Why do DS and I have to fit around other's schedules???

[niccig]

I am done with family and friends wanting to make summer plans that fit around their schedules, but mess things up for DS and I. I was at school and not near a computer when DH called to tell me what family/friends can do. I asked him to check the summer camp's website to see the dates. He tells me DS can go to the camp for the weeks after school and before we leave, as I'm going to study for the GRE. I go to fill out the camp forms and we can only do those 2 weeks if we're enrolling later in the summer...well, we don't need camp in August as I'm not doing anything, and all DS's friends from school are going in June and July. Last year he went for a week, had a break for 2 weeks because of vacation plans, and it was difficult for him to adjust back to going..drop off was awful for a few days. I don't want to do that to him again..send him for 2 weeks, then 4 weeks off and send him for 4 weeks again.

I can't take summer classes because of the vacation as we leave TWO days before the session ends and the final is on the last day. I opted to take the GRE over the class for this reason...and now, I have to find other summer options for DS rather than the great camp I really want to send him too. His school gets out earlier than other schools, so we don't have a lot of options, and they're all much more expensive than the summer camp I want.

We agreed to some family plans for this Christmas that again, we're having to accomodate other people.

And DH wants to know why I'm all annoyed...I'm annoyed that he and others assume that we will be the flexible ones. NO MORE. I am done. If it doesn't fit in with what we need, the answer is no and MIL, my mother, everyone else can just deal with it.

[tiapam]

Big hugs. I hate being the family scheduler. I am trying to pick out a few classes for DS and DD just for right now and it is giving me a headache.

[sste]

Hmmm . . . I will say my DH has recently GREATLY reduced his desire to accomodate other family and schedule trips. What happened was I said, sure, fine, whatever . . . but DH you need to buy the tickets, get the hotel, coordinate the trip, and deal with the school/camp/childcare conflicts for the trips to your family. I said I would do the same for my visits and trips with my family. DH overnight became a far less inclusive, easygoing, accomodating guy with respect to family. He is much more on the same page as me that we love our friends/family but our lifestyle is complex and we can only do so much.

Not sure if this would work given your DH's hours and the fact that he seems to be sincerely trying to adjust with you to the changes by your going back to school . . . but it may change his perspective to see first-hand how much work it is.

[niccig]

Not sure if this would work given your DH's hours and the fact that he seems to be sincerely trying to adjust with you to the changes by your going back to school . . . but it may change his perspective to see first-hand how much work it is.

I did off load on him and showed him all the different camp options - lots of prints out. If we do this then x. If we do that then y. Or we could do this, but it will be....It is complicated. I have to accommodate DS, make sure he has aftercare/summer camp/babysitter etc...but everyone else's desires are lower on my list. They just have to be.

DH has been very good at transitioning with the changes, but summer's will be difficult. He loves to travel and be with family/friends so the difficult part will be saying "I don't know yet." We have to book Summer camps by March 1 to definitely get a spot...and that's difficult when you don't know your other plans, or family won't discuss plans so early.