Which mom traps did you fall into?

[kozachka]

Just read an article about common mom traps, and guess what, I fell into most of them at one time or another. Thankfully, I also climbed out of most of them as DS got older. Need to figure out how to exercise more and schedule annual checkup. So what traps did you fall into? Any other traps to be aware of?

[longtallsally05]

As for the ones I didn't vote "yes" on,

chores: I do everything except finances & lawn care. DH also does 50% of grocery shopping (the commissary a 45 minute drive from home & it is a $ saver for us).
sick: I waited 5 months to see a dr about a problem, does that count?
sex: I can only remember it was recent b/c DH was griping about how we "never" do it. Um, sure, you're the only one who feels deprived, DH.

One additional trap I've fallen into is doing all the childcare, or 90% when I nag DH into doing 10% of it. DH never takes the initiative to do work related to the kids (eg. meals, baths, diaper changes, bedtime prep, getting a child dressed, reading bedtime stories etc); I must ask or tell him (repeatedly) as if he's doing me a favor or he is a recalcitrant teenager. If I'm not doing it myself, there is a good chance I'm still involved (eg. DH will give DS a bath if I run the water, lay out the toiletries, towel, washcloth, lotion, pjs, lotion, diaper etc). If I sleep in past 7 am on Saturday/Sunday, DH is pi$$ed that I haven't gotten DD ready for dance class/church (even if I said the night before that I wasn't going to church, that it would be just him & DD). At least he stopped refusing to feed them breakfast b/c he "didn't know what [I] want them to eat". DH thinks he deserves a medal for parenting because he does more than FIL did when DH was growing up. FIL barely noticed that DH and SIL were alive; MIL did 100% of the parenting and household duties. I don't care if it is old school, times have changed (or they should have). Get with the program and take some parenting initiative, DH!

[salsah]

all of the above and i only listen to their music.

[SnuggleBuggles]

The only one I would say yes to is the chores one but I often ask for help. Otherwise, none of the other ones.

Beth

[maestramommy]

tee hee! I checked my kids dress better than I do, and I go out with them more than my spouse. I think that's pretty reasonable:loveeyes:

[egoldber]

Honestly, I think these things just make people feel bad. Most of these things (excluding you do all the chores) are temporary while your kids are very little. It's not like you're going to be dragging toddlers to the grocery store vs. going out with your husband for the rest of your life. But I think most of these are normal during early infancy and toddlerhood. I think expecting to maintain all of these things when your kids are tiny is unrealistic.

But OTOH, it is a big factor in our decision to be totally done having kids. ;)

[MoJo]

Your kids dress better than you do -- of course they do. People are always buying them new ones, and their clothes actually fit. Even my nice clothes just don't look right yet, and I haven't figured out a way to try on anything new while shopping with two.

You do all the chores -- yes, but that was true pre kids, too. If I don't do it, it just doesn't get done. (Yes, I've tried not doing it.)

You jump in to solve your kids problems -- I help the oldest figure it out. I think that's the best I can do for now.

You don't have time to get sick/see a doctor -- I don't have time to be sick, but if I need to see a doctor, I take the kids with me and go.

You can't remember the last time you had sex -- yes, I can (it's measured in days, not weeks).

You don't have time to exercise--the kids are my exercise. 17 lb and 34 lb weights included!

You go out with your kids more than your spouse -- yes, because my husband has a job. No amount of babysitting and date nights (which we haven't done for 14 months. . . yes, I remember that too) would change that. If I'm out, the kids are with me. If DH is off work & not working from home, & not sleeping because he was up late or early working, he's with us.

Other. I'm not feeling "trapped" by the kids for most of the above.

[jess_g]

I like this one alot:

You go out with your kids more than your spouse

Its so me. I go out all the time with the kids but never with my dh unless he has a day off when the kids are in school.

And also I do think my kids dress better than I do sometimes.

Jessica.

[sewarsh]

I'm actually very proud to say that i really don't feel comfortable checking any of those boxes because none of them entirely relate to me all the time. I try to find a balance.

[Melaine]

I checked all of them. Although, in retrospect, I think we have plenty of sex, although DH would disagree.

[daisymommy]

Guilty of all of the above :bag.

[artvandalay]

I picked don't have time to exercise - this one really bugs me. I can feel myself getting flabbier by the day. I"m not overweight, and I've lost the babyweight, but I have no tone. It's not just that I don't have time to exercise, it's also I'm so tired. DD was up 4x last night. When I finally get her down for naps I usually kind of space out and regroup.

Oh, and I think breastfeeding has killed my sex drive. So, even though DH bugs me about it about every other night, I usually thwart his advances. I have no desire for it, so I don't miss it. I wish someone would come out with a pill or something that I can take that would make me horny again!

[BarbieSmith]

I clicked all of them. And I don't feel that guilty about it!

[Katigre]

The only one I checked was 'go out with the kids more than my DH' because seriously, I'm out of the house with the kids 3-4x/week and there's no way DH would even want to go out that often after working all day.

And exercise...I just tell myself that taking daily walks with the kids counts as exercise ;).

[Ceepa]

And exercise...I just tell myself that taking daily walks with the kids counts as exercise ;).

Ha! I tell myself bending over to pick up toys and running laundry up and down the stairs is exercise.

[mommylamb]

None of them actually.

[crl]

I do all the chores. I think that is more a function of dh's work schedule than having kids.

I do not have time to go to the doctor or get sick. That is definitely related to the kids. I did just make a couple of long overdue appointments for myself and hire a babysitter though!

And I do go out with my kids more than dh. But, again, that's a function of dh's work schedule and me being a SAHM. So sort of because of the kids, but sort of because of the details of our lives.

Those are the only ones I checked.

Catherine

[♥ms.pacman♥]

just one..the kids dress better than you do. with all the Hanna and Gymbo sales going on recently, my DS (and even my DD) have nice, high quality clothing and way better coordinating wardrobes than I do. :)