using the Earth Balance, including a dairy-free cheesecake with some sort of tofu cream cheese and a berry coulis. It was the best cheesecake ever :love5: and I normally hate cheesecake--this was light and creamy, not heavy at all.

[niccig]

JoJos are not food. They are little cream filled wafers of goodness from Heaven.

:ROTFLMAO: I have not bought them as I know that I will become addicted.

[niccig]

DH made an entire Thanksgiving dinner :love-retry: using the Earth Balance, including a dairy-free cheesecake with some sort of tofu cream cheese and a berry coulis. It was the best cheesecake ever :love5: and I normally hate cheesecake--this was light and creamy, not heavy at all.

Now that's a recipe I want...

[Lolabee]

JoJos are not food. They are little cream filled wafers of goodness from Heaven.

And the peppermint JoJos are revelatory. Seriously, one of the yummiest (sweet) things I've consumed in my entire life. I don't know what I would do without Trader Joe's and their cream filled wafers of goodness.

[AnnieW625]

And the peppermint JoJos are revelatory. Seriously, one of the yummiest (sweet) things I've consumed in my entire life. I don't know what I would do without Trader Joe's and their cream filled wafers of goodness.

That's what I thought until I had the peanut butter ones they had in the variety pack during this past holiday season. Wow! I would be in trouble if they sold non chocolate covered peanut joe joe's all year round! Those are way better than the peppermint joe joes.

[wellyes]

I still think y'all made those peppermint JoJos up, I sent DH to the store like 4x looking for them in holiday seasons, no luck.

[Twoboos]

Fig Newton is not food. :wink2:




Of course, it's not food. It's cake! Heh.

Fairy, Just wanted to say I totally got, "It's fruit and cake!"

And wanted to add, if you've not tried Fig Newman's (as in, by Paul Newman) you are missing out. Like the difference between JoJo's and Oreo's. (Please select Low Fat, not Fat Free. And they do have a gluten free version as well. But I like Low Fat the best, and DDs love them!!)

[Purple18]

I love the turn this thread has taken! Thank you ladies!

[Lolabee]

I still think y'all made those peppermint JoJos up, I sent DH to the store like 4x looking for them in holiday seasons, no luck.

Hmm, maybe he just didn't manage to make it home with the box intact and was afraid to own up to it. Did he pass the peppermint sniff test?

[Fairy]

I just ate a JoJo. :D

[amldaley]

I just ate a Tofutti Cutie (mint chocolate chip!), so I guess I DO eat packaged foods and I would say that Tofutti is the Velveeta of the non-dairy "healthy" sect.

[Lolabee]

I just ate a Tofutti Cutie (mint chocolate chip!), so I guess I DO eat packaged foods and I would say that Tofutti is the Velveeta of the non-dairy "healthy" sect.

I've never tried on of those, are they really that good?

[AnnieW625]

I still think y'all made those peppermint JoJos up, I sent DH to the store like 4x looking for them in holiday seasons, no luck.

They were out of our store by the middle of December, if not sooner. Last year they were left until after New Years. I took it as a sign that the economy was much better this year than it was last. So maybe they were truly out.


I've never tried on of those, are they really that good?
Those are good, as are the chocolate sandwiches they sell at Trader Joe's. Best desert I had this holiday season was a vegan mint frozen cake thing a friend brought to a party. It was delish.

[amldaley]

I've never tried on of those, are they really that good?

They're good enough that I actually ate two...:bag

[arivecchi]

JoJos are not food. They are little cream filled wafers of goodness from Heaven. :hysterical:


I just ate a JoJo. :D Haha! I shall join you as soon as I get home. :tongue5: Maybe I will also have a Fig Newton. Delish.

[alien_host]

But seriously, who buys this stuff? Probably the same people that actually eat the 10-year old Christmas fruitcakes that get passed around.

Apparently a lot of people since they've been around for a LONG time. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fig_newton

I like Fig Newtons, but only if they are super fresh, as soon as they start getting stale they aren't as good. I had no idea they were named after Newton, Massachusetts which is a town nearby.

