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View Full Version : %&*#@ you DH and the school *Pre-K program teacher!



SammyeGail
02-07-2011, 03:14 PM
I have talked to the school several times about the boys starting, today was their first day. They are in the Pre-K program. I asked several times (each different person I talked to, so I would hear it from several sources) about the schools uniform policy and how it applies to Pre-K. Was told each time it doesn't apply to Pre-K, they are much more relaxed with what they wear, the policy isn't necessary until Kindergarten, etc. I had quickly explained to them we just re-located to the area, I actually have too much clothes for my kids already, lol, it was such a relief that they could wear what winter/spring wardrobe I already have. 'Oh, yes, they can wear what they have' they say.

Then DH drops off the last bit of paperwork Fri., and meets N's teacher. She says they *strongly suggest* the uniform code. :irked:. Well, I have some things that are very close. The code is navy, khaki pants (no cargo pockets) or blue jeans (only blue). Tops can be polo, tee, henley, etc. The colors say white, navy, the school colors are gold and a cobalt blue. I was also told for the school they are happy with any shade of blue or yellow, pastels, blue-greens, etc.

DH and I debate, then fight the entire weekend about this. He goes on and on about how he doesn't want them to stand out. I had some khaki's and a button down blue and white stripe shirt for N to wear and dark khaki's and ecru henley for J to wear.

I ended up spending $200 at LandsEnd, plus the $30 for 1 day shipping. I like LE fine, but N is barely growing in to a 5T, I had to get the 5/6 tops for him (next size smaller was 4) J is in a 6, but has a long torso so I ordered the 7 for him. Also, LE tops fit them both terrible. They are both skinny. I know LE tops run wide. These tops are going to hang off of them and hit their lower hips. But DH is happy :banghead:. I guess its better they go by 'strongly suggested' dress code and they look sloppy than give me time to find things that fit them. Of course I only get cobalt blue and gold tops, some khaki pants on sale.

We show up at school today and are asked to wait on one of the teachers. I watch what kids coming in are wearing. I see chocolate brown pants. I see PURPLE pants and a purple skirt on 2 different girls. Numerous *dress code* violations. I have to point each and every one out to DH. He's like 'ok, ok, maybe they don't enforce it very much'. These were regular school kids. Then we go thru the Pre-K hall, kids have on graphic tees, any and all shades of blue and yellow. Even pants! One girl had on a blue and green striped shirt with the turquoise matchings knit pants.

So while I had to go to Target and get tops last night, wash and dry them, find l/s shirts here that matched them ok to wear underneath, DH was screwing off on the internet.

What was so bad is that we argued all weekend about this. $230 gone to Landsend and their tops don't even fit my boys well. Whats the worst is that when DH argued with me he really talked down to me, that hurts so much. Our relationship has gotten so much better and then he has to get an attitude about the school uniforms for Pre-K, all anal about the first day. He was just cruel to me about it. Jeez.

AnnieW625
02-07-2011, 03:32 PM
Oh my goodness, :hug: to you. I can't even imagine going through what you are going through. You can return uniform to Lands End, right? If so you can return it directly to Sears, and it sucks that you are out the $30 in overnight shipping, but at least you know next year where not to get stuff. I sort of see DH's point as I bet had you done the opposite everyone would've been in uniform and your kids wouldn't have been and since you are new it's better to error on the side of caution. Make DH cook dinner tonight, or do lunches all week. Best of luck, and glad you are somewhat settled in your new place.

SammyeGail
02-07-2011, 05:47 PM
Well, on the bright side, the LE tops will fit N ok enough when he grows into them. I understand a school dress code, but I'm still having trouble *accepting* it. Being told any shade of blue and yellow is fine made me feel better. DH said it had to be gold or cobalt blue. Just because one teacher he met said so. I probably have enough clothes bought up to put them thru Kindergarten, lol. I don't like the idea of kids wearing anything obnoxious to school, I agree with that, but I will miss the cute Mini-Boden outfits, kwim? Plus I wish they could show a little personality. A girl had on a blue above knee dress, super crazy tights and hot pink boots, it was cute, but did stand out compared to everyone else.

Our stuff from the house will be here in 2 weeks, :yay: including my sewing machine. I hope I can do some homemade tailoring on the LE shirts. Take in the sides some. Glad I have some sewing experience. Wish I had a serger, my sister raided my mom's stuff right after she passed away, so she got everything. Have no idea what my sister will do with a serger, she only makes quilts, but she is the one who would raid everything.

