Facebook BP

[arivecchi]

I have never met this girl. I friended her because she is really good friends with DH. DH is not on FB but I am. She wanted to see pics of our kids. Ok. She seemed really nice.

However, she emails my DH to tell him that we really need to take away the paci from our DS. DH is embarrased. We argue about it.

Whatever. He just turned 2. He won't go away to college with it. MYOB woman.

Remove friend. Click.

Ahhhhhh. Feel much better now.

[kdeunc]

People really need to mind their own business, says the mother of the 2 1/2 year old who finally only has paci in the crib and who had a DS who thankfully lost his on his 3rd birthday!:bag

[artvandalay]

What a weirdo. I can't believe she emailed him just to tell him that. I'd remove her, too!

[cuca_]

Good for you for removing her. People need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves sometimes. Unless specifically asked I would never give advise about stuff like this. Your kid, your decision.

[edurnemk]

OMG! :47: I can't believe her! That was really rude. I'd be furious and tempted to send her a FB message telling her to mind her own business before removing her from my FB friends.

I've seen a lot of questionable parenting on FB (mostly car seat stuff), and I bite my tongue. One should keep one's opinions to oneself.

FWIW DS used a paci until 2.6 yo. He's fine. His teeth are fine. And it helped us both get through a lot of transitions and moves and hard times. Hey even our Ped said I shouldn't take his paci away in the middle of so many changes. His exact words: "It's my obligation to tell you you should take the pacifier away, but since you just moved and may move again soon I strongly advise you don't even try to take it away now. Let him be and wait until you're all settled down."

[sste]

Yikes, she invented a new form "mommy drive-by via FB." I can't believe she emailed your DH. My DH is always somewhat more sensitive than I am to public opinion so this kind of thing would cause some dissension in my house too!

[egoldber]

Witch!

If it makes you feel better, my younger DD still uses a paci at night. And older DD sucked her thumb until she was 7.

Seriously, there are just WAY more important things to stress about in life.

[arivecchi]

Thank you all for making me feel better. In a way, I feel like I am overreacting, but I am just furious.

If she really has a huge problem with this issue, email ME. Do not call my DH like he will make the unilateral decision to get rid of the paci.
And yes, there are so many other things that I would get worked up about before a paci. DS1 used his until he was about 2.5 yo. He's fine. His speech is fine. His teeth are fine. DS2 just turned 2. We just moved. He could use the comfort. Besides, he only uses it in the crib and for long car rides.

I am sure she will figure out I removed her and likely tell DH. I don't care. I already told DH I was removing her for doing the indirect drive-by.

[TwinFoxes]

Wowza! This is one situation where I wish FB notified people when they were unfriended.

How obnoxious and presumptuous of her.

[liamsmom]

Unbelievably rude. And she had never met you or your kids before, and she just doles out parenting advice? :32: Good for you for de-friending her.

[wencit]

Do you have your address? Mail the pacifier to her and tell her to shove it in her mouth, because she obviously needs it! :angry-smiley-005: I am so angry for you!

[mommylamb]

Better off without her. Why on earth would anyone think that's there business???

[KHF]

How obnoxious and presumptuous of her.
:yeahthat:

My DS (2 yrs, 2 mos) still uses his at night and sometimes he uses it during the day. When he's cutting molars (as he is now), I'd rather him chew on the paci than everything else he can get his hands on. Besides, the unbridled joy on his face when he sees it is enough to indicate to me that he still wants it for comfort sometimes and I'm A-OK with that.

We're starting to move away from it, particularly during the day, but frankly I'm just not hugely worried. Our ped said to work towards giving it up by 3. I think that's do-able.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Do you have your address? Mail the pacifier to her and tell her to shove it in her mouth, because she obviously needs it! :angry-smiley-005: I am so angry for you!

:yeahthat: love this response.

yeah, she really needs to mind her own business. i cant' believe she emailed your DH over that.

[AnnieW625]

That sucks. Wait till she has kids. While neither of my girls took a paci past four months although DD2 does chew on one now as a teether she sucks her thumb and I have no issue with it, but it drives DH up the wall. I would be really suprised if she doesn't have to have braces as both DH and I had them, and DD1's dentist already asked who wore head gear (that belongs to DH). Good for you for defriending her.

[arivecchi]

She actually has kids and is a child psychologist, hence she is always right about child-rearing. :shake:

[sste]

You know, my MIL is a child development psychologist (research end) and she has always had the stellar good sense to keep her mouth shut!! She has never given me child-rearing advice unless I have explicitly asked. She also has told me that after you have been in that field for a couple of decades and you see theories go in and out of vogue you lose alot of your fervent insistence on the "right" way to do things.

Give this woman a few more years and hopefully some humility will sink in!

[YouAreTheFocus]

Who does that?! I can't believe she emailed your DH about something she saw in your FB pics. Especially something as innocuous as a 2 yr old w/ a paci. Get a life, woman!

[elektra]

Ooooh I would be pissed!



