Does anyone find "girl stuff" pukey and irritating?

[sste]

I hate gobs of light pink and purple. I have never been particularly into dolls (dollhouses are OK). I dislike ribbons, sparkly stuff, little kitten logos, bunnies, etc. I find the whole princess thing not only viscerally kind of gross but also actively worry about it - - I mean, pirates DO things whereas princesses are most often depicted quite passively flittering around in huge dresses. I am not a big fan of ballet as a long-term childhood activity - - the expense, the focus on physical appearance and the eating disorder risk, the inability to continue the activity into adulthood unlike tennis or an instrument.

In short, I am a Boy Mom!! With a new DD.

Is this inevitable? I would like to think these are stereotypes but every little girl in DS's preschool class fits the above description in terms of interests. Every one.

[KpbS]

Sing it sister. Pretty pink princess is totally NMS. I really hope DD is not into those things. :rotflmao:

[TwinFoxes]

There's a new book by Peggy Orenstein which deals with princesses. Here's a thread on it that might be of interest. I was a total tomboy as a child. I'm much girlier now, and I can't say I hate stereotypical girls stuff any more. I sure did when I was a kid though!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=388426&highlight=Cinderella

ETA: although I do hate it when the ONLY option for girls is pink princessy. Why do only boys get cars and airplanes? Girls drive! And fly!

[gatorsmom]

I have always felt very much like this about pink and purple "girl" stuff. I hate walking down the "girl" aisles of Target that are painted bubble gum pink. I've never liked the color pink. I always loved the color blue. Every bedspread I can remember on my bed was blue. I've always felt that way. But I don't know why I have always hated pink so much. I never really questioned why.

I was actually afraid that Sisi would gravitate toward pink frilly clothes, dolls, and other Disney Princess stuff. But her favorite color is yellow, never plays with the dolls she's received as gifts, and doesn't even like the few princess movies she's seen (Beauty and the Beast, Princess and the Frog). She'd rather watch what the boys want to watch. Tonight she was asking for me to turn on Grossology. Normally she asks for Scooby Doo (we love the old ones from the early 70's). Maybe she'll never be a frilly girl.

[kijip]

One of the world's biggest tomboys checking in here.

[Katigre]

I hate gobs of light pink and purple. I have never been particularly into dolls (dollhouses are OK). I dislike ribbons, sparkly stuff, little kitten logos, bunnies, etc. I find the whole princess thing not only viscerally kind of gross but also actively worry about it - - I mean, pirates DO things whereas princesses are most often depicted quite passively flittering around in huge dresses. I am not a big fan of ballet as a long-term childhood activity - - the expense, the focus on physical appearance and the eating disorder risk, the inability to continue the activity into adulthood unlike tennis or an instrument.

In short, I am a Boy Mom!! With a new DD.

Is this inevitable? I would like to think these are stereotypes but every little girl in DS's preschool class fits the above description in terms of interests. Every one.
My DD is very active. If you find the right clothing lines, you can avoid most pastels (they stain easily anyway) and do deeper and brighter colors instead. Gymnastics is a great sport to have kids in, as is martial arts - and both will give roughly the same benefits as ballet (flexibilty, learning coordination, performance skills). Girl toys can be a lot of fun - the pretend play is great, dress up clothes are a blast. We don't have a single Disney Princess item in our house yet.

Maybe you should avoid sending her to regular preschool so she doesn't get socialized into those norms ;).

[StantonHyde]

Well, my DD is a total princess and one tough chick! My favorite visual of her personality: she is in a pink princess dress for "character day" at preschool. She sees herself in the big windows and stops to do a giant karate kick. Oh yeah. Seriously, she can hold her own against her brother any day. While dressed in a pink dress, lip gloss, and glitter nail polish.

I never liked dolls, pink etc. DD has opened my eyes to the possibilitye of being feminine and tough at the same time. She is awesome!!!

[ncat]

I have grown to love pink. It is so darn practical. Pinks match each other pretty well so dressing DD is pretty easy. Pink also matches denim, khaki, and black. My DD seemed to largely grow out of the princess phase in 1st grade.

Now I have to worry about DS's "princess" phase as he seems to love everything sparkly or pink, especially if it belongs/belonged to his big sis. Headbands, hairclips, and barbies are current favorites.

[niccig]

I wouldn't know what to do with a girl. At first, I didn't know what to do with a boy, but now I'm all boy.

[elektra]

There's a new book by Peggy Orenstein which deals with princesses. Here's a thread on it that might be of interest. I was a total tomboy as a child. I'm much girlier now, and I can't say I hate stereotypical girls stuff any more. I sure did when I was a kid though!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=388426&highlight=Cinderella


:yeahthat:

I hated dresses when I was a little girl. I was a huge tomboy. People even thought I was a boy on occasion. My grandmother forced me to take dance lessons and I hated every minute of it. So maybe this scarring from youth is what turned me off to girly things then, but I actually like all that stuff now. And while the princess stuff can be a bit overboard at times, I kinda like that DD is into wearing dresses and accessorizing and all that.
I haven't read this book yet, but I do believe the whole "princess" thing is somehow more prevalent in girls today than it was when we were kids.
I have to say though, that the more I think about this and watch DD, the less I am worried! DD still likes to play in the dirt, run around, ride her tricycle. One of my favorite pictures of her is with dress up princess outfit on, wearing a toolbelt and hard hat. The handy princess.

