Not Feeling Attached?

[AshleyAnn]

As most of you probably know I'm in the first trimester of a very unplanned pregnancy. Its been 2 weeks since I found out and I feel no attachement to the baby or pregnancy like I did with DD. My pregnancy symptoms are nearly all gone and its sad to say but sometimes DH and I even forget I'm pregnant. I keep wondering if I miscarried or something because I just don't feel it. I had a doctors appointment but it got canceled due to weather. I'm struggling to give up the no-no's of pregnancy like caffine and OTC pain reliever (tylonol does nothing for me) and a part of me feels very 'meh' about it with DD I happliy gave them up while TTC.

Anyone got any advice???

[kdeunc]

I just wanted to say I am sorry that you are struggling with this pregnancy. I don't recall how far along you are but the symptoms going away could just be timing. As far as miscarriage possibility I will say that with the pregnancy I lost (at 7 weeks) I sort of felt a sense of detachment in that I had a "bad feeling" about the pregnancy.

I hope that everything is alright with you. If it were me I would try and reschedule the dr. appt as soon as I could.

[tmahanes]

Don't have any advice but just want to :hugs:

Sent from my Ally using Tapatalk

[AnnieW625]

I was almost completely detached from the pregnancy that we lost to trisomy 18. I mean I was happy I was pregnant, but I knew there was something wrong from the very begining because I was sick a lot more (I know that means nothing though), and in the back of my head something didn't feel right. With DD2 I did feel a little detached too, but honestly a lot of that was just nerves because I was afraid that the baby could have another chromosome disorder. It got easier once I passed 13 weeks and got the clear for that, and then easier again at 19 weeks, but yeah part of me spent my pregnancy very nervous. Good luck, and lots of :grouphug:

[MacMacMoo]

For how far along you are I think your okay. I was like that with my second. every so often we'd go "We're pregnant" not the sing song one you have with the first but the "oh duh I forgot." After surviving the morning sickness i had a hard time time ever getting time to dote and dwell on my growing belly.

[citymama]

Big hugs to you. If it helps, in all honesty, I didn't really get attached with the second pregnancy the way I did with the first - and very little attachment until almost the third trimester. This was a baby we planned and hoped for at the time I was pregnant, so it kind of freaked me out. Subsequent pregnancies are just different, as is being a mom a second (and I'm sure third) time around. Not worse, just not the same as the first time!

[WolfpackMom]

I dont think this is abnormal at all in an unexpected pregnancy. :hug:

[hillview]

I was pretty ambivalent about my second pregnancy. After the birth I was VERY attached. I wouldn't worry!!
/hillary

[Edensmum]

It can be normal, the second time around you are much more focused on the outside world. You are not changing your role, you are already a mom, and you are busy with your first child. Especially if it's unplanned and you weren't focused on getting pregnant ahead.

That said, tell your OB, tell them if you feel something is not right. Your instincts are important and likely right on.


Warning, personal loss story below. Read only if you want to, I share details. I hope that things turn out well for you.







I miscarried at 14 weeks. I went to the dr and said, I just felt like this was not right. I had no bleeding or cramping, my sickness has disappeared and I just felt off. They did and ultrasound and found that they baby was gone. He had stopped growing at 12 weeks. I started to bleed when I would have been due for my period. It was very like labor and very painful. If you have the choice go with the d&c. I don't recommend medical intervention lightly, I did labor naturally and can handle pain, but I would not do this again.

[Kitten007]

I just wanted to send you a super big hug. :hug: Sorry you are struggling and may things get better.

[Melaine]

I hope you feel better soon. I hope you can get in to the doctor ASAP and maybe that will help you feel better about everything.

[MoJo]

First, I'm glad to hear from you. I was just thinking about you yesterday when I was off line.

I was FAR less attached at the beginning of my second pregnancy, and it was planned/hoped for/successful. #1 was a lifelong dream coming true, a whole new world to think about, etc. #2, frankly, was a challenge. It was a hard pregnancy and much harder being pregnant while caring for a toddler.

I became more attached to #2 about half way through. . . by which I mean I went from being even less attached to her than #1 at the beginning, to feeling a lot more attached to her than I was to #1 at the same stage. . . a feeling that continues to this day. Being able to feel the baby moving inside of me made a big difference, and I could feel #2 a lot more than #1 due to the position of the placenta.

I echo the others who said reschedule your appointment as soon as possible. (And I know a lot of things have been closed down and they may not have even been open yet)

You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Big hugs to you. If it helps, in all honesty, I didn't really get attached with the second pregnancy the way I did with the first - and very little attachment until almost the third trimester. This was a baby we planned and hoped for at the time I was pregnant, so it kind of freaked me out. Subsequent pregnancies are just different, as is being a mom a second (and I'm sure third) time around. Not worse, just not the same as the first time!

:yeahthat:

we planned to get pg again, yet my feelings towards this pregnancy are just SO different. as PP said, with the 2nd one you are just so busy taking care of the first kid you barely have energy left to focus on growing belly, etc. i feel kicks all the time and while with my first i would be like "oooh, i felt a kick!!so cool!! oh there's another kick, yay!!" with the second it's more like "oh yeah, she's kicking" thought in the back of my mind while i'm scrambling to feed DS lunch or to sort laundry. it's not as novel the 2nd time around, plus there just isn't time/energy to focus on the pregnancy like in the first. i'm sure it's also harder if the pregnancy is unplanned.

like citymama i didn't really start feeling attached until well into 2nd half of pregnancy, when i knew the gender and was starting to buy stuff for my baby, choose a name, and plus ihad gotten over the morning sickness.

[RunnerDuck]

I'm almost 27 weeks and not feeling very attached to this one. I just told my mom it's bizarre, when I feel movement I still expect it to be followed by a fart. I'm a little concerned, but not very, as partly I think it's not being able to focus on the pregnancy 100% like with my first... I didn't feel as attached with my girls for various reasons (the pregnancy was a nightmare) but I bonded fine with them after birth. Hopefully once he's here all will be well.

eta - this was a hoped for baby. A surprise, since we didn't think it would happen without fertility treatments - but we were going to do fertility again after this - I actually had my consult the day I concieved! So I should be over the moon, but I feel kind of ... detached.

[veronica]

I'm much further along than you, and for a whole slew of reasons, am also having attachment issues. Ours was planned and hoped for too.

What I have learned , when reaching out for advice like you, is that our feelings are ok. So many people share in similar experiences and it's ok to feel how you do. There is plenty of time to become attached.