WWYD: DS Now Has an Imaginary Husband

[sste]

So, DS has apparently abandoned his former imaginary baby (the famed Lub-Lubber) in favor of an imaginary husband.

In the past few days, he has started saying, "I need to check with my husband" or "when my husband gets back I can do that" and otherwise referencing his husband. We asked him to tell us a little more about his husband and apparently his husband is a ph.d (?!) - - he said his husband is a doctor but not like Dr. N DS's pediatrician or a hospital doctor but he is still called doctor.

Anyway, I don't want to discourage him or set up some sort of gender expectation (and if DS is gay, which I kind of doubt based on his attraction from near-infancy to large-chested babysitters(!), but if he is I don't want to be the one to have communicated disapproval to him). But, I am also worried that someone might say something to him that WILL make DS feel dumb or make him think that the only acceptable pairing is husband-wife.

Do I try to explain somehow? Thus far, we have taken the route of accepting the, uh, "IH" just like any other imaginary friend . . .

[Uno-Mom]

Nothing helpful to say, except that your son sounds very cool. :)

[citymama]

This made me smile! I want daily updates on what the husband is saying and doing!

(btw, not to discourage you but I think every baby/little kid has a fascination with large chests - all the better to cuddle with!)

[kijip]

I would just be sure you document what he is saying. Write it down. Video it. It will amuse you and warm your hearts, and his kids for years to come. He is precious. And priceless. :D

[Nu_mama]

I would just roll with it. He sounds like a very imaginative little guy.

[elektra]

Aww, he sounds like he wants to be just like his mama!
Husbands can be fun! They work hard and take you on trips and love you and your kids. Who wouldn't want a husband? ;)

I might just say, "you are too young to have a husband or a wife, silly"
He sounds so creative, he will probably be on to the next thing that will bring you some new kind of grief in no time. :)

[crl]

I would not say anything. If someone else says something negative to him, I would matter of factly tell him that that person is just wrong.

Catherine

[Uno-Mom]

I was married to my best friend (also a girl) for about 6 months in 3rd grade. :) Our teachers yelled at us for it (conservative private school) but our parents wisely rolled their eyes and refrained from commenting.

But that was a different sort of situation, I'm sure. :)

[vludmilla]

I would not say anything. If someone else says something negative to him, I would matter of factly tell him that that person is just wrong.

Catherine

I love this response. Perfect :) IMHO.

[mommy111]

Personally, I would totally roll with it. And crack up quite a bit. My DS refers to himself in the feminine all the time. While grandparents correct him, it just cracks me up and I respond to him in the feminine when he starts it (Mommy, am I a good girl? Yes, honey, you're a very good girl) I know he does it because he idolizes his older sister and has learnt to speak from her. I think its a similar situation with your son, he idolizes you :)
But, if its bothering you, you could just say something like 'honey, you have to be at least 39 years old before you can have a husband or wife, whichever one you choose'

[JoyNChrist]

Just roll with it. My DS1 (newly 4) has recently decided he's a girl, and will grow up and have a husband and six babies. I told him to go for it. ;)

[blue]

Nothing helpful to say, except that your son sounds very cool. :)

:yeahthat: And he has great imagination, which is awesome :jammin:......As other have said, don't forget to write down what he says, to save for later :)

[lalasmama]

I'd just roll with it, for one big reason-- he's likely just imitating his favorite grown up, who likely is (at least occasionally) found on the phone saying "I need to wait for my husband to get home before we can meet you for xyz" or such :)

[JTsMom]

Congrats on your new SIL! lol I'd roll with it too, not read anything into it, and dare anyone to say a word about it.

[liz]

ITA with PP's- sounds like you little guy is so young- it is just a great imagination.

[sewarsh]

OMG!! That's hilarious! I don't mean to make you feel bad by laughing because i think its totally fine, just wow! what an imagination. Don't sweat it. I don't think this means he's gay or that you need to be concerned with his imagination. i think it means he's 4. Just roll with it.

[sunshine873]

Congrats on your new SIL! lol I'd roll with it too, not read anything into it, and dare anyone to say a word about it.

:rotflmao::yeahthat:
I love the detail - he's a Dr. Not like a hospital Dr, but still called Dr. From a 3 or 4 yo? Sweet!

[daisymommy]

I'm sure he is just copying the sentence structure you use--using the word husband. That's all he knows at this age. So I really wouldn't worry about it. You could say, do you mean wife? But if he rejects that, oh well, just roll with it.

[MommyofAmaya]

:yeahthat: And he has great imagination, which is awesome :jammin:......As other have said, don't forget to write down what he says, to save for later :)

:yeahthat:

DH has created gmail addresses for each kid for precisely that purpose. He sends them funny things they say as well as photos and some video. I imagine by the time they can check themselves, we will have to upgrade to a paid subscription.

[brittone2]

:rotflmao: Definitely roll with it.

Around 2.5-3.5 DD had created an entire imaginary family. It went on and on and on with great detail about every facet of their lives. She became obsessed with wanting to "drive by (her) other house" etc.

It was lovely when we'd be out and about and she'd be talking about "my other dad has an airplane. He's coming to pick me up you know..." etc. We got some interesting looks out in public periodically ;)

You should interview him about it on video. it will be a precious memory one day!

[LMPC]

I would not say anything. If someone else says something negative to him, I would matter of factly tell him that that person is just wrong.

Catherine

Yeah that! I would feel so so sorry for the person who told my 3 yo DS that they can't have a husband. Oooh, it would so not be pretty!

[sste]

Thanks everyone. :) I will just roll with it and if someone says something to him I will do as CRL suggested. He def. is imitating my expressions and incorporating them into the IH! It is just so weird/funny to hear his little three year old voice piping up with my exact intonations, "I need to check with my husband, OK?"

It is good to know there are other imaginary spouses/families out there. DS was not into that at all at age 2 and then when he turned 3 all of a sudden we had Lub-Lubber and then a few months later the IH. I can't keep up!

[boolady]

I would not say anything. If someone else says something negative to him, I would matter of factly tell him that that person is just wrong.

Catherine

:yeahthat: I think it's hysterical. DD was going to "marry" her best girl friend for about 6 months last year, and we never said a word.

[BabbyO]

This made me laugh...and seems fairly normal.

We don't have any imaginary spouses yet, but DS might have multiple personality disorder. If you ask him what his name is he will tell you one of 4 things. 1 - His actual name, 2 - Dan, 3 - Gus, 4 - I can't remember the name...its been a while since he's been this personality.

Interestingly each person has a bit of a different demeanor (Gus is a young baby, Dan is snarky, etc) and we don't know ANYONE with these names...

I think some kids are just really imaginative and that is great. (I also don't think its all that weird that DS has these other names/personalities. The sitter's kids are all pretty involved with a local theater and he goes to many practices and shows. He LOVES being on the stage and "acting" for us!)