First period party??

[fortato]

Has any one heard of a Red Tent Party???

I saw this on Regretsy, and wondered who was the genius that thought of it??

http://www.etsy.com/listing/64630408/the-classic-uterinata?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share

[fortato]

Really? No one has a comment about this? A Uterus shaped pinata????!!!

[Uno-Mom]

Heck yeah! This is giving me flashbacks to the female community I had in college. All those feminist literary theory and philosophy discussions... but I digress.

I was in process of responding earlier but DH and Sprog returned home and bedtime ensued. Just out of curiousity - how did you come across this? Oh, how I wish my family was such that would've thrown me a 1st period party. Alas. I also will suggest it to my friend & doula who teaches a childbirth class.

Not so sure about whacking it for candy, though. I'll have to think on that one. However, that is kinda what 24 hours of labor felt like!

[Uno-Mom]

Oh wait. I just read the text. Now I feel somewhat better about the whacking part.

[katydid1971]

I'm not opposed to it but it does seem weird to me. I don't think I would have wanted a red tent party when I got my first period. I would have been so embarrassed to have anyone talking about it. When I was a teen I wasn't as opened minded as I am now.

ETA: I think the Uterinata would be funny at a baby shower.

[Dream]

I haven't read the artical yet. But where I come from this happens. Its a celebration. Your daughters first period is a huge deal. You have auspicous things you do and invite all friends and family of the parents for a meal. You get lot of gifts, mostly gold jewelery. I don't remember whether it bothered me at the time. I believe these customs are fading away nowaydays.

[Gena]

Not a party, but when I got my first period my mother and I had a private celebration. She took me out for a special dinner and gave me an heirloom piece of jewlery. She told me that her own first period had been a time of shame and confusion and she wanted me to experience something different.

My Mom taught me some important lessons that day:

- That womanhood can be difficult and painful, but is still something wonderful to be celebrated.
- That something can be kept private without being shameful.
- That growing up involves many milestones and some are more fun than others.

Then she showed me how to make a hot toddy - her remedy for cramps (and many other things).

[Melaine]

Whenever I think about this, I get worried about the timing. Surely my twins will not get AF at the same time. I have vague memories of the last girl or 2 to get AF in my "circle" felt left-out and immature and kind of anxious (I don't think anyone made her feel that way, just she did). I hate for there to be that angst with two pre-teens in my house.

ETA: Not a fan of the Red Tent Party idea

[egoldber]

Gena, thank you for sharing that! What a wonderful thing to share with your mom. I have been thinking about this because older DD is definitely entering puberty and it would not suprise me if she had her first period within a year or so. (Mine was also early, at 10, and older DD is 9.5). I think it would be a wonderful to have a private mother-daughter celebration like that.

[MoJo]

I think I'm stealing that general idea, Gena! Thanks!

There's no way I would have wanted a party, but I remember feeling so alone. My mom thought she did a good job because I knew a little of what to expect. . . she was raised by her dad, and it was the 50's, so when it happened she was really scared she had hurt herself. She did better than she had, but my goal is to do better.

[RunnerDuck]

When I got my third period my mother told me some people have a celebration for it - I said "Oh god please no!!!" I couldn't imagine anything more mortifying. Very cultural, I'm sure... also probably very dependant on if you are a late or early or average bloomer. I was early-ish. Going on 11. I was so embarassed I didn't even tell anyone, I just used toilet paper as pads and threw my underwear away and my mother started to wonder where all my underwear was going, which is why she didn't know until period #3.

I'd like to go about it in such a way with my own girls that they are comfortable and not embarassed but I would think a private mom/daughter celebration would be nice - not something huge.

[Moneypenny]

My mom is also one who took me out to lunch, just us girls, to celebrate. She also gave me a little basket with some cute underwear (with instructions to wear my old undies when I had my period), chocolates, ibuprofen, a heating pad (for cramps), etc. I was kind of mortified at the time, but now I think it was very sweet, lol!

[Melaine]

Gena and Moneypenny, I think the way your mothers handled the situation was great! I am thinking I might do some kind of celebration at home for them and combine some of your ideas. As long as the twin thing doesn't kill the fun of it.

[DietCokeLover]

When I got my third period my mother told me some people have a celebration for it - I said "Oh god please no!!!" I couldn't imagine anything more mortifying. Very cultural, I'm sure... also probably very dependant on if you are a late or early or average bloomer. I was early-ish. Going on 11. I was so embarassed I didn't even tell anyone, I just used toilet paper as pads and threw my underwear away and my mother started to wonder where all my underwear was going, which is why she didn't know until period #3.

