Sometimes I feel like a wimp.

[Carrots]

I have backed off from confrontation 3 times recently because I wasn't confident enough to "get into it" with the 3 different people. It makes me feel like a doormat.

Just needed to get that out.

[TwinFoxes]

Well, sometimes letting things go is for the best. Not everything needs to be made into a big deal, especially if the other person seems to be escalating the situation well beyond what's called for. Some people are nuts. So don't feel too badly. :)

But if it's a continuing issue, maybe there are assertiveness tips, or books that can help? Because sometimes you do have to be assertive, especially as a parent. Good luck! :)

[gatorsmom]

Having kids made me confident. I gained a little more confidence with each one. And it wasn't something I sought to do. It just happened more and more as they got older. I felt compelled to speak up when other kids were hitting mine and their parents did nothing. There are other examples too, of when I just felt the need to speak up. Now I think, I'm probably a little too assertive. :o

If you are aware of something and you want to change it, you can do it little by little. And TwinFoxes is right- sometimes letting things go is for the best. I have to remind myself of that occasionally.

[MamaMolly]

There is no shame to be had in picking your battles. I'm learning to do the same. :grouphug: sorry you feel like a door mat, though. Don't be anyone's punching bag.

[bigpassport]

There is a difference between not having the confidence and not having the desire to exert the energy to engage in a dispute. I rarely confront because its just not worth the energy to me. If it is indeed lack of confidence, you could resolve to speak your mind the next time something comes up just to try it out. In other words, just practice.

[Carrots]

One of the situations was so stupid and not worth me voicing my opinion, so I don't know why it is bothering me (Someone "cut" me in line at the pharmacy. Really.... I am 35 years old, not 10. This should be a non-issue.)


The main thing that is bothering me is a situation regarding a neighbor who I am on a playground committee with. We did a fundraiser where we gave away a big flat screen TV. A local electronics store let us buy the TV at cost. Another committee member was in charge of TV details, but the weeked we drew the winner's name, she wasn't available to drop the check off. In fact, I was the only committee member who had time to drop the check off. When the store gave me the final price, it was more than I was expecting, but I didn't question it, and wrote the check out. I should have questioned it..... I really wish I did.

The neighbor committee member is pissed at me for just giving over the check without questioning ad he keeps shoving my mistake down my throat and saying things like: If he had gone, he never would have given the store the check.

So, I am irritated that I didn't question the store and that I didn't tell the neighbor to DROP IT. He said this several times at our last board meeting i front of all the other members, so I was embarrassed.


:shake:

[TwinFoxes]

The first one, annoying but the type of thing that's not worth dwelling on to me.

The second I would have spoken up, or called another board member to confirm the price if I was unsure. I'm assuming it was more than a few dollars difference. Which for a community organization can be a big deal. There may be a way to fix it, but it will take confidence. I would call the person the original deal was struck with and ask for the difference. Say there was a mistake, and "we were charged more, we are a community organization and I'm sure you understand this is significant for our budget."

I hope it all works out.

[smiles33]

The neighbor is an ass. If he is so concerned he should call the store and ask for refund based on the promised price. Or the original committee member eho negotiated it should call and nicely clarify/ask about the discrepancy.

FWIW, I would have also felt awkward challenging the store when I am not the person who negotiated the discount price. I don't think it is a wimpy thing as it would be a different matter if you had negotiated the discount but then didn't challenge it when you showed up and they charged a higher price. Don't let the neighbor bully you anymore. If he brings it up again, tell him he should have picked it up himself then.

[kdeunc]

Don't let the neighbor bully you anymore. If he brings it up again, tell him he should have picked it up himself then.
:yeahthat: I am like you and typically avoid confrontation but I have to agree that the neighbor is being an ass and I would let him have it if the subject gets brought up again! It is not your fault that you were overcharged. The older I get the more likely I am to tell people if they have a problem with the way I am doing something feel free to do it themselves!