I took her to a softball tournament this weekend and she told me she wanted to be a softball player when she grew up. :) But when I asked her what she wanted to wear to the ball field she said, "how about my prettiest dress!?" :dizzy:
And you know what? Most of the girls out there on the field were way girlier than they were when I was playing. I would say the majority of the college girls were wearing makeup. I never wore makeup when I played. But they were still diving for balls, hitting homeruns, sliding into bases, they just had better hair while doing so.
Being girly and kicking ass are no longer mutually exclusive. :)

[maiaann]

Nope, I'm girly-girl all the way! I grew up with a household of brothers and never had anyone to play barbies or princesses with. I remember being so lonely. My own mother was a tomboy and never knew what to do with me.

[Binkandabee]

I've got one of each...a tomboy who loves dinosaurs and the color blue and who could give a flip about her clothes, hair, etc. DD#2, though, she was born a princess girlie girl. It's just who she is. She wants to wear perfume, she wants her nails painted, she wants makeup and she wants to wear a tutu or princess dress up dress to school every.single.day.

[salsah]

i feel the same way. i hated pink! it could be because my mom bought everything for us (my sister and me) in pink. almost all our clothes were pink. coats were pink. backpacks were pink. jammies were pink. bedding was pink. bathroom was pink. my favorite color is blue. pink is starting to grow me (or at least i don't hate it anymore) because i have two girls.

when i first had dd1, i tried not to buy anything pink. i bought lots of white and red. i used to buy the "boy" version of things. but eventually, i had to give in. you just can't avoid it. the first time i went shoe shopping for dd1, i was so annoyed that all the girls shoes were so busy -- different colors, lots of embellishments, etc. boys shoes were normal. i finally settled for a pair that were ONLY two shades of pink.

but i'm happy to say that my girls are more like we were when we were kids. they like girly things, but they also like boy things and they are not interested in princesses at all.

[salsah]

People even thought I was a boy on occasion.

"on occasion", sir?

(not trying to be mean. hopefully, just funny. we've all seen your oscar pics. you looked girly, no question about it. i'm sure you looked like girl while playing softball too. we'll have to ask codex.)

[Melbel]

Another mom of a princess who kicks butt! One of my favorite memories of DD1 is her wearing her fancy tiara to play football with the boys across the street at age 5. In addition to dance classes, she is a year round swimmer, triathlon participant, soccer player and basketball player. She can definitely hold her own against the boys at school or her brother. At the same time, she still prefers to wear a dress and look nice when we go out to dinner. I love the balance.

When DD1 was born in 2001, I was not a fan of pink girly stuff either, especially pepto bismal pink. At age 9, DD1 is long past the princess pink and purple phase. It is now simply a sweet memory of the earlier years. At age 2, DD2's favorite colors are pink and purple, and I am enjoying it much more this go around, especially knowing it will not last as she grows.

As far as Disney princess, IME and as well documented by Disney, girls drop princesses like a hot potato around age 5. Even though Mulan is not technically a princess, it has a much better story line for girls!

[randomkid]

You'll be fine, even if your DD is a girly girl. I was a major tomboy growing up, and since it was in the 70s and I had a short bob, I was often mistaken for a boy. I HATED that, but I refused to wear dresses. I had a little time to get used to the idea of girly stuff with DD by going through it with DSDs. It did take me a while to get used to the whole pink and princess thing, but I think I grew to ignore it - lol! DSD1 LOVED pink before the age of 6yo, but then yellow was her favorite color. DSDs also loved Legos. When they were young, I saw DSD2's potential to be good at sports, but her Mom never pursued it. Now that she is a senior and played powder puff football this year, she said "It kind of made me wish I had played a sport". DD will have that opportunity some day. I will put her into a sport when she is older and will encourage participation in school sports. BUT, if she chooses ballet over sports, then I'm fine with that, too.

When DD came along, I did not buy anything pink or frilly. Her room is a nice shade of green, her crib bedding/room theme was classic Pooh with burgundy, ivory and sage green. When we changed her room, she picked bedding with bold colors - navy, red and green. The cloth drawers in her organizers are green and navy. DD likes pink and after a while, I actually liked buying pink clothes for her. However, her closet hardly has anything pink in it now. Brown and black look awesome on her. She does love dresses and we have a lot of them. DD's favorite color is blue. BUT, she has every princess dress under the sun, loves Barbies and ballet (and is actually quite good at it), wants to wear make up and nail polish and is sometimes particular about her hair and clothes - at 6yo. However, other times she won't even let me brush her hair. She plays in the dirt, rides bikes and scooters, makes potty humor jokes (not proud, but it is who she is), does karate kicks and likes to sword fight. One year she asked for foam swords. One of my favorite pictures is of her wearing a princess dress with two swords crossed above her head and a killer look on her face! DD plays with matchbox cars and likes to wrestle, although not in a real rough manner like most boys.

Just know that even if your DD loves girly stuff, she will likely have a balance because of you. I really like being able to enjoy both sides of life - girly girl and a little rough and tumble.

[elektra]

"on occasion", sir?

(not trying to be mean. hopefully, just funny. we've all seen your oscar pics. you looked girly, no question about it. i'm sure you looked like girl while playing softball too. we'll have to ask codex.)

Maybe this is why I had such a strong reaction to being called sir today! LOL!
I had really short hair when I was about 10 and people really did think I looked like a boy, it is true. I'll post a pic even.
I thought I was one cool dude! :hysterical:
So see? Tomboy now does not always equal tomboy later! And my guess is that it goes the same for princesses.
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5095/5490746261_32aa48c34e.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/44911561@N02/5490746261/)

(And where the heck IS Codex these days?)

[ellies mom]

Well, I learned as an equipment tech in the semiconductor industry that my pink crescent wrenches always made it back into my toolbox (They were actually nice ones, I have no idea where they came from, I traded another tech for them). For some reason, while the guys I worked with would borrow it if I was working on the same machine as them, I never once had to go looking for them. That kind of started my love of pink.

