Is there such a thing as too big to come out?

[Lupe]

Hi All,
I am 38 weeks and started to get worried that my boy is getting too big.
I have gained a lot of weight in the last 2 weeks (I went from 26 pounds to 33 pounds) and I am not retaining a lot of fluid. In fact my belly has gotten so big that my co-workers noticed a difference from last week to this one and all my pregnancy t-shirts that use to hit me at my hipbones now only make it to my belly button, while I have been wearing the same pants and bras since the start of my second trimester.
I was told he was 6,5 pounds at his 35 week ultrasound, and I know that may not be very accurate but if he is putting a lot of weight he is going to be huge (the doctor that did it us supposed to be very good at it and get it close to right almost every time). At this week's checkup I was told my cervix is completely closed, and that my OB will let me go until 41 weeks before thinking about induction, because he seems to be strong and healthy. So DH says not to worry about it and he is already bragging he is going to have a big boy.
I am afraid he will end up too big. I have pretty narrow hips and I really don't want a c-section. Anyone had a growth spur in the last 3 weeks or so? I thought you were not supposed to gain much weight in the last month. Will he get too big to get out?
Am I freaking out unnecessarily?

[Melanie]

Sure...but it's rare and I believe would have more to do with an anomaly in the woman's anatomy, rather than a baby just being too big. I would imagine the doctors would wish you think otherwise, though. ;)

I just read a story about a woman delivering a 13 lb baby!

ETA: You don't need to freak out, but that is pretty much normal for being a pregnant woman. ;) I think everything just seems much *bigger* than it really is. Don't worry! Get as much rest as you can, and soon your little one will be out to cuddle.

[brittone2]

Your hips are not a fixed thing. Your pelvis is in two halves, with the halves connected by lots of ligaments. Those ligaments stretch, and thanks to the hormone relaxin which is pumped out during pregnancy, they stretch a good bit. For that reason, you can't really know if you have "birthing hips" or not, iykwim? Your pelvis is not a fixed immovable part of your body.

33 lbs is not a ton of weight to gain in pregnancy and is well within normal.

I would personally not get yourself all psyched out that the baby will be too big. A lot is position of the baby (a small baby poorly positioned can be very challenging to get out vs. a larger but well positioned baby) for example. In all likelihood you are capable of birthing your little guy even if he's a bigger baby :hug:

My 9 pound DS2 was out in 2 pushes with no tearing. I'm short and smaller to average framed and don't have "wide" hips. You just can't predict it very easily. Our bodies can do some amazing things!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Not nearly as often as people make it out to be. I think the true rate of macromasia is 5%. Lots more c-sections are done for that reason than 5%. More often it is a case of baby being poorly positioned- like posterior. Or mom being in a crappy position(s) for labor and delivery. Moms who lay in bed and then push with their legs in stirrups are not using the advantage of gravity to lower the baby nor taking cues from her body to move around. Ds1 was posterior- back labor was a bear- if I stayed in bed it hurt like heck- if I got on all 4s it hurt much less *and* encouraged him to turn anterior- which he did!

No one can tell from the outside if baby will be a good fit. A fair trial of L&D with lots of different positions is the only way to know. There are things you can do ahead of time to encourage baby into a better position and totally worth doing! Check Spinning Babies' wbsite.

Ds2 was 9;bs 9oz and I am short and small framed. His birth was easy and uncomplicated.

Beth

[Lupe]

Thanks for all your words, I am going to try to not freak out.
I am not really concerned about 33 pounds, but the speed of the gain
recently, not sure what that means.
Baby has been head down for 3 weeks, but not dropped
He does move a lot even though he is completely cramped, he will let me know by kicking my ribs hard if he doesn't like the position I am in.
I was really hoping for a 7 pounder though. We will see....
Any tricks to go into labor?

[vonfirmath]

Shoulder dystocia -- worse than a baby being unable to drop is dropping and being unable to get out afterward.

If the baby is too big to drop, that will become evident and they will do a C-section (this happened to my sister. And is one reason I am very thankful for my induction. Our family does not make 7 pound babies)

But it is not solely due to babies' size. There are a lot of factors that come into play and no one can know for sure until it happens if your body can handle size/positioning/etc of this specific baby.

