When do you tell others? Thinking of telling a little early...

[bisous]

I'm 11 weeks along and I thought I would like to wait until 14 weeks to let people know about our pregnancy. BUT I keep having to come up with excuses for my prenatal visits (got one coming up on Monday) and it is getting awkward--I wonder how much people are guessing already! Also, it is my birthday in a few weeks. My mom (and MIL) really want to buy me clothes! I'd love to tell them that maternity clothes might be the best but again, don't want to tell too early.

I did just have an ultrasound and the baby is really active and moving. I had a m/c at 8 weeks a few months ago and I know that 14 weeks is supposed to be safe. I'd hate to tell and then lose this one. :( WWYD??

[soontobe]

personally we told our parents very early (like 5 weeks or so) and everyone else around 14 weeks. My approach on this is if I would want them to know (and help me through) and miscarriage then I tell them early (ie-our parents).....

[meags]

You could just tell people you are close to for now and tell them you aren't ready to spread the word just yet. That's what we did, we waited until 12 weeks to go public but we told immediate family and very close friends right away.

[Melanie]

I told at 12 weeks with #1, and around 8 weeks with #2, b/c I couldn't really hide it. I didn't show until nearly 5 months with my first and was showing before 3 with my second!

[HIU8]

Told family at 5 weeks with DS and everyone else at 12. Told family immediately with DD (FIL was dieing). Told the world at 12 weeks (coincided with FIL's funeral and MIL wanted a bright spot so she told everyone).

[KLD313]

I was almost 6 mos along before I told most ppl! IDK why I was just super paranoid because I had Grave's Disease diagnosed early on and thought maybe something would happen. We told our family and close friends right away though. I think if you want to tell you should.

[MoJo]

personally we told our parents very early (like 5 weeks or so) and everyone else around 14 weeks. My approach on this is if I would want them to know (and help me through) and miscarriage then I tell them early (ie-our parents).....

:yeahthat: except I told family & my two closest friends even earlier.

Congrats and best wishes!

[scrooks]

We had a very late loss with my first pregnancy so we wait as long as possible to tell anyone. My boss is usually first to know, oddly. Mostly because of doc appointments etc. I would say we r pretty abnormal and most people tell around 12 weeks.

[sewarsh]

we waited until after 12 weeks with #1 & #2.

with #3 we told a lot of people b/w 6wks and 8wks just due to social situations and what not.

unfortunately i miscarried #3 at 9.5 weeks and it kinda sucked to have to send out an email to like 10 people telling them but at the same time these were all people that are very close to us and i got a tremendous amount of support, so i was okay with them knowing i miscarried. it really just amazed me how many people i now know that have miscarried - more than haven't - and so, it ended up being almost a relief that i told people in the first place, i totally didn't feel alone.

i'm 12.5 weeks now in 4th pregnancy adn well start telling people this weekend.

[Gena]

Our plan was to tell after 12 weeks, but we actually ended up telling different people at different times. We told our parents at 8 weeks because we had the rare opportunity to tell them all at once. Due to an early complication, I told my boss at 10 weeks (I was going to need time off for extra appointments). The boss outed me at the staff meeting the next day, by announcing my pregnancy under "new projects". We told other family members and friends after 12 weeks.

[AnnieW625]

With DD1 we told my parents and close family/friends at about 8 weeks, the day of my first drs. appt. People at work found out at about 9 or 10 weeks because I was falling asleep at my desk.

With DD2 we told my parents at 8 or 9 weeks again, then told my grandma a week or so later as my grandpa was dying, and then everyone else including close friends didn't find out until I was 14 weeks along, and I had already gotten the pre AFP results.

[bisous]

Thanks, guys. I suppose I can just let my parents and maybe SILs know. I'm still afraid something will happen--of course, something can happen any time. Waiting is foolproof. To be honest, with the last m/c my one comfort was that nobody knew. That way I didn't have to feel the pain each time I saw someone. I didn't tell my mother, my sister (my best friend) or anyone. I guess I'm just weird like that.