For me, because my job was so stereotypically male (less than 10% women and for a few years I was the only female out of 60 techs), I tended to embrace the some of the more "girly" stuff when I wasn't at work. So I can repair cars, Vespa scooters, the very expensive and complicated machines that make computer chips, and knit, sew and scrapbook. I have in the past, replaced parts on my old 1966 Volkswagen Fastback while wearing a skirt. I'm actually most comfortable wearing skirts. Heck, I run in a skirt (pink even, super comfortable). I am all about embracing the "tomboy stuff" and the "girly stuff". And I'd love for my daughters to do the same.

[citymama]

Tomboy mom to a princessy girl here. :dizzy:

I always hated that pink stuff. I look at DD's photos from age 0-2, and she is in orange overalls with firetrucks and blue pants with dinosaurs. She wore pretty much everything but pink, and was frequently mistaken for a boy. She had trains, cars, animals - and hated the dolls that Grandma bought her. I prided myself on this gender blind upbringing.

:ROTFLMAO:

What a joke! Enter age 3 and preschool. Erase that entire history. The pink period begins. It's all about princesses and fairies and dresses and tights and sparkles and ... excuse me while I hurl.

And you know what? It's no big deal. I still wears my jeans and Keens. She wears her tights and twirl dresses. She's happy as a clam and I wouldn't change a thing (except maybe those Disney princesses). She can also name practically every dinosaur that ever lived and tell you all about them, loves science and the natural world and getting dirt under her fingernails. Being princessy is a peer "fitting in" thing, as far as I can tell, not a permanent alteration of her brain.

Oh, and DD2? If older sister has anything to say about it, the train and firetruck clothing is forbidden. The baby must be dressed like a girl, says big sis.

[citymama]

(And where the heck IS Codex these days?)

I was just wondering the same thing. Haven't seen him around in a long time.

ETA We could start a thread about lingerie or something so we can take daddy roll call.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Tomboy mom to a princessy girl here. :dizzy:

I always hated that pink stuff. I look at DD's photos from age 0-2, and she is in orange overalls with firetrucks and blue pants with dinosaurs. She wore pretty much everything but pink, and was frequently mistaken for a boy. She had trains, cars, animals - and hated the dolls that Grandma bought her. I prided myself on this gender blind upbringing.

:ROTFLMAO:

What a joke! Enter age 3 and preschool. Erase that entire history. The pink period begins. It's all about princesses and fairies and dresses and tights and sparkles and ... excuse me while I hurl.

And you know what? It's no big deal. I still wears my jeans and Keens. She wears her tights and twirl dresses. She's happy as a clam and I wouldn't change a thing (except maybe those Disney princesses). She can also name practically every dinosaur that ever lived and tell you all about them, loves science and the natural world and getting dirt under her fingernails. Being princessy is a peer "fitting in" thing, as far as I can tell, not a permanent alteration of her brain.

:yeahthat:
I could have sworn they started repeating the princess mantra at preschool. Girls must only like pink, purple, silver and gold. Boys can have all the other colors. Despite not buying her anything pastel pink for years, all she has wanted for the 3.5-4.5 range is to live in a world of soft, cuddly things that happen to all be "the very beautiful light pink." I haven't heard that phrase for the past few weeks, so just maybe it is lessening.

She loves her yellow spider bike, blue and red pj's with boy stuff on them, plus all the things she knows will be passed down to her brothers, but we're just bearing with the fact that she finds total joy in the glittery, sparkling, rainbow, heart-filled pink items in her life. We gave in to ballet where they wear "pink, pink, and pink" (leotard, tights, shoes) but I'm not sure she'll continue it next year. I'm okay either way. When the brothers are doing soccer or whatever, I have a feeling she'll convert.

Hugs to you. I know it is hard to embrace if it happens to your family against your desire.

[jenfromnj]

I'm not (nor was I ever) a fan of frilly, pretty princess, super girly stuff. I'm not an uberfeminist, but I don't love the stereotypes that seem to be attached to lots of "girly" stuff (i.e. you should be the one doing the cooking and cleaning, you should always try to look pretty and frilly so you can snag Prince Charming, etc.)

I will confess that I was relieved to find out that we were having a son while PG with DS, since I secretly thought I'd just be better equipped to handle "boy things" and was frankly a bit nervous about the "girly" thing.

I also agree with those who said that the stereotypes do seem to be ingrained to a significant extent. DS, at not even 2, has an almost obsessive love for car, trucks, robots, and anything loud and messy, while my young nieces gravitate toward purple and pink things, love shoes, and are generally a bit more civilized than DS, LOL.

[momof2girls]

DD#1 was all girl as a toddler...pink, princesses, pretty things everywhere. DD#2 not so much--video ganes, cars, etc. I see nothing wrong with letting kids be kids and allowing them to be interested in what they chose. If indulging DD with her girly stuff she chose to like is wrong then it would be just as wrong to indulge DD#2 with boyish stuff too.
My mom gave me short haircuts and never really embraced my girlishness. Some people thought I was a boy! I was always jealous of other friends who had parents that allowed them to be girly rather than supress what was natural ffor them.
I'm still a girly girl. Can't change that if I tried.

[Melaine]

It's interesting because my girls have had little peer group exposure, they have lots of playdates, but only a couple of group interactions that aren't on a daily basis (childcare at the Y, yoga class, ballet class). And they go back and forth between "girley" and "tomboy" mindsets. For a long time their favorite colors were pink and purple and then for awhile green and yellow. Now they seem to have moved back to pink and purple. They do really like princesses, even though I have tried to hold back on them a bit. Even more, though, they love animals, blocks, and riding their trikes. I'm not worried about it at this point, but I am really interested in the princess culture and how it affects our children.

