Overheard in my House . . . Add Your Stories Here!

[sste]

DS was hilarious this weekend.

1. To babysitter when she arrived at the door and was greeted by an adoring DS in his mini-boden monster shirt: "Don't be scared of the monster . . . (lowering his voice confidentially and giving her a reassuring nod) it's just a shirt."

2. To me this morning: "Can we get in car and drive around and look for birthday parties." Apparently, he think you cruise for birthday parties wedding crashers style!

3. We always say to him in kind of funny, sing-song voice, "You do X (eat your dinner), you get Y (e.g., treat), you don't do X, then you don't get Y." Saturday morning he sing-songed happily to a bleary-eyed DH at 6am, "You turn on TV, I let you sleep. You DON'T turn on TV, you DON'T sleep." Let's just say it was not a proud parenting moment and we slept in!

4. "I want my pizza BALD!" meaning in his preferred style of no cheese, no topping, just bread and flecks of sauce.

I love age three. :) Add your stories here!

[Melaine]

All three of those are soooo hilarious!

[MMEand1]

Those are hilarious!

Overheard this morning by my 6 yo DD to my 8 yo DS:
"You made me poke myself in the eye when I was trying to hit you!"

It was one of those moments that we did not intervene in!

[jenfromnj]

Love them all!

Sste, your DS sounds like quite the smart and funny little cookie! The stories you tell about the things that he says are hysterical!

[sste]

Well, he is pretty funny (dh is like this too) but I also think part of it is that on the weekends we basically run around after him and hang on his every word - - esp. if we one or both of us worked too much during the week. So, we get alot of "material." :)

When I get too annoying to all of you with these stories, just click "ignore." Part of it is that DS didn't say hardly a word (literally) for his first two years so I am just over the moon in this past year to see how he is talking all.the.time, making jokes, etc.

I love "you made me poke myself in the eye when I was trying to hit you!" Ah, the sibling bond . . .

[JBaxter]

7 yr old statement


Why didnt you ever tell me ketchup had TOMATOES in it... You know I dont like tomatoes and you have been making me like ketchup forever.

[carolinamama]

DS2 has been potty training/wearing underwear for the past 3 weeks or so. One of the first days he was wearing underwear and had more access to his boy parts, we had a little conversation while he was in the bathroom:

DS2: Mommy, what is this?
Me: That's your p*nis honey. (for the 200th time)
DS2: Mommy, what is this?
Me: That's your scr*tum honey.
DS1: (I had NO idea he was nearby or even listening and he comes charging in all in a rush to tell DS2:) Yeah, and you have 2 little balls in there. But be really careful with those. If you squeeze too hard, it really hurts. I did that one time.

I'm not even sure why it was such a funny conversation, but DS1 was so serious and trying to be a big brother and help out DS2. Ah, life with boys. WAY too many conversations about their parts.

[Indianamom2]

DD was having a big of a dramatic meltdown at bedtime and was supposed to be heading back upstairs to bed...but was instead sitting on the steps "talking" to us:

Us: DD, go back to bed. Goodnight, love you!

DD: But I don't want to go to bed. I can't sleep....etc...You always say "Goodnight, love you" when you tell me to go to bed, but that's not what I'm looking for here!

Me (after a bit more of DD's grumbling, as she's finally headed back to bed):
Goodnight....Love you! (I couldn't resist!)

[lalasmama]

Several weeks ago:

Cousin, 8yo: "Here's your cover."

La, 6yo: "Why? We're all family."

C: "Because I'm going to feed my baby."

L: "It's okay if it's just family. But you need to put your shirt up."

C: "Why? I'm in short sleeves."

We peeked into the bedroom, and the girls are "feeding" thier babies. Cousin's is eating from her elbow. La's is drinking from her belly button. We had a good laugh, before my sister pointed out that I'm in the process of becoming a lactation consultant, and my 6yo didn't know where mama's milk came from.

[JustMe]

5 yr old ds story

Ds: Mommy, know what I want to do when I grow up? I want to marry G. I can do that, right mommy? I can do that because she's a girl because she has a vagina.

