edurnemk
03-07-2011, 02:37 PM
DS started Montessori preschool, 2 yo program in August. Supposedly, his classroom should be made up of kids born in 2008 only. And it was like that the first semester. There's a room for younger kids (they call it "baby room").
DS is the oldest in his class, he loves it, he's been doing great. He's proud of being the big boy and doing big boy things (using the potty, getting dressed by himself, etc). At his mid-year evaluation, he scored at the top on practically everything, and I was told he loved being an example for his classmates and helping out in the classroom. In January, they admitted a few more kids into his classroom, and the reasons this is a problem are:
a) When I toured the preschool last year, I asked about class size and they said max 20 kids, but usually they left them at 18. Now there's 21 kids in his classroom (5 new kids). Another mom, talked to the director about this already, and she was promised there would be no more changes. Also DS's room is one of the smaller ones in the school, so physical space is getting a bit tight.
b) 4 of those new kids are waaaay younger than the rest, all born in 2009 (one is from June 2009). So the youngest are 18 months younger than DS, and when I saw them together last week I saw a HUGE difference in size, development, etc. I just don't see how they can be in the same class room and do the same kind of activities. It's Montessori, so they can ll go at their own pace. But they also have psycomotricity class every day (think gymboree or gym type thing) and the 20 month old baby is just mastering his walking, I don't see how he can run and jump with the others.
This worries me because I feel they need a lot more attention than the older kids, and so the older ones are getting less attention than before. Also DS and his friends, all 3 or almost 3, play pretty rough, they could easily knock these babies/toddlers over or something. Next year DS will be in the 3-6 yo room, but IMO the developmental and physical differences between a 3 yo and a 5 yo are not as dramatic as with a 1 yo (I see this with his cousins, he can play really well with his 5-6 yo cousins, but not so much with the 1 yo).
c) The changes in his classroom have been really affecting DS. Since late January, he started having a ton of regressions. First the non-stop potty accidents, and he actually said he wanted to go back to diapers (he's been PT since June, and previously would've been offended if you suggested a diaper for him), then he started talking like a baby, it drive me nuts! He's very verbal, in 2 languages, and suddenly he only wants to babble. He's also been asking me to carry him like a baby (instead of walking) and he wants to ride his stroller everywhere. He also asked me to give him his baby toys back, and he's been asking for his paci, which we took away last summer. Finally he said he's no longer the "teacher's helper". Last Friday his teacher said, he had disobeyed her, and then refused to go sit on the "thinking chair". This is a first, he's very obedient at school.
Then last week I realized how much younger the new kids are, and it hit me: I think he's jealous of the attention they're getting.
He loves talking about school, he talks about his friends all day (the 16 original kids in his room), but he refuses to talk about the new ones. If I mention one of them, his expression changes dramatically, and he says "I don't play with him/her" "Why?" "He /she's not my friend". Then he just pouts and won't say anything else.
During the weekend I asked him if he was sad or upset because the new kids are getting a lot of attention, or because they're babies. And he said he was, and he doesn't like them. I hadn't realized how much the change in the classroom dynamic was affecting him even though he's not a particularly sensitive child, he adapts easily, he's very social.
I talked to my aunt, who's a retired preschool teacher, and she also thinks it's wrong to have this young toddlers in the same room. She also said that if this is affecting DS so much, she can't even imagine what will happen when we have another DC. Yikes!
Anyway, I feel a little cheated by the preschool I guess, since this is not what was described to us when we enrolled. I think that the director just saw $$$, and instead of telling the moms that there was no space for their kids in the baby room and that they could go on the wait list, they just thought they could stick them in the 2-3 yo room and so be it. FWIW these younger kids will not move up with the rest of the class next fall, because where we live you have to respect cut off dates starting at 3 yo.
I have an appointment with DS's teachers on Thursday, to talk about this and how it's affecting him and to find a solution. DH is also not thrilled by the situation. He's not as stressed out as me though, since we're switching DS to another school next fall (also Montessori), but he does want me to talk to the current school about the situation.
So I've you've read this far (I'm sorry it got so long), WWYD? Do you think I'm overreacting by being upset with all this? How can I help DS readjust and feel better? And what would you say to the teachers at the meeting? I know it's unrealistic to expect them to move the younger kids to another room, but I do want to express my discomfort with the situation.
