At what age is it no longer appropriate to shower with kids?

[Sweetpea972]

My DC love showering with dad...DD is 6 and DS is 3...for some reason I'm beginning to wonder if DD might be getting too old for this....I'm not sure. Curious as to what your opinion is on this. Thanks!

[willow33]

DS2 is 5, almost 6 and I still shower with him. I don't shower with my 7, almost 8 year old DS though. He wouldn't want to anyway! I think it really just depends on the child, parent and the family.

[Corie]

I think it really just depends on the child, parent and the family.


My 9 year old daughter and 6 year old son still shower with me
on occasion.

My daughter would probably not shower with DH. I think she would
think it was "gross". Although, she does go in the bathroom while
he is showering and talk to him.

My son still showers with DH.

[g-mama]

I guess it really depends on your comfort level and your family.

I dress privately in my closet and close the bathroom door when I shower, and have since my oldest ds was about 4 or 5.

I've never showered with my sons and can't imagine doing so. Not a judgment, just demonstrating how greatly these things vary from one family to the next.

[SnuggleBuggles]

When either of you is uncomfortable. That will vary from household to household.

Beth

[JBaxter]

I think Nathan sort of because aware of his own body in his 5th year and stopped showering with me. He still at 7 will shower with DH.

[Melaine]

I think I will feel pretty comfortable showering with the girls indefinitely, until they decide they don't want to. On the other hand, DH would never in 100 years do so, not even when they were babies. He also has never taken them into a public bathroom.

[egoldber]

Older DD and I showered together occasionally until she was 7ish. She learned to take showers by herself at 8. Now, at 9.5, she does not even like me to be in the room when she showers. But oddly, she has no issues being in the room when I or DH is showering. She started becoming modest about her body around 8.

DH would not have showered with our DDs ever. He is just not comfortable with that.

[Raidra]

Whenever the parent or child feels uncomfortable, that's the time to stop.

Lately, I've been bringing Fiona in the shower with me to wash her hair, and a few days ago while I was showering (by myself) Colwyn and Lachlann ran into the bathroom, completely naked, and insisted on jumping into the shower with me. It didn't bother me at all, but I was a little surprised that they didn't mind.

I just asked my husband that he would feel a little uncomfortable showering with any of them, but would if it was necessary for some reason.

The boys do shower on their own normally.. I think they got jealous of the fun Fiona has.. I let her spray me with the shower attachment and I really ham it up for her, so she won't mind getting her hair washed. :)

[bandgsmama]

i agree with beth, whenever it seems to be uncomfortable.
my ds is 5 & dd is 3 1/2 & we all still shower together. they think nothing of it at this point.

[giavila]

My dd stopped showering with him when she turned 6. We were still fine with it, but dh thought maybe other people might think it was weird if she mentioned it at school so we stopped. She showers by herself now, but every once in a while I'l have her jump in with me and we both don't mind at all. We are pretty open around here though, they see me shower all the time (they'll walk in and ask me a question) and dh also leaves the door open so the kids are in and out of there too..

[cvanbrunt]

My DDs still shower with DH. The oldest is 5 but we will stop when she starts kindergarten in the fall. We fear if she ever mentions it we will get a visit from a social worker or CPS.

[JElaineB]

I've never showered with DS who is 8, but just this weekend he came in while I was taking a shower and ripped open the curtain to talk to me. I told him to shut it. He comes in all the time to talk to me while I'm getting dressed though, and that doesn't bother me.

[almostmom]

My kids have showered by themselves for a couple of years now. But in the last 6 months I'd say I try not to be naked in from of DS. Mostly because when I am (say when he peeks in the shower to ask me a question) I notice his eyes can't move away from my, well, parts. He doesn't realize it, but I do! He also has told me, in a nice way, that seeing a naked part of me is gross, or kissing someone not in his family (like a girl) is really gross, so I think he is starting to be aware of this kind of thing.

That said, DH would still shower or bathe with DS, as well as DD, for now (she just turned 5). It's rare though.

The bigger thing in our house is that DH still sleeps naked (I, sniff sniff, gave it up mostly), and at some point he may need to change that!

[sewarsh]

Well, when my 4.5 year old said to my DH about 3 months ago...."Daddy, I like your penis", he knew it was time... :)

[boolady]

When either of you is uncomfortable. That will vary from household to household.