You know, my MIL is a child development psychologist (research end) and she has always had the stellar good sense to keep her mouth shut!! She has never given me child-rearing advice unless I have explicitly asked. She also has told me that after you have been in that field for a couple of decades and you see theories go in and out of vogue you lose alot of your fervent insistence on the "right" way to do things.

Give this woman a few more years and hopefully some humility will sink in!

And thank god my MIL also takes this approach she has 6 kids, spaced out over 20 years and she has also seen first hand how the things that were supposedly right in 1969 were wrong by 1989! And so you just can't preach about what's "best" when it comes to such minor things as pacis.

[blue]

Oh you are definitely not over reacting to her IMHO.
Just the fact that she went behind your back and emailed your DH with her "advise" would send me over the edge. If she wanted to "help", she should have said it directly to YOU.

[Corie]

Wow, that would really piss me off!!!

FWIW, my son had a paci until he was 3.5 years old. And he's
totally fine. :)

[carolinamama]

What nerve she has. Good for you getting rid of her.

FWIW, DS1 had his paci until he was 3.5. Gasp, you read that right. His teeth are fine and he has been going to a pedi dentist since 2 yo. There are bigger things to worry about imo.

[Melaine]

Remove friend and quickly. That is so not ok, I don't care what she does for a living or if she's a parent. NOT OK!

I, for one, don't even think 2 is old for a paci. Her actions were out of line even if DC was 5 with one.

[elektra]

If she starts emailing your DH about anything negative regarding your stroller use (that DS #1 is too old perhaps) PLEASE send me her personal info. I can get creative from there. It's probably best if you are not aware of my planned methods. :icon_twisted:

[eh613c]

This is one of the reasons why I don't do facebook. People tend to give you their parenting opinions even when they're not asked for, especially when they don't have kids! Good for you for de-friending her!

I'm curious as to why your DH was embarrassed. He should have at least defended you and your DS.

[JTsMom]

Who does that?!?!?

[golightly1118]

Oh, ick. I've seen questionable parenting choices with my friends on FB, but I don't post/email about them! I figure a) it's none of my business, and b) I'm sure that there are people who would question some of my parenting choices too, but they're doing me the same courtesy. Good for you for de-friending her, as it would most likely only get worse over time.

[arivecchi]

I'm curious as to why your DH was embarrassed. He should have at least defended you and your DS. Wouldn't you have been embarrassed? I think it's only natural.

[deborah_r]

Wow, totally out of line. Definitely de-friend.

DS1 had a paci until 4.5 years old. DS2 rejected the paci outright. I really think it's about the individual child and his/her needs, more than what we do as aprents. DS1 got great comfort from his paci; DS2 just wanted to be held when he was upset.

[mariza]

Wouldn't you have been embarrassed? I think it's only natural.

No, I don't think a child with a paci is anything to be embarrassed about. I'm sorry that he felt that way, but IMO a paci is a comfort thing and different kids are ready to let it go at different times. DH insisted ours were broken of the habit by 2.5, so I told him ok, then you handle it. I was the "bad mommy" that let them have it when he wasn't around, but eventually they gave it up when they were ready. Please don't let this petty woman make you feel bad over a paci. At that age, comfort items are such a necessity. If your DC is bringing it to first grade then we might have something to talk about :). I would hope my DH would say something like, "thanks for the advice I'll be sure to consult you on all of our parenting decisions in the future". But I tend to alienate people with my sarcasm.
Please do not waste another thought on that beotch!

[arivecchi]

I meant that it is only natural to be embarrassed when some random person questions your parenting - much less a close friend.

[MamaMolly]

She actually has kids and is a child psychologist, hence she is always right about child-rearing. :shake:

Oh please. She has a piece of paper. It doesn't mean she has any damn common sense. Of course that's pretty obvious seeing how she did what she did, but still.

FWIW Lula had hers until she was nearly 2.5 because if she didn't have it she would grind her teeth when she was getting her molars. And I'd have *happily* left her on a random street corner if it weren't for the paci. I could.not.take the grinding.

[niccig]

Unbelievably rude. And she had never met you or your kids before, and she just doles out parenting advice? :32: Good for you for de-friending her.

Totally this. Let me guess, she doesn't have kids??

Our ped., the main Dr. at the office, used to be ER dr. at local Children's Hospital, told us we had until 3yo with the paci.

I would also have had choice words with DH if he was taking parenting advice from someone who didn't know his kids!

Ok..she's a child pyschologist...if your Pediatrician/Dentist is fine with it, then I would tell DH and her and anyone else to go take a hike. Sounds like she's a real winner in the friend department - quickest way to alienate other parents is to be a know it all.

[mctlaw]

. Sounds like she's a real winner in the friend department - quickest way to alienate other parents is to be a know it all.

:yeahthat:

what a busybody and a total witch! That definitely warrants a de-friending.

[Fairy]

Nosey one, eh? Ugh.

[Fairy]

Might I also add, DS never wanted a binky. I tried ... Loooord, how I tried ...

[bigpassport]

How rude!

[MamaSnoo]

Rude rude rude. Good for you for defiending (not a typo).

[TwinFoxes]

defiending

hee hee, good one.