Me: Sure, you can marry G if you want to, but you know some boys marry boys and some girls marry girls.

Ds. What? No...I don't really think they can do that. Are you sure mom?

Me: Yes, J (an older boy who lives around the corner) has 2 moms and they are married.

Ds; Did J tell you that, mom? You have to be careful because J likes to make up stories!

[ladysoapmaker]

I'm slowly making a Waldorf style doll for DD#2. It's been sitting around bald because school (and the older kids activities) have taken priority.

DD#2 brings me the doll (that she pulled from my to-do craft bag), puts it into my lap and goes, "Hair, Hair, HAIR momma, Hair."


Obviously she wants me to finish her doll.

Jen

[DietCokeLover]

Chinkle chinkle little star ....... Like a diaper in the sky ......

Lol! 4 yo DD with speech delay's version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Sad she has no frame of reference for diamonds!!! Will have to talk to DH about this.

[Uno-Mom]

Ds; Did J tell you that, mom? You have to be careful because J likes to make up stories!
That.is.freakin.awesome.

Overheard between DH and 15 month Sprog, 7am, last Saturday:

DH: Want a banana?
Sprog: Nana NO!
DH: Want cheese?
Sprog: Cheese noNO!
DH: are you crabby and difficult to please?
Sprog: SLEEPY. SLEEEEEEPY!!!

DH: Sleepy? Where was that 15 minutes ago when you woke us all up?
Sprog: I da pow-wa! (I have the power)

...yeah, we taught her to say that. it's a behavioralist joke. It's back to bite us already. :) ...

[infocrazy]

DS1 was not happy about having to do Math problems. He is really into science projects etc lately, so I told him scientists, like astronauts have to use math and numbers all the time.

He told me, "Astronauts only need 10, you know, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Blast-OFF!!!!

[g-mama]

My 10-year-old son, upon seeing sweet potato fries on his plate one night this week:

"Mom! I can't believe you found a way to ruin french fries - the most perfect vegetable known to man."

[elektra]

My funniest ones today have been from DS who is 22 months.
He was playing by himself in the other room and i heard him say, " What the heck?!"

Then today we were at the vet and a very excited male dog walked into the waiting area. DD asked me, "look at that red thing, what is that?!" and I told her quietly, "that's his doggie penis". At which point DS yells loudly, several times in succession, " look at his penis!"
I couldn't help but laugh out loud as DH tried to shush him and everyone in waiting area just pretended they couldn't hear.

[Twoboos]

So funny this thread is here, this one happened like 30mins ago at dinner.

DH, after trying a new salad dressing. "Whoa! I don't know if I like it, the flavor caught me off guard."

DD2, 5yo: "Caught you?! How could it catch you, it doesn't even have a hook!!"

The French Fry one killed me, as did the sing-songy early morning TV demands. :hysterical:

[EllasMum]

My 3 year old nephew, to my dad:

DN, strapped into the carseat in Grandpa's car: "Grandpa... (looking around) Where are your tweeters?"

Grandpa: "My what?"

Frustrated DN: "Your TWEETERS. How do you enjoy a funky beat??"

LOL yes, my brother and his wife are big music fans. My bro taught DN about all the different kinds of speakers. DN is 3 years old and could probably work quite successfully at Radio Shack. Now. :ROTFLMAO:

[LMPC]

Pulling into Hardee's drive-thru the other day to grab a biscuit for me since I was running late for work.
Me: "Oh man, the line is long!"
DD: "No mama, you say "Oh crap!"

Greeeeaaat!

[TwoBees]

DS was hilarious this weekend.

Saturday morning he sing-songed happily to a bleary-eyed DH at 6am, "You turn on TV, I let you sleep. You DON'T turn on TV, you DON'T sleep." Let's just say it was not a proud parenting moment and we slept in!


:hysterical:
Thank you, I needed that after a bad weekend.

[doberbrat]

fun thread!

last week, dd1's (5) friend said to her, "I'm sorry your dog passed away."
dd1 (also 5) gets all indignant "She's not away, she's dead!"

