bisous
03-07-2011, 05:43 PM
I have wanted to share this with someone for awhile. Not too long ago, I posted in the bitching post. I think the title was something like, "is being a grown-up just always hard?" or something like that.
I felt really, really down. I was 8 weeks pg, overworked and had huge expectations for myself. I wasn't sleeping enough, too busy, too stressed you got it. I was hugely concerned that I was failing as a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, a friend. I just had a lot on my plate and everything was suffering.
Then I got the flu. I was sick as a dog for three weeks and it was pretty miserable (another bitching post if I recall!). It was amazing what obligations no longer became important (in my life, I realize not everyone has this luxury). I had to cancel stressful classes for my kids, I had to pushback on the job I'd been trying to leave for five months, I let the house go, I was a "bad friend", homeschooling took a hiatus and I couldn't really do anything about it.
Then one day, I woke up and saw the sun shining through the window and I felt more peace than I had for a very long time. I realized that the rest I had been obliged to get while I was so sick, together with the major scaling back of expectations gave me a reprise from the mental state that I'm sure was depression or anxiety.
I'm normally a happy person. But at least three times in my life, I've suffered from anxiety/depression episodes. I feel like a totally different person. I have so much new found respect for people who deal with these issues. In my instance, my circumstances were improved in each instance by getting more rest and being kinder to myself. I can totally see how other interventions might be necessary in other circumstances and I respect those who take care of themselves.
I just wanted to say that the world is a beautiful place--even for grown-ups and I am so thankful for the flu that gave that perspective back to me. I hope everyone who is having a hard time right now will find a way back to their happy place. :)
I felt really, really down. I was 8 weeks pg, overworked and had huge expectations for myself. I wasn't sleeping enough, too busy, too stressed you got it. I was hugely concerned that I was failing as a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, a friend. I just had a lot on my plate and everything was suffering.
Then I got the flu. I was sick as a dog for three weeks and it was pretty miserable (another bitching post if I recall!). It was amazing what obligations no longer became important (in my life, I realize not everyone has this luxury). I had to cancel stressful classes for my kids, I had to pushback on the job I'd been trying to leave for five months, I let the house go, I was a "bad friend", homeschooling took a hiatus and I couldn't really do anything about it.
Then one day, I woke up and saw the sun shining through the window and I felt more peace than I had for a very long time. I realized that the rest I had been obliged to get while I was so sick, together with the major scaling back of expectations gave me a reprise from the mental state that I'm sure was depression or anxiety.
I'm normally a happy person. But at least three times in my life, I've suffered from anxiety/depression episodes. I feel like a totally different person. I have so much new found respect for people who deal with these issues. In my instance, my circumstances were improved in each instance by getting more rest and being kinder to myself. I can totally see how other interventions might be necessary in other circumstances and I respect those who take care of themselves.
I just wanted to say that the world is a beautiful place--even for grown-ups and I am so thankful for the flu that gave that perspective back to me. I hope everyone who is having a hard time right now will find a way back to their happy place. :)