dhano923
01-25-2011, 12:30 PM
Let me preface this by saying DH and I have been going to counseling for a few weeks. One of our issues is how we communicate with each other. One of my issues with DH is that he doesn't tell me things unless I ask (he doesn't just come out and tell me stuff) and that he has no concept of time. He runs on his own little clock and time schedule, and everyone else is just supposed to deal with it. It's very annoying, especially when we need to be somewhere at a certain time or something needs to be done by a deadline. He's supposed to be working on his communication skills and be more aware of how his actions (or lack of action) affect others. I'm supposed to not assume he will be "Old DH" and not do what he says, and to take things at face value instead of assuming the worst.
That being said... DH had a business dinner last night. He left at 5:45 because it was about 40 minutes away with a 6:30 reservation. I was supposed to get groceries after work, but then when he said the dinner was still on (they had talked about postponing), I had to go pick up the kids from after-school care and come home with them. He texted me around 7pm to say "Be home by 9:30-10". OK good -- I'll have time to go to Target and pick up some groceries and some other stuff I need because Target closes at 11pm. At 9:30, I went and freshened up, put my boots on, and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally at 10:25, I texted him to say "It's 10:25- you were supposed to have been home 1/2 hour ago!". He replies back "Leaving now". He didn't get home until 11:10! Then he walks in, says "I'm home" when he sees me watching TV, and I just said "oh how nice of you to come home an hour and a half after you said you would." He just said "sorry, I lost track of time" and goes into the office. 20 minutes later, he heads upstairs to go to bed. That's literally all the interaction he had with me -- didn't talk to me about anything else.
I ended up leaving him a note on his computer telling him how annoyed I was. That he volunteered to be home at 9:30-10 and that it was his responsibility to let me know he wasn't going to follow through. I ended it with "Work was good today. I'm OK. Kids went to bed at 8:30. We had pasta for dinner. Oh, and great communication skills!"
This morning, he told me he has a doctor's appt this afternoon. I just said OK. He knows I'm upset, and I know he saw the note. Did he acknowledge it? Nope. Then he says "we're out of milk." I curtly said "we're out of bread too. I was supposed to go to Target last night but you didn't feel it was neccessary to come home when you said you would." All he said was "you were pissy when I got home last night." I just said "Oh, I'm sorry, was I supposed to pretend that everything was OK, and that I had no problem with you being 1.5 hours late and not even giving me the courtesy of a text or a call to let me know? I'm supposed to take what you say at face value, which I did, but you didn't hold up your end of the bargain." He just rolled his eyes at me and went to put his shoes on so he could take the kids to school.
I'm still annoyed. I want his lightbulb to go off and make him say "ohhhh, OK, yeah I messed up. Let me try to fix it." Instead, he does the dumb deer-in-the-headlights thing and acts like he has no idea why I'm upset.:banghead:
That being said... DH had a business dinner last night. He left at 5:45 because it was about 40 minutes away with a 6:30 reservation. I was supposed to get groceries after work, but then when he said the dinner was still on (they had talked about postponing), I had to go pick up the kids from after-school care and come home with them. He texted me around 7pm to say "Be home by 9:30-10". OK good -- I'll have time to go to Target and pick up some groceries and some other stuff I need because Target closes at 11pm. At 9:30, I went and freshened up, put my boots on, and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally at 10:25, I texted him to say "It's 10:25- you were supposed to have been home 1/2 hour ago!". He replies back "Leaving now". He didn't get home until 11:10! Then he walks in, says "I'm home" when he sees me watching TV, and I just said "oh how nice of you to come home an hour and a half after you said you would." He just said "sorry, I lost track of time" and goes into the office. 20 minutes later, he heads upstairs to go to bed. That's literally all the interaction he had with me -- didn't talk to me about anything else.
I ended up leaving him a note on his computer telling him how annoyed I was. That he volunteered to be home at 9:30-10 and that it was his responsibility to let me know he wasn't going to follow through. I ended it with "Work was good today. I'm OK. Kids went to bed at 8:30. We had pasta for dinner. Oh, and great communication skills!"
This morning, he told me he has a doctor's appt this afternoon. I just said OK. He knows I'm upset, and I know he saw the note. Did he acknowledge it? Nope. Then he says "we're out of milk." I curtly said "we're out of bread too. I was supposed to go to Target last night but you didn't feel it was neccessary to come home when you said you would." All he said was "you were pissy when I got home last night." I just said "Oh, I'm sorry, was I supposed to pretend that everything was OK, and that I had no problem with you being 1.5 hours late and not even giving me the courtesy of a text or a call to let me know? I'm supposed to take what you say at face value, which I did, but you didn't hold up your end of the bargain." He just rolled his eyes at me and went to put his shoes on so he could take the kids to school.
I'm still annoyed. I want his lightbulb to go off and make him say "ohhhh, OK, yeah I messed up. Let me try to fix it." Instead, he does the dumb deer-in-the-headlights thing and acts like he has no idea why I'm upset.:banghead: