WWYD Insisting on Rear-Facing in Someone Else's Car?

[bigpassport]

How do you insist on installing a RF seat in someone else's car when they don't believe in RF? DS has to ride in my friend's car frequently, so he has a seat that stays in her car. She doesn't believe in RF after 1 year. I need to get a bigger seat for DS, and she wants to make it FF. It's her car (Suburban) and installing a seat RF does take up more room. I want to be prepared with arguments before I discuss it with her. WWYD?

[Kaylee31]

I don't understand why she's insisting on FF. Why is she so against it? Isn't it common knowledge by now that's its safer? If it was her child, it would be her perogative to FF after 1 yr. But bottom line, it's your child, so it should be done your way. If she's a good friend she should understand that, and put your child's safety above her own beliefs. And if I can fit DS' carseat RF in my tiny Forester backseat, there has to be enough room in a Suburban. If she needs proof that it's safer, there is a ton of websites, articles, and videos devoted to the topic of extended RF.
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/StayRearFacing.aspx

[ett]

In addition to everything PP posted, I would also just tell her that your DS rear faces in your own car and would not be comfortable FF in her car.

[bigpassport]

Unfortunately, I don't think it is common knowledge. I have been asked by many people why DS is still RF. I think my friend objects to it because: (1) she thinks its unnecessary, and (2) installing the seat RF takes up more space so its harder for her kids to climb around.

I guess I just want moral support before going into battle.

[codex57]

She's got a suburban and she's worried about room?

If it's gonna be permanently installed, I can't imagine why she would care.

[DebbieJ]

If you need something to back you up, the AAP recommends RF for at least 2 years. http://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/30/4/12-a

[hillview]

"It's terrible the baby throws up if he is FF"
/hillary

[bubbaray]

She's got a suburban and she's worried about room?

If it's gonna be permanently installed, I can't imagine why she would care.


:yeahthat:

[karstmama]

if she's worried about her kiddos having to climb past, the seat could be installed in the center - right?

like if it was a van (with 1 slidey door), it could be on the way inside...very annoying for the adult, but since the kids are evidently the focus...

eh, just go with what hillary said.

[nov04]

Constantly switching FF to RF will cause DS to vomit all over her car???

[Green_Tea]

Would you allow her child (if her child is the same age as yours) to FF in your car? Is she being paid to transport your child for you? Ultimately, its her car so she makes the rules, just like you make the rules for your car. I think it's very silly for her to make a fuss about your kid RFing, but ultimately it's her perogative to do so, unless you are paying her to babysit or something, in which case I think you can insist in RFing.

Does she have lots of kids getting in and out of the car and RFing car seat permanently installed would make it hard to navigate?

I wish they'd pass some sort of LAW about RFing, so parents could stop having to argue about it!

[egoldber]

I can see where a premanently installed RF carseat could be an inconvenience to loading and unloading a lot of kids, especially if there is a carpool line involved.

[Ceepa]

Preparing to argue about a basic belief you have for your child's safety? Sounds like you should also start considering alternatives for your child's transportation. It seems your friend's frustration is building, too. Is there a part of her car that would be better placement for a larger RF seat?

[KrisM]

Would you allow her child (if her child is the same age as yours) to FF in your car? Is she being paid to transport your child for you? Ultimately, its her car so she makes the rules, just like you make the rules for your car. I think it's very silly for her to make a fuss about your kid RFing, but ultimately it's her perogative to do so, unless you are paying her to babysit or something, in which case I think you can insist in RFing.

Does she have lots of kids getting in and out of the car and RFing car seat permanently installed would make it hard to navigate?

I wish they'd pass some sort of LAW about RFing, so parents could stop having to argue about it!

Unfortunately, I agree with this. I would not have her drive my kid.

[bigpassport]

Thank you for all the suggestions. It's a strange issue to be having with her. She is very educated and normally is very concerned and diligent about health and safety. But she is also opinionated, so when she thinks she is right, she thinks she is right. I guess I just need to put on my big girl panties and put my foot down. I don't think it will come to having to find different babysitting/transportation arrangements.

[twowhat?]

"It's terrible the baby throws up if he is FF"
/hillary

:ROTFLMAO:
I agree with PPs though that you cannot force her, esp if she is doing you a favor by providing transportation, and you're not paying her to do so. I'd also be looking into other transportation options:( Sorry you have to deal with this!! It's why I'm glad that since we have twins we ARE the carpool:)

[edurnemk]

It's her car, and it might be inconvenient for her..... BUT, I say your decisions about your kid's SAFETY trump that. I would not let my DS ride FF in the friend's car, and if an agreement can't be reached, I'd find other transportation options.

[Wife_and_mommy]

Insist on installing yourself then proceed to install it RF after asking if there's a place that works best for her. I don't let anyone who isn't as picky as I am do seat installs for my kiddos.

I wouldn't allow someone to drive my 1yo FF and actually RF others' FF kiddos when they're in my car. :wink2:

ETA: In talking with her, I'd offer to email her info if she's interested in learning about extended RF instead of trying to defend your position. Your decision is not debatable. :)

[AnnieW625]

Unfortunately, I don't think it is common knowledge. I have been asked by many people why DS is still RF. I think my friend objects to it because: (1) she thinks its unnecessary, and (2) installing the seat RF takes up more space so its harder for her kids to climb around.

I guess I just want moral support before going into battle.

It's not common knowledge here, esp. in California. I can count the number of kids on one hand that I know of IRL who RF past 12 mos. and are still rear facing, four. Yep, four. Two are 18 mos. old, one is riding RFing in an Evenflo Triumph, and a Britax Marathon; the other rides FFIng in a Graco My Ride in a Mazda CX-9, and a RFing in a Graco MyRide in a BMW 3 sedan; I know a 14 mos. old who is riding RFing in a BLVD, and a Chicco Key Fit. DH's co worker rfed her daughter till past two. I have met a BBBer IRL and she is still RFing her 3/1/2 yr. old, and plans to do the same with her <than 2 son.

Honestly I had no clue either until I started frequenting this board 2 yrs. ago. We turned DD1 around at 12 mos. old too. . We now plan on RFing till at least 2, if not longer. I would like to see this change too, but it's not going to happen until the car seat manufacturers take off the "FFing from 20lbs, and 12 mos. old" off of the car seat boxes/websites (Britax is guilty of this too!), which were unfortunately most people get their information from.


Would you allow her child (if her child is the same age as yours) to FF in your car? Is she being paid to transport your child for you? Ultimately, its her car so she makes the rules, just like you make the rules for your car. I think it's very silly for her to make a fuss about your kid RFing, but ultimately it's her perogative to do so, unless you are paying her to babysit or something, in which case I think you can insist in RFing.

Does she have lots of kids getting in and out of the car and RFing car seat permanently installed would make it hard to navigate?

I wish they'd pass some sort of LAW about RFing, so parents could stop having to argue about it!

I also agree with this.

[kdeunc]

We were able to have DD RF in our Suburban and get kids in/out fine. There are definitely ways that it can be placed to be less of a problem. DD rode in the driver's side 2nd row (captains chairs) and in the center of the 2nd row (bench) seat. If it is a carpool issue your child should be able to be placed behind the driver and really not cause an issue I would think.

In my mind it doesn't matter if your friend "believes in RF past a year" you do and its your kid. Good luck! :)