Anyone dealt with Veteran's Aid?

[MSWR0319]

My DH's grandfather is in bad shape and can't live on his own. DH's grandmother is also in bad shape and shouldn't be living on her own. They are divorced and live within an hour from MIL who lives about 3 hours from us. She is constantly running back and forth between them and is wearing herself out. I've tried to get DH to have her put them in assisted living or at least get a nurse to help come in. It's just not feasible to do what's going on. Right now grandmother is in the hospital with a broken hip, grandfathers wife just died so MIL is running back and forth with the hour drive to the hospital and funeral and still thinks she has to take care of both. I know her step sisters would help her with her dad but she won't ask and basically runs the show, so that's not an option I guess. I know there are benefits to Veterans for assisted living, nursing homes, nurse care ,etc. But MIL insists that he's not eligible. I did a quick search this morning and based on what I'm seeing he more than likely is. He can't see, can hardly hear, can't give himself his insulin, etc. Does anyone have sources of info that I can use to help her get him started in the paperwork, which from what I've read could take forever! Or any experiences getting this benefit?

Sorry, this kinda became a ramble. I just really think this situation needs organized a little better for everyones health. MIL told me shes only doing this because she wants someone to take care of her someday, which I hope isn't the only reason. She's obviously stressed out by it all and yells at her mom when she calls about the same thing a few times a day (the poor lady has some type of dementia, she can't remember!).






FWIW, MIL probably won't listen because she thinks she's always right, but I'd like to help her and give her the info so she doesn't have to spend time doing it herself.

[LMPC]

Is he already in the VA system at any level (e.g., receives medical care from them)? If he's not, then I would start with a call to your closest VA medical center and see if you can get someone on the line that can point you in the right direction. If he's already in the system, I have a feeling this is going to be a lot easier. The VA can be a tough bear to navigate. GL!

[MSWR0319]

Yes, he does receive ALL of his medical care from them. I know the VA is tough to navigate, but what I don't get is why MIL cant call and ask questions instead of assuming something someone told her is correct.

[MaiseyDog]

Call the Primary Care Clinic that he receives his care from and ask to speak with a social worker. Keep in mind that the VA is very serious about not releasing any information unless the patient has signed a release or you have a medical power of attorney so make sure those bases or covered first. His access to aid will be determined by his medical conditions, service connections and his current financial status.

[rlu]

Not overly familiar with VA, but MIL did hospice work (nurse) and we used hospice for FIL for a while. Does VA have a hospice option?

Basically someone comes in to take care of the "nurse" work (my phrasing, not trying to offend anyone) such as giving insulin. My understanding is that the care differs per case.

[turtledove]

Not directly, but MIL did with DH's grandmother (she was in the WAVES during WWII). It took about a year to get all of the paperwork processed, and was a huge PITA. That being said, now she getting payments that cover the shortfall for her assisted living. It was a painful process, but better to start sooner than to put it off. This will sound terrible, but MIL found several people say to her "they put you off, and put you off, and then you die" :( They will pay retroactively from the time of application to time of approval. However, if you pass away during the application process, no benefits will be paid. It should be a bit easier if someone was already in the system (GMIL was not). The VA has people to help you navigate through the system, but the important thing is to start now.