[MamaMolly]

I was rushing through Lula's new Beauty and the Beast book tonight at bedtime. I got to the part where Belle gasped and Lula stopped me.

L: Mama? WHAT did Belle do? Did she just toot?
Me: No baby, (enunciating carefully) she gasPed. Not gassed. (our polite word for farting).

[mctlaw]

Here is mine:

DS (almost 5) went into the 1/2 bath to pee after running errands. Announced: There's poo in here!

Me: Well, you must not have flushed it, you're the only one that went poo in there!
DS: I flushed it, it's just poo streaks. :barf:
Me: Fine, just ignore it and go.
DS: No, I think I'll go upstairs. (which he then did...kid apparently can't pee on his own poo streaks)

On a sweeter note, DS, who is a geologist in the making, is always telling me he is going to find some diamonds and give them to me. Bring it on, DS!

[mctlaw]

:hysterical:
Thank you, I needed that after a bad weekend.

:yeahthat:

[kwc]

DS (almost 5), in shower (in women's locker room) after swimming lessons at the YMCA:

"How come girls have 2 penises?"

Me: "What?!? No, girls don't have penises!"

DS: "Ok, whatever Mom. You know, they have a vulva and a vulvina!"

[randomkid]

I always sit with DD in her bed at bedtime to read books, chat about the day, plan the next day, etc. She loves this time and sometimes she gets very snuggly and tells me how much she loves me. The other night, she kept hugging me repeatedly, then said "Mommy, I love you so much I could break into pieces!"

[MamaMolly]

Lula was putting the clean clothes into everyone's room, and I guess was inspecting for spots. She brought me a pair of Dolly's pants.

Lula: (kind of tut-tutting) Oh mommy, these didn't get clean.
Me: I know, I tried washing them and then tried Oxyclean. I don't think the stains are going to come out. It's ok though.
Lula: (lowering chin, looking at me with raised eyebrows) Mommy, you should just get rid of them. We don't need stained britches.

:heartbeat: I agreed and immediately put them in the donate bag. My budding de-clutterer!!!

[MamaMolly]

I always sit with DD in her bed at bedtime to read books, chat about the day, plan the next day, etc. She loves this time and sometimes she gets very snuggly and tells me how much she loves me. The other night, she kept hugging me repeatedly, then said "Mommy, I love you so much I could break into pieces!"

I'm in love! SWEET!!!

[sste]

OK, I think I may start referring to it as my vulvina! It has a real woman who run with wolves quality. :)

Also, cracking up over the "funky beat" and many, many others!!

[BabbyO]

DS is 20 old and we went to Discovery World (they have hands on science & technology exhibits for kids) this weekend.

We pointed out a zebra fish to him and he said, "Water bird, mama?" (Which was a pretty accurate description.

Last week DH got DS up and DS was rubbing his eyes...he said, "Couscous" and DH asked if he wanted couscous. DS said, "No, eye couscous." He had sleep in his eyes - again, a pretty accurate description.

[Radosti]

DS2 (2.75 yrs old) - last thursday (I posted this on Facebook): DD has her 15 mo checkup in 30 minutes. DS2 is still naked. I asked him to go find himself a diaper so that I can get him dressed. He ran off and came back with a tiny little Lego traffic cone. He tells me, "Here's my diaper!" Puts the cone on the tip of his penis, looks up triumphantly to say, "See! Diaper!" And runs off.

[JoyNChrist]

I'm not sure if shared this one here or not (happened a few weeks ago), but it's one of my favorites.

Someone gave the babies onesies with vintage Mickey and Minnie Mouse on them. DS1 said, "Look, Elliott's shirt has Mickey on it."

I said, "Yes it does. And who's on Sadie's shirt?"

"....Mickey's woman?"