The teachers said they both had a great 1st day and the boys both said they liked it too, so thats what matters. :thumbsup:

I was/am mainly upset at how DH treated me this weekend. He said he has to enforce rules and regulations at work all the time, he has to force employees to comply each and every day. Thats fine DH, its for their safety and federal & state guildlines, but I'm your wife, not an employee. DH treating me worse because I'm arguing (debating) with him. Even after I ordered the stuff from LE that will be here Tue afternoon, he still was pitching a fit about what they would wear Mon. & Tue. Its not like they would have been sent home or have a mark on their permanent record. I finally settled down when I realized I would be dressing them so DH would have no idea if DS wore his gray jeans on X day, kwim? DH went with for their 1st day this AM.

So they can wear blue or yellow shirts with graphics on them for Pre-K. Can't wait to send them in these:


http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq217/sammyegail/mini%20boden%20summer%2011/219.jpg http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq217/sammyegail/mini%20boden%20summer%2011/1972.jpg http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq217/sammyegail/mini%20boden%20summer%2011/184.jpg

hobie
02-07-2011, 06:37 PM
Super cute t's!

KDsMommy
02-07-2011, 07:10 PM
i LOVE those t's!

I'm about to enroll DS in a Montessori pre-k through 8th grade and they are super strict about uniforms. Even the pants/shorts all have to come from the uniform company. I'm not thrilled about having to buy a school wardrobe when he already has enough clothes for 3 kids.

Hopefully you can return some of the LE stuff to Sears, I'd definitely check that out.

gatorsmom
02-07-2011, 07:36 PM
Those shirts are DARLING!

I find that when my DH starts to be THAT stubborn and rude to me about something, then HE can take it over. If he is that insistent, then he can go the extra mile. That playing on the internet shi+ while you do the work would NOT GO OVER WELL.

He's a grown man. If he needs to be forceful about the rules at work, great. But he knows the difference between work and home so that cop-out wouldn't fly with me. Next time, he can do the leg work while YOU play on the internet.

squimp
02-07-2011, 10:19 PM
Do they have a uniform exchange? We would find like new LE skirts for $1 there. Send DH to find them. Then you could return the LE stuff you just bought.

DrSally
02-07-2011, 10:22 PM
Love those graphic t's! I would just return the LE stuff to Sears.

SammyeGail
02-08-2011, 02:13 PM
Those shirts are DARLING!

I find that when my DH starts to be THAT stubborn and rude to me about something, then HE can take it over. If he is that insistent, then he can go the extra mile. That playing on the internet shi+ while you do the work would NOT GO OVER WELL.

He's a grown man. If he needs to be forceful about the rules at work, great. But he knows the difference between work and home so that cop-out wouldn't fly with me. Next time, he can do the leg work while YOU play on the internet.

Thanks! We had a really rough time for a while and he was so mean and rude to me all weekend. We still didn't really talk last night. He's still snappy, so I'm snappy right back at him. He needs to calm down. I was very relaxed about the whole thing at first, he was so augmentative. He kept & kept talking down to me. As you said, that did not go over well.

He expects me to just get over it I think. Maybe he should apologize for the way he acted. It was beyond horrible.

I had DS's clothes laid out last night. I had the Boden shirt with the big yellow fish on it with a l/s yellow tee to wear under it. I showed it to DH and said 'N is going to wear this tomorrow, what do you think?' He said 'Oh thats cute'.

He's on the internet looking at houses for sale here. We just relocated a month ago. Our house has to sell first. We just signed a 7 month lease on a townhouse. STOP looking at houses for sale every night DH! Its pointless!

MamaMolly
02-08-2011, 10:42 PM
Samantha, Samantha, Samantha. You know I love you. So please read this with an open heart and mind.

It sounds to me like you and DH are BOTH under extreme stress. Extreme. And you are falling into some old, bad habits in regards to communication and blame. Please, please, please don't let the stress of this move, which *is* going to be a wonderful thing for your family, push you guys backwards.

You have come SO FAR in getting back on track with DH. Call a truce. Wave the white flag. Remind him you need your husband and friend, as he needs his wife and friend. We both know he's not going to do it first, so I think you are going to have to go first. It takes courage, and I know you have it in you.

Huge, huge, huge hugs. Again, said with love.

And OMG those shirts are so freakin' cute!!!!!!!!!

gatorsmom
02-08-2011, 11:31 PM
He's still snappy, so I'm snappy right back at him. He needs to calm down.

He expects me to just get over it I think. Maybe he should apologize for the way he acted. It was beyond horrible.



I was sick in bed this weekend and DH was cooped up in the house with the kids for 2 straight days. It nearly sent him over the edge. He was beyond rude to me yesterday (who says "eff you! to their spouse???). I decided not to talk to him until he apologized. I deserve better and I have no time for that kind of treatment. He often thinks i should just get over it and will calm down and start talking to me like nothing ever happened. I don't answer. Occasionally I'll say, "you owe me an apology. No one should speak to their spouse that way," and then I go on doing what I'm doing. But that is all I say to him until he apologizes.

He doesn't speak to his employees or clients that way and I"m sure as he11 more important than them. He ended up apologizing profusely. rightly so.