FB-not sure what the right thing to do is.

[golightly1118]

This morning, when I checked FB, I noticed a confirmed friend request from a girl I went to pastry school with a few years back (I noticed she was a mutual friend of a friend, so I thought it would be fun to catch up). When I checked her wall, I noticed her status noted that physically she was Ok and they (her and DH) could try again. A bit of reading and I noticed she had posted a pg announcement back in January-which makes me think she recently miscarried. I'm not sure what to do-I was in her shoes a couple of years ago, and I know how much the loss hurts and how hard it is to get over. I also know how hard it is to have no one acknowledge your loss. This is compounded by my having a picture of DD for my profile pick, so even though it wasn't intentional it may have felt like salt on a very fresh wound for her to see my friend request. I don't know what to do-I'm pretty sure that she had a miscarriage given the tone of her post, but I don't want to just send her a random note of encouragement if that isn't the case-I haven't spoken to her in a long time. At the same time, I don't feel right just glazing over what she's going through, having walked a mile in her shoes. Thoughts? And I appologize for any typos, I have a very squirmy 11 month old on my lap :)

[boolady]

Given that you're really not sure what happened...miscarriage, accident, who knows, I'd wait and see if anyone else posts any comments that might give you some more information before you post anything. If the situation becomes clearer based on that, then I might just write a simple, "I'm sorry for your loss. Thinking of you."

[TwinFoxes]

Hmm, that's a tough one. If we were once friends, I would probably write something like "I noticed your status update, and I'm not sure of the circumstances but I want you to know I care". I don't think it's ever bad to tell someone you care...and you're not prying. It is a tough decision. Hopefully she'll write back and give you more details, and you can offer her your btdt advice.

[bigpassport]

Can you send a private message to the mutual friend to see if they know what happened?

[wellyes]

I would like it or say "good for you!", nothing more.

[ThreeofUs]

Hmm, that's a tough one. If we were once friends, I would probably write something like "I noticed your status update, and I'm not sure of the circumstances but I want you to know I care". I don't think it's ever bad to tell someone you care...and you're not prying. It is a tough decision. Hopefully she'll write back and give you more details, and you can offer her your btdt advice.


:yeahthat: You can also offer that you experienced a loss and wanted to reach out, just in case.