[mommylamb]

Well, here's one you don't want to hear-- Saturday night we were at a friend's house for a dinner party. The women are all from my moms group when I was on maternity leave so our kids are the same age (3.5), though 2 of the families have had a second child, so 6 kids total. So, the 8 adults are all sitting at the dining table, while the kids, who had finished eating, were running around in other rooms. Suddenly my DS and one of the little girls come running into the dining room saying "There's poop in the sink!" and laughing hysterically. And yes, there was poop in the sink. Apparently one of the little girls had pooped in a potty and the other kids were saying "ew, poop, yuck" and rather than get her parents to clean it up, she decided to dispose of it herself in the bathroom sink. At which point her little brother decided to play with it in there.

[brittone2]

My 3 year old nephew, to my dad:

DN, strapped into the carseat in Grandpa's car: "Grandpa... (looking around) Where are your tweeters?"

Grandpa: "My what?"

Frustrated DN: "Your TWEETERS. How do you enjoy a funky beat??"

LOL yes, my brother and his wife are big music fans. My bro taught DN about all the different kinds of speakers. DN is 3 years old and could probably work quite successfully at Radio Shack. Now. :ROTFLMAO:

I'm cracking up!! :rotflmao:

[longtallsally05]

I never sing in public, because I'm pretty terrible, so I usually reserve my enthusiasm for singing along with the radio in my car. This afternoon I was getting my Glee on, accompanying Katy Perry on the the Firework song when DS (who just turned two) admonished me, "No screaming now!" Geez. :bag I guess I'll have to stick to singing in the shower from now on.

[trales]

DD in a public restroom " Mommy, why are you wearing a diaper, you know how to use the potty, why is your diaper red, what is that, do you need a new diaper, where are you going to put the diaper, why is it red, where does the red come from. You did not have a diaper last week, why you have one now."

This kept going on and on. I wanted to die, especially since the restroom was quite crowded.

When I was done and it was DD's turn, she loudly proclaims " I have toots, and poops and a lot of them, it might take some time. Can you tell me a story or sing a song. Can I hold onto your legs? This will take a long time, it is stinky . . . Grunt, grunt, moan, that was a toot, a big one, I think the poopy is coming, oh yes it is and it is going to be a big one. Hold on here it comes, now it is in the water, it sank to the bottom. Blah blah blah. "

[dec756]

DD in a public restroom " Mommy, why are you wearing a diaper, you know how to use the potty, why is your diaper red, what is that, do you need a new diaper, where are you going to put the diaper, why is it red, where does the red come from. You did not have a diaper last week, why you have one now."

This kept going on and on. I wanted to die, especially since the restroom was quite crowded.

When I was done and it was DD's turn, she loudly proclaims " I have toots, and poops and a lot of them, it might take some time. Can you tell me a story or sing a song. Can I hold onto your legs? This will take a long time, it is stinky . . . Grunt, grunt, moan, that was a toot, a big one, I think the poopy is coming, oh yes it is and it is going to be a big one. Hold on here it comes, now it is in the water, it sank to the bottom. Blah blah blah. "

whoooaa. that is one bathroom full of embarassment:hysterical:

[LMPC]

DD in a public restroom " Mommy, why are you wearing a diaper, you know how to use the potty, why is your diaper red, what is that, do you need a new diaper, where are you going to put the diaper, why is it red, where does the red come from. You did not have a diaper last week, why you have one now."

This kept going on and on. I wanted to die, especially since the restroom was quite crowded.

When I was done and it was DD's turn, she loudly proclaims " I have toots, and poops and a lot of them, it might take some time. Can you tell me a story or sing a song. Can I hold onto your legs? This will take a long time, it is stinky . . . Grunt, grunt, moan, that was a toot, a big one, I think the poopy is coming, oh yes it is and it is going to be a big one. Hold on here it comes, now it is in the water, it sank to the bottom. Blah blah blah. "
:hysterical: That is fantastic!!! Tears are rolling down my cheeks!!

[rlu]

Put DS on new allergy medicine today that gave him "medicine head". He told me "my brain isn't working" today.

[Smillow]

Thanks for the laugh, trales! I needed it!

[jenstring95]

These are cracking me up!!

When we pulled up to swim class last week we got a front row parking spot. DS said, "Awesome, Mom!" and DD said, "What, E? You saw a possum?".

