I want another baby :(

[Staraglimmer]

I want another baby. We can't afford to have one. DH isn't ready. I didn't want my kids to be super far apart. :(. I'm just sad :(. I really, really, really want another baby now. This has been going on for about 8 months now. I just can't seem to shake the feeling :(.

[JMS]

I'm sorry for you sadness. I hope things find a way of working out to make your heart and family happy. :hug:

[smiles33]

:hug: I know the feeling. I felt like I pushed DH so hard for DD2 (he wanted to wait until DD1 was 5!). I know he still is a little resentful that I pushed him into DD2 earlier than he was comfortable with (he cracks passive-aggressive jokes now and then). Part of me wishes I hadn't pushed so hard, but part of me is surprised we waited as long as we did (I was ready for DD2 when DD1 wasn't even 1).

Anyhow, all that is to say that there are no easy answers. Your brain may be saying one thing, but your heart longs for a baby. There's no arguing logic with your heart.

[liz]

:hug: I am sorry. I hope you find a way to make both you and DH happy.

[mom2khj]

I know the feeling. I was there for a long time. Now, I have DS and even though there are 5 years between him and DD2, I'm OK with that.

BTW, I have a Hailey Michelle also! ;)

[momm]

Oh I am sorry.

I have a five month old and I know I will be in your position soon enough. I already know I want one like right away and DH doesn't

:22::22:

[Melaine]

It's so hard, isn't it? I have been dealing with this for a long time. I really want another but we can afford it and DH isn't on board.:hug: I just keep praying that God will give me peace with our family as it is until it is time for it to grow. Still, I struggle with this issue on a daily basis.

[hellokitty]

Give him some time to come around. I had the same problem. I wanted a third and my DH was not on board at all. Finally when DS2 was closer to 3 yrs old and not such a handful, my DH came around. He did say that he wanted DS2 and baby #3 to be at least 4 yrs apart, so we waited until DS2 was older. The age gap has been much nicer than DS1 and DS2 being 18 mo apart, which was so much work. So, what I'm saying is that just b/c your DH is not on board now, it doesn't mean that it will always be like that. Give him some space and bring the topic back up in another 6 mo. He may surprise you.

[citymama]

I'm so sorry. :hug:
If your main concern is the age gap, don't let it get you down. My 2 girls are 4 yrs apart (intentionally planned that way) and I really like the age gap. My sibs and I are 4 yrs apart too and we are very close. My mom's siblings are 8, 10 and 12 years older than her (she was an accident!) and they are super close.

I hope your family's circumstances allow you to add on another child some day. Sending good thoughts your way.

[brgnmom]

:hug: I hope that your DH comes around. my DH and I planned our kids to have at least a 4-year age gap, because I got pregnant w/ my first a couple of months into our marriage. I've enjoyed the 4-year age gap between my kids, and my DS has been sweet to his baby sister. It worked out well. Initially, I was the one who wanted a 3-year age gap, but I was convinced otherwise (by DH and our circumstances) that a larger age gap would work better for my family - and it has.

my DH at one time (when DS was an infant) was firm on having only one or two kids at most, but he's really come around since then, and he asked me over the weekend when I'd want to try for a third baby. (btw, our DD is only about 3.5 months old).

sending you hopeful and positive thoughts and prayers.

[lmwbasye]

I'm so sorry. That is so hard to deal with. We have been trying for #3 for almost 2 years now and it's just heartbreaking when you want one soooo bad and cannot have one...for whatever the reason.

Sending big hugs your way.

[Staraglimmer]

Thanks guys! You are really making me feel better. I my best friend just told me today that she is pregnant. So now 3 of my 4 friends are pregnant and I feel like a horrible friend because I am just a little bit jealous. Thanks for making me feel better. Hopefully we will have another one day. I just hate feeling this way. I pushed so hard for DD, and sometimes I think DH resents me getting my way.

[niccig]

I pushed so hard for DD, and sometimes I think DH resents me getting my way.

If this is the case, pushing now will make him go the opposite way. I'm like that. If you keep pushing something, I refuse to budge out of principal, even when I have changed my mind. I won't budge as you'll then think it's because of all your pushing, and stubborn me won't do that. DH is the same, and I've learned to mention something, if he's dead against it, leave it alone and let it simmer. Often, he then brings up the topic again.

If your DH's answer is "no, not now", you don't want to push him into saying "no, never." It might mean a larger spacing than what you want, but it will work out.

[ewpmsw]

ITA with the person who suggested giving your DH space and revisiting the issue. It may be that giving him time to process the whole thing can really help your cause. When I was ready for DC #2 and DH wasn't, we agreed to wait about 8 months and "check in" to see whether we were both on the same page. He surprised me in month 7 and was ready. With DC #3, we've agreed to revisit the "should we/shouldn't we" discussion a year after DC #2's arrival. I know that none of this helps you feel better about wanting another little one of your own. Hugs to you. As pp's said, I hope you find a way to make your heart, self and DH happy. Good luck!

[Staraglimmer]

Thanks! DH does not want another one for financial reasons. I'll be ok. I'm complaining on here because I know better than to revisit it with DH. If I complain he would give in, but who wants that. I have no insurance so it is a complete No, I know that'. It just makes me sad :(.

[AnnieW625]

Once I convinced myself I wanted more children (I didn't for a very long time; DH always knew he wanted more than one) it took us six months to get pregnant and then we lost that baby. We were going to wait another 6 months to a year and if it happened great, but if it didn't we knew we were super happy just having DD1. I got pregnant 4 months after the loss (without even trying), and our girls are 4 yrs., and 3 wks. apart, which has been really great. If we didn't live in such a high COL area we'd probably have a third, but we are very happy with our two girls and our family is complete.

ETA: finance wise last year was really hard, but it's getting easier and easier so if you are in a tight spot now it will eventually get easier.

[niccig]

Thanks! DH does not want another one for financial reasons. I'll be ok. I'm complaining on here because I know better than to revisit it with DH. If I complain he would give in, but who wants that. I have no insurance so it is a complete No, I know that'. It just makes me sad :(.

A lot can change given time..I know that doesn't help right now. :22:

[hellokitty]

A lot can change given time..I know that doesn't help right now. :22:

:yeahthat: I've had several friends whose DH's refused to have more kids for $$$ reasons and they eventually did have more kids. So, I think what several of us are trying to say is do not lose heart. Just because he said that, it doesn't mean that it is the final word, they do change their mind. My DH said we would never have #3, and I did not have to coerce him, he came around after I stopped bugging him about it.