Beth

:yeahthat:

[brittone2]

I'm in the whenever one of the parties becomes uncomfortable. DS1 started wanting more privacy at age 5, but he doesn't seem to be bothered by walking in on me, etc.

He started wanting to dress/undress in private at age 5 though. He doesn't seem bothered by getting a bath with DD or DS2 on occasion and would shower with DH. I don't think he'd want me to shower with him but he has no problem walking in while I'm going to the bathroom or showering.

Emerging modesty I guess.

[smilequeen]

I wonder the same thing r.e. my 6 year old. He only showers with DH these days, but I have never been shy about getting out of the shower and getting dressed with a constant audience. I kind of assume he'll stop interupting my showers when he's uncomfortable.

[LMPC]

When either of you is uncomfortable. That will vary from household to household.


Yeah, this is what I think. I remember taking showers at least until around age 10 with my grandma and my mom (LOL -- different times...wow, that would be one crowded shower!), and nothing seemed weird about it. FWIW, that side of the family is very European in their attitudes towards nudity.

[LMPC]

Well, when my 4.5 year old said to my DH about 3 months ago...."Daddy, I like your penis", he knew it was time... :)
:hysterical:

[Twoboos]

We never showered with our kids at all. Is that weird? I just seemed like a PITA and I always liked the 4 minutes alone. :)

ETA: Well, not really always ALONE, half the time they're in there talking to me. But I have my personal space for those 4mins, LOL.

[cvanbrunt]

I always liked the 4 minutes alone. :)

You take a 4 minute shower? Holy carp you are efficient. I linger in there as long as humanly possible for my alone time.

[JoyNChrist]

DH and I were just talking about this. DS1 (3.5) still bathes or showers with me or DH frequently. I think we'll stop around 5 or 6 - just seems right to me.

Interestingly, DH said he wouldn't be comfortable showering with DD after she was 1 or so. I thought that was kind of an odd double standard, but whatever.

[Twoboos]

You take a 4 minute shower? Holy carp you are efficient. I linger in there as long as humanly possible for my alone time.

Well, I sometimes have to when some little people are out there harassing me. :) Oh, and I only wash my hair every 2nd or 3rd day.... that saves time.

But I like longer showers, too.

[essnce629]

I'm another one who agrees with whenever either person is uncomfortable. With DS1 I took showers with him all the time till he was 5 1/2 since it was so convenient. At that point I was pregnant with DS2 and I was just too big to fit in there with him comfortably any more! I haven't taken a shower with him since DS2 was born because it's just me at home in the evenings with the kids so there'd be no one to watch DS2 while we were in the shower. I've only taken one shower with DS2 so far and he just cried the whole time! DBF hasn't taken a shower with DS1 in a really long time, not because he's uncomfortable about it but just because he showers as soon as he gets up in the morning and DS1 showers or takes baths at night. DS1 is 7 and still sees both of us naked and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. I took showers with my mom up until I was 10 years old.

[vludmilla]

I am also in the camp of whenever either person is getting uncomfortable. DD is 4 and a few months and she still likes to occasionally take a shower with DH or I. I don't have a problem with it and she doesn't so I think that is all that matters.

[ha98ed14]

I linger in there as long as humanly possible for my alone time.

:yeahthat:

I don't even let DD in the bathroom when I am showering. It's my time to myself. I would prefer to get dressed by myself, but that rarely happens. DH would never let DD shower with him or even see him fully naked. No shirt is fine, but always with shorts on. It's just the way we are. We both bathe her now, but I anticipate when she gets to be about 5/6, DH is going to ask me to do it exclusively. Obviously we are more conservative than OP, so I share this to, as a PP said, show that there are lots of different ways to be. I think it's an "every family is different/ do what works for your family" kind of decision.

[DrSally]

When either of you is uncomfortable. That will vary from household to household.

Beth

:yeahthat:

[zag95]

Interesting topic! I have had baths with DD since she was transitioned from the baby bathtub (around 7 mos- she is almost 3). We still do occasionally- although she likes to have the bathtub to herself- more room to stretch out! I have also done showers with her after pool time or on vacations- DH has never done baths; has done showers with swimsuit on.....