[Seitvonzu]

when i found out we were having a girl (in our heart of hearts we both wanted a girl, tbh), i was all "she will be in bold colors, handknits, have a wide variety of toys, etcetc" and then i went digging in the closet and came up with a whole picture of "pink" that i'd already bought "just because/in case."

i have NO pink adversion, i just am not the sort to like TOO much of one thing. we bought "neutral" in terms of gear and the nursery is "marmelade" with one of the walls being painted with "cloud paint." there is a chandelier- but that was for our "lucy in the sky with diamonds" beatles theme :) the bedding is IKEA bugs. (one has glasses just like john lennon always wore and they are playing instruments)

but i worked in a doll store in college. i liked dolls, and dresses, and fairies and crafts and and playing kitchen etcetcetc. so we have all that business.. and blocks. and trains. and puzzles and games. and of course a bazillion books of all shapes, sizes and traditions.

what is my child's favorite thing? twirling dresses. she is OBSESSED with beauty & the beast and the little mermaid. not because of the princesses so much (though she does love them)-- but because they are FULL OF SONGS! :) (lucy loves to sing) we have tons of dress up stuff, but she tends to focus on one outfit at a time and get obsessed with it--- her favorites tend to be the "non-pink" ones lately-- one day we spent literally hours in a gold dress that i got 75% of at target which she would NOT where until that day. i convinced her it was like belle's dress (which is decidely NOT gold, but yellow, but eh!) and i urged her to put on her gold sparkly shoes and did her hair with her gold (from new years) bows... she was so happy with herself; it was pretty cute! then she danced--which is a physical activity i like to promote because we're a little... how shall i say? ungraceful? anyhow....

the abiding love is for her NAVY twirling dress. i wish i had bought 5 of those silly things. then she could literally where it everyday without me caring. that would be awesome. of course for the first 3 months i wanted her to wear it- she WOULD NOT. *sigH*

lucy loves books, singing, yes princesses (i even caved to a big princess tent...because it can pop up and down when mommy is D.O.N.E. with the huge pinkness of it), puzzles, building, "collages", dressing dolls (this has waned a bit, but it's NEVER been about the baby themselves...just the figuring out clothes part), "family movie night", nature tots day, playing outside, playgrounds, collecting stuff (this is another outside thing). i always say "you can put a dress on the girl but it doesn't keep her out of the dirt." i like it this way.

off with mommy hat, on with developmental psychologist hat-- i don't think gender typical vs. gender a-typical play is something to "worry" about. if you are actively trying to steer your child one way or the other, and having anxiety about it-- you'll be disappointed. i've had colleagues that were DETERMINED that there kids would be totally "neutral"-- they were convinced they could do this by preparing an environment and basically dedicating their lives to equalizing (genderwise) EVERYTHING... kids will do what kids do. some of those "neutral" intended kids ended up being the sparkliest, pinkest little girls or most aggressive, motion-obsessed boys. some of it is hard wired-- personality, or simply the evolution of gender. you're going up the waterfall sometimes. (though it isn't "bad" to provide all sorts of things to children and let them lead the way...it's the idea that one way (gender typical) is in some way "deficient" that is the problem)

[Seitvonzu]

oh- and we aren't in preschool yet. but we are into princesses. we did let her see the movies-- and she has some of the polly pocket type dolls. that's about it. she doesn't ask for more of it, but does enjoy what she has. i don't think you can blame preschool 100%-- but if you are uncomfortable with the influence of preschool, you can always resist it and simply say "we don't play with that at our house." there are also ways to find "like-minded" (where people are more likely to not have that sort of toy, for example) preschools if those limits are too uncomfortable.

[brittone2]

I grew up in a house with 4 brothers, and leaned toward tomboy.

With DD I wasn't necessarily anti pink, but definitely not a fan of the princessy stuff and the marketing of all of the glitter/pink/princessy stuff to girls.

Right around when DD was 2.5-3 she started getting interested in it. And I can't blame preschool LOL (although she has some friends who like dressup/princess play which probably helped influence her a bit). We don't really do Disney, although she has one Disney princess book that got gifted to her...and of course she loves it. I do anything I can to avoid reading that one and would love to make it disappear ;) We just moved and she wants a lavender bedroom (last house it was lavender too). She likes pink, dresses, sparkles, princess crowns/tiaras, etc. But, she is quite athletic, rides a blue bike (but would love pink). When she was around 2-3 she was phobic of bugs (her legs would shake!) but she would carry around fistfuls of worms she had dug up with DS1. She isn't afraid to get dirty.

She does ask me if she looks "pretty" (I try to respond with "do you feel pretty?" although perhaps that's going to give her some sort of other complex!). However, I've noticed DS1 will ask me if he looks "nice" and whatnot too.

Oh, and she loved dolls starting at like 12 months on the dot. Weird. We were buying a doll for Toys for Tots and she seriously tackled the baby, still in a big plastic box and was trying to love on it. She's been a doll girl ever since. With DS1 I provided dolls but he never showed any real interest. Stuffed animals were okay with him but he never really played dolls. He did enjoy his play kitchen though :) She definitely seems to be prewired with some girly-ness that just won't be supressed LOL. I've come around and have made peace with it and I think it is fun now. I still intentionally avoid a lot of the Disney princess type marketing, and we make an effort to buy non stereotypical princess books (Paperbag Princess, etc.).

eta: in a recent thread I think citymama was asking about the "getting married" thing and she's totally into that too. She chases DS1 around trying to torture him by saying if she tags him she's "marrying him" and he of course shrieks in horror ;) Again, I cannot blame preschool LOL, although I know she has little friends who like to play "marrying" (that's what they call it) too.