DS is the oldest in his class, he loves it, he's been doing great. He's proud of being the big boy and doing big boy things (using the potty, getting dressed by himself, etc). At his mid-year evaluation, he scored at the top on practically everything, and I was told he loved being an example for his classmates and helping out in the classroom. In January, they admitted a few more kids into his classroom, and the reasons this is a problem are:
a) When I toured the preschool last year, I asked about class size and they said max 20 kids, but usually they left them at 18. Now there's 21 kids in his classroom (5 new kids). Another mom, talked to the director about this already, and she was promised there would be no more changes. Also DS's room is one of the smaller ones in the school, so physical space is getting a bit tight.
b) 4 of those new kids are waaaay younger than the rest, all born in 2009 (one is from June 2009). So the youngest are 18 months younger than DS, and when I saw them together last week I saw a HUGE difference in size, development, etc. I just don't see how they can be in the same class room and do the same kind of activities. It's Montessori, so they can ll go at their own pace. But they also have psycomotricity class every day (think gymboree or gym type thing) and the 20 month old baby is just mastering his walking, I don't see how he can run and jump with the others.
This worries me because I feel they need a lot more attention than the older kids, and so the older ones are getting less attention than before. Also DS and his friends, all 3 or almost 3, play pretty rough, they could easily knock these babies/toddlers over or something. Next year DS will be in the 3-6 yo room, but IMO the developmental and physical differences between a 3 yo and a 5 yo are not as dramatic as with a 1 yo (I see this with his cousins, he can play really well with his 5-6 yo cousins, but not so much with the 1 yo).
c) The changes in his classroom have been really affecting DS. Since late January, he started having a ton of regressions. First the non-stop potty accidents, and he actually said he wanted to go back to diapers (he's been PT since June, and previously would've been offended if you suggested a diaper for him), then he started talking like a baby, it drive me nuts! He's very verbal, in 2 languages, and suddenly he only wants to babble. He's also been asking me to carry him like a baby (instead of walking) and he wants to ride his stroller everywhere. He also asked me to give him his baby toys back, and he's been asking for his paci, which we took away last summer. Finally he said he's no longer the "teacher's helper". Last Friday his teacher said, he had disobeyed her, and then refused to go sit on the "thinking chair". This is a first, he's very obedient at school.
Then last week I realized how much younger the new kids are, and it hit me: I think he's jealous of the attention they're getting.
He loves talking about school, he talks about his friends all day (the 16 original kids in his room), but he refuses to talk about the new ones. If I mention one of them, his expression changes dramatically, and he says "I don't play with him/her" "Why?" "He /she's not my friend". Then he just pouts and won't say anything else.
During the weekend I asked him if he was sad or upset because the new kids are getting a lot of attention, or because they're babies. And he said he was, and he doesn't like them. I hadn't realized how much the change in the classroom dynamic was affecting him even though he's not a particularly sensitive child, he adapts easily, he's very social.
I talked to my aunt, who's a retired preschool teacher, and she also thinks it's wrong to have this young toddlers in the same room. She also said that if this is affecting DS so much, she can't even imagine what will happen when we have another DC. Yikes!
Anyway, I feel a little cheated by the preschool I guess, since this is not what was described to us when we enrolled. I think that the director just saw $$$, and instead of telling the moms that there was no space for their kids in the baby room and that they could go on the wait list, they just thought they could stick them in the 2-3 yo room and so be it. FWIW these younger kids will not move up with the rest of the class next fall, because where we live you have to respect cut off dates starting at 3 yo.
I have an appointment with DS's teachers on Thursday, to talk about this and how it's affecting him and to find a solution. DH is also not thrilled by the situation. He's not as stressed out as me though, since we're switching DS to another school next fall (also Montessori), but he does want me to talk to the current school about the situation.
So I've you've read this far (I'm sorry it got so long), WWYD? Do you think I'm overreacting by being upset with all this? How can I help DS readjust and feel better? And what would you say to the teachers at the meeting? I know it's unrealistic to expect them to move the younger kids to another room, but I do want to express my discomfort with the situation.