[dcmom2b3]

Bunny tells the most absurd bizarre jokes ever, with do it herself puch lines. She's moved from knock-knocks to "why did the chicken . . ."

she: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

me: To get to the other slide?

she: No, because her food was over there and she missed her snack and she really, really just wanted to play on the swings. And dance. Two times. To music.

me: Not the slide?

she: No, the swings. Swings. Definately not the slide, mama. Snacks, too. Swings. Not the slide. [muttering to herself as she walks away, disgusted that I don't get the joke].

I think Bunny doesn't react well to someone stealing her punchline . . .

[connor_mommy]

Today, out of the blue, my 7 year old son says: I'm lucky to be a boy!

me: why?

ds: because I don't have to grow a baby

[AngelaS]

We went to Disney World a few weeks ago. After dinner at Boma, the girls and I went to the bathroom. I'm in a stall on one side of the aisle, they're in three stalls across the aisle from me.

I heard a giant fart. Man sized fart. From my 6 yo dd.

My 6 yo, says, "Wow! Did you hear that!?"
My 13yo says, "Yep. Nice one."
To which M replied, "Why thank you. Thank you very much."

(I had to sit in my stall a few moments to compose myself AND to give any parents with normal children the chance to leave the bathroom before I showed my face.)

[BabbyO]

Trales & AngelaS....I can't wait to be in your position (because I'm sure its coming). Thanks for the laughs!

Here's our latest (warning - bad parenting evident):
Tuesday night we were scrambling to get dinner and finish before we left for haircuts. I don't remember what happened, but DH let, "Damn it," escape his lips.

Ever listening, DS chirped, "Damn it," in that super cute voice of his. I said, "you mean, Darn it, right?" DS chirped back, Sh!t!"

Last Night we were at the community theatre to see the babysitter's son in a show. We brought Balloons for him, which DS loves.

The sitter's oldest DD was explaining to DH that everytime a balloon dies her mom gets another because DS loves them so much.

DH said, "What, you mom gets a balloon everytime someone you know dies...do you know that many people who've died lately?"

As we were leaving the show, the sitter complimented me on my new purse. I said, "Thanks I like it but I wish it were a hair bigger."

DH said, "What, you wish you're hair was bigger?"

Poor DH!

[alexmommy]

This is not an "overheard" but rather a "seen in my house" story.

I was reading 22 mo DS a story that featured African animals. He pointed to an animal, I named it. He pointed to a hippo, I named it, then, as if the light clicked for him, he pointed to my 28-week pregnant belly...We continued with other animals, then he deliberately turned back to the hippo page, I named it and he again pointed to my belly...Sigh.

[jgenie]

DD in a public restroom " Mommy, why are you wearing a diaper, you know how to use the potty, why is your diaper red, what is that, do you need a new diaper, where are you going to put the diaper, why is it red, where does the red come from. You did not have a diaper last week, why you have one now."

This kept going on and on. I wanted to die, especially since the restroom was quite crowded.

When I was done and it was DD's turn, she loudly proclaims " I have toots, and poops and a lot of them, it might take some time. Can you tell me a story or sing a song. Can I hold onto your legs? This will take a long time, it is stinky . . . Grunt, grunt, moan, that was a toot, a big one, I think the poopy is coming, oh yes it is and it is going to be a big one. Hold on here it comes, now it is in the water, it sank to the bottom. Blah blah blah. "

:hysterical: I'm crying here!! :hysterical:

[Sweetum]

Bunny tells the most absurd bizarre jokes ever, with do it herself puch lines. She's moved from knock-knocks to "why did the chicken . . ."

she: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

me: To get to the other slide?

she: No, because her food was over there and she missed her snack and she really, really just wanted to play on the swings. And dance. Two times. To music.

me: Not the slide?

she: No, the swings. Swings. Definately not the slide, mama. Snacks, too. Swings. Not the slide. [muttering to herself as she walks away, disgusted that I don't get the joke].

I think Bunny doesn't react well to someone stealing her punchline . . .

I have NO idea where the joke is! :o

You'all are cracking me up here! Stop it, stop it already!