[daisymommy]

I think it all depends upon your personality and style of course. DD and I are both girly to the max kind of people :) But what's funny is I was a total Tom-boy growing up. The only girl on the T-ball team, refused to wear dresses, pink or purple, wore a baseball cap alot with my Chucks sneakers, loved to play in the dirt, catch bugs and climb trees. But by the time I was in highschool that all changed. Then I became a cheerleader and was boy crazy, & my favorite color is now pink :)

[ett]

I wouldn't know what to do with a girl. At first, I didn't know what to do with a boy, but now I'm all boy.

:yeahthat:

[Minnifer]

off with mommy hat, on with developmental psychologist hat-- i don't think gender typical vs. gender a-typical play is something to "worry" about. if you are actively trying to steer your child one way or the other, and having anxiety about it-- you'll be disappointed. i've had colleagues that were DETERMINED that there kids would be totally "neutral"-- they were convinced they could do this by preparing an environment and basically dedicating their lives to equalizing (genderwise) EVERYTHING... kids will do what kids do. some of those "neutral" intended kids ended up being the sparkliest, pinkest little girls or most aggressive, motion-obsessed boys. some of it is hard wired-- personality, or simply the evolution of gender. you're going up the waterfall sometimes. (though it isn't "bad" to provide all sorts of things to children and let them lead the way...it's the idea that one way (gender typical) is in some way "deficient" that is the problem):yeahthat:

[mommylamb]

"on occasion", sir?

:rotflmao:

And Codex is seriously missing in action these days.

[Snow mom]

I don't mind purple (although i'm not a huge pink fan.) At 2.25 DD has started to tell me which pair of shoes "matches" her outfit (seriously, I hope this is just the start of her learning to match up things, not a sign of the fashion demands to come.) She hasn't mentioned princesses yet, but I imagine that is because she's one of two kids in her daycare class who really talk in full sentences. When she moves up this summer I imagine it will begin. I do object to the whole princess thing but I was just thinking about it and generally I'm against all branded products. The thought of Thomas the tank engine makes me want to puke just as much as the Disney princesses. I'd prefer that DD not be exposed to any of it, but unfortunately it's one of those things I can't fully control.

[boolady]

I wasn't a princessy girl at all, but DD is into all of it. I can't blame daycare/preschool, I really can blame myself, because family and friends started giving her "princessy" things as gifts, and she was interested in them, so I let her play with them.

It doesn't bother me for many of the reasons articulated so well by citymama. While she's into princessy, pink, dress up, girly things, she's just as into nature, pirates, dinosaurs, cooking, animals, etc. without any urging from us. As far as my neighbors know, she's 100% tomboy, because for the last two years, she's been a pirate (not a girly pirate, mind you, a pirate) and Buzz Lightyear for Halloween, though she wore a Jasmine costume for her school's Halloween parade-- all by her own choice. When she and I went to pick out a two-wheeled bike last year with a gift certificate from her grandpop, she chose a bright purple bike and rejected the Tinkerbell, princess, Dora, etc. bikes all on her own. I would have let her choose whichever one she wanted, although I intended to point out to her that she didn't want to choose a character bike that she might not like in a few years. I didn't even have to do that.

She's balanced, the princess thing is just a phase in my mind, like any other, and I'm okay with it, even though I would never have really set her down that road entirely on my own.

[kedss]

I have a girl who won't even eat treats unless they are pink, red or purple. We have been able to avoid any obnoxious princessy stuff. She is definitely not a princess, but I know part of it is that she is only 2.5 years old, LOL.

Looking at older girl clothes that are available today, just makes me squeamish.

For myself, I am definitely not a girly girl, don't wear makeup, get my hair cut once a year, sometimes, and definitely was never into pink, my sister was, so I think my DD got my sister's 'pink' gene, LOL ;)

[creativelightbulb]

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/23650_1415319743776_1256047405_1165883_2360508_n.j pg

this is me a tomboy - rather - cowgirl checking in!!

I'm really hoping our DD doesn't go the route of the princess. My sister lives with us and she has ALWAYS been the polar opposite of me. So DD will have exposure to both and it will be interesting to see if she swings one way or the other or take a path down the middle.

Right now I dress her in what fits her chubster legs :rotflmao:.

she has lots of purple - my sister's fav color and lots of turquoise - my fav color

[Twoboos]

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/23650_1415319743776_1256047405_1165883_2360508_n.j pg

this is me a tomboy - rather - cowgirl checking in!!



This pic is awesome, it made me smile!!! You're a rockin' cowgirl! :D

Two DDs here. And a hatred of pink by me. I've grown to accept it. Especially because even if I didn't buy any, everyone else did. I would buy a lot of primary colors if available. ETA: DD1 went through a MAJOR dresses only phase from around ages 2-5. It made me nuts. Especially the tights. Now things are more even between dresses/skirts/pants. and she will wear leggings and when she does wear tights, I don't have to put them on her! She's in 1st. They both still really like princesses, but I feel it's lessened recently.

When DD1 was a baby, DH's grandma gave her a black one piece romper (with red cherries or flowers) and I was overjoyed!! It was SO cute and black is one of my fav clothing colors. Hard to come by for babies, though.

[lizzywednesday]

...
Being girly and kicking ass are no longer mutually exclusive. :)

Wonder Woman has been proving that since the 1989 character "reboot." (That I still know panel-for-panel.)

But, add me to the list of "pink makes me want to vomit" ... I cringe whenever DD gets a gift from a relative or someone who doesn't know me all that well because, inevitably, it will be pink. (Like the dollies from the ILs' neighbors, my aunt & uncle and my dad's mom ... all Pepto-Bismol shades of pink!)

DD is still too little to care, and we've pretty much outlawed pastel pink in our house, but I find she's more drawn to bright and saturated colors anyway - purple, green, royal blue, yellow, etc.

