How do you feel about kids in nicer restaurants?

[YouAreTheFocus]

My husband & I are driving up to wine country this weekend. We're trying to decide what restaurants to go to for dinner, and I'm on the fence about how nice of a restuarant we can take our 16 mo old to. Do you feel that white tablecloths = no kids (or that the kids should be above a certain age)? Do you think there are different "rules" when you are in a vacation area (at home, you could get a babysitter, when on vacation, you have to bring the kids to dinner!). Should I just call the prospective restaurants and ask how they feel about kids?

[smiles33]

I am especially sensitive to this issue so others may disagree. I don't like bringing our kids to any nice restaurants (e.g., business lunch crowd, formal dining, any non-chain upscale restaurant). DH doesn't care at all and would bring them into a restaurant full of adult business diners (more business casual but still).

All that is to say that I always call ahead when on vacation as some tourist areas do have high chairs and welcome kids.

[hillview]

We take our kids to pretty nice places although we tend to go to larger nice restaurants vs 10 table nice restaurants although we've done those too. We will remove our child from a restaurant IMMEDIATELY if they are not cooperating/being loud. So I vote for nice if you are prepared to evacuate if things don't go well (or take turns in the parking lot). If you are not prepared to walk away from dinner (before it arrives or just as it arrives) then I would go for less nice places.
/hillary

[SnuggleBuggles]

If you got an early (like 5-6pm) reservation then I see no problem with it, especially if you are prepared to take steps to ensure other diners have a good experience (stepping outside to calm a fussy baby, getting your meal wrapped up to go if you can't get peace...). We have taken our kids to nice restaurants without issue. I just try to keep them behaving like I would want other guest's kids to behave.

Beth

[Tinkerbell313]

I would call the restaurant to see how family friendly they are. However, only you know your child. We bring our children (now 4 and 6) to 4 and 5 star restuarants frequently and have been since their birth. Our children are well behaved and can sit for 2 hours. Of course, they each can bring one small (non-distracting) toy to occupy themselves as well as some coloring books.

You would be surprised at the number of nicer restaurants that actually welcome children.

With that said...I do investigate the restaurant thoroughly. If I feel it not appropriate (smaller, intimate restaurants, etc)...then I would look for an alternative.

[hillview]

Adding that agree with Beth to go earlier and also I prefer NOT Fri and Sat esp if I can't do earlier.
/hillary

[YouAreTheFocus]

Ok, thanks, I think we'll skip the small / quiet looking restaurant with upholstered armchairs & white tablecloths & $$$ entrees. Just thinking about it was making me nervous. I don't want to be so anxious about his behavior that I can't enjoy myself. (And I don't want to buy a 1 yr old a $35 entree!) Another place we were considering has some small plates, and has more of a bustling feel, plus I just called and they have 2 highchairs. I think this is a better fit!

[RunnerDuck]

We never bought food for our kids at that age so I wouldn't worry about buying a $35 plate for a 1yo. We shared off our own plates and brought a few extras, maybe ordering an appetizer when we wouldn't have normally, so we didn't look AS cheap, LOL. But with ONE very young kid, they're really not going to give you a hard time about sharing or bringing in a few small items for the child.

Most resturaunts have enough ambiant noise that a little noise from your child will be readily absorbed. Unless you have a child that is prone to serious tantrums, you'll probably be fine.

I have never taken my kids anywhere super fancy, but we go to nicer non-chain places and generally speaking don't have problems. I do have one girl who is becoming a tantrum pro - my son honestly never was a tantrum thrower - and DH will take her outside if the going gets rough. But with food to distract, if it's not so busy we are in there forever, it tends to go pretty smoothly.

[ehf]

We've taken DD to nicer restaurants many times--but always by 6:30, and always with the understanding that we would immediately leave if she became disruptive. So far, we've never had to--but we agree that we would.

I've had my meal disrupted by noisy, grating children, and I don't think it's fair to impose that on others.

Of course, I made the mistake of making a dinner date with a playgroup friend and her 18 month DD--her DD was noisier than I was comfortable with, but it wasn't my place to do anything, and I ended up feeling a little embarrassed. I might not try that again.

[sadie427]

Restaurants in a touristy area are more likely to be used to kids, and most places should be ok as long as you take your child out if they get fussy. Agree that bustling small-plates places will be better, though. If a nicer place has a happy hour (unless it's specifically in a bar area) sometimes that's great for kids. I'm not sure that calling will be helpful; I'm not sure you will get meaningful responses (some may just say yes to all business, for example.)

[crl]

We have taken our kids to nice restaurants. One of our strategies is to minimize wait time for food. So one of us will order for everyone while the other takes the kid for a walk. Person who stayed in the restaurant calls the other one on cell when the food arrives. Or order a bunch of appetizers as a meal so it all arrives quickly.

We have also left, immediately, when ds was getting fussy. One of us would walk out with him which the other got our food boxed up and paid. We have actually had wait staff tell us we did not need to go, but we just hate to risk ruining someone else's meal out.

Catherine

[artvandalay]

Our rule of thumb is if there are no pictures on the menu, it's probably not a good idea for us to take 3 kids there to eat.

We've of course broken this a bunch of times, and if we are traveling, anything goes. It's not a hard and fast rule. Also it depends how well behaved your kids are, if they can behave nicely, then I don't see why you couldn't do a nicer restaurant

[scriptkitten]

we live in a downtown area where there are not many chain restaurants.

therefore we take our kids to brunch and early dinners at nice restaurants. misbehavior not tolerated

[scriptkitten]

We have actually had wait staff tell us we did not need to go, but we just hate to risk ruining someone else's meal out.

Catherine

i don't tolerate a lot of misbehavior, but the way i feel (and felt BEFORE kids) is that if your meal is "ruined" because a child is having fun and being noisy 3 tables over, then you need to be medicated and its not my problem. if you want a completely controlled environment, stay home

if a baby is crying out of control, that can be stressful to EVERYONE and parents should do their best to make it stop (take baby for a walk, etc), but people need to remember that they were babies once as well.