I don't however eat fruit cake ;)

[LexyLou]

I just ate a JoJo. :D


just A JoJo? I can't ever escape without eating at least 4-5. But I don't like the chocolate ones, vanilla all the way.

[goldenpig]

But seriously, who buys this stuff? Probably the same people that actually eat the 10-year old Christmas fruitcakes that get passed around.


Apparently a lot of people since they've been around for a LONG time. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fig_newton

Thanks--interesting stuff!
Originating in northern Asia Minor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asia_Minor), the fig roll was likely invented in its early form by the early Egyptians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egyptians), as a simple confection of preserved figs wrapped in a flour-based dough, which was then hand-rolled.
The fig bar is the company's third best-selling product, boasting sales of more than a billion bars a year. Wow, that's a lot!

Love this advertising section!
Advertising
In the 1939 animated Mickey Mouse short "Mickey's Surprise Party (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mickey%27s_Surprise_Party)", Mickey gives Minnie many Nabisco products, one of which is Fig Newtons. Mickey claims that they are his favorite.
In the 1950s, for Saturday morning television, advertisements featured a cowboy singing, "Yer darn tootin', I like Fig Newtons."
In the 1970s, Nabisco (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nabisco) ran an advertising campaign for the Fig Newton. The commercials featured actor James (Jimmy) Harder dressed like a fig. At the conclusion of the song, he struck the "Fig Newton Pose", leaning forward and balancing on his left foot, with arms spread and right leg raised behind him. :hysterical: WTH-I have to see this!
ETA: Here's a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klhLmoA2fks

When Grape Newtons were introduced in the wake of Cherry, Blueberry, and Apple (which came several years earlier), a chimpanzee (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimpanzee) appeared on the commercial, and the song "Yes, We Have No Bananas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes,_We_Have_No_Bananas)" played to the chimp's consternation.
American advertisements have most frequently featured a narrator (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrator) with a British accent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_accent) and other European themes, presenting the pastry as an elegant, sophisticated "adult" sweet that would appeal to the upper classes, rather than as a kiddie lunchbox snack. In the 1980s, Nabisco (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nabisco) again produced the popular advertising slogan "A cookie is just a cookie, but a Newton is fruit and cake."
In 2006, the brand's push was centered on the claim that a Fig Newton contained more fruit than a Nutri-Grain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutri-Grain) bar.
In 2007, they used the slogan "The cookie that thinks it's a fruit" to advertise Fig Newtons. The packaging of Newtons describes the product as "Fruit Chewy Cookies".

:ROTFLMAO:I think they are confused!



And wanted to add, if you've not tried Fig Newman's (as in, by Paul Newman) you are missing out. Like the difference between JoJo's and Oreo's. (Please select Low Fat, not Fat Free. And they do have a gluten free version as well. But I like Low Fat the best, and DDs love them!!)
OK--maybe I can be persuaded to try one of these and some JoJos, in the name of research!

[egoldber]

But seriously, who buys this stuff?

We do occasionally. :) My kids love them. :o I actually stopped buying them because they do have HFCS, but older DD does get them as a snack at after care. We occasionally buy Fig Newmanns but it's totally not the same as The Big. Fig. Newton. (One more time!)

[KrisM]

This is how I used to do it--melt butter in the cast iron skillet and toast both pieces with one Kraft cheese (or Horizon cheese for DD) slice on each side, then when nicely browned put the two halves together and microwave for 10-15 seconds to really melt the cheese. Sometimes I would add some ham too. Yum!

At least you can still eat cheese!...I have to be dairy-free right now and the fake vegan cheese is nasty. Even DD wouldn't eat it.

I hate to tell you - you're doing it all wrong (http://www.chow.com/food-news/55147/how-to-make-grilled-cheese-with-laura-werlin/)!

[MamaMolly]

That's what I thought until I had the peanut butter ones they had in the variety pack during this past holiday season. Wow! I would be in trouble if they sold non chocolate covered peanut joe joe's all year round! Those are way better than the peppermint joe joes.

Yes, those were nummy. And I HAD to eat them before we got home from the store. Yes, the entire packet of peanut butter ones. Because Lula has a life threatening peanut allergy and there is *no way* I was going to risk her having a reaction.

I HAD TO.

Yep, I'm just that good a mom. I'll jump on the peanutbutter JoJos grenade for my kid any day. (where is the back patting smiley???)

[m448]

I hate to tell you - you're doing it all wrong (http://www.chow.com/food-news/55147/how-to-make-grilled-cheese-with-laura-werlin/)!

LOL. Due to the increase in people around here I bypass the stove and butter the outside of a bunch of bread, put it on a baking sheet, grate a mess of cheddar on it then top it with more buttered bread and sick into a 350 oven until the the bread is golden toast and the cheese melted.

Mmmm, when we were kids we loved the ability to break a newton in half and reform it by smushing. A trick and a treat.

[citymama]

I hate to tell you - you're doing it all wrong (http://www.chow.com/food-news/55147/how-to-make-grilled-cheese-with-laura-werlin/)!

I will brag here about my grilled cheese but it pretty much rocks. I use EV olive oil (not butter), really good bread (olive bread from a local bakery is one our favorites) and monterey jack cheese, in a cast iron pan on high heat. Pressing down the sandwich is really key, and letting it get crusty and brown. I also make a "leftovers" grilled cheese with last night's chili, for eg. SOOOO good.

[kboyle]

Honestly I think outside of this board there are people who give their children Velveeta, peanuts, and Fritos and live an ordinary life, and to 98% of population out there would think you are a radical hippie. It's a zero topic of discussion unless it brought up by the person who makes the food. We don't have Velveeta in our house normally, but even though I visit the board regularly I am not the normal "everything must be home made, be organic, must not come from a box, and must always be perishable to be eaten at my home" kind of mom. Now I have gotten strict about limiting HFCS, and artificial sweeteners in the last couple of years, but am I going to simply refuse home made food or tell my children they can't eat home made food because the person who made has been known to use Velveeta or other supposed "non food" products? Nope, but then again I am not the normal BBB mom.

:yeahthat: for me too!

i am all about cooking from scratch and making homemade wholesome healthy meals for my family, but in NO WAY am i crazy about it. if i don't feel the need to cook i have NO PROBLEMS giving the boys kraft mac n cheese or *gasp* chef boyardee...heck! [B]I[B] love mcdonald's fries and such. i know quite a few moms whose children REFUSE to eat vegetables. i know a mom who's 8yo son ONLY EATS RAMEN NOODLES AND BALOGNA SANDWICHES. maybe it's the area in which i live, but i can say that even with my kraft and spaghetti o's i am probably the most healthy mother in these parts. i have a friend who is amazed my kids eat an apple a day...her kids refuse to touch fruit?!

WHO AM I TO JUDGE what people eat. i will worry about my own family's eating habits and if i know that my child will want something other than what is being served i will bring them their own food. hell, i ate 2 dunkin donuts for breakfast and had two packages of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls for a bedtime snack last night! oh the horror!

[scriptkitten]

I hate to tell you - you're doing it all wrong (http://www.chow.com/food-news/55147/how-to-make-grilled-cheese-with-laura-werlin/)!

great article on that website that relates to this thread :)

http://www.chow.com/food-news/70298/when-loved-ones-dont-eat-organic/

[goldenpig]

I hate to tell you - you're doing it all wrong (http://www.chow.com/food-news/55147/how-to-make-grilled-cheese-with-laura-werlin/)!

LOL...thanks for the tip! My grilled cheese looks the same as her end result though. I guess I just used a lot of butter in the pan and the microwave melted the cheese.

I'll try it out with the dairy-free shredded cheese instead of the slices, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope that it will measure up to the real thing.

[marie]

I love the turn this thread has taken! Thank you ladies!

:yeahthat:

On to recipes:

Vegan Brownies
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder (I like to use a really dark cocoa)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup water
1 cup oil (i prefer canola)
1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350. Oil a 9"x13" baking pan. Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Mix wet ingredients in another bowl, then add to dry. Stir until well blended. Pour into baking pan. Lick spoon and bowl without fear of salmonella. :tongue5: Bake for 30 minutes (longer if you want less gooey brownies).