My favorite thing to do with her right now is dress her in something super gender-neutral, but have one tiny feminine detail - like plain red overalls with a cute rosebud onesie, ruffled socks and mary janes or a team-color sports team onesie with a coordinating heart-print thermal - because I'd do the same with a boy. That's not to say she doesn't wear a lot of dresses, but they aren't practical year 'round in our latitude. (I love dresses in the summertime - easy, no worries that she's too hot and I can always toss a blankie over her if she's too chilly ...)

[artvandalay]

I have always been a boy's mom. I know every single Thomas the train, I know all about Star Wars, bugs and dinosaurs.

Then I had DD last year. I know nothing about tights (do they go over the onsie? Or under? What do I do with her hair? Aren't bows a choking hazard? Why does the girl toy isle of Target so pukingly pink??)

I am not a fan of pink, and her room is pretty lacking in the pink department. I really am not a fan of the whole "princess" thing, either. I wonder how things will play out as she gets older.

[tarahsolazy]

It'll be fine!

I'm a lifelong tomboy, wore boy's clothes as a child, have always had short hair, only worn makeup three times, etc.

I have a DD and she is who she is. We haven't gone whole hog on pink, but my kid looks great in hot pink, bright purple, and bright aqua, all of which are easy to find in girls' clothing, so she wears those colors a lot.

At almost 4, she mostly plays with art supplies, no real doll love, although she has a few dolls.

I figure she'll be whoever she'll be, and if she wants to be girly-girly, she'll have to have her auntie teach her the makeup stuff.

[artvandalay]

kdkinkade (http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/member.php?u=25399) - what a cutie!!! Love it!

[elektra]

this is me a tomboy - rather - cowgirl checking in!!



Awesome!

Looking back, my parents never tripped out on my being so boyish either. And I eventually grew out of it. I think that's what leading me to not worry so much about DD.

[AnnieW625]

Add me to that list.

DD1 is the proud owner of Carter's Truck/Plane/Police car jammies from last year. They have a hole in the toe now because she has worn them so much. I should've bought her two pairs last year. Her favorite movie is Cars. Her best friend at daycare is a boy.

DD1 does take ballet and I don't have an issue with it now because she is seriously captivated by dance, and music; this started when she was around 2 yrs. old. Her ballet school, while very well regarded has dancers at all levels of all shapes and sizes, and race. Of course there are those who are way more serious than others, but for the most part I really like how the school is run.

I am more of a fan of letting my girls be girls and letting them decide what they want to do and what they want to do with.

[lizzywednesday]

...

Then I had DD last year. I know nothing about tights (do they go over the onsie? Or under? What do I do with her hair? Aren't bows a choking hazard? Why does the girl toy isle of Target so pukingly pink??)
...

Oh I can answer that question for tights: I put them on however it's easiest to change the baby, unless they have a cute detail on the bum. (DD has some ruffle-butt tights from Hanna and snowflake ones from ON, so they go over onesie or with a dress that was sold without a diaper cover. I bought the snowflake tights to go with a specific dress and the ruffle-butt ones were on sale ... and she's worn them with her Christmas, Valentine's and Birthday dresses.)

Bows are a choking hazard, so if you can't see the baby while she's wearing them, I'd skip 'em. But they look positively darling, so I clip them in when we're out and about - grocery store, stroller, etc. (My DD pulls 'em out and tosses 'em anyway, so I don't worry too much.)

[ladysoapmaker]

I was a tomboy growing up. I hated to wear dresses. I was seriously thinking about not walking at my High School Graduation because they insisted the girls had to wear dresses. (And my Mom backed them up :32: )

DD#1 is a Star Wars fiend, likes to wear dresses, likes to sword fight. Her favorite colors are purple, pink, & black in that order (pink was added after she started preschool, black happened this year). She likes the Disney Princesses but I think only in the abstract, she loves getting the stickers but she doesn't pretend to be them, she's much rather pretend to be Padme. (And the boys encourage it). DD#2 has shown a high preference to green. And she's my daredevil. And prefers to play with her monkey instead of a babydoll.

I try not to get too much pink but sometimes the only thing that fits is pink... Though I will admit I did pick up some pink camouflage corduroy fabric to make DD#1 pants and a jumper.

Jen

[BabbyO]

I NEVER got into pink...especially as a little girl. I really liked other colors...purple, blue, red but I always hated pink. This is funny because my birthday is in October and the (cheap) stone that you get in jewelry for October is always pink. I HATED it. I would ask for people to get me Sept or Nov birthstone jewelry because I hated the pink color!

I don't mind some pink, but when I look at girls clothes these days it seems like you have so few other choices. I just wish that there were other options. Girls don't always have to wear pink.

I'm scared that #2 might be a girl...I don't want that much pink in my house. Her room will be Dr. Seuss...and all primary colors so at least I have that!

[wendmatt]

DD is a very ungirly girl, but not a tom boy by any means. She refuses to wear dresses or skirts, her favorite clothes are How to train your dragon t-shirts from the boys section at Walmart. There's hope for you! And even if she is into all that stuff, you'll just go along with it because it'll seem cute at her age!

[citymama]

Kdkinkade, you are a rockin' cowgirl!

This thread reminds me I should do something about our virtual book group to discuss the Peggy Orenstein book.

[SkyrMommy]

Count me in as well as a less pink, more dirt kind of girl! Barbie used to go on safari and parachute out windows when I was young! My mom is an amazing seamstress so I had to tolerate my fair share of dresses, but nothing terrible.

DH and I are letting DD learn her own way... right now she loves Cinderella, "C'nderelly" she calls her and has pink Disney slippers that she wears in the house. Bows and hair accessories are a big no for her, she looks at me like I'm nuts and wears them very rarely. She'll wear pink one day and declare "me like" and then the next be wearing brown and green and say the same thing.

