elizabethkott
03-03-2011, 10:14 PM
The following is a transcript of an ACTUAL conversation had in my 7th period class. This is a group of mixed level, mixed grade students, but primarily juniors and seniors. In high school.
To protect the ignorant, some of the names have been changed.
(Sound of geese honking and ducks quacking)
ME:
Oh no. It sounds like the geese and the ducks are flying back. I hate this time of year and all the geese and duck poop.
STUDENT #1:
You know, I don't think the birds fly east anymore.
ME:
:shake:
I think you mean fly *south*.
STUDENT #1:
Oh whatever.
STUDENT #2:
Well of course the ducks don't fly south. Ducks can't fly!
ME:
What?
STUDENT #2:
Ducks can't fly.
ME:
WHAT?! What are you talking about?! What do you mean, "ducks can't fly"?!
STUDENT #2:
Ducks. Can't. Fly.
ME:
Are you even being serious right now? Have you been in the park out back there? Seen the ducks? You know, the birds in the pond that have wings and say "quack"? Of COURSE they fly! DUCKS CAN FLY.
STUDENT #2:
No, no they can't. Ducks can't fly.
ME:
:banghead:
Perhaps you're confusing ducks with chickens... or penguins... or ostritches. Chickens, penguins and ostritches are all birds that can't fly.
STUDENT #3:
Wait, Mrs. Kott. Penguins can fly.
ME:
No. No, they can't.
STUDENT #3:
Yes they can. They just fly in the water.
ME:
:eek:
(sigh)
Student #3, that's called SWIMMING.
STUDENT #3:
No! They can FLY in the WATER. I saw it on the Discovery Channel. It was a show about penguins and they were all diving into the water and the guy said, "Watch how they fly through the water."
ME:
That was a METAPHOR. You know, the literary device? It didn't mean they were ACTUALLY FLYING in the water. It meant that they were swimming so fast it SEEMED like they were flying.
STUDENT #2:
I still say ducks can't fly.
[Bell Rings]
ME:
:duh:
(sigh)
See you guys tomorrow.
You really can't make this stuff up.
To protect the ignorant, some of the names have been changed.
(Sound of geese honking and ducks quacking)
ME:
Oh no. It sounds like the geese and the ducks are flying back. I hate this time of year and all the geese and duck poop.
STUDENT #1:
You know, I don't think the birds fly east anymore.
ME:
:shake:
I think you mean fly *south*.
STUDENT #1:
Oh whatever.
STUDENT #2:
Well of course the ducks don't fly south. Ducks can't fly!
ME:
What?
STUDENT #2:
Ducks can't fly.
ME:
WHAT?! What are you talking about?! What do you mean, "ducks can't fly"?!
STUDENT #2:
Ducks. Can't. Fly.
ME:
Are you even being serious right now? Have you been in the park out back there? Seen the ducks? You know, the birds in the pond that have wings and say "quack"? Of COURSE they fly! DUCKS CAN FLY.
STUDENT #2:
No, no they can't. Ducks can't fly.
ME:
:banghead:
Perhaps you're confusing ducks with chickens... or penguins... or ostritches. Chickens, penguins and ostritches are all birds that can't fly.
STUDENT #3:
Wait, Mrs. Kott. Penguins can fly.
ME:
No. No, they can't.
STUDENT #3:
Yes they can. They just fly in the water.
ME:
:eek:
(sigh)
Student #3, that's called SWIMMING.
STUDENT #3:
No! They can FLY in the WATER. I saw it on the Discovery Channel. It was a show about penguins and they were all diving into the water and the guy said, "Watch how they fly through the water."
ME:
That was a METAPHOR. You know, the literary device? It didn't mean they were ACTUALLY FLYING in the water. It meant that they were swimming so fast it SEEMED like they were flying.
STUDENT #2:
I still say ducks can't fly.
[Bell Rings]
ME:
:duh:
(sigh)
See you guys tomorrow.
You really can't make this stuff up.