The cakes I make are ones using vinegar and baking soda like Beth (i think it was) mentioned above.
Here's the one I use:
http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/double-chocolate-snack-cake/5d657eed-fca6-445d-acac-f25fda09ddf6

In my Betty Crocker cookbook there are Maple-Walnut, Pumpkin, and Oatmeal Molasses variations. Let me know if you want any of those and I'll PM you.

I have a pie crust recipe that uses oil if you are hankering for pie, too.

Also, have you tried Coconut Bliss "ice cream". It is to.die.for. If it had been around when I was dairy/soy/etc.-free for DD1, I wouldn't have lost a ton of weight! (if only i had that kind of motivation again. . .sigh)

RE: Fig cookies. My mom makes a Sicilian fig cookie every Christmas called Cucidati if anyone wants to try making homemade fig newton-y cookies. (Or is the mention of homemade getting back into controversy? :wink2:)

[MommyAllison]

real cheese=greasy and not at all creamy, just oily....actually like the Velveeta commercial of the 80s where they pour Velveeta over broccoli... what was the jingle?

I only remember the end of it -

It improves your tetrazzini
When the cookbook calls for cheddar
Make it with Velveeta it cooks better

[goldenpig]

LOL...thanks for the tip! My grilled cheese looks the same as her end result though. I guess I just used a lot of butter in the pan and the microwave melted the cheese.

I'll try it out with the dairy-free shredded cheese instead of the slices, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope that it will measure up to the real thing.

OK, I tried the grilled "cheese" sandwich tonight and it was actually pretty good! :thumbsup: Used Daiya vegan cheese shreds from Whole Foods:
http://www.daiyafoods.com/products/cheddar.asp
Much better than the vegan cheese slices. I used Earth Balance and sliced French bread. I still ended up having to microwave it to melt the cheese though. Dessert was Purely Decadent chocolate "ice cream" made from coconut milk. Ahh...just like the good old days! :boogie:

[goldenpig]

:yeahthat:

On to recipes:

Vegan Brownies
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder (I like to use a really dark cocoa)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup water
1 cup oil (i prefer canola)
1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350. Oil a 9"x13" baking pan. Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Mix wet ingredients in another bowl, then add to dry. Stir until well blended. Pour into baking pan. Lick spoon and bowl without fear of salmonella. :tongue5: Bake for 30 minutes (longer if you want less gooey brownies).

The cakes I make are ones using vinegar and baking soda like Beth (i think it was) mentioned above.
Here's the one I use:
http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/double-chocolate-snack-cake/5d657eed-fca6-445d-acac-f25fda09ddf6

In my Betty Crocker cookbook there are Maple-Walnut, Pumpkin, and Oatmeal Molasses variations. Let me know if you want any of those and I'll PM you.

I have a pie crust recipe that uses oil if you are hankering for pie, too.

Also, have you tried Coconut Bliss "ice cream". It is to.die.for. If it had been around when I was dairy/soy/etc.-free for DD1, I wouldn't have lost a ton of weight! (if only i had that kind of motivation again. . .sigh)


I had some Purely Decadent coconut ice cream tonight--chocolate brownie almond. :thumbsup:
Thanks for the recipe! I'll have to try the brownies! The cakes & pie might have to wait a while though...not good for the New Years' resolution ;)

[goldenpig]

Now that's a recipe I want...

Found it on DH's computer!