[AshleyAnn]

My 9 pound DS2 was out in 2 pushes with no tearing. I'm short and smaller to average framed and don't have "wide" hips. You just can't predict it very easily. Our bodies can do some amazing things!

:yeahthat:

My 5.5lb DD was out in three easy pushes but caused 2 tears and an episidomy in the opposite direction and severaly damaged my cervix and yet I do have nice wide 'birthing hips'. A lot it depends on labor positioning and following your body's insticts (not pushing because the nurse/doctor says "ok time to push" but because your body is screaming "PUSH!!!!!!")

[chottumommy]

:yeahthat:

My 5.5lb DD was out in three easy pushes but caused 2 tears and an episidomy in the opposite direction and severaly damaged my cervix and yet I do have nice wide 'birthing hips'. A lot it depends on labor positioning and following your body's insticts (not pushing because the nurse/doctor says "ok time to push" but because your body is screaming "PUSH!!!!!!")

I agree with this part. My body was screaming "PUSH" and the doctor was not scrubbed (since I had a relatively quick birth). I could not stop myself, it was almost like the baby slipped out. My sister's first baby was 8 lb+, no tears, second was 3 weeks early at 6lb+ with a huge tear. So big does not mean anything.

[brittone2]

Yeah, I'm not a fan of coached pushing for myself. With DS1 I put in my birthplan that I did not want coached pushing but when it came down to it my midwife went into crazy mode and somehow I had a nurse and DH pulling back my legs, midwife and nurse counting, etc. One of my only regrets about that labor and delivery, only because I think it would have been nicer to follow my own urges. I was so. sore. the next day, in my legs from them being held back, etc and I only pushed for 20 mins. I felt like I had competed in a marathon LOL. With DD and DS2 I followed my own urge and didn't push until I couldn't *not* push and it was a much better experience for me. I remember with DS2 going from "grunty" but not *pushing* to 2 big pushes and he was out. No check to see if I was "complete" etc. but that's very different from a typical hospital model. With DD and DS2 I never had that super sore leg thing going on, etc.

With DS1 I pushed semi reclined (again not really what I wanted but that's how it ended up), with DD I pushed in sidelying (great experience). DS2 was a waterbirth and I pushed while in the water kinda sitting up.

With DS1 I remember feeling more of the ring of fire (not unbearable) whereas with DD and DS2, they just slipped out basically.

[daisymommy]

The only thing I want to add is that squatting will open up your hips and birth canal even more, allowing for bigger babies to pass through. But the typical medical birth model will have you flat on your back, basically pushing against gravity, like a boulder up a hill and over a speed bump (your pelvic bones). It's for their convenience--not yours. You are so much better off upright or at the very least side lying. If your doctor even starts to mention during delivery that your baby might be too big, it's time squat or get upright!

Also, from about 36 weeks onward, and certainly 38+ weeks you will really notice your belly getting bigger. That's totally normal! Your baby is putting on extra weight to be healthy, and your muscles are relaxing more under the strain as well as to get ready for birth--so everything starts to hang out more :) That's when you know you're in the home stretch, not that he is too big.

[Katigre]

Have you considered that you might have more amniotic fluid vs. the baby being huge?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Before I went into labor with ds2 we all suspected he was going to be big. The u/s the day before I went into labor had him at 9lb 1oz and even without that we knew. So, during labor my awesome CNM came and sat on the side of the whirlpool bath I was in and discussed what a big baby could mean for the birth. She basically told me I needed to be flexible about birth position. If there was any sign of him getting stuck then she wanted me on all 4s (the Gaskin maneuver, named after the very famous midwife) so my pelvis would open really wide and she would be able to help get him out. It was so reassuring...so much better than gloom and doom. She felt very confident that she could handle that curve ball without trouble, she had done it before.