I guess it's a comfort thing!

[wellyes]

We don't do it regularly but it's handy when we're in a hurry if we can't wait for the bathtub to fill due to super messiness. I think DH is starting to get uncomfortable with DD who is almost 3.

[kijip]

When the child (or the parent) doesn't want to. Usually between 4 and 7 for most kids.

[pinkmomagain]

[QUOTE=Twoboos;2994252]We never showered with our kids at all. Is that weird? I just seemed like a PITA and I always liked the 4 minutes alone. :)
[QUOTE]

I've never showered with any of my kids and it just never occurred to me to do so. Not for modesty but my showers are sacred alone time for me...besides I take mine super, duper hot.

[gatorsmom]

I feel uncomfortable showering with my kids. Some of it is my own personal modesty, some is because I hate sharing the shower with anyone! I always end up cold somehow....

DH, otoh, showers with the boys all the time. The twins still like playing in their bath together, so they've never really been with dad. I think DH would feel a little funny around DD, though. She'll point to his penis and start talking about it and he turns bright red and becomes tongue-tied. funniest thing I ever saw.....

[tylersmama]

Well, considering that I've been a single mom since DS was just over a year old, "privacy" is pretty much nonexistent in my house. DS is 4.5 and we shower together fairly regularly. It's just easier than giving him a bath at another time! He's had an occasional question about my body, but really, he just loves playing in the shower and mostly ignores me to play with the squeegee I use to clean the water off the shower door. I figure that at some point in the next few years, he'll naturally just start wanting some privacy. Until then, I'm all about the convenience!

[lilycat88]

I never thought of showering WITH DD. We're not all that modest when dressing or anything. I think it's just because I wouldn't fit in the shower with all of the barbies and assorted toys that have found the way to our shower!

[AngelaS]

When they say things like "Your bum looks like you're growing a baby in it." or "you have a squishy belly, Mommy." it's time for them to bathe alone.

[TwinFoxes]

Our girls are too young to take showers (at least they don't like to yet). But...




DH would not have showered with our DDs ever. He is just not comfortable with that.

...this. When the girls were much smaller, and afraid of the bathtub, DH thought if he took a bath with them they'd like it better. So he got into the bathtub with them...in his bathing suit. I said what the heck are you doing? But it's how he was comfortable. :shrug:

[Corie]

well, when my 4.5 year old said to my dh about 3 months ago...."daddy, i like your penis", he knew it was time... :)


hysterical!!!! Lol!

[Corie]

You take a 4 minute shower? Holy carp you are efficient. I linger in there as long as humanly possible for my alone time.


That's exactly what I was thinking!!! I've never taken a 4 min. shower!!!
It takes me 4 minutes just to get a good lather on my hair. :)

[egoldber]

Our master shower is pretty big, so for a long time it was just easier for me to shower with DD than make the time to give her a bath separately.

I grew up in a house with 6 people and one bathroom. I think I am completely incapable of taking a shower that lasts longer than 4 minutes. ;)

[lalasmama]

We stopped communal bathing/showering when DD started asking more "why" questions-- why my adult parts looks different from her kid parts-- and she started trying to touch parts.... This was at 3.5yo.

With my DNeice, 8.5yo, I wouldn't give it a second thought showering with her, as I have done since the day she moved in with me as a toddler. However, she's always been a shower diva--if she's not under the shower head, she is whining about being "freezing"-- so the communal showers didn't last too long after she got vocal!

Every once in a while--at the pool or when camping--we use family bathrooms/showers, and get showers in a "production line" fashion.

Oh yeah, we are a girl-only home, so no thoughts about having to figure out opposite-gender showering.

[maestramommy]

DS2 is 5, almost 6 and I still shower with him. I don't shower with my 7, almost 8 year old DS though. He wouldn't want to anyway! I think it really just depends on the child, parent and the family.
:yeahthat: Traditionally don't Japanese families bathe together. I mean, they're not sitting there in their bathing suits.

We don't shower with our kids, but Dora still needs help and she's over 5. Dh usually is in charge of her. He WON'T shower in front of the kids, in fact no one's seen him naked since Dora was 14 months. But that's just him. I sometimes end up with an audience when I'm in the shower. What can you do?