View Full Version : DS told me he was sad!

01-21-2011, 04:15 PM
We have working a lot on emotions with DS. He can name six emotions, and identify the corresponding facial expressions. We talk about what triggers each emotion and what we can do when we feel these things. We use this book: http://www.amazon.com/My-Book-Full-Feelings-Emotions/dp/1931282838/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1295640336&sr=1-1

DS understands all that, but in a rote sort of way. He has not been able to connect this information to his own internal state. So, he will always tell me that he is happy, no matter what evidence there is to the contrary. He can be sobbing hysterically and still insist that he feels happy.

Yesterday, DS had some poor behavior at school and came home with a bad report from his teacher. When we talked about it, he got very upset and cried for a long time. I was holding him and trying to calm him when all of a sudden DS said to me, "Mommy, I feel sad" and he sounded a little surprised. I was stunned.

We talked about how he was sad becuase of the choices he had made at school. And that this had made his teacher sad too. And that making better choices can make him happy. Then we talked about how everyone gets sad sometimes. We pulled out his book of feelings and talked about things that make us sad.

I feel disappointed that he made poor behavior choices at school, but WOW what a silver lining.

01-21-2011, 04:20 PM
Never thought I'd use this smiley given the title of your post, but :cheerleader1:

That's great that he's getting in touch with his feelings more. :hug:

01-21-2011, 04:21 PM
That sounds like such a break through. :) I bet you really had to hold back telling him you were happy because he was sad! ;)

01-21-2011, 05:53 PM
That's wonderful that he was able to understand that! Hopefully that understanding will mean less sadness for him in the future.

01-21-2011, 05:59 PM
Great work mama!!

01-21-2011, 06:02 PM
That sounds like such a break through. :) I bet you really had to hold back telling him you were happy because he was sad! ;)

I did. I wanted to tell him that I was proud of him, but since we were talking about his poor choices that would have been too confusing for him.

01-21-2011, 06:04 PM
That must feel kindof bittersweet -- happy to have made a breakthrough, but sad that he is sad. Hugs to you!

01-22-2011, 10:14 AM

So happy for you!

01-22-2011, 12:47 PM
:cheerleader1: That is huge! I hope you see him adding more emotions soon. :hug:

01-27-2011, 12:39 PM
That is wonderful! :applause: We are going to work on this with DS2. Right now when you ask if he is happy/sad he just repeats what you said. Best wishes on continued progress!

01-27-2011, 12:47 PM
That's amazing Gena! Congrats! :cheerleader1:

01-27-2011, 01:58 PM
Thanks, everyone!

DS is continuing to tell me when he is sad and when he is happy and even moves his mood meter magnet (http://www.bestimpressions.com/magmoodmet.html)to the appropriate square.

He seems to be starting to realize that he has other emotions than just these two. He just can't recognize and name them yet. A couple of days a go he got angry and told me "I think I might be injured." He wasn't injured; he just didn't know how to describe what was wrong. So he is continuing to make progress, but I can see that this will be a long, slow road.

It's fitting that I learned a new vocabulary word today (found while looking up something else):

Alexithymia: a state of deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions.

01-27-2011, 02:56 PM
:bighand:That's fabulous!

01-27-2011, 03:09 PM
Gena, I've just teared up for you. I'm so happy for his sadness! I realy am just so very joyous for you. This huge. However small the steps are, this is a biggie. :grouphug:

01-27-2011, 03:40 PM
What a wonderful surprise that must have been in what would have otherwise been a sad moment for you. :) Congrats to you and your DS!