Beth

[Lupe]

Thanks for all the tips. I guess I will just have to wait and see.
They do offer a squatting bar in the hospital, they told me it was an option
if I don't get an epidural. I am not sure about that either, I am going to see how much pain tolerance I have. I thought initially that I will like to avoid it if possible, but I've been watching "One born every minute", and the epidural deliveries seem so much better.... (Does anyone watch that show?)
All I want is for the baby to be healthy, not to tear and to avoid a c-section if possible, but I guess you never know what you are going to get.
It is making me anxious!

[Lupe]

Have you considered that you might have more amniotic fluid vs. the baby being huge?
At the 35 week ultrasound they said the fluid levels were OK, not too much not too little. The doctor actually showed me where his butt and head and feet are this week (his feet press right again my ribs when I sit down), there isn't a lot of extra room in there, so dunno, but the doctor can tell he is bigger than last week. I just have to stop freaking out and roll with the punches I guess..

[SnuggleBuggles]

Thanks for all the tips. I guess I will just have to wait and see.
They do offer a squatting bar in the hospital, they told me it was an option
if I don't get an epidural. I am not sure about that either, I am going to see how much pain tolerance I have. I thought initially that I will like to avoid it if possible, but I've been watching "One born every minute", and the epidural deliveries seem so much better.... (Does anyone watch that show?)
All I want is for the baby to be healthy, not to tear and to avoid a c-section if possible, but I guess you never know what you are going to get.
It is making me anxious!

I haven't watched it b/c those birth shows tend to anger me (way too many unnecessary interventions, clueless families and other things that just raise my blood pressure :)). But, so often they are in more pain than necessary b/c they are strapped to the monitor the whole time (not necessary for a healthy baby and mom) and in bed...I'd have been miserable like that and wanted pain meds too.

But, I'm also a bit out there in that I wanted to experience the birth- good or hard. My mom was just raving about how with her epidural she got to sleep and, to me, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I want the birth to be something I worked my butt off for vs chilling, watching tv and texting which is what I saw on the last add for that show. I liken it to people who want to run marathons. It'd sure be a lot easier not to do that but the people who chose to run a marathon do it for the experience. I figured I could only give birth a few times in my life, if I was lucky, and wanted to do it up all the way. :) That's my reasoning but I know everyone else comes to different conclusions and has different goals. :)

Beth

[AnnieW625]

not to tear

Just want to say good luck, and not to be a downer, but I had a 6lb., 6oz., and a 6lb. 4 oz., babies (both girls) and I tore each time, and was very upright with DD2 too.

Also FWIW, my great great grandma who was all of 5' tall and super skinny had my 10lb great grandpa at home in 1887, she went on to have 6 or 7 more children, all of them at home.

Again best wishes!

[carolinamama]

I birthed my 11 lb 3 oz DS2. My midwife was awesome and had me moving around switching positions. I tore, but after healing I healed my better than I did after I tore with my 7lb 14oz DS1. If it were me, I'd just wait and see what happens. As others have said, you are supposed to grow at the end. Wishes for a healthy baby!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Tearing...go super, duper slow when the baby is crowning. Like don't push when baby is crowning and let baby slowly stretch things out vs pushing through that. Insist on warm, moist compresses to the perineum during the delivery. That helps a ton!! And say no to an episiotomy (keep someone on scissor watch if they don't agree)- cutting makes the laceration deeper and worse than most tears would be naturally.

Beth

[daisymommy]

Please read and educate yourself on epidurals and make an informed decision. It may make for an easier more painless delivery, but that isn't what it's all about in birth. It's about what is healthiest for your body and your baby.
I had one with DS and vowed never again. My next two births were fabulous and totally unmedicated. Painful yes, but wonderful.
This article is written by an M.D. and pregnancy and birth expert, on the risks of epidurals that most women are unaware of:
http://www.bellybeginnings.com/Handouts/HiddenRisksOfEpidurals.pdf

[daisymommy]

Tearing...go super, duper slow when the baby is crowning. Like don't push when baby is crowning and let baby slowly stretch things out vs pushing through that. Insist on warm, moist compresses to the perineum during the delivery. That helps a ton!! And say no to an episiotomy (keep someone on scissor watch if they don't agree)- cutting makes the laceration deeper and worse than most tears would be naturally.