Dairy Free Lemon Cheesecake with Agave Glazed Berries
(based on madejustright.com, and Earth balance recipe)
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs (about 16 crackers)
3 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup earth balance buttery spread, melted
14 oz silken tofu
8 oz vegan cream cheese such as Tofutti “better than cream
cheese”, room temp
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tbsp cornstarch
2 tbsp warm water
juice and zest of 1 lemon
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups mixed strawberries, blueberries, raspberries
1/4 cup light agave nectar

1. Preheat oven to 350, spray 9” spring form pan with cooking spray.
2. Stir together graham cracker crumbs with sugar, cinnamon, salt. Stir in melted earth balance buttery spread.
3. Press crumb mix into pan with spoon for crust, bake 8-10min, remove and set aside.
4. Lower oven to 300. Place tofu, cream cheese and sugar in food processor. Process 3-4 min until smooth.
5. Mix cornstarch with warm water, add to tofu mixture. Add lemon juice, zest, and vanilla. Process 3-4 min until well mixed.
6. Pour cheesecake batter into pan, tap pan gently on countertop to remove any air bubbles. Bake one hour until cheesecake is set. Remove from oven, bring to room temp. Cover with foil or plastic wrap and refrigerate 3 hrs before serving.
7. Mix berries with agave and spoon over sliced cheesecake.
8. If top of cheesecake cracks, mix 1 cup vegan sour cream with 3 tbsps sugar and spread over top.

If anyone has more ideas for dairy-free recipes/products, feel free to post in this thread:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=385458
Thanks!

[boolady]

DH says muenster is stinky, no?

I don't think so-- it's quite mild and creamy. If you buy a block of it, the texture is not as dry as an aged cheddar, if that makes sense. You feel more resistance when you cut it with a knife. I have been eating it since I was a kid, and have never thought it was stinky at all. I bet some sliced Havarti would make a really good grilled cheese, too.

[amldaley]

I don't think so-- it's quite mild and creamy. If you buy a block of it, the texture is not as dry as an aged cheddar, if that makes sense. You feel more resistance when you cut it with a knife. I have been eating it since I was a kid, and have never thought it was stinky at all. I bet some sliced Havarti would make a really good grilled cheese, too.

Muenster is not stinky, it smells a little *cheesey* but not stinky. I always imagine it as a cross between swiss & havarti with a little mild cheddar thrown in.

[amldaley]

Found it on DH's computer!

Dairy Free Lemon Cheesecake with Agave Glazed Berries
(based on madejustright.com, and Earth balance recipe)
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs (about 16 crackers)
3 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup earth balance buttery spread, melted
14 oz silken tofu
8 oz vegan cream cheese such as Tofutti “better than cream
cheese”, room temp
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tbsp cornstarch
2 tbsp warm water
juice and zest of 1 lemon
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups mixed strawberries, blueberries, raspberries
1/4 cup light agave nectar

1. Preheat oven to 350, spray 9” spring form pan with cooking spray.
2. Stir together graham cracker crumbs with sugar, cinnamon, salt. Stir in melted earth balance buttery spread.
3. Press crumb mix into pan with spoon for crust, bake 8-10min, remove and set aside.
4. Lower oven to 300. Place tofu, cream cheese and sugar in food processor. Process 3-4 min until smooth.
5. Mix cornstarch with warm water, add to tofu mixture. Add lemon juice, zest, and vanilla. Process 3-4 min until well mixed.
6. Pour cheesecake batter into pan, tap pan gently on countertop to remove any air bubbles. Bake one hour until cheesecake is set. Remove from oven, bring to room temp. Cover with foil or plastic wrap and refrigerate 3 hrs before serving.
7. Mix berries with agave and spoon over sliced cheesecake.
8. If top of cheesecake cracks, mix 1 cup vegan sour cream with 3 tbsps sugar and spread over top.

If anyone has more ideas for dairy-free recipes/products, feel free to post in this thread:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=385458
Thanks!

Can the 1 cup granulated be successfully substituted with agave syrup or evaporated cane juice or other less refined "white" sugar?

[goldenpig]

Can the 1 cup granulated be successfully substituted with agave syrup or evaporated cane juice or other less refined "white" sugar?

I don't really know but I suspect you're better off substituting another powdered sugar over the syrups/juices.

Here's an article I found on baking with sugar substitutes:
http://allrecipes.com//HowTo/baking-with-sugar-and-sugar-substitutes/Detail.aspx

[Fairy]

I don't think so-- it's quite mild and creamy. If you buy a block of it, the texture is not as dry as an aged cheddar, if that makes sense. You feel more resistance when you cut it with a knife. I have been eating it since I was a kid, and have never thought it was stinky at all. I bet some sliced Havarti would make a really good grilled cheese, too.