If she's happy, it's all good...

[artvandalay]

Oh I can answer that question for tights: I put them on however it's easiest to change the baby, unless they have a cute detail on the bum. (DD has some ruffle-butt tights from Hanna and snowflake ones from ON, so they go over onesie or with a dress that was sold without a diaper cover. I bought the snowflake tights to go with a specific dress and the ruffle-butt ones were on sale ... and she's worn them with her Christmas, Valentine's and Birthday dresses.)

Bows are a choking hazard, so if you can't see the baby while she's wearing them, I'd skip 'em. But they look positively darling, so I clip them in when we're out and about - grocery store, stroller, etc. (My DD pulls 'em out and tosses 'em anyway, so I don't worry too much.)

lol..thanks! I really want to put something cute in her hair but I'm so paranoid. When did you cut her hair? She had kind of a mullet going so I trimmed her bangs a bit, wasn't sure if I should put it in a pony or something, or just trim it. With the boys I had their hair cut at about this time (9 mos)

[maestramommy]

There's a new book by Peggy Orenstein which deals with princesses. Here's a thread on it that might be of interest. I was a total tomboy as a child. I'm much girlier now, and I can't say I hate stereotypical girls stuff any more. I sure did when I was a kid though!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=388426&highlight=Cinderella

ETA: although I do hate it when the ONLY option for girls is pink princessy. Why do only boys get cars and airplanes? Girls drive! And fly!

Just read the book a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't bad. Some of it was a little overwrought, but the chapters on toddler pageants, and the idolization of Miley Cyrus and the like are pretty insightful.

My biggest takeaway from the book come down to 1) give my girls REAL choices (like, not 1 out of 200 princess items), 2) sexuality is a feeling, NOT something you perform. Not sure how I'm going to convey that to my girls yet, but it's something I keep in mind.

However, if someone wants a more substantial book on girls identity and achievement that is slightly OT from the princess thing, I highly recommend Orenstein's first book, "Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self-Esteem, and the Confidence Gap." I just finished it last week. This was written in '94, so the study that gave impetus to the book might seem dated, but I found it much more "academic" and enlightening. She spends a year following and interviewing a group of girls from two very different middle schools in the San Francisco area. Reading it right after the princess book, I found it an interesting look at the stage that comes after girls are done with the princessy, Bratz, etc phase.

But to answer the OP's question :p, it's not the way I grew up, but I'll go with it. For now. And I DO give them other options.

[mackmama]

I cannot deal with pink. Something about it gives me a headache. I think the whole blue+trucks=boy and pink+dolls=girl thing is so silly and unfortunate.

[boolady]

I cannot deal with pink. Something about it gives me a headache. I think the whole blue+trucks=boy and pink+dolls=girl thing is so silly and unfortunate.

I agree with you, and I've been thinking a lot about this thread today. While I agree that princess-y/pink/girly girly things tend to be everywhere right now, and I could do without it, I would never stop DD from wearing pink, if she likes pink, or wearing dresses, if she likes dresses. She does both. She loves pink, but she also loves green. I think I'd be just as wrong to not let her wear pink because it's "girly" as I would be to tell her that she couldn't wear green because it's "boyish." I really don't think she likes pink because it's princess-y, I think she likes it because she thinks it's pretty.

She loves to wear dresses--I don't know why I'd want to discourage her from wearing dresses, either. It's never stopped her from doing anything she wants to do. For her, it's mainly a comfort thing, and she'll wear them all winter long with leggings or jeans underneath. I don't associate her desire to wear dresses with princess overload, either. It's just a personal preference thing.

I guess what I'm getting at is-- where is the line where I impose what I would chose for her? For me, dictating what colors she can or can't wear or not letting or wanting her to wear dresses is beyond what I'm comfortable with, because I can't really see a reason for it. Maybe I'm wrong.

[ellies mom]

She loves pink, but she also loves green. I think I'd be just as wrong to not let her wear pink because it's "girly" as I would be to tell her that she couldn't wear green because it's "boyish." I really don't think she likes pink because it's princess-y, I think she likes it because she thinks it's pretty.

I guess what I'm getting at is-- where is the line where I impose what I would chose for her? For me, dictating what colors she can or can't wear or not letting or wanting her to wear dresses is beyond what I'm comfortable with, because I can't really see a reason for it. Maybe I'm wrong.

I think this is a really good point. One of the things I don't like about "gender neutral" is that it is often "boy lite". It is very, very rarely truly gender neutral. And to me, that sends a message, that "girl" is not as good as "boy". Or on the flip side, that boys are delicate flowers that need to be protected from all things girly. If I'm saying to my daughter "I know you really want a pink bike but I want to hand it down to your brother so you I'm going to get you a green or blue one instead", what I am really saying is that her brother's wishes and desires trumps hers. That it is preferable for her to have something she doesn't like than for her brother to have something that he doesn't like.

So yeah, I agree. I'm trying to raise my daughters to be their own persons. And part of raising well-rounded kids is letting them explore their likes, dislikes and preferences separate from my likes, dislikes and preferences.

[momof2girls]

I think this is a really good point. One of the things I don't like about "gender neutral" is that it is often "boy lite". It is very, very rarely truly gender neutral. And to me, that sends a message, that "girl" is not as good as "boy". Or on the flip side, that boys are delicate flowers that need to be protected from all things girly. If I'm saying to my daughter "I know you really want a pink bike but I want to hand it down to your brother so you I'm going to get you a green or blue one instead", what I am really saying is that her brother's wishes and desires trumps hers. That it is preferable for her to have something she doesn't like than for her brother to have something that he doesn't like.