Beth

:yeahthat: None of that hold your breath and push hard to the count of 10 whenever they say stuff. It's bad for your blood pressure which in turn cuts off some oxygen to the baby as well. That earned me a tear two times. With my last baby, no one said a word. Just sat there calmly while I slowly pushed when I felt like it, and waited to catch the baby. At one point his head was 1/4 of the way out, and I just sat there for a minute, then his head was 1/2 the way out--looking at people! while I let my body stretch open more, then more small pushes and he glided right out. My midwife used warm compresses too. Not a single tear that time.

[ohsara430]

Definitely talk to your dr. about your concerns. I was very concerned DD was going to be big baby so we did a growth ultrasound at 40wks 3days and I completely freaked out afterward. They estimated her at 9lb 10oz and I was so scared, I was crying, just generally a mess. My dr. was great about reassuring me that the baby wasn't a monster and that generally women are not given a baby that is "too big" for them to deliver. I went into labor that night, probably from the stress :) I had a rough labor and delivery because of how long it was (she was transverse) but my dr. was a patient man and DD turned all on her own and I delivered her vaginally with a small 2nd degree tear. My nurses were great about perineum massage and helping me go slow to deliver her and she was a healthy 9lb 3oz. It will all be fine, best wishes for a happy & healthy mom & baby.

[fedoragirl]

I just wanted to add that I thought exactly like you, OP, as in, no c/s, no medication, etc. I fought induction till almost 42 weeks because I wanted a natural birth. It has all the advantages and I wanted the best for my first born. Well, long story short--I was induced, went into labor for 12 hours, baby was facing up head down, and ultimately, I had to have c/s. DD was 9lbs 10 oz. I was SO disappointed about the c/s and cried all the way to the OR but now that I look back, it wasn't so bad. I was just hung up on my ideal birth plan and it didn't work out. We also found out after the c/s that baby would have a shoulder dytocia if it wasn't for the c/s.
I wasn't ready to let go of that till months later. I am now at peace with what happened, and have learned to just go with it. My recovery from the c/s was fantastic.
I would not choose a c/s again but if it were to happen, I won't be as close minded as my first one. I feel like I focused so much on the negative aspect of that delivery that I couldn't rejoice at having a wonderful, healthy daughter in my arms. So, just an FYI to let things go if you have to.

[indigo99]

I ended up with a c-section because DS's head was just too big. I think that might be more of an issue than just the weight of the baby (8lb 15oz). I had an induction that went fine up until about 8cm. Then I stalled out and took forever to get to ten. He just wasn't moving down any further, and my pushing didn't do much to help. I did have an epidural so I was trying to push on my back, but I'm not sure how much that mattered.

I agree with PP that you really need to just wrap your mind around accepting however your birth goes. During the c-section, the doctor said that the cord was wrapped around DS's neck so it was maybe best that he didn't want to come out vaginally anyway. I was still very upset and depressed about having to have the c-section for weeks though. With my next delivery, I think I'll just plan a c-section from the beginning so that I can deal with it and know what to expect. All in all, it wasn't THAT bad, but I had it built up in my mind as something that I definitely didn't want so it was pretty horrible when that's what I got.

[Smillow]

I just wanted to add that I thought exactly like you, OP, as in, no c/s, no medication, etc. I fought induction till almost 42 weeks because I wanted a natural birth. It has all the advantages and I wanted the best for my first born. Well, long story short--I was induced, went into labor for 12 hours, baby was facing up head down, and ultimately, I had to have c/s. DD was 9lbs 10 oz. I was SO disappointed about the c/s and cried all the way to the OR but now that I look back, it wasn't so bad. I was just hung up on my ideal birth plan and it didn't work out. We also found out after the c/s that baby would have a shoulder dytocia if it wasn't for the c/s.
I wasn't ready to let go of that till months later. I am now at peace with what happened, and have learned to just go with it. My recovery from the c/s was fantastic.
I would not choose a c/s again but if it were to happen, I won't be as close minded as my first one. I feel like I focused so much on the negative aspect of that delivery that I couldn't rejoice at having a wonderful, healthy daughter in my arms. So, just an FYI to let things go if you have to.