Totally agree. Muenster, one of the only cheese I like, definitely not a stinky cheese.

[niccig]

Can the 1 cup granulated be successfully substituted with agave syrup or evaporated cane juice or other less refined "white" sugar?

In reading the recipe, the agave is just used with the berries. I think you could put berries and a little sugar in a saucepan and heat to make more of a berry compote and then spoon that over...

Thanks for the recipe..this sound very yummy

[goldenpig]

In reading the recipe, the agave is just used with the berries. I think you could put berries and a little sugar in a saucepan and heat to make more of a berry compote and then spoon that over...

Thanks for the recipe..this sound very yummy

:yeahthat:
The 1 c granulated sugar is for the cake and the agave syrup is for the fruit topping. I'm going to have to convince my husband to make it again!

[amldaley]

:yeahthat:
The 1 c granulated sugar is for the cake and the agave syrup is for the fruit topping. I'm going to have to convince my husband to make it again!

Except I am trying to sub. the other direction. We don't use refined white sugar at all. I normally sub agave syrup in place of sugar, but am finding in recipes that need to "set up" the substitution does not always work.

As for the berries in the sauce pan...I think everyone should try that at some point. I do a little butter or margarine, sautee a banana then add blackberries to it. I use that over the top of french toast.

Frozen berries heated up leach out their juice nicely and make a great topping for waffles!

Also amazing as an ice cream topper.

[citymama]

This thread has gone crazy loco! ;)

I thought this handy dandy "Is it Real Food? (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/darya-pino/is-it-real-food-flowchart_b_805406.html?ref=email_share)" flow chart was very timely and relevant to this discussion!

[daisymommy]

I liked that Citymama! In Pollan's Book "In defense of Food" he says to try to steer clear of food that is in packaging or makes health claims. Obviously some things must be in packages like milk. But you get the idea.

I always like looking around at the other topics on websites, and here was an...interesting one. Hold on to your lunch!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/04/mechanically-separated-meat-chicken-mcnugget-photo_n_749893.html

Now that most certainly is not a food! :tongue5:

[ehf]

I liked that Citymama! In Pollan's Book "In defense of Food" he says to try to steer clear of food that is in packaging or makes health claims. Obviously some things must be in packages like milk. But you get the idea.


I actually try to steer clear of milk, too! My extended family thinks I'm crazy, but it's so over processed in this country.

[daisymommy]

Not if you get real milk, from grass fed organic cows! (either lightly pasteurized, non-homogenized, or raw :)).

But yeah, I agree, if it can sit on a shelf without even being in the fridge...shudder.

[[email protected]]

When I was dairy free with DS1 for a year, I used to make a great chocolate cake off of the vegweb site. Yummo. People asked for the recipe all of the time.

Something like this
http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=6433.0
( I remember it had vinegar. Can't forget that part of it!). I think the vinegar plus baking soda was theoretically supposed to help it taste lighter. It was good. Use a vegan margarine for the frosting.

A vegan friend loves that Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World cookbook (did I butcher the title? Something like that).

Love vegan cupcakes take over the world. The basic chocolate cupcake recipe is amazing--I gave up dairy for 18 months with DD2. That book was a lifesaver

[JBaxter]

I actually try to steer clear of milk, too! My extended family thinks I'm crazy, but it's so over processed in this country.

We get ours from a local dairy along with the butter, half & half , icecream, yogurt and cheese

[KpbS]

When I was dairy free with DS1 for a year, I used to make a great chocolate cake off of the vegweb site. Yummo. People asked for the recipe all of the time.

Something like this
http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=6433.0
( I remember it had vinegar. Can't forget that part of it!). I think the vinegar plus baking soda was theoretically supposed to help it taste lighter. It was good. Use a vegan margarine for the frosting.

A vegan friend loves that Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World cookbook (did I butcher the title? Something like that).

I make a version of this cake (no eggs, no dairy) and add Ghiradelli chocolate chips and it is beyond yummy! Even the dairy eaters in my family rave about it.