[3blackcats]

personally we told our parents very early (like 5 weeks or so) and everyone else around 14 weeks. My approach on this is if I would want them to know (and help me through) and miscarriage then I tell them early (ie-our parents).....

:yeahthat:

[SnuggleBuggles]

We told everyone at 12w. I am on the other side- I personally don't do well with a lot of sympathy and such. I do better on my own and I would have dh for support. I'd like to have the chance to tell my good friends after the fact if something happened but only when I felt ready, kwim?

Beth

[littlebird]

With DD, we told our parents at about 10 weeks (Christmas day) and everyone else at 14 weeks. I was working with a RE and taking Prometrium. Last year, I had an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage. For this pregnancy, I was working with a RE and on Prometrium again, we decided to tell our parents at 8 weeks (MIL is not well and DH wanted to share the news). I told a few close friends at the same time, but waited to tell everyone else at 14 weeks. With the losses and the potential for loss, I would've waited longer to share, but the circumstances of MIL's health changed things.

[Edensmum]

I told early. I guess I figured that if I had a loss, then I would want those people to know anyway. So family and close friends new basically from BFP or within a few days.
MIL was really awful after we did have a loss, so if we do it again, I'd probably not share with her for some time. Everyone else was great. It you trust that everyone will be great there is no reason to keep it to yourself.
It's your pregnancy, do what you want.

[Smillow]

My first pregnancy ended in a m/c @ 10 weeks & we hadn't told a soul b/c we wanted to in person - I'm sure it would have been awful either way, but it was super awful calling my mom the day after my d&c to tell her that I had been pregnant, but wasn't anymore - it sucked! We told our parents &siblings right away with DS.

[llama8]

I had a 17 week miscarriage with my first and then a healthy DD. I was very sensitive to letting people know.

I told my parents and in-laws immediately. They are such a help with my miscarriage I wanted them to know.

I told some very close friends around 10 weeks.

I told the rest of the world around 18 weeks (but by then it wasn't too much of a secret as I was obviously showing).

[MacMacMoo]

We are sort of weird in our method. we told those who needed to know when it was relevant.

With all our pregnancies DH's boss is always the first to know since DH's in the Army.

With DS1 parents knew a week after we found out, DH was deploying soon, I needed a support group. Thus through the grapevine everyone knew within a week of that.

With ds2 and 3 we waited for the 20 week ultrasound before announcing to our parents. We live on the other side of the country so they see us once ever 18 months. Those who saw us regularly figured it out, and got confirmation when we announced it formally.

[eh613c]

I would tell immediate family now and then everyone else after 14 weeks. Whatever your comfortable with is fine. There's no rule.

[SkyrMommy]

We told both sets of parents right around 5 weeks and I told one very close friend that I worked with so that if something had happened in the workplace, someone would have known. Everyone else we waited until well after 14+ weeks.

[BabbyO]

My goal is always to wait until the 12 wk mark for non-family, but I've never made it. Family we tend to tell ASAP. If I had a miscarriage, I would need their support.

With #1 I ended up telling work around the 10 wk mark because my boss is normally in another city and he was in the office that week. I thought it best to tell him in person a little early.

With #2, everyone knew around the 7 week mark because I couldn't hide running to the bathroom to be sick anymore.

I also have a really hard time keeping secrets like this...

[c&j04]

10-12 weeks. I need to hear that heartbeat! First pregnancy ended at 14 wks. The second time, I wanted to wait til 15 or 16 wks to tell because I was completely terrified. DH said he would wait as long as I asked but I finally realized there is no way I could have a m/c and pretend life was normal.

[daisymommy]

personally we told our parents very early (like 5 weeks or so) and everyone else around 14 weeks. My approach on this is if I would want them to know (and help me through) and miscarriage then I tell them early (ie-our parents).....


You could just tell people you are close to for now and tell them you aren't ready to spread the word just yet. That's what we did, we waited until 12 weeks to go public but we told immediate family and very close friends right away.


:yeahthat: Especially because we struggled with infertility for 2 years trying for #1 and #2, so by the time we got a positive reading, we wanted to shout it from the mountain tops!