This sounds like almost exactly what happened to me - I'm sorry you had to go through the same thing. I have really been hard on myself for allowing the induction, but the Dr. had a hard time delivering my son's shoulders anyway (she said she never had such trouble delivering shoulders with a c/s before). Good advice!:grouphug:

[Lupe]

Went to the doctor today. No signs of labor at all. His heart rate is good and he keeps kicking and moving, he just seems to be happy to stay put and keep on adding weight. She said it is not too big yet, but definitely not small (what does that mean?). She thinks it will be at least a week or 2 (????) more since he has not dropped and my cervix shows no signs of anything, I will be 39 weeks friday. I am going to (try) stay open minded and not think about it anymore, since I may be headed to an induction.

Thanks for all the advice, the anticipation is killing me

[edurnemk]

She thinks it will be at least a week or 2 (????) more since he has not dropped and my cervix shows no signs of anything, I will be 39 weeks friday. I am going to (try) stay open minded and not think about it anymore, since I may be headed to an induction.

Thanks for all the advice, the anticipation is killing me

My OB said the same thing at my last appointment before DS was born, then he said I could come in 2 weeks instead of 1 because he was pretty sure nothing would happen before 2 weeks. Well, I never made it my next appointment. Oh and he didn't drop. So don't stress too much about an induction.

[lowrioh]

I had an ultrasound at 32 weeks and at that point the OB told me I was having a huge baby....so I started to freak out a little.
I had another US at 36 weeks and the baby was measuring at the 50th%.
I ended up giving birth at 40.5 weeks and DD2 was 9 lbs 9 oz. I had no tearing at all and only pushed for around 20 minutes.
I did have an epidural and I am a big fan of them :)

Don't worry about it too much. If you end up needing a c/s it isn't the end of the world...the most important thing is that mom and baby are healthy

[Lupe]

I
I ended up giving birth at 40.5 weeks and DD2 was 9 lbs 9 oz.

I am actually scared is going to be 9 pounds or above. I was hoping for 7-8 pounds. I was born at 6.5.
In any case, as you said what matters most is that we are both healthy!

[AnnieW625]

Went to the doctor today. No signs of labor at all. His heart rate is good and he keeps kicking and moving, he just seems to be happy to stay put and keep on adding weight. She said it is not too big yet, but definitely not small (what does that mean?). She thinks it will be at least a week or 2 (????) more since he has not dropped and my cervix shows no signs of anything, I will be 39 weeks friday. I am going to (try) stay open minded and not think about it anymore, since I may be headed to an induction.

Thanks for all the advice, the anticipation is killing me

You haven't dropped yet, and you are 39 weeks? I dropped with both of my girls at 35 weeks. I had DD1 at 37 w 6 d, and DD2 at 38 w 6 d . DD1 I was 3/1/2 to 4 cm dialated for over a week before I had her. With DD2 I wasn't dialated, went in for my 38 week appt., and the internal exam did enough to strip my membranes and I had her less than 24 hrs. later. So I think you might be delivering post 40 weeks too. Induction is painful (at least it was for me w/DD1; but I have met moms who have done it and it's been no big deal) and after DD1 it was something I did not want to repeat.

Just remember a due date is just an estimate, but I hear you I was very ansy with DD1 and thought the Braxton Hicks were the real thing and was 5+cm dialated so thought if they broke my water it would speed things up; it didn't and alas the induction and DD1 being born at 37 weeks, when I most likely could've made it to 38 or 39 weeks before delivering.

[theriviera]

You haven't dropped yet, and you are 39 weeks?

FWIW, I don't think I had even dropped at 41 weeks when my contractions started.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I am actually scared is going to be 9 pounds or above. I was hoping for 7-8 pounds. I was born at 6.5.
In any case, as you said what matters most is that we are both healthy!

But, big babies are nice and sturdy usually. :) They aren't all floppy. They are better at regulating their body temp.. Sometimes, not always, they just seem more ready to be on the outside. There is no guarantee that a small baby will be an easier delivery. Position of baby and position of mom- those are the things to fixate on and things you have control over.