I'd like to go about it in such a way with my own girls that they are comfortable and not embarassed but I would think a private mom/daughter celebration would be nice - not something huge.

I could have written this. I kept mine hidden as well. Then, when my mother found out, she was so upset that I hadn't told her, that she had my dad come talk to me. I thought I would die right then and there. I will not let this happen to my daughter.

I've always thought about how on The Cosby Show, the mom had a special day with the daughter when her period started. I will probably do something similar.

[BabyBearsMom]

On Nip/Tuck when the daughter got her period early they had a Princess Menses party. I remember DH turning me to say, "Don't you ever do that with my child!" It was pretty horrifying the way it was depicted on the show. When I had mine, my mom took me out for a nice lunch and shopping to celebrate.

[BabbyO]

Ewww...this sort creeps me out, and I'm a pretty open person. I KNOW that as a kid I would have been mortified if my parents threw a party for my first period! I'm definitely more of the private celebration...or just acknowledgement person.

My mom was totally cool about the whole thing...and I understood what was happening. I wasn't really surprised despite starting fairly early (11 yo). I just appreciated her being supportive of my discomfort and being discreet about it. I wouldn't have wanted everyone knowing.

[AnnieW625]

I would have said NO WAY to a party that would've creeped me out beyond belief, however my mom, and even my paternal grandma (she was 60 at the time) were very open about their experiences, and I have always valued that. I got my first period when I was 12 and about to go on vacation to my grandparents for the first time without my parents (just me, and my little brother) so that's why I had a conversation about it with my grandma. I didn't get to go swimming the first day or two I was there, but other than that it wasn't that big of deal.

[MamaMolly]

The pinata gives me the willies, but I love the idea of a special mother-daughter thing. Gena and Moneypenny, I l:heartbeat:ve how your moms handled it.

[mikala]

Wowza. I think I read a Mothering article about parties like this once.

Found it:
http://mothering.com/health/first-moon-rising-the-making-of-a-menarche-ritual

I can see how it could be okay in some circles but I would have been totally and utterly mortified if someone had even mentioned a period party at that age.

[firemama]

Wow! Gena and moneypenny, you are both so lucky! Your moms handled it beautifully. I don't even remember how old I was and my mom doesn't either. It must have been pretty uneventful because I don't even remember if my mom talked to me about it. I wrote down both of your 'celebrations' and will save it for my DD's first period. They are such neat and thoughtful ideas! I want my DD to have a more meaningful experience.

[Twoboos]

OK, I am not on for a Red Tent Party. I would have died on the spot if my mom had had one for me.

But I think that Uterinata would be hilarious at a menopause party. Or even a hysterectomy party, if it were for the right person.

[nmosur]

Symbolically these parties were meant for society to know that the girl was ready for marriage - let the proposals roll in!

[newnana]

I'm totally having that uterinata for my menopause party.

My first was memorable. I was in the bathroom calling for my mom. My little brother came and asked what I needed. I told him I needed mom. Being the little brother he is, he continued to ask what he could do for me (ever so helpful, except he wouldn't do the one thing I asked- get mom). So mom finally realized something was amiss and headed my way. When she figured out what was up and went to get what I needed, little bro was still there wanting to know what was up. Mom explained. He still didn't leave.

So there I am still sitting in the bathroom with the door half ajar because to this day my mother has no idea what privacy is and my older brother walks by and asks what's up. And my little brother says non-chalantly, "nothing, sis is in heat" and walks off.

We lived on a farm. Mom had equated me to the cows and dogs.

I definitely did not want an f'ing party.

[fortato]

I can remember the Cosby Show episode where Rudy got her first period. I remember being HORRIFIED that her mother would make a big deal out of it and called it "Woman's Day!"

I cried my eyes out the day I got mine. I didn't want ANYONE to know.... I'm thankful to this day that my mom kept it on the down low when mine came.


Thank god I have sons. I am so glad I'm not going to have to go through it with them.

[Twoboos]

I remember when I first got my period. I woke up in a pool of blood and thought someone had tried to murder me in my sleep. After hyperventilating, I realized I had gotten my period which I had read about in the book my mom had given me.

Loads of fun - washing sheets on cold, off to the drug store for pads... oh yah, big womanly learning day. Laundry and shopping. It was my 12th birthday.

[brittone2]

I like the idea of a private mother/daughter celebration. Gena-your experience w/ your mom sounds perfect and what I would like to do with my DD one day.

I don't see us throwing a Red Tent party, but hey, in many ways I think that's potentially healthier than not talking about it at all with your DD.