I know ultimately it's really good...

[sidmand]

I just got back from the IEP meeting for my daughter and she qualified for preschool and services, but when they checked off the box "qualified for special education" and I realized I technically now have two children with special needs I started tearing up.

I know it's the best thing for her. And they even said she's on the line and if it weren't for DS they weren't sure what they would have done (they all but told me she likely wouldn't qualify for services a couple of months ago). Nothing major, but enough small, quirky things that put her just over the line. Her most major thing is articulation and she is quite delayed (but that one thing wouldn't have qualified her for preschool although it would have for speech services). She's caught up in most everything else and scored wonderfully on all the cognitive, receptive, etc. tests (even expressive, except for articulation)...I really, truly know in my head this is a good thing but it was really hard to hear someone else say it out loud.

Although they're only offering two 1/2 afternoons per week which of course are the only days she has daycare (and the only days the DCP works!) but it'll only be from April until the end of the school year this year and then next year I can figure out something new. They're not offering summer but it would be the same schedule/same teacher next school year too. For a couple of months it'll be fine. Just that she has that same Tu/Th daycare schedule come summer and it's taken a long time for her to get used to the DCP!

Just my own pity party today. :(

[hellokitty]

Don't feel bad. From my observation, I have noticed that families that have had a child who needed early intervention are more likely to utilize it again for subsequent children. It's not that there is something wrong with the kids, BUT very few ppl really know about early intervention, IEP, special needs, etc., and so families who have a child who have been through it are IMO much more aware of what services are available for their children, so they utilize it more. Like you said, in the long run, your children are better off. There are actually a lot of kids who COULD use early intervention who don't get it, b/c the parents are unaware of these services, or the doctor may have missed it, etc.. I think less and less these days is there a stigma about this sort of thing. I know a lot of kids who have some sort of special needs and I've never felt that it was a reflection of the parents.

[smiles33]

Don't feel bad. From my observation, I have noticed that families that have had a child who needed early intervention are more likely to utilize it again for subsequent children. It's not that there is something wrong with the kids, BUT very few ppl really know about early intervention, IEP, special needs, etc., and so families who have a child who have been through it are IMO much more aware of what services are available for their children, so they utilize it more. Like you said, in the long run, your children are better off. There are actually a lot of kids who COULD use early intervention who don't get it, b/c the parents are unaware of these services, or the doctor may have missed it, etc.. I think less and less these days is there a stigma about this sort of thing. I know a lot of kids who have some sort of special needs and I've never felt that it was a reflection of the parents.
:yeahthat: but still, I understand the emotional reaction despite the logic. :hug: to you, Mama, as you're being the best advocate you can be for your DC.

[maestramommy]

:hug: Did you have concerns about your DD being on the spectrum as well? Or just in speech? FWIW, we have Arwyn in preschool on IEP for just speech, also because of her articulation. Even though she started talking a little sooner than Dora, she is just not making progress at the same rate, and I'm starting to wonder if she has other issues. I know it can feel discouraging to have a 2nd child in EI, but for me I'm so grateful that there are these resources available. Back in the day parents were probably just on their own!

[zag95]

Dear OP mama-
You are doing something really great for your DD- helping her now, while she is young, helping her improve in areas where she needs extra support. I know it is hard to think about your child as needing special education services (DD is on a little IEP for articulation), but think how much you are helping your DC, rather than waiting until she is school age to get her support.

That delay of 2-3 years can mean a huge difference for your DC. You should be proud of all you are doing to support and advocate for your DC on their behalf. Some kids are not so lucky.

I can understand how you feel though.

[sidmand]

I know. I wanted her to be offered services but when it was actually said by someone other than me...it was harder than I expected. And realizing that both my DCs were now in special ed was harder than I expected!

I did have concerns about her being on the spectrum but we've gone over and over the checklist with her speech therapist and she really doesn't seem to fit. She's been in EI since she was 15 months old (she'll be 3 in about a month) and I am SO glad she had those services and I don't think I would have gotten her in so early if it weren't for DS. There is something there but no one is sure what. It is more than speech--there is a social/emotional component. She was actually almost discharged from EI a couple of weeks ago but everyone decided to keep her in because of the social/emotional problems.

I am almost certain that if DS hadn't gone through the school and they didn't know him and they didn't know me that she was enough on the border that they probably would not have offered anything and I know the school is bending over backwards to be accommodating and that's wonderful (and rare!).

I did want this and it will be a good thing. But I think when she was almost discharged (she has made tremendous progress) and when the preschool all but said she likely wouldn't receive services I became more unprepared for how I would feel when she did--does that make sense? And she is so different that DS. I could see more that DS definitely needed help (he had an official diagnosis and went 5 days/week 6 hours/day starting at age 3) and DD is more...iffy. But there is something that that isn't typical. And she had made such great progress in the last year and if that happens in the next year (and with some help) that's only a good thing. I do know it's a good thing.

[crl]

:hug: It is hard. But you are right that it is good for her to get help, especially for her to get help early.

Catherine

[brittone2]

I think every single thing you said is valid. IME it is not uncommon at all to have those mixed emotions about wanting services but being disappointed to qualify for them.

You have been a wonderful advocate for your children.

[Indianamom2]

I'm in the same boat along with you. Ds will be receiving speech therapy just like his big sister, starting this month. And big sis is still receiving services here and there with more possibly being added.

It's somewhat disheartening, but at the same time, I KNOW that it's the absolute best thing that can be done and I'm thankful that there is assistance available.

Still...it just stinks sometimes. :hug:

[maestramommy]

Yes, I know what you mean:hug:

Arwyn's IEP meeting is in less than a month. Dh and I are expecting that she will not qualify for services anymore, but I too feel like something is a little off (not speechwise, other things). So if they were to decide she does need services after all I expect I would feel the same way.

[mytwosons]

:hug::hug::hug:

[elliput]

:hug::hug::hug: I understand. DS has an appointment with our SLP in a couple weeks. I know his language is better than DD's was at this age, but I am still concerned.

[ladysoapmaker]

DD#2's IEP meetign is next Thursday. We already had the school call us and schedule the orientation for the following week. We've had the 3 older kids in the same preschool but as mainstream so it's so different...

I am truly glad we have a good system so DD#2 (& DS#2) are able to get the help they need.

Jen