Beth

[SnuggleBuggles]

FWIW, I don't think I had even dropped at 41 weeks when my contractions started.

I didn't drop with either baby. Ds1 was posterior so that probably had something to do with it. Only pushed for 30 minutes- he came down and out easily when he was well positioned and it was time. Ds2 didn't drop ahead of time but that's normal for 2nd babies. I wouldn't get worried about droppping before labor.

Beth

[edurnemk]

There is no guarantee that a small baby will be an easier delivery. Position of baby and position of mom- those are the things to fixate on and things you have control over.

Beth

Tell me about it, DS was 6 lb 13 oz and I had to push for almost 2 hours, he was in posterior position.

[Edensmum]

It has a lot more to do with position of mom and baby than size. Your baby isn't too big, but could be large and in a bad position for delivery, which can complicate delivery. Moving around, not pushing on your back are helpful. Check out the spinning babies website for help in getting babe in a good position. Small babies can be malpositioned, and so can large ones. Large ones can slide out easily. Try not to get hung up on size and psych yourself out, just trust your body and your baby and ask for help.
Chiropractors are a good idea too.

[brittone2]

The day before DS1 was born all of the old ladies in the grocery store felt compelled to tell me I "had a long way to go" yet because I hadn't dropped yet. It didn't mean anything.

I don't really remember visibly dropping with my other two kids all that much either.

For me, it meant nothing, and similarly cervical checks meant nothing either. With DS1 I walked around for weeks 2-3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I wanted to avoid cervical checks with DD but caved at my 40 week visit (they were bugging me to let them check). I was barely 1cm and went into labor the next day. I never had a cervical check with DS2 other than when my midwife arrived and I was in active labor...she did a single check at that point.

Dropping is not always a clear cut thing. No need to worry.

[Katigre]

ITA with Brittone2. I do not have any dilation/effacement prior to labor (probably why my labors are so long, ha!). The day I went into labor with each child, the baby was still high and I felt *great* (and was convinced I still had a few weeks to go...little did I know what was coming in the middle of the night ;)).

I want to highly recommend this website: www.spinningbabies.com There is a section on positioning in pregnancy, and another section for labor techniques. Bookmark it to check at the hospital if you seem to be having positioning issues (can be seen in irregular contractions, slow labor, and cervix not dilating properly - ex. 4 cm but very posterior and thick). This happened to me in both pregnancies and spinningbabies.com made all the difference with DD's birth. With DS I ended up on pitocin and other interventions b/c of his malposition, but with DD we had that website and used techniques from there which got her head down correctly and she was born a few hours later.

[lowrioh]

[QUOTE=SnuggleBuggles;3040765]But, big babies are nice and sturdy usually. :) They aren't all floppy. They are better at regulating their body temp.. Sometimes, not always, they just seem more ready to be on the outside. There is no guarantee that a small baby will be an easier delivery. Position of baby and position of mom- those are the things to fixate on and things you have control over.

Beth[/QUOTE

I'm not sure that this is related to size but DD2 has been a much better sleeper than DD1 was. She also had a better latch from the get go. The downside was that the newborn clothing lasted about a week. :)

[JBaxter]

my "little" baby ( 8lbs) was actually harder to deliver than my "big" baby ( 10lbs) Remember fat squishes nicely. But like the pp said bigger babies are sturdier and do keep their temp better

[Lupe]

Thanks for all the advice! I checked out the spinningbabies website
DS is heads down and to the left, he has been like that for a while,
so I guess that is good position! So it may not matter if he is a big baby
At this point I just have to wait and see..

I have been going for my walks and doing squats and little weights, but stopped my pilates sessions around 37-38 weeks, going in tomorrow maybe it will help him move along...
I will be 39 weeks tomorrow, one more week to due date!
I am supposedly starting my maternity leave on monday but I am thinking to postpone the leave so I can get more time once he is born, since
he may not come yet. I think everyone at work is afraid I am going to go into labor there, my belly really looks huge compared to my frame!!