So yeah, I agree. I'm trying to raise my daughters to be their own persons. And part of raising well-rounded kids is letting them explore their likes, dislikes and preferences separate from my likes, dislikes and preferences.

:yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::bighand:

[sste]

This thread has given me so much hope - - the part where posters reported their girls outgrew intense pink and/or princess around age 5 or 6. For a few years, I can deal but I was thinking more like 12 years of pink-everything.

I will say my DS likes pink and we take a dance class together and afterwards there is a bigger kid ballet class with all the kids in tutus and he says every week he wants to take that class too (I told him we could though I have no idea if he is drawn to the teacher, the music, the dance, or the tutu!).

I love red. I hope DD loves red.

[lizzywednesday]

lol..thanks! I really want to put something cute in her hair but I'm so paranoid. When did you cut her hair? She had kind of a mullet going so I trimmed her bangs a bit, wasn't sure if I should put it in a pony or something, or just trim it. With the boys I had their hair cut at about this time (9 mos)

She just barely has enough hair to put the clippies in, so I haven't even started to think about a haircut yet. It's looking a little wispy at the ends, but that usually clears up with a wash, so I'm in no rush.

However, one of my BFFs from high school has a DD a month older than mine & she got her DD's hair cut at 11 months. Of course, that li'l girl has a lot more hair than my DD has, so it made sense!

[salsah]

I think this is a really good point. One of the things I don't like about "gender neutral" is that it is often "boy lite". It is very, very rarely truly gender neutral. And to me, that sends a message, that "girl" is not as good as "boy". Or on the flip side, that boys are delicate flowers that need to be protected from all things girly. If I'm saying to my daughter "I know you really want a pink bike but I want to hand it down to your brother so you I'm going to get you a green or blue one instead", what I am really saying is that her brother's wishes and desires trumps hers. That it is preferable for her to have something she doesn't like than for her brother to have something that he doesn't like.

So yeah, I agree. I'm trying to raise my daughters to be their own persons. And part of raising well-rounded kids is letting them explore their likes, dislikes and preferences separate from my likes, dislikes and preferences.

:yeahthat:

[liamsmom]

I cannot deal with pink. Something about it gives me a headache. I think the whole blue+trucks=boy and pink+dolls=girl thing is so silly and unfortunate.

:yeahthat: This was probably the biggest reason why I chose not to learn the gender when I was pregnant. I tried to reduce the gender stereotypes as much as possible, but I know I can't control everything. I try to buy gender-neutral things so DS at least gets exposure to different toys, but there's no denying he loves cars. It must be due to his penis. What else could it be?

Have you ever noticed how cats are on girls' clothes and dogs are on boys'? I can't stand that either.

[rin]

This was probably the biggest reason why I chose not to learn the gender when I was pregnant. I tried to reduce the gender stereotypes as much as possible, but I know I can't control everything. I try to buy gender-neutral things so DS at least gets exposure to different toys, but there's no denying he loves cars. It must be due to his penis. What else could it be?

Heh heh heh. My DD LOVES cars and trucks and things that go. Has since she could first starting trying to grab other kids' toys at library story time. Must be due to her . . . penis envy? ;)

[SpaceGal]

Yeah I'm not a fan of the princess stuff. I do love Tinkerbell because she's a tough cookie and tinkers! Hehehehe I have two older boys and a girl and she's all boy. She plays cars and Legos...dresses up like Indiana Jones and what not.

But I do love putting her in dresses...thought I tend to find myself picking out non-pinks.

I try to buy toys that all the kids can play...she gets a few dolls but that's it.

[kijip]

I totally agree with Veronica. Gender neutral being basically boy inoffensive reinforces the sexist ethos that boys are better. I will say nothing gets uber gendered peeps hackles more than a boy like mine who likes pink. It all comes down to fear of homosexuality as far as I am concerned. So stupid and so ignorant to assume sexual orientation from things like color preferences and hobby choices. We have a neutralish-positive term for girls who like boy things in tomboy. No such similarly neutral or positive term exists for boys who like girl things. Only derogatory slurs come to mind. Some people might say "sensitive boy" but that is not a term with the neutrality of tomboy to be sure.

[kijip]

Electra- I am so there with you with the boy looking kid pics. My hair was short, I never wore dresses and people mistook me for a boy all the time. All the time. In fact, frankly I think my extended family was not all that shocked to learn that one of us kids was transexual and transitioned as an adult. They were just surprised the person was not me, but instead my brother. :hysterical:

[niccig]

I want DS to be who he is, but also to know that women and men can do the same or different things. DS is growing up with a mother that is better at gardening, some handy stuff and is the remover of any creepy crawly (just because DH isn't home to do it). I don't have any brothers and my mother always helped Dad with any home maintenance, and we did the same as we got older. DH is in a creative profession and any compliments on my clothes are due to him, he's my personal shopper and has better fashion sense than I do! DH insisted that DS have a doll with a stroller when DS asked for one, and for the play kitchen. Now if DH would just learn to cook, we'll have covered all bases. I'm making sure DS can cook - he makes better scrambled eggs than I do.

[belovedgandp]

I have always been a boy's mom. I know every single Thomas the train, I know all about Star Wars, bugs and dinosaurs.

Then I had DD last year. I know nothing about tights (do they go over the onsie? Or under? What do I do with her hair? Aren't bows a choking hazard? Why does the girl toy isle of Target so pukingly pink??)

I am not a fan of pink, and her room is pretty lacking in the pink department. I really am not a fan of the whole "princess" thing, either. I wonder how things will play out as she gets older.

We're living the same life. I had the boy thing down and now I'm not so sure. Buying clothes is so much more complicated than jeans/shorts and t-shirts now.